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June 14, 2004 6:35 AM   Subscribe

No Retard Left Behind
posted by Blue Stone (34 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: Blue Stone is such a 'tard sometimes



 
Blue Stone, do you actually talk like that in the physical world when there are people around you? If so, do you find that they move away from you?
posted by stonerose at 6:50 AM on June 14, 2004


Retard is kind of a hot-button word, Blue Stone, just so you know.

Still, I'd love to see these actual warning labels and signs themselves. One set of pictures of dumb labels & warnings would be worth a thousand of these lists. (And not to sound jaded, but I am: I think I've seen a thousand of these lists.)
posted by chicobangs at 6:52 AM on June 14, 2004


when you take a bath, please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

but of course.
posted by quonsar at 6:53 AM on June 14, 2004


I liked the link and the warnings ("WARNING: This product may contain residue of nuts - on a packet of cashew nut pieces")...

I'm still not sure why the post was phrased that way, though.
posted by dhoyt at 7:01 AM on June 14, 2004


My current brand of cat litter has the following reminder proudly blazoned on its package: "Safe for use around pets."

I should hope so.
posted by thomas j wise at 7:10 AM on June 14, 2004


Once I bought one of those cardboard sun sheilds that you put behind your car windsheild to keep the sunlight out.

It had a warning: "Do Not Drive Vehicle when sheild is in place."
posted by jonmc at 7:11 AM on June 14, 2004


Blue Stone's use of a politically incorrect term brings out the retards to derail the thread in 3... 2... 1...
posted by quonsar at 7:11 AM on June 14, 2004


Some of these are an effort to pre-empt lawsuits from idiots, some are Engrish.

I'm sure this is someone's idea of a joke, though:

REMOVE wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat - on a muffin packet
posted by orange swan at 7:13 AM on June 14, 2004


Reminds me of the Wacky Warning Labels Contest.
posted by mojo80 at 7:31 AM on June 14, 2004


Sometimes "politically incorrect" overlaps with "genuinely offensive." There's a vast amount of repellent dogshit people are trying to defend by saying, "ohhh, was I being POLITICALLY INCORRECT?"
posted by argybarg at 7:41 AM on June 14, 2004


Bite The Wax Tadpole!

Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From The Grave!

James Bond, We Don't Want A Doctor!
posted by Pretty_Generic at 7:44 AM on June 14, 2004


Regarding the cashew nut warning: it's most likely taken out of context. On most nut containers where you're buying something other than peanuts, there will be a warning that there may be pieces of PEANUTS present. I expect that this is due to using the same machinery for processing both.

This is as a warning for people that are allergic to peanuts, and chose to eat cashews or almonds, instead. This means that if you're allergic to peanuts, that you have to read the labels of other kinds of nuts very carefully to make sure that peanut pieces are not present. Otherwise, you could die.
posted by jaded at 7:47 AM on June 14, 2004


The real issue is not that Blue Stone used a "politically incorrect" term -- the real issue (as dhoyt indicated) is why he chose to use that term. Nothing in the article spoke to retardation, and it wasn't necessary to convey the meaning of the link ("Stupid Warning Labels" or even "No Dumb Ass Left Behind" could have accomplished the same thing without offending anyone). Obviously, it's Blue Stone's right to use whatever phrase he wants, blah blah blah. The question is, why use one that you know is going to provoke a negative reaction? Isn't that the very definition of a "troll"?
posted by pardonyou? at 7:53 AM on June 14, 2004


Blue Stone's use of a politically incorrect term brings out the retards to derail the thread in 3... 2... 1...

I'm not sure you'd be so flippant if Bluestone had written "kike" or "nigger", quonsar. so much for derailing
posted by matteo at 7:54 AM on June 14, 2004


By the way, while we're derailing, when I said "Not to sound jaded..." upthread, I didn't mean you specifically, jaded. As someone who is allergic to nuts, your point is well-made.
posted by chicobangs at 7:57 AM on June 14, 2004


"WARNING! This thread discussion is not underwear! Do not attempt to wear in public!"
posted by troutfishing at 7:59 AM on June 14, 2004


chicobangs: Still, I'd love to see these actual warning labels and signs themselves.

Agreed. I have seen a few real labels of this sort, but this has the look of a genre heavily contaminated with urban myth, especially when we're seeing a list filtered through a tabloid newspaper report.
posted by raygirvan at 8:00 AM on June 14, 2004


At what point, as a society, do we get to write people off? I mean, if you are deadly allergic to nuts, and you eat some cashews, and you die, should we have laws to protect the nut company from lawsuits alleging negligence for failure to put "nuts" or a "may contain nuts" warning on the package?

How much responsibility should manufactures have? When can society write of the 'tards? Further, when does "politically incorrect" become "way of saying something that avoids truth or value"?
posted by ewkpates at 8:06 AM on June 14, 2004


this has the look of a genre heavily contaminated with urban myth

Exactly. This is like those endless lists of "dumb things students write on essays" -- it's hard to enjoy them when you suspect teachers are making them up. I only take an interest when I see convincing pictures of the actual items, and in this age of Photoshop, I'm losing interest even in such cases. Remember when there was something called "reality"?
posted by languagehat at 8:12 AM on June 14, 2004




I'm not sure you'd be so flippant if Bluestone had written "kike" or "nigger", quonsar.

bluestone didn't write kike or nigger. if JFK had said "fuck space, the moon can kiss my ass with sputnik's lips!" in the early '60's, we probably wouldn't have these flippant computers to play with. but he didn't. it's a fundamental you need to grasp, matteo. "retard" isn't any more harmful or offensive than "dumbass", being it's a common non-sexual, non-racial derogatory term for one who commits a stupidity. and in fact there is no medical or psychological or physical diagnosis or human state of being called "retard". given there ARE NO RETARDS, how could any retard be offended? the term is intended to be offensive, as is dumbass. how does pardonyou? justify one over the other? i reject the notion. and "reject"! did you know that the old jukeboxes had a "reject" button? and at one place i used to go, when you pushed it a scraggly geek wearing a dental appliance and duct-taped horn-rimmed glasses would appear and hand you a red-painted quarter. thank god that offensive practice has ended. well shit, i'm pre-THC here, so you'll all just have to forgive my niggardly behavior while i go fly a kike.
posted by quonsar at 8:24 AM on June 14, 2004


[clapclap]
posted by Pretty_Generic at 8:38 AM on June 14, 2004


"retard" isn't any more harmful or offensive than "dumbass"


I suggest you visit a school for Down Syndrome children, call them "retard", see how the staff and the parents appreciate your wit, then

the only people more annoying than the politically correct are those self-appointed hipsters who pride themselves in their being so hip using offensive/rude language
too bad that indifference to language that is painful for the disadvantaged and the oppressed is not very funny. but then, there's people who think bum fights are funny, so you never know
posted by matteo at 8:53 AM on June 14, 2004


So they'd feel better if you called them "dumbass"?

What if you called them "stupid"? That would also be an offensive name for them. Does that mean I can't refer to anyone as being stupid now?

The argument appears to be that, if a word can ever be used offensively in a different context, it is a banned word. We will shortly run out of words.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 9:02 AM on June 14, 2004


matteo, you are usually smarter less retard than this.
posted by quonsar at 9:06 AM on June 14, 2004


Metafilter: Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.
posted by rushmc at 9:07 AM on June 14, 2004


Nice one rushmc
posted by Pretty_Generic at 9:08 AM on June 14, 2004


also, matteo, as with the kennedy quote, i must point out that this IS NOT A SCHOOL FOR DOWN SYNDROME CHILDREN. but you know, if this was a colon and rectal clinic for geese, i wouldn't presume to note that common sense appears to be whooshing over your head like shit through a goose.
posted by quonsar at 9:08 AM on June 14, 2004


the term is intended to be offensive, as is dumbass. how does pardonyou? justify one over the other?

A dumbass does not mean that the person was born with, or developed, through no fault of their own, a tragic mental disability. A dumbass is, essentially by definition, a person who does something stupid. Arguably that person is, in fact, a dumbass. By contrast, calling someone a "retard" who is not actually retarded is using the unfortunate situation of the latter to make a joke towards the former. If I were to say to a heterosexual with a lisp, "You sound like a faggot," would that be appropriate?
posted by pardonyou? at 9:32 AM on June 14, 2004


Just because...

Metafilter: Whooshing over your head like shit through a goose.
posted by chicobangs at 9:33 AM on June 14, 2004


If I were to say to a heterosexual

more hypotheticals.
posted by quonsar at 9:40 AM on June 14, 2004


All retard means is "backwards". Retard and dumbass are often, perhaps usually, used synonymously. Retard can also be used to be more offensive in some other contexts, which have nothing to do with the subject of the thread. Words like "hamlet" and "budgerigar" can also be used offensively, as per example, "MAY A BUDGERIGAR DISTEND AND SAVAGE YOUR PULSATING HAMLET TILL YOU BLEED, SCREAMING LIKE A DISEASED CHILEAN IN A MOTORHOME". This does not, I would argue, invalidate the use of those words in other, more innocent contexts.

I hope this discussion has been enlightening for you.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 9:56 AM on June 14, 2004


chilean motorhome owners everywhere hate your guts, PG.
posted by quonsar at 10:09 AM on June 14, 2004


All retard means is "backwards".

wrong. maybe its connotation is different in your community, but where i come from, "retard" means developmentally disabled and it's a perjorative, whether it's directed at someone with severe developmental difficulties or a "norm." it can also just mean "dumb" in the same way that people use "gay."

calling someone who makes a mental mistake "retard" is like calling two men hugging "faggots." no difference. feel free to use the term if you like, but realize how *most* people (i least the ones i've heard) use it. metatalk is for retards.

i'll second (fourth?) chicobangs, raygirvan, and languagehat on the labels. i'm over bad Jay-Leno photoshop jobs, let alone text lists.

DON'T take a chance on ruining your vacation - come to us and be sure - travel office in Nova Scotia

ha!
posted by mrgrimm at 10:15 AM on June 14, 2004


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