I wanna keeping on loving you.... on a cruise ship.

July 22, 2004 12:07 PM

REO, Styx and Journey. On a cruise ship. Now you can take that cruise and mingle with three 80's mega-bands (if you purchase the platinum package) for seven days. Tickets anyone? [via Kill Ugly Radio]
posted by KevinSkomsvold (62 comments total)

That all depends. How much will they pay me to hang out with them?
posted by psmealey at 12:09 PM on July 22, 2004

Ach. People gotta make a living.

25 years from now, somebody's favorite band of today will be doing the same thing.

That said, Journey without Steve Perry is like a ham sandwich without ham. Also, what the hell did Kevin Cronin do to his hair?
posted by jonmc at 12:18 PM on July 22, 2004

Makes ya think, though. In 25 years, will Alanis be doing Vegas and Avril doing the cruise ships... or the other way around?
posted by psmealey at 12:20 PM on July 22, 2004

From the FAQ:

Q: Will the bands stay on the ship for the entire cruise?

A: Although we can't guarantee that the bands are on the ship for the entire cruise, we have designed a great program around the artists to create an amazing experience.

I'm wondering if this means they'll jump overboard at some point? (I know, I know, they'll probably bail in Cozumel but work with me here...)

Jonmc: Probably the same thing I did to my hair: left to the ravages of father time.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 12:22 PM on July 22, 2004

Makes ya think, though. In 25 years, will Alanis be doing Vegas and Avril doing the cruise ships... or the other way around?

And Britney will be in Playboy, Christina will be in Hustler...or the other way around?
posted by QuestionableSwami at 12:30 PM on July 22, 2004

I saw all three bands in their heydays. They couldn't have picked three of the most boring rock bands ever. 45 minute Q&A session. How exciting. Of course, some of my old high school friends would probably love to go. They could have at least gotten a band like Heart to provide some extra possiblities.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 12:35 PM on July 22, 2004

If you'd rather sail with a bunch of hippies, there's always Jam Cruise.
posted by muckster at 12:36 PM on July 22, 2004

I'm guessing this cruise will be packed with people who still use party as a verb.
posted by kgasmart at 12:41 PM on July 22, 2004

You’re thinking up your white lies
You’re putting on your bedroom eyes
You say you’re coming home but you won’t say when
But I can feel it coming
If you leave tonight keep running
And you need never look back again

You take it on the run baby
If that’s the way you want it baby
Then I don’t want you around
I don’t believe it
Not for a minute
You’re under the gun so you take it on the run
posted by joeadk at 12:41 PM on July 22, 2004

Dude, I think he actually went blond, a la Eminem and Art Alexakis. It don't work on him.

That said I'll admit that I've enjoyed all three of these bands on ocassion. Styx was basically a decent hard-rock band ruined by Dennis DeYoung's numbingly earnest stabs at MOR balladry. REO had a couple decent bar-band rockers. Journey at their best was fairly high end AOR, mainly cause Steve Perry had such a good set of pipes and Neal Schon had good guitar chops from his time as Carlos Santana's teenage protege. Just doing my part to keep this from becoming a total mullet-bash.

But I still wouldn't pay to go on a cruise with them.
posted by jonmc at 12:43 PM on July 22, 2004

Ha ha...the best seats(cabins) and cheap seats are already sold out.
Wait if it’s not a full sell out those cheaper cabins will be bumped up to better cabins for free. Wonder how big of a dick fest this will be. Excuse me - dude from behind you looked like a lady.
posted by thomcatspike at 12:51 PM on July 22, 2004

Best to pause, reflect, and ask WWJD (What Would Journey Do)?
posted by Verdant at 12:51 PM on July 22, 2004

Cruise ticket + suitcase full of disposable lighters = profit! "na na na na na na na na na na everybody now!"
posted by arse_hat at 12:53 PM on July 22, 2004

They could have at least gotten a band like Heart to provide some extra possiblities.

You nathty man.

Actually, if you wanted to pick the best of that flock of AOR-type bands (on legit talent), the obvious choices would be .38 Special and Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band.
posted by jonmc at 1:01 PM on July 22, 2004

The youth culture sociology aspect of this is something that I find endlessly fascinating. I came of age musically in a period where, specifically, these three bands were more often the butt of jokes than they were mentioned with any degree of reverence, among my contemporaries. Whereas my sister (only 4 years my senior, and with a nearly identical New York white bread suburban upbringing), would probably camp out overnight TODAY to get the chance to see any one of them. There are probably other contributing factors, but still interesting.
posted by psmealey at 1:10 PM on July 22, 2004

And Britney will be in Playboy, Christina will be in Hustler...or the other way around?

Naw, Britney will have as many kids as marriages, and she'll have a theme trailer park, Britneywood!, on the outskirts of Branson, Missouri. Me and the old lady'll go every year on our anniversary.

Christina will be co-hosting the American version of What Not To Wear on Bravo! with Christina Ricci. It'll be called Christina Hates Your Stupid Clothes. It'll be a big hit.

But Avril? Avril will totally be doing the cruises. With Lance Bass and Kelly Clarkson.

The rocker cruise would have, let's see, I'd guess, Linkin Park, Blink 182 and Me First & the Gimme Gimmes.

Sounds good, eh? But remember: This is 20 years from now.
posted by chicobangs at 1:11 PM on July 22, 2004

Also, I think the playing of Come Sail Away in a loop on the front page is a nice touch.

Oh, it changes. Never mind. But still.
posted by chicobangs at 1:14 PM on July 22, 2004

Could people buying a cruise accidentally end up on something like this? There are so many of these speciality cruises, I have to think they also get sold to the general public who don't know it's a throwback-era theme.

And what kind of special hell would that be. Walking on to a cruise that cost you thousands and discovering the onboard entertainment is REO Speedwagon. And there is no way off.....
posted by Salmonberry at 1:14 PM on July 22, 2004

Where the hell's Foreigner? That's what I want to know.
posted by JanetLand at 1:17 PM on July 22, 2004

One could hope it was a titanic voyage, all the way around...
posted by chicobangs at 1:45 PM on July 22, 2004

There's one boat that really needs to sink. The world would be much better off.
posted by bondcliff at 1:56 PM on July 22, 2004

Yes, 40+ year old groupies are just the type of women I troll for in the bars. I can't believe my luck!

Okay, seriously, I would like to see a web log of pictures posted from the cruise week. A rather interesting social experiment I would think.
posted by fluffycreature at 1:56 PM on July 22, 2004

I can't wait another ten years until the latest crop of kids who think they're god's gift start making fun of the dried-up, 30 year old skanks with the wide belts, dyed hair, clunky glasses, and star tattoos.

she's got that wacked off hair / got them second hand clothes / got an itemized list of everything she loathes / yeah she's so political / so sophisticated / she would swear in court that everything is overrated
posted by keswick at 2:12 PM on July 22, 2004

I have to admit, I'm a sucker for Journey's Greatest Hits on occasion... when Only The Young kicks in, I get all "innocent" and "free". I still have Styx's Grand Illusion, Cornerstone, and Pieces of Eight on vinyl.

"Sometimes I feel like a Man in the Wilderness..."
posted by Witty at 2:19 PM on July 22, 2004

When I was a young teen, I feel in love with Tommy Shaw. I thought he was a girl. Finding out he was a guy, combined with the strange tingling sensations that Paul Stanley's rhinestone crotch cup gave me, made me realize I was queer.

I think I'd take this cruise just for the opportunity to share these thoughts with Mr. Shaw. Who needs to lose the facial hair.
posted by WolfDaddy at 2:32 PM on July 22, 2004

...uh, fell in love with Tommy Shaw. You just keep your Freudian slip comments in the gutter, mmmkay?
posted by WolfDaddy at 2:33 PM on July 22, 2004

Tommy Shaw was the shit, Wolf. I can totally see what you see in him.
posted by chicobangs at 2:39 PM on July 22, 2004

Or what you feel in him. Whichever. Either way.
posted by chicobangs at 2:40 PM on July 22, 2004

I can't wait another ten years until the latest crop of kids who think they're god's gift start making fun of the dried-up, 30
Heck, from what I’ve heard of cruise ship entertainment, these guys truly rock. Looking at the pricing not overly expensive. These guys are older than me so put them in there 40's. Bet most of the poster in this thread participated in this genre - any Hessians out there? Add, in another 10 years you will still be in the same boat as far as people pointing at your older self. Not sure if you were being sarcastic or not, the young enjoy fun.
posted by thomcatspike at 2:47 PM on July 22, 2004

I am holding out for the mefi cruise.
posted by srboisvert at 2:48 PM on July 22, 2004

That all depends. How much will they pay me to hang out with them?

He said "Depends."
posted by chicobangs at 2:56 PM on July 22, 2004

thomcatspike: the point i was making, being dried-up and 30 myself, is that eventually, the smug hip kids who are currently mocking Styx and such will eventually be the targets of derision and scorn by their younger successors.... "oh mah gawd. a cruise with franz ferdinand, broken social scene, and modest mouse? PUH-leeez."
posted by keswick at 3:04 PM on July 22, 2004

I understand they're scattering Z-28s and Firebirds around one of the decks for making out in.
posted by mccreath at 3:23 PM on July 22, 2004

That's the mistake the Lollapalooza promoters made... they shoulda done it as a cruise!
posted by wendell at 3:25 PM on July 22, 2004

keswick ... you should know that the smug hip kids of my age were making fun of those bands in their heyday ... quite a few people of the 70's generation hated them

joeadk ... those are the worst lyrics ever ... i hate that song ... if the guy doesn't believe it, what's he getting upset about? ... never did understand that

and mr perry, while we're at it ... where the hell is south detroit? ... it's windsor, dude ... there is no south detroit

jonmc ... bob seger would be great on a cruise ship ... you should hear the stuff he did before he made it nationwide
posted by pyramid termite at 3:27 PM on July 22, 2004

REO without Gary Richrath is like a toilet without water.
posted by quonsar at 3:31 PM on July 22, 2004

Lollapacruiser
posted by kirkaracha at 3:36 PM on July 22, 2004

keswick , understood you were 30 & dried up. I took part of your comment about the “young” as being comments mocking us. The young have nothing on us, cruise ships with live entertainment may be “a thing of the past.”
posted by thomcatspike at 4:02 PM on July 22, 2004

the point i was making, being dried-up and 30 myself, is that eventually, the smug hip kids who are currently mocking Styx and such will eventually be the targets of derision and scorn by their younger successors.... "oh mah gawd. a cruise with franz ferdinand, broken social scene, and modest mouse? PUH-leeez."

But then someone will play “Mr. Roboto” and we can all go back to laughing at Styx again. I can see the point you’re trying to make, but… Styx?
posted by Gary at 4:09 PM on July 22, 2004

I can see the point you’re trying to make, but… Styx?

Could be worse. Could be Asia. Or Survivor.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:46 PM on July 22, 2004

you should hear the stuff he did before he made it nationwide

I have, man. One listen to "Chain Smokin'" and "East Side Story" would convert all the doubters out there.
posted by jonmc at 4:59 PM on July 22, 2004

"oh mah gawd. a cruise with franz ferdinand, broken social scene, and modest mouse? PUH-leeez."

Actually, it will be worse for those bands. Journey, Styx, and REO never had pretensions beyond being glorified bar bands. Can't say the same for those outfits. The fall will be so painful. Yet gratifying.
posted by jonmc at 5:07 PM on July 22, 2004

or as an equally unhip but very wise man said:

I am the entertainer, the idol of my age
I make all kinds of money when I go on the stage
You see me in the papers, I've been in the magazines
But if I go cold, I won't get sold
I get put in the back in the discount rack
Like another can of beans
posted by jonmc at 5:09 PM on July 22, 2004

jonmc ... yeah ... that was great stuff ... it's criminal how that those early records have never been reissued
posted by pyramid termite at 5:20 PM on July 22, 2004

Yeah, I tell people that Seger was actually a proto-punk (the MC5 said that when they made Back In The USA that Seger's original version of "Ramblin' Gamblin' Man" was their model) but they never belive me. All they can see is the earnest balladeer of later years. But even some of that stuff was great for what it was.
posted by jonmc at 5:22 PM on July 22, 2004

Talkin' about rock vacations--I just saw Festival Express about the 1970 Canadian train trip with the Grateful Dead, Janis, the Band, Buddy Guy (and Sha Na Na.) It's fantastic.
posted by muckster at 5:34 PM on July 22, 2004

Programming note: This week CNN International has been hyping its "Living Golf" program featuring a day on the links with Alice Cooper.
posted by planetkyoto at 5:44 PM on July 22, 2004

whenever i hear billy joel, i always feel like i should be in some overpriced midtown deli.

which way to the overheated yam/marshmallow stuff?
posted by pxe2000 at 6:41 PM on July 22, 2004

I love that overheated yam/marshmallow shit.
posted by jonmc at 6:43 PM on July 22, 2004

i bet you do, jonmc. i bet you do.

how is it that i always end up discussing junk food with you?
posted by pxe2000 at 7:08 PM on July 22, 2004

I love that overheated yam/marshmallow shit.

That's pretty much how I feel about Journey, too. Except for the words "I love".

Now if this was a cruise with April Wine, Chilliwack and Trooper, that'd be different...
posted by arto at 8:39 PM on July 22, 2004

Could be worse. Could be Asia. Or Survivor.

Am I the only one who has been enjoying both the Tour de France and the many entertaining commercials on OLN during it?

ROY! Roy, Roy, ROY! Roy, Roy, ROOOOY ...
posted by yhbc at 8:43 PM on July 22, 2004

Hey I liked Asia.

Oh, wait, no sorry, I liked Roger Dean.
posted by WolfDaddy at 8:51 PM on July 22, 2004

On a cruise ship? With Journey? My personal hell has now been defined.
posted by m@ at 9:04 PM on July 22, 2004

Now if this was a cruise with April Wine, Chilliwack and Trooper, that'd be different...

Ah, April Wine, one of mullet-rock's buried gems. The canadians take good care of their boogie bands.

how is it that i always end up discussing junk food with you?

because junkfood and music that nobody besides me likes are the only things I have anything remotely resembling expertise in, so I grab hold of them whenever they're even remotely touched on. Otherwise, I'd just be hanging around here looking stupid.
posted by jonmc at 9:13 PM on July 22, 2004

I would've laughed too. Then I saw a video with members from all three bands crammed into a tiny room playing REO's Keep on Rolling. There must have been 12 guitars packed in that space and they sounded incredible. It was quite the jam.
posted by euphorb at 10:00 PM on July 22, 2004

Don’t stop believin’
Hold on to the feelin’
Streetlight people
posted by sixdifferentways at 1:24 AM on July 23, 2004

I've actually discovered that I like Foreigner a lot in retrospect. Can't say the same for these bands, though. Also, Loverboy has always sucked.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 3:39 AM on July 23, 2004

What I want to know is...will there be a "Ganja Taste Testing Tour" for these old rockers when they hit Jamaica? That would be the shit now wouldn't it?
posted by SweetIceT at 6:01 AM on July 23, 2004

EB, it pains me, but I gotta side with Carl on this one. Loverboy was as good as, uh, well, disco ever was, at least. (That's not gonna win you over, is it. Hm.)

Okay, it doesn't pain me too much.

What pains me (srry, commish) are those awful coffee ads on OLN. They're wretched. It hurts to see Survivor debase themselves so completely. (Though it does kind of indicate how little they got paid for it the first time around.)
posted by chicobangs at 7:03 AM on July 23, 2004

jonmc: Journey at their best was fairly high end AOR, mainly cause Steve Perry had such a good set of pipes and Neal Schon had good guitar chops from his time as Carlos Santana's teenage protege.

Journey... A band that I have a love/hate relationship with, mostly hate. Being from San Francisco, they were so massively huge that I had to pretend to like them in order not to get my ass kicked in Jr. High. I thought their stuff was fluffy, mawkish, and shallow, not to mention that most of the people I knew that were into them were morons with barely contained sociopathic tendencies - these were the kids who went downtown for a festive night of queer-bashing every weekend.

Then again, I always loved the production on their records, how they managed to make a massive guitar assault, yet still sound really crisp and clean. "Wheel in the Sky" is an amazing song. And for reasons unknown, they had the criminally under-acknowleged local punk band, The Mutants, open their local shows.

Just doing my part to keep this from becoming a total mullet-bash.

Quality Mullet-Rock: Thin Lizzy, Areosmith (the 70's stuff, not their more recent crap) & Boston. Not REO Speedwagon, ever.

I do have to admit that the early Bob Seeger stuff I've heard rocked pretty hard. By the time that the mid - late 70's rolled around though, he pretty much sucked ass , thereby adding credence to my theory that great bands become increasingly suckier in direct correlation to their increasing popularity.
posted by echolalia67 at 7:46 PM on July 23, 2004

If you'd rather sail with a bunch of hippies, there's always Jam Cruise.

Or...if you'd rather be with stoners, there's always the Cannabis Cup.

I understand they're scattering Z-28s and Firebirds around one of the decks for making out in. by mccreath

Heh. Comedy gold.

As to the lineup, it indeed could have been much, much worse. Imagine the horror of being trapped in open water with Cinderella, Ratt, and White Snake.
posted by dejah420 at 9:55 PM on July 23, 2004