Worst. Trailer. Ever.
August 10, 2004 5:17 PM Subscribe
You know, I was all prepared to lecture you on what a poor post this was...until I watched the trailer. Wow. That really is fucking awful.
posted by ColdChef at 5:34 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by ColdChef at 5:34 PM on August 10, 2004
Yeah, I know it is a marginal FPP. But I thought it was terrible enough for people to have a little fun with it.
posted by McBain at 5:39 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by McBain at 5:39 PM on August 10, 2004
Keswick, don't deprive me of my enoyment of such a truly brilliant pice of filmmaking.
I am going to brand the foreheads of every director woh ever thinks of making a movie like this with the phrase "lots of ammo means it's not a horror movie."
posted by Space Coyote at 5:39 PM on August 10, 2004
I am going to brand the foreheads of every director woh ever thinks of making a movie like this with the phrase "lots of ammo means it's not a horror movie."
posted by Space Coyote at 5:39 PM on August 10, 2004
But it does have that wicked knife throwing scene at the end. Heh.
That was aces. I laughed plenty, thank you.
Gotta hand it to the trailer makers. It felt half an hour long and I know nothing about the movie (Plot? Premise? Location? Year?)! Oh, and it's called Alone in the Dark but no one's really ever on screen alone except for the security guard (red shirt). Brilliant!
posted by dobbs at 5:43 PM on August 10, 2004
That was aces. I laughed plenty, thank you.
Gotta hand it to the trailer makers. It felt half an hour long and I know nothing about the movie (Plot? Premise? Location? Year?)! Oh, and it's called Alone in the Dark but no one's really ever on screen alone except for the security guard (red shirt). Brilliant!
posted by dobbs at 5:43 PM on August 10, 2004
Even worse is this 16mb quicktime trailer for the movie 'Three' starring Kelly Brook and Billy Zane. It's 'Dead Calm' on a desert island! With boobs!
posted by tapeguy at 5:47 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by tapeguy at 5:47 PM on August 10, 2004
The War Room was made out of corrugated cardboard and string. Confirm/deny?
When are they going to make my zombies attack an orphanage of 6-13yr olds in the middle of the mountains with hints of The Shining movie?
posted by holloway at 5:50 PM on August 10, 2004
When are they going to make my zombies attack an orphanage of 6-13yr olds in the middle of the mountains with hints of The Shining movie?
posted by holloway at 5:50 PM on August 10, 2004
That was truly sad. I thought Slater was worth a bit more than that... but not for any particular reason, mind you.
posted by Witty at 5:55 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by Witty at 5:55 PM on August 10, 2004
Pretty high score on the crate scale for something that's not a first person shooter.
posted by NortonDC at 6:01 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by NortonDC at 6:01 PM on August 10, 2004
I kept waiting for the joke, but there wasn't any. So nice, I watched it twice!
posted by iconomy at 6:04 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by iconomy at 6:04 PM on August 10, 2004
yeah, so this is based on the alone in the dark computer game series, i guess? i kept wondering if this was a new alone in the dark game and the video was from cutscenes or something. but an actual movie? um.
posted by bargle at 6:07 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by bargle at 6:07 PM on August 10, 2004
Electromagnetics off the scale!
Calibrating all sensors now, sir.
posted by 2sheets at 6:08 PM on August 10, 2004
Calibrating all sensors now, sir.
posted by 2sheets at 6:08 PM on August 10, 2004
This trailer looks like it's still a little rough around the edges and the IMDB Summary seemed a little breathless. But the site says the movie is still under production, who knows, with a little movie magic, it might be still be good.
posted by phyrewerx at 6:11 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by phyrewerx at 6:11 PM on August 10, 2004
Did anyone else think that part in the videogame where you had to set the tree on fire and escape the water monster at the same was a little too hard?
posted by whoshotwho at 6:22 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by whoshotwho at 6:22 PM on August 10, 2004
Wow tapeguy! Thanks a lot. I will never get those 2 minutes back...
phyrewerx, Tara Reid's IMDB listing declares Alone to be in "post production."
[oh, and did anyone notice that this trailer is hosted on the director's site, which means he'll probably see this thread (or maybe hear about it). yikes.]
posted by shoepal at 6:26 PM on August 10, 2004
phyrewerx, Tara Reid's IMDB listing declares Alone to be in "post production."
[oh, and did anyone notice that this trailer is hosted on the director's site, which means he'll probably see this thread (or maybe hear about it). yikes.]
posted by shoepal at 6:26 PM on August 10, 2004
Yeah, movie magic. Like editing out everything that was in the trailer.
You're sure this is a movie?
posted by casarkos at 6:26 PM on August 10, 2004
You're sure this is a movie?
posted by casarkos at 6:26 PM on August 10, 2004
The Mystery Begins
Fall 2004
Oh no, my friends. The mystery has already begun.
posted by bachelor#3 at 6:35 PM on August 10, 2004
Fall 2004
Oh no, my friends. The mystery has already begun.
posted by bachelor#3 at 6:35 PM on August 10, 2004
Alone in the Dark? Since when did they make movie adaptations of games that are well over ten years old?
Besides, the game itself was simply a Lovecraft knockoff (a good one, but still).
Anyways yeah, that trailer is pretty bad. I couldn't even watch the whole thing.
posted by neckro23 at 6:36 PM on August 10, 2004
Besides, the game itself was simply a Lovecraft knockoff (a good one, but still).
Anyways yeah, that trailer is pretty bad. I couldn't even watch the whole thing.
posted by neckro23 at 6:36 PM on August 10, 2004
To hell with the director. He should know better. I for one feel bad for Christian Slater.
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 6:38 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 6:38 PM on August 10, 2004
From his filmography:
1998: Producer of FIASCO
I think that says it all.
posted by bashos_frog at 6:47 PM on August 10, 2004
1998: Producer of FIASCO
I think that says it all.
posted by bashos_frog at 6:47 PM on August 10, 2004
Also House Of The Dead, "based on the best selling video game."
Oh and here's another one, The Heart of America.. The Description of The Movie:
posted by holloway at 6:56 PM on August 10, 2004
Oh and here's another one, The Heart of America.. The Description of The Movie:
In this increasingly violent culture, THE HEART OF AMERICA takes a hard look at the issues and pressures facing teenagers in suburban high schools everywhere. Using an interweaving plotline featuring ten characters, the film follows their paths on this, the last day of school.Yeah, you heard him, "cronies".
Tommy and Karen have been dating for years, but this morning they will have a conversation in which Tommy's true nature is revealed, changing their future and tarnishing their past. Kevin and Robin have a different conversation - whether or not she will keep the baby she just realized she is carrying. Dara's on medication, but decides she needs more of a boost. She gets this kick from Wex, the local "dope man", but the ramifications of this encounter is stronger than one might guess. Will Pratt is the creative writing teacher who is in a slump in his own writing. His subconscious competitiveness with his own students only adds to the pressure brewing this morning. Finally, Ricky and his cronies enjoy playing the role of school bully. Their torment of Daniel and Barry will have the most dire consequence on all these characters.
Shot in real time, from the moment these characters wake up until the first bell, THE HEART OF AMERICA examines these explosive topics in a responsible manner. With an engrossing storyline, strong characterization and meaty dialogue, THE HEART OF AMERICA entertains while displaying the warning signs that are tearing apart at the fabric of society.
posted by holloway at 6:56 PM on August 10, 2004
Geez, the guy's got an assembly line going. He directed House of the Dead and now he's doing Alone in the Dark , then, in 2005, there's Bloodrayne, then, in 2006, there's Far Cry.
that's four videogame-based movies in row.
posted by GeekAnimator at 7:04 PM on August 10, 2004
that's four videogame-based movies in row.
posted by GeekAnimator at 7:04 PM on August 10, 2004
Well, you know what they say.... one man's trash is another man's Tara Reid.
posted by spilon at 7:07 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by spilon at 7:07 PM on August 10, 2004
I kept waiting for the punchline.
There was no punchline.
(huddles in corner, whimpers)
posted by davidmsc at 7:32 PM on August 10, 2004
There was no punchline.
(huddles in corner, whimpers)
posted by davidmsc at 7:32 PM on August 10, 2004
House of the Dead is generally agreed to be the worst video game movie ever, uncontested, utterly destroying MK Annihilation and even Super Mario Brothers.
Apparently, during the pivotal fight scene scenes from the video game are interwoven with actual film footage.
I rest my case.
spilon - bwaaaaaaaahahahhaha
posted by effugas at 7:32 PM on August 10, 2004
Apparently, during the pivotal fight scene scenes from the video game are interwoven with actual film footage.
I rest my case.
spilon - bwaaaaaaaahahahhaha
posted by effugas at 7:32 PM on August 10, 2004
[oh, and did anyone notice that this trailer is hosted on the director's site, which means he'll probably see this thread (or maybe hear about it). yikes.]
Is it? Allow me to address the director: Sir, I have crapped more artistic turds than that trailer.
Thank you.
posted by keswick at 7:37 PM on August 10, 2004
Is it? Allow me to address the director: Sir, I have crapped more artistic turds than that trailer.
Thank you.
posted by keswick at 7:37 PM on August 10, 2004
Why is the middle minute or so just shooting? Thousands of rounds of ammunition and nothing happens! This will make an excellent movie night when it hits video (about 2 weeks after theatrical release).
posted by uncleozzy at 7:55 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by uncleozzy at 7:55 PM on August 10, 2004
Uh.... you think this is actually going to go to theatrical release instead of straight to video?
I'm deeply confused. What's with the girl in the High Voltage area? The museum? What's the hero doing at the control room of the Starship Enterprise ("calibrating all sensors now, Sir") AND in the museum with the mad scientist? And what's with the alien plant thing?
You know, the director probably went to film school. Maybe he had big dreams... big, big dreams. Bergman. Fellini. You know.
And here he is. Feel his pain.
He's certainly made me feel it throughout those two, never to be recaptured, minutes of my life.
posted by jokeefe at 8:15 PM on August 10, 2004
I'm deeply confused. What's with the girl in the High Voltage area? The museum? What's the hero doing at the control room of the Starship Enterprise ("calibrating all sensors now, Sir") AND in the museum with the mad scientist? And what's with the alien plant thing?
You know, the director probably went to film school. Maybe he had big dreams... big, big dreams. Bergman. Fellini. You know.
And here he is. Feel his pain.
He's certainly made me feel it throughout those two, never to be recaptured, minutes of my life.
posted by jokeefe at 8:15 PM on August 10, 2004
"Sir, should we maybe look up around the ceiling?"
"Stand down soldier! Command says we have to lay continual fire around these crates in case anything walks by!"
"But sir yearrrrrrrghhhhhh..."
posted by patgas at 8:22 PM on August 10, 2004
"Stand down soldier! Command says we have to lay continual fire around these crates in case anything walks by!"
"But sir yearrrrrrrghhhhhh..."
posted by patgas at 8:22 PM on August 10, 2004
Wow. What a craptacular suckfest. I can't wait to see it... in the dollar theater.
posted by wintereclipse at 8:27 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by wintereclipse at 8:27 PM on August 10, 2004
House of the Dead is generally agreed to be the worst video game movie ever, uncontested, utterly destroying MK Annihilation and even Super Mario Brothers.
Apparently, during the pivotal fight scene scenes from the video game are interwoven with actual film footage.
This does not even begin to describe why House Of The Dead was horrible.
If it was just random footage from the game intermingled, that'd be only somewhat lame. But when you see that they cut in footage that shows RELOAD, or even better, INSERT CREDIT/GAME OVER, it's the sign of pure don't-give-a-fuck style of filmmaking.
The MILLIONS OF BULLETS BUT NO ONE DEAD scene in the AITD trailer is certainly reminiscent of the big scene in HOTD, but they'll need to throw in at least one needless matrix-style spin around each character to even come close to the same level.
If you have a Netflix account and have nothing else to put in your queue, rent HOTD. No textual description can do it justice.
posted by Remy at 8:29 PM on August 10, 2004
Apparently, during the pivotal fight scene scenes from the video game are interwoven with actual film footage.
This does not even begin to describe why House Of The Dead was horrible.
If it was just random footage from the game intermingled, that'd be only somewhat lame. But when you see that they cut in footage that shows RELOAD, or even better, INSERT CREDIT/GAME OVER, it's the sign of pure don't-give-a-fuck style of filmmaking.
The MILLIONS OF BULLETS BUT NO ONE DEAD scene in the AITD trailer is certainly reminiscent of the big scene in HOTD, but they'll need to throw in at least one needless matrix-style spin around each character to even come close to the same level.
If you have a Netflix account and have nothing else to put in your queue, rent HOTD. No textual description can do it justice.
posted by Remy at 8:29 PM on August 10, 2004
Among the many oversights: forgetting to cast Tim Thomerson.
posted by samuelad at 8:33 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by samuelad at 8:33 PM on August 10, 2004
NortonDC, what about Corey&Corey. [warning: Brent DiCrescenzo link]
posted by shoepal at 9:01 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by shoepal at 9:01 PM on August 10, 2004
I was all ready to lambaste the hyperbole... but then I watched the trailer. McBain, you're not exaggerating. This is the worst trailer I've ever seen. I bet the movie is actually better than it looks after watching the trailer, because there's just no way it could be this bad. What was with the three minutes of sustained gunfire in the middle of the fucking thing? Was this trailer made by accidental dadaist splicing of random scenes from the film?
posted by jonson at 9:07 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by jonson at 9:07 PM on August 10, 2004
Wow, that was remarkably inept. I was really surprised to recognize Christian Slater, Tara Reid and Stephen Dorff amid the random chaos. Perhaps they were subject to some sort of blackmail?
posted by Tubes at 9:16 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by Tubes at 9:16 PM on August 10, 2004
You know what, though? It's just occured to me that this is labeled as a "promotional trailer." It may have been an early pre-production piece cobbled together from a few test shots with the primary actors and some conceptual special effects, and designed only to convince potential investors of a general concept. It's possible that none of the footage we've just seen would actually remain in the final product.
posted by Tubes at 9:22 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by Tubes at 9:22 PM on August 10, 2004
House of the Dead was unarguably the WORST movie I have ever seen, not just the worst videogame movie, just the worst movie period - for every reason imaginable. Yes, I saw it in the theater. Yes I am a fool. As was said above - the videogame cutscenes are just the the tip of the stinky iceberg. In fact, even the stupid intercut videogame scenes were done in crappy-very-low-resolution Video Grabs, intercut into a frickin' 35mm film. I didn't think it was possible to get worse performance out of an actor than HotD, but this one may lower the ante even further. Eeeew.
posted by kokogiak at 9:39 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by kokogiak at 9:39 PM on August 10, 2004
"Hutchins! Just open the fucking door already!"
Anyone see where the key went?
posted by Tuatara at 9:45 PM on August 10, 2004
Anyone see where the key went?
posted by Tuatara at 9:45 PM on August 10, 2004
House of the Dead was unarguably the WORST movie I have ever seen,
I'm betting you haven't seen Dreamcatcher or Trixie.
posted by dobbs at 9:55 PM on August 10, 2004
Did anyone else notice that the spent bullet they show bouncing on the floor in slow-mo is obviously from a blank?
This is a blank
Notice the characteristic crimping in the shell. You'd think they could at least bother to get 1 real cartridge. Yeesh.
posted by TungstenChef at 9:59 PM on August 10, 2004
This is a blank
Notice the characteristic crimping in the shell. You'd think they could at least bother to get 1 real cartridge. Yeesh.
posted by TungstenChef at 9:59 PM on August 10, 2004
CHRISTIAN MOFUCKIN SLATER!!!!!!!
Drugs are bad. This guy once had a career.
It's 'Dead Calm' on a desert island! With boobs!
Dead Calm had boobs. Nicole Kidman boobs.
posted by rushmc at 10:13 PM on August 10, 2004
Drugs are bad. This guy once had a career.
It's 'Dead Calm' on a desert island! With boobs!
Dead Calm had boobs. Nicole Kidman boobs.
posted by rushmc at 10:13 PM on August 10, 2004
I clocked this as a Vancouver production the moment I saw the first nations sculpture in the museum. Sure enough. Woo! Go Hollywood North! Doesn't it just make you proud?
posted by pascal at 10:18 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by pascal at 10:18 PM on August 10, 2004
I'm betting you haven't seen Dreamcatcher or Trixie.
Or Roller Blade.
Worst. Movie. Ever.
posted by Vidiot at 10:53 PM on August 10, 2004
Or Roller Blade.
Worst. Movie. Ever.
posted by Vidiot at 10:53 PM on August 10, 2004
Going into it, I was sure I'd be able to hang on to "The Core" as worst trailer ever ("We can't do it..." "But what if we could?"), but you were right!
posted by Krrrlson at 10:55 PM on August 10, 2004
posted by Krrrlson at 10:55 PM on August 10, 2004
Boss : 'What are we looking at Keshelski?'
Keshelski : 'Electromagnetics off the scale, commander, I don't particularly like it.'
Tech Guy : 'Callibrating all sensorys now sir '
Shot of crap graphic of US with beeps
Boss : 'Jesus Christ'
Brilliant. A worthy fpp.
posted by kenaman at 11:29 PM on August 10, 2004
Keshelski : 'Electromagnetics off the scale, commander, I don't particularly like it.'
Tech Guy : 'Callibrating all sensorys now sir '
Shot of crap graphic of US with beeps
Boss : 'Jesus Christ'
Brilliant. A worthy fpp.
posted by kenaman at 11:29 PM on August 10, 2004
I dunno. I mean, yeah, by any measure that promo fails. It doesn't do any of the things that a trailer should do. But it could be as Tubes suggests, which would make more sense. But then the film's in post, so...
The dialogue we hear is worse than hackneyed. That's scary.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:33 PM on August 10, 2004
The dialogue we hear is worse than hackneyed. That's scary.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:33 PM on August 10, 2004
Did anyone else notice that the spent bullet they show bouncing on the floor in slow-mo is obviously from a blank?
uhh... yeah. THAT'S what's wrong with this trailer.
posted by jonson at 11:44 PM on August 10, 2004
uhh... yeah. THAT'S what's wrong with this trailer.
posted by jonson at 11:44 PM on August 10, 2004
I have no words.
dobbs: Dreamcatcher was high art compared to this!
posted by Pretty_Generic at 12:54 AM on August 11, 2004
dobbs: Dreamcatcher was high art compared to this!
posted by Pretty_Generic at 12:54 AM on August 11, 2004
>Did anyone else notice that the spent bullet they show bouncing on the floor in slow-mo is
>obviously from a blank?
uhh... yeah. THAT'S what's wrong with this trailer.
Hey, to those of us who shoot guns it's pretty glaring. With production values like that, I'm going to watch it again to see if I can spot any boom mics hanging down.
posted by TungstenChef at 1:00 AM on August 11, 2004
>obviously from a blank?
uhh... yeah. THAT'S what's wrong with this trailer.
Hey, to those of us who shoot guns it's pretty glaring. With production values like that, I'm going to watch it again to see if I can spot any boom mics hanging down.
posted by TungstenChef at 1:00 AM on August 11, 2004
Um... they were standing still, with no cover, being shot at with machine guns for five minutes.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 1:08 AM on August 11, 2004
posted by Pretty_Generic at 1:08 AM on August 11, 2004
Tungstenchef - yes I did but I really didn't want to scare anybody with anal gun freakiness.
Which would make an awesome band name by the way.
on preview - erm... some of us have an issue with detail maybe.
posted by longbaugh at 1:09 AM on August 11, 2004
Which would make an awesome band name by the way.
on preview - erm... some of us have an issue with detail maybe.
posted by longbaugh at 1:09 AM on August 11, 2004
I haven't seen the trailer (dial-up), but I feel compelled to point out that trailer content is rarely in the hands of directors. Believe it or not, you gotta be a serious name commodity before your input is even considered. Too much money is at stake and out of sheer panic the investors (paradoxically) put those decisions into the hands of non-creative types. Indeed, a burgeoning trend in Hollyweird is for producers to submit a prospective script to one of these ad agencies and spend hundreds of thousands (to millions) of dollars to do a mock-up ad campaign complete with a proto-trailer based on the beats they select from the script. Keep in mind, this is long before the script is even purchased or one inch of the actual movie is filmed!
posted by RavinDave at 1:51 AM on August 11, 2004
posted by RavinDave at 1:51 AM on August 11, 2004
From what I remember, the "trailer" for House of the Dead had a similar "artistic" style. It stopped completely in the middle and added a scene from the movie.
This is so much worse.
That's an amazing feat.
posted by Pinwiz at 1:52 AM on August 11, 2004
This is so much worse.
That's an amazing feat.
posted by Pinwiz at 1:52 AM on August 11, 2004
What Tubes said. This has all the hallmarks of being a promo trailer -- designed to market the film to distributors at a time when very little (if any) actual footage has been shot. This is not a consumer trailer. It's telling potential purchasers that they've got stars, CGI effects, guns and a creepy-ass plot.
I have seen movie promos more inept than this. Many of them.
posted by Hogshead at 3:14 AM on August 11, 2004
I have seen movie promos more inept than this. Many of them.
posted by Hogshead at 3:14 AM on August 11, 2004
You want bad movies?
Check out Welcome To Mooseport
posted by catchmurray at 4:20 AM on August 11, 2004
Check out Welcome To Mooseport
posted by catchmurray at 4:20 AM on August 11, 2004
Can we outfit our armed forces with whatever it is those crates are made of? All those rounds, and not a splinter... amazing.
of course, we'd have to make sure our enemies were only firing those little lights (and the occasional blank), but still...
posted by GhostintheMachine at 5:23 AM on August 11, 2004
of course, we'd have to make sure our enemies were only firing those little lights (and the occasional blank), but still...
posted by GhostintheMachine at 5:23 AM on August 11, 2004
Haven't seen Trixie or Roller Blade, but I did see Dreamcatcher the other night, and while Dreamcatcher was bad, it at least had Morgan Freeman, some decent production values, and some believable acting. House of the Dead had none of that, period.
posted by kokogiak at 5:33 AM on August 11, 2004
posted by kokogiak at 5:33 AM on August 11, 2004
But the real question is how it will stand up to the only movie to get a -437 on the 1 to 10 scale: The Avengers.
posted by bshort at 5:37 AM on August 11, 2004
posted by bshort at 5:37 AM on August 11, 2004
For my money, few films are worse than Battlefield Earth. Even fewer are worse than Scenes from a Mall. Nothing is worse than Highlander II.
But this one? Oh, my friends... I do believe this heralds a new dawn of unbelievable suckage.
posted by grabbingsand at 5:52 AM on August 11, 2004
But this one? Oh, my friends... I do believe this heralds a new dawn of unbelievable suckage.
posted by grabbingsand at 5:52 AM on August 11, 2004
It's an anti-trailer. A trailer, so bad, that everyone will talk about it. Lots of publicity and probably easier to do than making a good trailer.
posted by jiroczech at 6:00 AM on August 11, 2004
posted by jiroczech at 6:00 AM on August 11, 2004
ravindave: haven't seen the trailer (dial-up), but i feel compelled to point out that trailer content is rarely in the hands of directors.
Ravin, normally you'd be dead on, but considering the... uh... "low budget" nature of this affair, that the director is also the producer and the fact that it's hosted on the director's own website, I'm guessing he either cut his little gem himself or sat next to the real editor while he did it. I for one say we should be rousing the other villagers, lighting our torches and storming his castle gates before he has a chance to make another one of these monstrosities...
Then again, how bad can a film be if it has a production designer named Tink?!
posted by JollyWanker at 7:03 AM on August 11, 2004
Ravin, normally you'd be dead on, but considering the... uh... "low budget" nature of this affair, that the director is also the producer and the fact that it's hosted on the director's own website, I'm guessing he either cut his little gem himself or sat next to the real editor while he did it. I for one say we should be rousing the other villagers, lighting our torches and storming his castle gates before he has a chance to make another one of these monstrosities...
Then again, how bad can a film be if it has a production designer named Tink?!
posted by JollyWanker at 7:03 AM on August 11, 2004
Did anyone else notice that the spent bullet they show bouncing on the floor in slow-mo is obviously from a blank?
Why I thought it was a joke.
posted by thomcatspike at 9:23 AM on August 11, 2004
Why I thought it was a joke.
posted by thomcatspike at 9:23 AM on August 11, 2004
Pure disbelief. I've seen some bad trailers (heh, that three one was awesome), and when the trailer opened it didn't look that bad. Then the camera moved through the chain link fence and I thought "hmmmm, quite nice".
Then Christain Slater and the five minute shoot out.
Without any shadow of a doubt. Worst. Trailer. Ever. I feel sordid and dirty having watched that. Great find.
posted by ciderwoman at 9:43 AM on August 11, 2004
Then Christain Slater and the five minute shoot out.
Without any shadow of a doubt. Worst. Trailer. Ever. I feel sordid and dirty having watched that. Great find.
posted by ciderwoman at 9:43 AM on August 11, 2004
What Tubes said. This has all the hallmarks of being a promo trailer -- designed to market the film to distributors at a time when very little (if any) actual footage has been shot. This is not a consumer trailer. It's telling potential purchasers that they've got stars, CGI effects, guns and a creepy-ass plot.
I have seen movie promos more inept than this. Many of them.
I agree that this seems to be the case. If nothing else, people should know that even the very worst hollywood movies have trailers that follow a very specific formula, one that doesn't just look like a random string of scenes. I have no doubt that this movie will probably suck, but I don't think it will suck that bad. Everything about that preview was shameful, to the point that even terrible B movies make the production values look glaringly bad.
posted by The God Complex at 10:03 AM on August 11, 2004
I have seen movie promos more inept than this. Many of them.
I agree that this seems to be the case. If nothing else, people should know that even the very worst hollywood movies have trailers that follow a very specific formula, one that doesn't just look like a random string of scenes. I have no doubt that this movie will probably suck, but I don't think it will suck that bad. Everything about that preview was shameful, to the point that even terrible B movies make the production values look glaringly bad.
posted by The God Complex at 10:03 AM on August 11, 2004
If this is a trailer for Alone in The Dark, where is the part that has the lead character continuously running into the walls, or when he tries and fails to walk up some stairs?
posted by fullerine at 10:44 AM on August 11, 2004
posted by fullerine at 10:44 AM on August 11, 2004
Wow, those guys sure hate wooden crates!
posted by gottabefunky at 11:35 AM on August 11, 2004
posted by gottabefunky at 11:35 AM on August 11, 2004
I think you guys have all been had...
Check out the official site: http://www.alone-in-the-dark.com
and the REAL trailer http://www.alone-in-the-dark.com/trailer/promo_large.htm
I kinda think the other trailer was a joke... or a marketing scheme
posted by diVersify at 11:39 AM on August 11, 2004
Check out the official site: http://www.alone-in-the-dark.com
and the REAL trailer http://www.alone-in-the-dark.com/trailer/promo_large.htm
I kinda think the other trailer was a joke... or a marketing scheme
posted by diVersify at 11:39 AM on August 11, 2004
You realize that having released 17000 MeFi users on the site, we've now made it look like the movie is going to be popular?
We have sinned.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:47 AM on August 11, 2004
We have sinned.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:47 AM on August 11, 2004
I was just about to post that, diVersify. However, the other trailer wasn't a joke, just early in the production. The teaser trailer on this page contains the begriming of it, and the splash at the end of the new trailer matches the site of the first trailer, if that makes any sense.
Still looks pretty bad, just not as bad.
posted by Miss Beth at 11:50 AM on August 11, 2004
Still looks pretty bad, just not as bad.
posted by Miss Beth at 11:50 AM on August 11, 2004
Christian Slater, Tara Reid, and Stephen Dorff are all notorious Hollywood assholes.
A word to aspiring actors- what goes around, comes around.
posted by mkultra at 12:54 PM on August 11, 2004
A word to aspiring actors- what goes around, comes around.
posted by mkultra at 12:54 PM on August 11, 2004
I'm still waiting for a movie adaptation of Dig Dug, starring Jackie Chan as Dig Dug!
posted by AccordionGuy at 12:59 PM on August 11, 2004
posted by AccordionGuy at 12:59 PM on August 11, 2004
diVersify, that trailer sucks too. Not as bad but pretty bad. I still have no idea about the premise, plot, characters, or time/location.
AccodionGuy, wouldn't Jet Li be a better Dig Dug? Jackie Chan's more a Frogger or Secret Agent type.
posted by dobbs at 2:20 PM on August 11, 2004
AccodionGuy, wouldn't Jet Li be a better Dig Dug? Jackie Chan's more a Frogger or Secret Agent type.
posted by dobbs at 2:20 PM on August 11, 2004
I'M TRYING TO KILL THIS THREAD BUT MY BULLETS ARE HAVING NO EFFECT
posted by holloway at 2:27 PM on August 11, 2004
That I make movies is not a result of VITAMIN B is is the result of my work and my dicipline and my talent.
- Uwe Boll, Director
Read his reply to the criticism here
posted by dodgygeezer at 2:53 PM on August 11, 2004
- Uwe Boll, Director
Read his reply to the criticism here
posted by dodgygeezer at 2:53 PM on August 11, 2004
On the other side of the spectrum, this may be one of the best trailers I've ever seen.
It's for "Ray", the Ray Charles story starring Jamie Foxx. I know, I know...I thought the same thing. Just watch the trailer. It's pretty damn good.
posted by ColdChef at 6:29 PM on August 11, 2004
It's for "Ray", the Ray Charles story starring Jamie Foxx. I know, I know...I thought the same thing. Just watch the trailer. It's pretty damn good.
posted by ColdChef at 6:29 PM on August 11, 2004
Chef, yeah, does look good but that Taylor Hackford credit scares me.
posted by dobbs at 12:34 AM on August 12, 2004
posted by dobbs at 12:34 AM on August 12, 2004
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posted by keswick at 5:25 PM on August 10, 2004