Classic Underage Misconceptions

September 1, 2004 10:55 AM

NSFW: Childhood misconceptions about sex. Both the male and female (linked as this post's title). I found them quite amusing. In a similar vein, we also have I Used to Believe, which I think has been MeFied previously.
posted by five fresh fish (18 comments total)

My primary misconception was that I'd get some occasionally. I know, the crazy things kids believe!
posted by Pretty_Generic at 11:17 AM on September 1, 2004

Also the link (at least the first one, haven't looked at the second) is pretty SFW, all text, and pretty innocuous text at that. Funny stuff.
posted by zeoslap at 11:20 AM on September 1, 2004

I'm with Pretty. I used to read Playboy's Lingerie Specials and assume that there would come a time in my life when I would automatically enjoy a weekly variety of women in ornate, wealthy settings. I think Captain Kirk may also have been an influence.
posted by inksyndicate at 11:44 AM on September 1, 2004

KHAAAAAAN!....
posted by Pretty_Generic at 11:48 AM on September 1, 2004

My friend and I were trying to figure out exactly what hand jobs were, since some of the boys had been tossing the term around. (I had visions of rubbing a guy's penis back and forth furiously between my hands, as if to start a fire.) An older, more experienced girl explained, "Well, it's kind of like getting that last bit of ketchup out of the bottle. It's the same kind of wrist movement." This was back when glass bottles were more popular than those squeeze ones. Even though I'm in my late 20s now, I still can't help but laugh when I see someone giving a hand job to a glass ketchup bottle in a restaurant.

Somehow, I can't get the image of the poor guy the first time this woman tried to whack a guy's member in order to get the "catsup" out!
posted by Pollomacho at 12:05 PM on September 1, 2004

I was totally going to post this today...
posted by Quartermass at 12:19 PM on September 1, 2004

I agree with zeoslap. It's pretty much all text, and pretty SFW.

There is, however, a distinct lack of cutesy acronyms.
posted by etoile at 12:33 PM on September 1, 2004

I had visions of rubbing a guy's penis back and forth furiously between my hands, as if to start a fire.

Um, yep. that's one way to do it!
posted by glenwood at 1:02 PM on September 1, 2004

You are such a dildo
posted by bob sarabia at 1:04 PM on September 1, 2004

Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait --



You can't shit out a baby?
posted by dhoyt at 1:08 PM on September 1, 2004

Some college students must still believe so. The funnyest graffito I ever saw in an on-campus toilet read:
"Here I am at the pooper
Giving birth to a State Trooper."
posted by wendell at 1:12 PM on September 1, 2004

I'm more confused after reading that than I was back when I thought girls didn't ever pee.
posted by sciurus at 1:23 PM on September 1, 2004

They can't?
posted by cinematique at 1:30 PM on September 1, 2004

I was about 10 or 11 when we visited my Aunt Edie. I'd already had "the talk," and I had a fairly good idea of what "adult" meant. Adult movies. Adult videos. Adult magazines. I was told that my Aunt Edie now lived in an "adult community." Now, my aunt was a good 80 years old by this point, and I'd met her wrinkly ass at a few family gatherings, so when we got to the (clearly labeled) adult community, I got really creeped out. I asked my parents if they were really supposed to bring a kid in here, and upon more questioning explained my reasoning. After laughing so hard my dad had to stop the car, they cleared everything up.

Heh. Oh, the change to the internet if adult websites were simply adult websites.
posted by onlyconnect at 5:59 PM on September 1, 2004

I thought girls had penises until I discover the pr0n.
posted by drezdn at 7:27 PM on September 1, 2004

Also, my brother had told me that the people in a music video were having oral sex (they were rolling around on a bed with clothes on), so, until someone set my straight in highschool gym class, I thought oral sex was sex with your clothes on.
posted by drezdn at 7:28 PM on September 1, 2004

"...so you just pee into her?" -lil' hoborg

I guess I understood the important part...
posted by hoborg at 2:08 PM on September 2, 2004

I thought girls had penises until I discover the pr0n.
You and Henry Darger.
posted by sonofsamiam at 2:59 PM on September 2, 2004