researched by a #mefi - (waiting for his account) mefite

October 4, 2004 3:36 PM

I was born in NY in the late 60's, and moved to PA in 1985. I'm a Christian, a Klingon, a vegetarian, and a real nice guy with a firm and conservative moral standing.


posted by me for dnab from #mefi
posted by kamylyon (28 comments total)

I will never understand the whole Klingon thing.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 3:52 PM on October 4, 2004

I am reasonably sure you cannot be a klingon and a christian, and a vegetarian. As the klingons killed all their gods, and they eat live gak.
posted by MrLint at 4:11 PM on October 4, 2004

"I will never understand the whole Klingon thing."

... I'm 6'0" , 252lbs. , and am blessed with an I.Q. of 137. I don't smoke or drink, and I have NEVER even TRIED drugs. I went to college for a few years, but I wasn't able to finish my degree. I have a good job that pays well, but I always wanted to be a teacher. I'm a member of several Klingon organizations. I'm currently single, thou I hope to cure this curse someday...

All you need to know in a nutshell...
posted by ubi at 4:15 PM on October 4, 2004

Guess he's a southern klingon.
posted by angry modem at 4:18 PM on October 4, 2004

Yeah, that's right, all laugh at the poor pathetic geek.

No, I mean it. Have a good laugh.
posted by Jimbob at 4:30 PM on October 4, 2004

I have NEVER even TRIED drugs

And thus he made a strong case for narcotics use.
posted by clevershark at 4:35 PM on October 4, 2004

AHA... whew.... Ok, I'm done now. Back to work. Ooh, my face hurts, thou I think it was worth it.
posted by ubi at 4:36 PM on October 4, 2004

Qaplah!
posted by ZachsMind at 4:39 PM on October 4, 2004

This is reason 187,983 why the internet should be destroyed.
posted by elwoodwiles at 4:40 PM on October 4, 2004

Geshundheit!
posted by ubi at 4:40 PM on October 4, 2004

Ever since the SW Kid, geeks have to work much harder to get my laugh. I didn't even crack a smile at this one.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 4:41 PM on October 4, 2004

I don't understand the point of the FPP. (It is actually also a double post, but that's another story.)
posted by eustacescrubb at 5:36 PM on October 4, 2004

[script language="JavaScript" src="http://webpdp.gator.com/4/placement/431/][/script]

Note that the bandwidth exceeded page (on the "Klingon" link) installs Gator. Fsckers.
posted by swell at 5:52 PM on October 4, 2004

(It is actually also a double post, but that's another story.)

It wasn't a Front Page Post, merely a link in one of the comments, therefore making it NOT a double post, if I recall the numerous meta-callouts concerning double posting.
posted by kamylyon at 5:57 PM on October 4, 2004

I still don't get the point of it though.
posted by eustacescrubb at 6:09 PM on October 4, 2004

kamylyon, I think what everyone's trying to say is DOES HE SUPPORT BUSH OR KERRY?

'cause that's all that really matters.

And fish.

In pants.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:33 PM on October 4, 2004

This strong moral stance makes me think the Klingon remark is only a gaff; however, Klingon's are notorious for being devout followers (like Christians) and very stubborn (like vegans- What do you mean fish is not a meat?). I predict this person will do well for the Empire patroling the Forbidden Zone.
posted by xtian at 6:41 PM on October 4, 2004

I never claimed to get the point, I just posted for a buddy that can't because he has no spoon. I mean, account.
posted by kamylyon at 7:31 PM on October 4, 2004

Get this dnab guy an account. IMMEDIATELY!!!
posted by Kwantsar at 7:37 PM on October 4, 2004

I think that we are entitled--nay, obliged--to laugh at people who think they are Klingons.

And when people think they are Klingons AND Christians at the same time, for the reasons adumbrated above by MrLint, it's comedy gold.

Because, you see, it's both crazy AND illogical.
posted by Sidhedevil at 7:41 PM on October 4, 2004

Also, people who brag about their IQs are funny. Except for Marilyn vos Savant--she's just scary.
posted by Sidhedevil at 7:42 PM on October 4, 2004

Let the quest for Klingon links proceed!
posted by mwhybark at 8:28 PM on October 4, 2004

I've long believed that the self-defined NeoCon "Vulcans" are really Klingons, but that's just me.
posted by wendell at 8:31 PM on October 4, 2004

elwoodwiles, that's actually reason number two or three. Probably happened shortly after December 5th, 1969.

"Our form of foreplay is hazardous to your species."

Is he also a furry?

I eagerly await teh 0berdork. They'll be some sort of hopped-up pagan Renn Faire 0wning, superfurry LARPing Jedi-Lingon, militant Jainist Christian Neo-Nazi vegan-straight-edged crush-fetished slashfic Rocky Horror muthafucka.

That link will one day come. And when it does, heads the world over will explode.

MetafilterFilter: Dorks inside.
posted by loquacious at 1:55 AM on October 5, 2004

"That link will one day come. And when it does, heads the world over will explode."

Especially when said Oberdork posts a protest in the subsequent thread and turns out to have a two digit mefi membership number.
posted by thatwhichfalls at 2:00 AM on October 5, 2004

I have NEVER even TRIED drugs.

Never tried the waste product of yeast? Doesn't drink Soda, coffee, tea - what with that evil caffeine. Or how about the sugared beans of the theheobroma cacao plant?

Not even acetylsalicylic acid?

Pitty the man for he has not found the wonders of drugs!
posted by rough ashlar at 6:49 AM on October 5, 2004

Don't Klingons - if deprived of meat - break down into pools of gelatinous goo or grow huge flabby teats, or something ?
posted by troutfishing at 11:46 AM on October 5, 2004

they eat live gak

<geek>
Actually, MrLint, Klingons eat live gagh. They're little wormies. Gak, on the other hand, was a "compound product" by the people who created the kiddie channel Nickelodeon. I'm pretty sure it's inedible.
</geek>
posted by etoile at 4:41 PM on October 6, 2004