Have you accepted Jesus Yet ?!?

December 7, 2004 5:48 PM

Why hast thou forsaken me !?... Every once and a while I ponder why i don't believe in religion... then something like this comes along and reminds me exactly why.
posted by meowchow (35 comments total)

i think it was this that did it for me...

tho that baby's head is pretty creepy, it's got nothing on a reindeer used as a menorah.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:54 PM on December 7, 2004

uh, that's landover baptist, a well-known parody. plus it's a many-times-over-post.

from one noob to another, do a bit more checking next time.

also, front page? come on.
posted by Hat Maui at 5:54 PM on December 7, 2004

Links gone dead...
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 5:55 PM on December 7, 2004 [1 favorite]

As if there isn't a host of atheist crap out there. Blame the believers who lack any semblance of evangelical finesse -- not the ideology.

...It is pretty funny, though.
posted by Lisa S at 5:57 PM on December 7, 2004

oh dear jebus that's creepy
posted by cheaily at 6:00 PM on December 7, 2004

The link so nice you used it twice?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:00 PM on December 7, 2004

What does this site look like to you? Fark?
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 6:01 PM on December 7, 2004

So, Objective:Christian Ministries is satire as well? Landover Baptists, sure, it pings my satire range, but I can't get a read on O:CM. Anyone?
posted by PurplePorpoise at 6:01 PM on December 7, 2004

lousy FPP's make the baby jesus cry.
posted by photoslob at 6:02 PM on December 7, 2004

yo, that chrismahanukwanzakah had me fooled. As I watched, I thought it was supposed to be IRONIC -- like some sort of parody statement against the commercialization of religion.

Then I realized it was made by VIRGIN MOBILE. Holy shiznits
posted by agnok47 at 6:04 PM on December 7, 2004

O:CM is run by the same people who run Landover Baptist.
posted by eustacescrubb at 6:04 PM on December 7, 2004

Are you intentionally trolling? You don't "believe in religion"?
posted by mek at 6:04 PM on December 7, 2004

baby jesus makes a noise like a wookie if you poke it in the eye!
posted by cheaily at 6:05 PM on December 7, 2004

And didn't we tell you that repeating your only link multiple times does not make it look like a better FPP?
posted by mek at 6:06 PM on December 7, 2004

Let's see, it rewards and punishes without consistensy, warning, or logic, and you can displease him with the merest action, even if that selfsame action pleased him a moment ago...

Yup, just like the real Christian God!
posted by ticopelp at 6:07 PM on December 7, 2004

Ah, thanks eustacescrubb. The link about a Kirk Cameron interview threw me off.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 6:09 PM on December 7, 2004

The Baby Jesus oven mitt really brings my kitchen together.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 6:11 PM on December 7, 2004

here's mor(e)on the "dispute" between landover baptist and objective ministries:click

but check out their site a bit, especially the "zounds" christian rock ministry, and then reconsider whether your parody sense is tingling.
posted by Hat Maui at 6:11 PM on December 7, 2004

baby jesus anti-fornication thong
posted by Dick Paris at 6:21 PM on December 7, 2004

Definitely a parody. BoingBoing had the link earlier today and many folks pointed out that the site was an extremely well presented fake. A bit of Googling also made me come to the same conclusion.

The Flash Jesus face is still creepy, tho.
posted by hrbrmstr at 6:21 PM on December 7, 2004

You don't "believe in religion"?

PAGING SKALLAS TO THREAD #37597! STAT!
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 6:21 PM on December 7, 2004

I thought that baby Jesus head was going to bite me, like the monkey does when you poke it enough. Instead, it just asked me 'why?' a few times. And hey, the baby jesus forgives pretty quickly. Until I poke him some more.

That virgin mobile thing is pretty good. I hope they're working on a jingle for the rapture, as well...

nice post for the first night of the festival of lights.
posted by Busithoth at 6:22 PM on December 7, 2004

I can appreciate the Baby Jesus Anti-Fornication Thong, but I'd like to know where the pro-fornication selection is...
posted by pompomtom at 6:24 PM on December 7, 2004

I hadn't seen this before. The sound effect was the most, um, remarkable thing about it. Damn near jumped out of my pants.
posted by orange swan at 6:26 PM on December 7, 2004

How can you not believe in religion? It exists. There are many of them.
posted by flarbuse at 6:28 PM on December 7, 2004

This particular baby Jesus looks like Lurch.
posted by RemusLupin at 6:49 PM on December 7, 2004

am i the only one getting web1000.com when i click the link?

anyway, did ya hear the one about Bush and a Reverend walking into a bar to spend the Rev's tax rebate?
posted by danOstuporStar at 7:33 PM on December 7, 2004

am i the only one getting web1000.com when i click the link?

*sprays anti-viral Lysol® all over danOstuporStar's browser*
posted by quonsar at 8:06 PM on December 7, 2004

You know what turned me off of organized religion?
1) the total lack of organization
B) the hypocrisy
z) the demands for MY hard earned money to send to some mysterious mission in Uganda (Botswana, wherever)

There are a lot of other reasons too, but I have yet to see any return. I want a religion that gives me a return in the here-and-now, not after I'm dead.

One based on sex and philosophy would be good.
posted by kamylyon at 8:17 PM on December 7, 2004

What does this site look like to you? Fark?
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 9:01 PM EST on December 7


amen, i have resisted the urge to say something, but dear god what has happened to metafilter. I want a firefox plugin that filters out users 17600 and higher.

/not claiming to be the best mefi member
//just feel that my mefi has gone down hill with a rush of my
//first fpp's that suck
posted by sourbrew at 8:52 PM on December 7, 2004

sourbrew -- Please please please don't think we're all insistent on transporting Fark to Metafilter. I've been lurking here for years, waiting, learning how things get done here. I tried, really hard to make a good first FPP (even got a first reply of "good post" so that warmed my belly). :)

No offense, meowchow, really. But I'll go to boingboing or waxy (never again Fark!) for my bizarre intarweb cultural icons. I can't tell you the number of new, interesting, and thought-provoking things I've learned on MetaFilter, whether from the FPPs or from the comments thereunder, and that's saying something on the internets.

Is that elitist?
posted by socratic at 9:37 PM on December 7, 2004

Every once in a while I wonder why I don't believe in science...then something like this comes along and reminds me exactly why.
posted by straight at 9:45 PM on December 7, 2004

What is the "baby" Jesus thing about anyway? It reminds me of the story of the so-called tour guide who pointed to a skull in a museum and explained it was that of Alexander the Great. When asked whose the small skull next to it was, he replied, "That was the skull of Alexander the Great when he was a little boy."
posted by aeschenkarnos at 11:19 PM on December 7, 2004

I think Landover is hilarious. I like their crusade against tampons and have the sound files about "Cathylicks" saved on my computer and harass my Cathylick in laws with them. "The Cathylicks... are Mary worshippers. They are of the devil. They's goin to heyell and they ain't gonna take me or none of mine.... with'em!!!"
Yes, the objective Jesus pastor qualifies for a tin-foil hat. Laugh a little, dude! (Funny that he links to the site... it's like banning a record... all the more publicity.)
I do think the WWJD thong is a bit over-the-top.
Unfortunately, the parody of some Baptist churches I've attended are right on.
posted by dancingbaptist at 2:15 AM on December 8, 2004

when it comes to religion, I'll believe it when I see it!
posted by mcsweetie at 7:16 AM on December 8, 2004