Foxy Felons

February 15, 2005 7:57 AM

Fellas, did you spend Valentine's Day home alone? No special girl in your life? The Smoking Gun wants to help. Meet the Foxy Felons.
posted by FlamingBore (31 comments total)

Uh, I'd hit it?
posted by eas98 at 8:13 AM on February 15, 2005

Yeah, and then she'd take your car and your drugs.
posted by brheavy at 8:24 AM on February 15, 2005

So how come almost all of them are from Florida? Don't other states have foxy felons?
posted by c13 at 8:29 AM on February 15, 2005

So how come almost all of them are from Florida?

Actually, the Attractive Female Felon is the Florida State Bird.
posted by jonmc at 8:33 AM on February 15, 2005

I'm wary of going to bed with crooks,
And although this sounds excessively fickle,
I don't wish to be swayed by looks,
And wake up with only one testicle.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:39 AM on February 15, 2005

Man. I used to think the Smoking Gun came up with some cool dirt on relevant stories and people. Then they got into the business of celebrity mugshots / arrest warrants / divorce filings / miscellaneous embarassing docs. This is a new low. What's next? Upskirts of supreme court justices? (or would that be "uprobes?)

Good post, FlamingBore, it just took away the last shred of interest I thought I had in TSG.
posted by scarabic at 8:41 AM on February 15, 2005

Yep, fun is bad...
posted by c13 at 8:55 AM on February 15, 2005

Does anyone suspect that had these people been young, black men that they would not have been given just two years probation for marijuara possession, manufacturing, and delivery (for example)?
posted by chasing at 8:58 AM on February 15, 2005

Foxy? I think not. With the possible exception of Ms. Kelly Pennington from Montgomery, Alabama, if this is foxy then I demand that the standards by which foxiness is measured be increased in all such situations.
posted by jimmythefish at 9:06 AM on February 15, 2005

jimmythefish, you're the arbiter of all things foxy because you are physically perfect yourself, I assume?
posted by jonmc at 9:07 AM on February 15, 2005

Number 1: Cheri Dawn Brown.
That is an extremely irritating name. "Dawn Brown" - I just can't make my mouth get used to pronouncing that.
posted by brheavy at 9:14 AM on February 15, 2005

'Foxy' is one of my favorite words in the entire language, and it has just been slightly tarnished.
posted by Wolfdog at 9:16 AM on February 15, 2005

jimmythefish, you're the arbiter of all things foxy because you are physically perfect yourself, I assume?

jonmc, you're the arbiter of morality because you're a self-righteous dickhead?
posted by jimmythefish at 9:29 AM on February 15, 2005

Thinking just the same thing, Chasing. Interesting, albeit predictable that all of the serious crimes here are accompanied by incredibly light sentences.
posted by Simon! at 9:30 AM on February 15, 2005

Complete with suggestive names...
posted by gottabefunky at 9:37 AM on February 15, 2005

What do you all expect, a death sentence? They are probably 1st time offenders. Casey Hicks, for example, got 4 years in a slammer.
posted by c13 at 9:41 AM on February 15, 2005

*blows kisses at jimmythefish*
posted by jonmc at 9:42 AM on February 15, 2005

Funny that fully half these girls were convicted of the victimless crime of possessing controlled substances.

But not to worry: Robert S. McNamara just announced that there's light at the end of drug war tunnel.
posted by orthogonality at 9:42 AM on February 15, 2005

Drunk driving, pot procession and car theft. Oh my! Hope Gitmo has enough room.
posted by c13 at 9:43 AM on February 15, 2005

*blows kisses at jimmythefish*

aw. instert cute internet hug icon >here<.
posted by jimmythefish at 9:46 AM on February 15, 2005

Foxy? I think not. With the possible exception of Ms. Kelly Pennington from Montgomery, Alabama, if this is foxy then I demand that the standards by which foxiness is measured be increased in all such situations.

Jimmy, be gentle; remember, these are mug shots, not glam photos. I'm sure most of them would clean up well.
posted by rkent at 9:52 AM on February 15, 2005

Scarabic, TSG looks pretty much the same to me since I started reading in in late 1998. Maybe since they became affiliated with Court TV, they've acquired that weird C.O.P.s edge. Dunno. I still like it.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 10:15 AM on February 15, 2005

tharlan this african-american youth got probation for stealing a car. Did you even look through all of these?

jimmythefish: kelly from alabama is definetly not foxy in my book. Her head is to small.

Sigh:

Cheri Dawn Brown Hot. And any chick who steals cars is probably a freak in bed.

Karri Ance. She's got a nice face, and obviously she's got good connections.

Shakia Brandice. Hot.
posted by delmoi at 10:41 AM on February 15, 2005

And any chick who steals cars is probably a freak in bed.

I honestly don't know how you'd draw that conclusion.
posted by Dark Messiah at 11:11 AM on February 15, 2005

yeah, why? I'm curious too
posted by matteo at 11:14 AM on February 15, 2005

And any chick who steals cars is probably a freak in bed.

I honestly don't know how you'd draw that conclusion.

Hot wiring, alarm systems. They require nimble fingers and a delicate touch. See where I'm goin? hah? Hah?
posted by jonmc at 1:49 PM on February 15, 2005

And any chick who steals cars is probably a freak in bed.

I honestly don't know how you'd draw that conclusion.

Clerk! Bring forth the expert witness for the defense ... The Dead Milkmen

We got into her car away we started rollin'
I said how much you pay for this
Said "Nothin man, it's stolen!"

Punk rock girl
You look so wild
Punk rock girl
Let's have a child
We'll name her Minnie Pearl
Just you and me
Eat fudge banana swirl
Just you and me
We'll travel round the world
Just you and me
Punk rock girl

The defense rests.
posted by kcds at 2:02 PM on February 15, 2005

I'll put my babe money on Lori Katherine Bedgood. Why are you guys looking for car theives when they're already labelled? And she's 4'11"/80 lb. Coke is definitely not good for you. Kelly Pennington is foxy. The rest, eh. We should set up something like this for mefi members. Mefi Mugshot Hot or Not... granted, it would be lots more fun and hot with massive amounts of cocaine involved, but I suppose that's up to individual users.
posted by saysthis at 3:29 PM on February 15, 2005

There's only one problem. When you bring out the handcuffs, they're so outta there.
posted by Vidiot at 4:12 PM on February 15, 2005

Uh, thanks. jailbabes.com is gone, this helps a lot.
posted by nj_subgenius at 6:56 PM on February 15, 2005

There's always Meet an Inmate.
posted by SisterHavana at 9:17 PM on February 15, 2005