You damned dirty ape!

February 18, 2005 10:15 AM

If you're going to work with Koko the Gorilla, the famous talking ape, you've got to know more than sign language. Allegedly, Dr. Penny Patterson insists you've also gotta show your boobs... who knew?
posted by miss lynnster (36 comments total)

"Koko: that chimp's alright; high five!"
posted by AlexReynolds at 10:20 AM on February 18, 2005

OK, you got me. I'm speechless.
posted by trondant at 10:26 AM on February 18, 2005

I smell a new reality show out of this...

"Koko's Apprentice".

Show the gorilla your boobs or you're fired.
posted by BobFrapples at 10:28 AM on February 18, 2005

You know, my favorite part is that all four of them-- the two fired employees, their boss who demanded the nipple show and the gorilla are female.

Most. Bizarre. Harassment. Ever.

Three-month employee Alperin, 47, has returned to social work and is seeking $719,830 in damages. Four-month employee Keller, 48, a longtime sign language interpreter, is asking for $366,192.

Uh, for seven months combined service between the two, do they actually think over $1m (between 'em) is reasonable?
posted by mcgraw at 10:29 AM on February 18, 2005

Geez whiz. What a weird thing.
posted by agregoli at 10:29 AM on February 18, 2005

Sounds like Penny Patterson spends her vacations muffdiving around the coral reefs of Lesbos Island if you catch what I'm...if you see what I'm...you know...if you're understanding me.


f_m: that link was depressing on all levels
posted by dhoyt at 10:30 AM on February 18, 2005

If this is what gorillas want, then it makes me fear for anyone working with the always uber-horny dolphins!
posted by jearbear at 10:34 AM on February 18, 2005

So, does Koko throw you beads when you do?
posted by mkultra at 10:36 AM on February 18, 2005

Fascinating. I can't decide whether to cry or laugh. Except at this quote, where the choice is easy:

"There's a history with this nipple thing," he said, leafing through the transcript and pointing out the word "nipple" -- which he'd highlighted in pink -- each time it appeared.
posted by soyjoy at 10:41 AM on February 18, 2005

I was watching a show on PBS the other night about a famous orangutan king that lives somewhere in a jungle. It showed clips of orangutan females acting submissive in front of him; they would pick things out of his hair, then lay on the ground in front of him and spread their legs. IMMEDIATELY after this clip, the show went into an interview with Julia Roberts, in which she said she really wanted to meet the orangutan.

I couldn't decide if the juxtaposition was intentional or not. Either way, it was hilarious.
posted by painquale at 10:42 AM on February 18, 2005

Heheheheh. What a weird story.
posted by delmoi at 10:45 AM on February 18, 2005

What? Can't a gorilla wonder if we have nipples hidden under our clothes or if we're nipple-less (nippless?) freaks? Koko's not perverse, she just finds nipples ... calming.

Metafilter: You need to see new nipples. I will turn my back so Kendra can show you her nipples.

Metafilter: You I need to see new nipples. I will turn my Will you turn your back so Kendra can show you me her nipples?
posted by Shane at 10:55 AM on February 18, 2005

This is a great page: Index of Famous Monkeys
posted by chaz at 11:22 AM on February 18, 2005

So what's the sign for "Show me your boobies?"
posted by srboisvert at 11:23 AM on February 18, 2005

This is the strangest damn thing.
posted by dejah420 at 11:52 AM on February 18, 2005

Thought that Cal/OSHA spokesman was Deep Fryer, and I suddenly thought "Nice that they have a fridge for lunch and a place to make some wings."
posted by VulcanMike at 12:13 PM on February 18, 2005

srboisvert,

Thank you. Thank you.

And of course thank you to miss lynster for providing another source of smiles and laughter.
posted by X4ster at 12:19 PM on February 18, 2005

What a hack.
posted by sellout at 12:24 PM on February 18, 2005

So, does Koko throw you beads when you do?

You're the winner!
posted by AlexReynolds at 12:32 PM on February 18, 2005

Sign Language Interpreters Gone Wild!
posted by Coda at 1:13 PM on February 18, 2005

I'm remembering an anecdote about a scientist Koko didn't like. She supposedly would refer to said scientist by making the signs for "shit" and "scientist" together. Maybe shit-scientist refused to give Koko a peek.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:20 PM on February 18, 2005

Aw, man, Koko's just preppin' for Mardi Gras.
posted by graventy at 1:46 PM on February 18, 2005

The US freaked out when Janet Jackson almost showed her nipple.

These plaintiffs want a million bucks for what amounts to a dirty kitchen and nipples.

Yep, that gorilla's a freak for placing so much importance on nipples.

Has anyone considered that clothing might be really weird to a creature that doesn't wear clothes at all? Perhaps to a gorilla, a female wearing a shirt is tantamount to wearing a mask. Maybe gorillas think human females have a "shirt fetish."
posted by elderling at 1:47 PM on February 18, 2005

...talk about Friday Flash Fun!
posted by mcgraw at 1:56 PM on February 18, 2005

Where is the Smoking Gun when we really need it?
posted by thedevildancedlightly at 2:44 PM on February 18, 2005

This is nothing. The gay German penguins insisted I show them my weener.

At least, that's my story, your honor, and I'm sticking to it.
posted by kcds at 3:17 PM on February 18, 2005

Has anyone considered that clothing might be really weird to a creature that doesn't wear clothes at all?

Yeah, but hasn't Koko had decades to grow accustomed to this pretty consistent human trait?
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 3:20 PM on February 18, 2005

"So what's the sign for 'Show me your boobies?' "

I'm pretty sure you throw beads.
posted by Four Flavors at 4:17 PM on February 18, 2005

I'm probably the only MeFite who watches Monster Garage. If not, let me know. Anyway, there was an episode where Jesse James was visiting Koko and she was giving him many nipple twists. I think Koko has a breast fetish myself.
posted by fixedgear at 5:11 PM on February 18, 2005

Anyway, there was an episode where Jesse James was visiting Koko and she was giving him many nipple twists.

I never imagined I might actually read a sentence like that!

Metafilter: Giving him many nipple twists.
posted by eriko at 6:59 PM on February 18, 2005

I'm probably the only MeFite who watches Monster Garage.

you're not the only one
posted by drezdn at 11:53 PM on February 18, 2005

i watch monster garage, but i don't remember that episode...damn, looks like i missed a good one.
posted by joedan at 11:54 PM on February 18, 2005

Seems reminiscent of Captaintripps post on Carl Sagan's Dolphin experience (read down to Flooded House)

Peter began exhibiting courting behavior. He lightly nibbled Howe's legs, getting erections, and rubbing against her ardently. As a matter of expediency, Howe took to giving the dolphin hand jobs. Peter would "reach some sort of orgasm, mouth open, eyes closed, body shaking, then his penis would relax and withdraw." Dolphin libidos being what they are, this had to be repeated two or three times; then, finally, the dolphin could concentrate on its lessons.

If an ape has to pay half a mill to see a nipple, how much does it cost a dolphin for a wank?
posted by strawberryviagra at 5:03 AM on February 22, 2005

I'm glad those women were fired. Their frivolous lawsuit only proves that it was the right decision to fire them.
posted by VP_Admin at 1:32 AM on February 25, 2005

Although Koko was confined to a wire cage, her behavior was suggestive to the point that Rivera didn't want to wait around and find out what might come next, Adams said.
posted by rdr at 8:02 AM on February 26, 2005

Wow, sexual harrassment is fine with you then, VP_Admin? How lovely.
posted by agregoli at 10:33 AM on February 28, 2005