e-chair? L-inject? Hang? Draw & quarter?

March 19, 2005 4:55 PM

3 year old Savanna's body has been found. Her mother confessed to planning to bury the body.
posted by Jim Jones (60 comments total)

why do you post this, without any deeper knowledge ?
are you fond of dead kids ?
if not, do you have any thoughts on this case ?

what are you trying to say ?
posted by Substrata at 5:08 PM on March 19, 2005

UM, is it just Berek, or has anyone else noticed the precipitous decline of the FPP's? I mean, look at 'em, single link posts, gag sites better suited to Cruel.com, and now sleazy tabloid news stories aimed at the mouth breathing inbred trailer park crowd. Please, people, post this rubbish elsewhere!
posted by berek at 5:08 PM on March 19, 2005

My wife has worked for child-protective agencies in two different cities (in two different countries) and there seems to be a regular cycle that goes something like this:

There's a big news story about how the child-protective agency dropped the ball and a child was killed or severely injured. The agency is ripped apart in the media. There are inquiries and investigations. Procedures are changed and maybe even legislation. Now the agency will be more pro-active.

About two years later . . .

There's a big news story about how the child-protective agency wrecked a family by taking the kids away unnecessarily. There are inquiries and investigations. Procedures are changed and maybe even legislation. Now the agency will be less aggressive.

That's not to say that there is not lasting improvement each time (or at other times). But the radical swings in the perspective of the media and the politicians get pretty frustrating.
posted by winston at 5:14 PM on March 19, 2005

Maybe he is from the future at 13189 was an awesome year?
posted by TwelveTwo at 5:15 PM on March 19, 2005

Alternatively, from the past and 13189 BCE was an awesome year.
posted by TwelveTwo at 5:15 PM on March 19, 2005

Why do you hate America Holland?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:17 PM on March 19, 2005

Matt partied too hearty at SXSW last night, and the NewsFilterers have come out to play.

But this will be remebered as a "tribute" to the recently-deleted 40553. And thusly a BizarroNewsFilter.

But, by the time I finish typing this, it'll probably be deletimated.
posted by wendell at 5:18 PM on March 19, 2005

My own theory: Jim Jones was going for a repeat.
posted by koeselitz at 5:21 PM on March 19, 2005

Why do you hate America Holland?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane

bleh...

let's hear/read "Jim Jones"
my god, you are tiresome at times....
posted by Substrata at 5:22 PM on March 19, 2005

posted by Wolfdog at 5:23 PM on March 19, 2005

Gads it seems this place is turning into tabloids, Next: on Mefi... Pix of Jacko's erections and Martha's ankle chaffings Sold on Ebay.
Come on duuds we can do bettwr than this. Here Something More important! Frankly ANYTHING is better than this crap post... Are we turning into E! or Fox News here?
posted by Elim at 5:24 PM on March 19, 2005

Oh, I get it:

tribute to 13189

...and I got it before the buzzer sounded! What do I win?
posted by koeselitz at 5:26 PM on March 19, 2005

Wait, now that I understand, it seems pretty harmless, and kind of funny. Still not good on the front page, though-- better in meta.
posted by koeselitz at 5:27 PM on March 19, 2005

There is nothing wrong with single link posts.
posted by iconomy at 5:27 PM on March 19, 2005

koeselitz: A disinterested shrug.
posted by TwelveTwo at 5:28 PM on March 19, 2005

I'll post here to watch my posting count increase only to have it drop upon deletion. It is my lot in life to be deleted.
posted by darkmatter at 5:29 PM on March 19, 2005

.

Try again. Or don't.
posted by stet at 5:30 PM on March 19, 2005

There is nothing wrong with single link posts.
posted by iconomy

that's not the issue here.
posted by Substrata at 5:31 PM on March 19, 2005

stet: check the tags. it's a joke, buddy.

and a good one at that. we could all stand to loosen up a bit, eh?
posted by koeselitz at 5:32 PM on March 19, 2005

Yes, this is another interesting JJ performance piece.

The relevant clue is in his MeTa comment referring to this thread: a tribute to different.

In this case, different is different, also known as user 13189 -- thus the tag. different told us that he lives in a small & insignificant western European country ... think cheese, clogs, windmills & tulips and I think you'd be on the right track.. Furthermore, this information came out after different opined that If I posted an FPP with a news item from my (relatively small & insignificant) western European country, I'm sure that there'd be total confusion from US mefites (and lo and behold, he was right). JJ offered to post a news item from his country.

Did I mention that different was drunk?

On preview, koeselitz beat me to it, although my answer is more thorough.
posted by casu marzu at 5:35 PM on March 19, 2005

the mouth breathing inbred trailer park crowd.

The what, berek?
posted by davy at 5:37 PM on March 19, 2005

Um, sorry, I'm not drunk, I'm not a "he", and I take absolutely no responsibility for any of this. I didn't post it myself, nor did I encourage anybody else to do it.
posted by different at 5:53 PM on March 19, 2005

way to go, jim jones. way to go.
posted by puke & cry at 5:56 PM on March 19, 2005

Jim Jones can you think of any reason I shouldn't post this to the front page?

Jonathan Alexander Day was found dead by members of the RCMP's emergency response team who entered the cabin on the northwestern shore of Mabel Lake at about 6 a.m. Thursday. It has not yet been determined if Day shot himself or was killed during an exchange with police.

Thank god most MeFi members have enough intelligence to realize that their crappy news items aren't worth global attention.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:57 PM on March 19, 2005

davy, he was just making a berek of himself.

Actually, I think he's trying to be funny. People who perpetually refer to themselves in the third person are always funny, even when they aren't trying. Especially when they aren't trying.

On preview: sorry different, I misread your comment about having too much wine, and I didn't know you weren't a he. Also, I think it's clear that JJ did this all on his own.
posted by casu marzu at 5:58 PM on March 19, 2005

There is nothing wrong with single link posts.
posted by iconomy at 8:27 PM EST on March 19

Good thing this isn't a single link post.

On preview: FFF, Are you saying I lack intelligence? I would be insulted but I'm too busy laughing.
posted by Jim Jones at 5:59 PM on March 19, 2005

did you know Antonin Scalia has nine kids?
posted by delmoi at 6:00 PM on March 19, 2005

Fair enough, casu marzu. I'm glad that it's clear that JJ did it on his own. I certainly wasn't meaning to suggest that anyone should post a Dutch news item to the front page (I mean, WTF??) I just wanted to make the point that US local news items don't mean that much to me. I didn't think that the point needed to be demonstrated.

On preview: JJ, not that your sadcase post deserves comment, but your "double link post" includes an item in Dutch, without translation, which isn't what you described it as. You obviously can't read Dutch - so why on earth post it? Very amusing, I'm sure.

I'm outta this thread.
posted by different at 6:05 PM on March 19, 2005

There are many good reasons to post links on MetaFilter.

"Making a point" is not one of them.

Remember, Jimmy, FPP stands for "Front Page Post", not "Fucking Performance Piece".

Wendell no like.
posted by wendell at 6:08 PM on March 19, 2005

Brownie points to casu marzu and koeselitz and extra brownie points to winston.

Jim Jones can you think of any reason I shouldn't post this to the front page?

None at all. I heartily encourage you to do so.
posted by Jim Jones at 6:08 PM on March 19, 2005

The relevant clue is in his MeTa comment referring to this thread: a tribute to different.

In this case, different is different, also known as user 13189 -- thus the tag. different told us that he lives in a small & insignificant western European country ... think cheese, clogs, windmills & tulips and I think you'd be on the right track.. Furthermore, this information came out after different opined that If I posted an FPP with a news item from my (relatively small & insignificant) western European country, I'm sure that there'd be total confusion from US mefites (and lo and behold, he was right). JJ offered to post a news item from his country.

So in other words, not only is this thread going to be deleted, Jim Jones is going to get a ban for a while due to [...] all over the front page?

But yeah, I find making a joke out of a little girls tragic death a little calous. I'm sure there were many innofensive news stories about the Netherlands that could have been used.
posted by delmoi at 6:09 PM on March 19, 2005

Ah, I get it now. What I like best about this post is that whenever I want to find *all* tributes to 13189 say, five years from now, I can just use the tags. Aren't tags cool?

[this is dutch]

Be patient, dear different. We'll take over someday. The People's Temple will be long forgotten, but New Amsterdam will be ours once more!!1!one!uitroepteken!! <diabolical laughter>
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:10 PM on March 19, 2005

Actualy this story is pretty intresting. Aperantly a Dutch bussness man is on trial for genocide because he exported chemical weapons to Iraq.
posted by delmoi at 6:12 PM on March 19, 2005

On preview: JJ . . . your "double link post" includes an item in Dutch, without translation, which isn't what you described it as. You obviously can't read Dutch - so why on earth post it? Very amusing, I'm sure.

I'm outta this thread.
posted by different at 9:05 PM EST on March 19

Obviously, you can't read Dutch, either. I'm very disappointed in you, different. The link is to the original article because the expat site isn't the source of the story.

Man, I did this all for you. All for you. How can you 'diss me like this??!! WTF? You all but begged me to post this. Do you have any fucking idea how long it took me to find an appropriate post? Ungrateful wretch!
posted by Jim Jones at 6:15 PM on March 19, 2005

I thought the reason for selecting this particular story was obvious: it parallels the previous (deleted) FPP which set the entire thing in motion.
posted by casu marzu at 6:18 PM on March 19, 2005

delmoi, I wasn't being callous or offensive. That's your inaccurate interpretation.
posted by Jim Jones at 6:19 PM on March 19, 2005

different: "...your 'double link post'..."

*sings:*

There's a double dutch post comin' down the street
Movin pretty fast
So kinda shuffle your feet
Get on the bus and pay your fare
And tell the driver that you're
Goin' to a Double Dutch Affair
Fe Fi Fo Fum
Well I'll be darn here it comes
The Double Dutch post is on the street
You'd better get off the curb
Move your feet
posted by koeselitz at 6:20 PM on March 19, 2005

Once this post gets deleted and can only be read from lofi, I predict that lofi will go down again, thereby making a complete circle.
posted by casu marzu at 6:25 PM on March 19, 2005

Once this post gets deleted and can only be read from lofi, I predict that lofi will go down again, thereby making a complete circle.
posted by casu marzu at 9:25 PM EST on March 19

ROFLMAO. casu marzu, have you logged out, lately? Lofi never went back up.
posted by Jim Jones at 6:38 PM on March 19, 2005

Actually this story is pretty interesting. It's about a train wreck.

Just sayin'.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:39 PM on March 19, 2005

I found delmoi's description to be accurate. Jokes that need dead children to make them funny, aren't.
posted by reflecked at 6:40 PM on March 19, 2005

Okay, okay. I apologize for the post. I wasn't making fun of the incident and I'm sorry some of you felt the post was inappropriate. I'm as outraged as jfuller.
posted by Jim Jones at 6:52 PM on March 19, 2005

Boy, this place has gone downhill since...uh...all us new people arrived. Sometimes, just sometimes, I ask myself if I would give up my mefi account if it meant the other newbs who keep posting crap would also lose theirs. Talk about a dilemma.
posted by nightchrome at 7:13 PM on March 19, 2005

I think the jester needs a time-out.
posted by puke & cry at 7:14 PM on March 19, 2005

You're one of my favorites, Jim, and I get the point but statement posts are never a good thing.
posted by Arch Stanton at 7:22 PM on March 19, 2005

[this is good]

You know, I started out hating this post as I do all of Newsfilter, and even flagged it as noise, but I take it all back.

You've all been very, very bad, but this post is also fucking hilarious.
posted by mkultra at 7:34 PM on March 19, 2005

I think Jim Jones is jfuller. I say delete this post. This is Metafilter, not Newsfilter. This is not a news-clearing site. And another thing, those tags don't make sense. Googling for them doesn't come up with anything.
posted by timyang at 8:01 PM on March 19, 2005

posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 8:49 PM on March 19, 2005

Ooh, I've been to that windmill! And we were able to go out on the ledge surrounding it you see there. It was super cool. I have a bit of a thing for windmills though.

I also like cheese, clogs, and am crazy for tulips.

And even having read all the previous threads this one is referencing, I don't like this post. Pity.
posted by livii at 9:04 PM on March 19, 2005

This is all pretty funny and meta, but the quality problem is bad enough, you know? Most non communiy members wouldn't get it.
posted by abcde at 10:41 PM on March 19, 2005

Most non community members wouldn't get it.

well jim seems to have got it : )
posted by sgt.serenity at 12:50 AM on March 20, 2005

davy, he was just making a berek of himself.

HEE HEE HEE!!!!!!!!!!
Berek is a verb!
posted by berek at 12:57 AM on March 20, 2005

It's a noun. You can tell because it has "a" in front.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 2:34 AM on March 20, 2005

I tried to understand this post and the resulting comments and the past references and previous posts and everything.

I tried, but I just don't get it.

/head asplodes
posted by zardoz at 3:44 AM on March 20, 2005

Zardoz: Jfuller posted some total newsfilter (i.e. not interesting, but prominent in the U.S. media) about some kid who got killed. Some folks outside the US (for example, myself and Different) had no idea if there was some interesting background we were missing because we didn't live in the US and watch US news. It seems there was no particularly interesting background, though, and Jfuller's answer was, basically, "It's best of the web because it's news, and news is by far the best thing about the web". Different responded that the USians who were defending the post would probably find themselves on the other side of the fence if a similar post were made about some news from Different's country, Holland. Jim Jones went and found a very similar case from Holland and posted it to make the point.

A few key points:
- Yeah, it's a "making a point" post
- Yes, it had to be about a dead kid. If it were about something "inoffensive", as Delmoi advocated, or "interesting", as Delmoi and Goodnewsfortheinsane advocated, it wouldn't be a parody of Jfuller's post, and therefore would have no reason for existing.
- Different did not request the post, and does not support it.
- A lot of people don't know the above background (can't blame them), and are very confused and reading this as a straight newsfilter post, as opposed to a "making a point that newsfilter is bad" post.

Personally, I'm amused, but I think it's a bad thing, as it pollutes the front page. It's like seeing a really cool explosion at a fireworks factory where someone gets hurt...A mixed feeling of "That was good, but it would probably have been better if it didn't happen".
posted by Bugbread at 4:48 AM on March 20, 2005

*Waits for more fireworks*
posted by dabitch at 4:54 AM on March 20, 2005

I think the one problem with St. Patrick's Day is that more people don't pass out, choke on their own vomit, and die. I know, sure, lots of people do. But it's still only a tiny fraction. If it were closer to 20 or 30 percent, then it'd be a much more satisfying holiday. Same with Easter. Many more children should choke to death on hard-boiled eggs than currently do. If you add in the death by chocolate bunny statistic, the numbers look a little better. But still.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 7:03 AM on March 20, 2005

bugbread: "Yeah, it's a 'making a point' post..."

I think Jim Jones' previous posts in this thread, in addition to his posting history, show that this is most definitively not the case. This is a "making a funny" post. The "point" is designed to make the funny funnier.

Since we're overanalyzing everything, it's probably apt to point out how our friend Jim gives "brownie points" above to winston, who posted a serious reflection, being taken in by it. What's more, winston (may there be more like him) didn't flame, wasn't argumentative, and actually had an interesting thing to say. May there be more like him. Be that as it may, winston served Jim's purpose here: he made the joke funnier by taking it seriously.

But the joke's funny enough now. Let's all stop being so serious, shall we?

I don't harbor any ill will toward Jim. In fact, I thought this was great. I still stand by what I said above: this would've worked perfectly in meta.

And, furthermore, since this soap-box seems to be holding up pretty well, I'm going to take this opportunity to offer a suggestion. I think it'd be really great if this post could be moved to meta rather than deleted. It doesn't belong on the front page, but it's a really great in-joke between the rest of us.
posted by koeselitz at 7:35 AM on March 20, 2005

How is this not just making more work for Matt to delete this crap?
why not just post it in Meta first, so the joke won't be eliminated?
I'm all for alt.humor, and even agree with the point, but the end result is crud.
It's like calling a movie theater's manager from your seat to complain about a person next to you talking on their cell phone during the movie.
posted by Busithoth at 9:56 AM on March 20, 2005

Busithoth : " It's like calling a movie theater's manager from your seat to complain about a person next to you talking on their cell phone during the movie."

Ooh, nice analogy. Why can't I ever come up with good analogies like that?
posted by Bugbread at 10:04 AM on March 20, 2005