he swims with the fishes

April 1, 2005 11:30 AM

Blogger goes to a nyc chinatown fish market, buys a fish, and then sets the twenty pounder free. A photo essay. but the question is, will it live?
posted by tsarfan (63 comments total)

SPOILERS.



I smiled at the part where he pretends there is no fish. Then when I saw he was joking and there was a fish I went back to wishing the fish had broken free of it's restrictive sack, bitten him on the face and broken his emo specs.
posted by fire&wings at 11:43 AM on April 1, 2005

He should have kept his shirt on.
posted by smackfu at 11:50 AM on April 1, 2005

...will it live?

A freshwater fish from Kansas released into the East River or the Hudson (I can't tell which)?

Already dead.
posted by BobFrapples at 11:57 AM on April 1, 2005

Good god, would someone PLEASE explain to Mr. Sensitivity that there are these things called thumbnails?

Thank goodness I closed the window before I got to the shirtless pics. The one of him frowning by the tank was plenty enough to know I'd probably really dislike this guy in person.
posted by fenriq at 11:57 AM on April 1, 2005

Since he never told us the type of fish. Will a fresh water fish survive in the ocean.
posted by thomcatspike at 11:59 AM on April 1, 2005

who cares about the fish, that's a funny post, thanks

/sushi lover
posted by matteo at 12:05 PM on April 1, 2005

"Buffalo fish" is another name for the norhtern snakehead. What an asshole.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 12:06 PM on April 1, 2005

Wait, is this the Jake from Road Rules Season 4: The Islands? It totally looks like him.

It indeed looks like it is.
posted by emptybowl at 12:06 PM on April 1, 2005

the question is, will it live?
great, now I've got a mental image of Edward James Olmos dressed as a sombre fishmonger standing in the rain saying, "It's too bad it won't live. But then again, who does?"

I find it sometimes bemusing to see the sense of guilt that the live fish tank provokes in some Westerners when they go into Asian grocery stores. It's like they believe that the fillets and fish steaks that they see in regular supermarkets just pop into reality from some mythical Jack-In-A-Box-Of-Meat.
posted by bl1nk at 12:09 PM on April 1, 2005

Introducing foreign species into a new ecosystem. This guy's a freakin' genius. It's morons like this that will destroy the world.

I hope it died quickly and wasn't pregnant. And if it was a snakehead, he should be shot.
posted by Jupiter Jones at 12:12 PM on April 1, 2005

April fool!
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 12:13 PM on April 1, 2005

Yes, unfortunately buffalo fish are not going to destroy the earth anytime soon.

Those orange pants, however...
posted by mek at 12:18 PM on April 1, 2005

"Buffalo fish" is another name for the norhtern snakehead. What an asshole.

Oh my lord! Way to go, Mr. Wokka-Wokka UCB boy!
posted by MaxVonCretin at 12:20 PM on April 1, 2005

ZING! You got me, PinkStainless...
posted by MaxVonCretin at 12:22 PM on April 1, 2005

Died within a few minutes. No question. It would have lived a longer life at the Asian supermarket.

What a hero.
posted by sellout at 12:24 PM on April 1, 2005

I'm pretty sure it's just a big carp (think "less-pretty goldfish"). It might even live, assuming the water wasn't overly brackish and it could survive the shock. But it's still a ludicrous undertaking.
posted by Mayor Curley at 12:29 PM on April 1, 2005

It might survive the initial encounter, but odds are that its time in captivity weakened it enough that it wouldn't survive in the wild.

I hope this isn't a reflection of the current state of UCB students.
posted by mkultra at 12:31 PM on April 1, 2005

No one could really be this stupid. This has to be some kind of april fool's joke. Particularly cuz he's calling it a Buffalo Fish.
posted by spicynuts at 12:34 PM on April 1, 2005

i am very upset with this guy for caring about the fish.

very upset.

this is an outrage.
posted by lotsofno at 12:34 PM on April 1, 2005

Jake's really cute.
posted by iconomy at 12:46 PM on April 1, 2005

Yes, that's a carp, and you just can't kill a carp. Those carp are tough sons-of-bitches. As a side note, carp and their ilk are part of what get processed into fish filet sandwiches at fast food places.
posted by Eekacat at 12:54 PM on April 1, 2005

I'd hit it.
posted by thirteenkiller at 1:05 PM on April 1, 2005

DNRs all over the country are trying to keep carp out of their waterways, and this idiot's dropping one into the Hudson. Dumbass.
posted by me3dia at 1:16 PM on April 1, 2005

What a schmuck.
posted by fixedgear at 1:23 PM on April 1, 2005

Big hearts sometimes beget small brains. I'll take the big hearted person anyday.
posted by mic stand at 1:27 PM on April 1, 2005

it was a carp. it will live for a really long time. he saved the fish equivalent of a pigeon. there was a reason it had been in the market for a long time - nobody wanted it!
posted by turner13 at 1:30 PM on April 1, 2005

Terri could have used that fish...
posted by iamck at 1:34 PM on April 1, 2005

The East River (which is actually a salt water tidal estuary) can kill anything, even carp from Chinatown.
posted by Cranialtorque at 1:34 PM on April 1, 2005

This was the same guy who lost his wallet, put up a poster asking for it back and ....I think we should just be focusing our interests to something worthwhile.
posted by myopicman at 2:08 PM on April 1, 2005

Dude is totally adorable. The orange pants! The hipster glasses! The self-serving, poorly-thought-out-act-of-faux-sentimentality that potentially helps fuck up the ecosystem but will nevertheless get him laid by some sweet and slightly dimwitted half-assed vegetarian co-ed! And he works for FHM on top of everything! Awesome!
posted by scody at 2:15 PM on April 1, 2005

What stinks besides a fish?
carp and their ilk are part of what get processed into fish filet sandwiches at fast food places.
Pollock is more commonly used which is related to the Cod. Eating carp is expensive and you did not read the blog's post as your comment’s economics do not add.
posted by thomcatspike at 2:23 PM on April 1, 2005

Pollack
posted by thomcatspike at 2:24 PM on April 1, 2005

What scody said.
posted by dhoyt at 2:24 PM on April 1, 2005

Actually, thomcatspike, I did read the post. Buying carp in a store would be relatively expensive. I don't see Mcdonalds shopping in Chinatown for their fish filet sandwiches. Paying commercial fishermen to catch carp in a lake in the midwest, who in turn sell them to processing plants is cheap. Notice also my comment says "part of". These fast food chains will use whatever is cheap. Sometimes that happens to be carp.
posted by Eekacat at 3:09 PM on April 1, 2005

Wow, if that really was an Asian carp, then Mr. I-Release-Fish-On-A-Whim is not only stupid (and an asshole), he's in violation of New York law -- punishable by 15 days in jail, a $250 fine, or both. And he was so smug about getting karma points! Would this count as proper use of the word "irony"? Gee, I hope for his sake that no one in New York sees fit to report him to the appropriate authorities...

Extensive information on state and federal programs to combat damage from invasive species here.
posted by scody at 3:10 PM on April 1, 2005

It looks like fishboy just came out of jail with that orange prison jumpsuit he's wearing.
posted by euphorb at 3:52 PM on April 1, 2005

mkultra: I hope this isn't a reflection of the current state of UCB students.

WHAAAA?? Yeah, because we wouldn't want the graduates of the Upright Citizen's Brigade to act silly.
posted by billysumday at 3:59 PM on April 1, 2005

These fast food chains will use whatever is cheap. Sometimes that happens to be carp.
Paying commercial fishermen to catch carp in a lake in the midwest, who in turn sell them to processing plants is cheap.
Catfish maybe.
Do you have sources about your information?
You do know carps are bottom feeders.
posted by thomcatspike at 4:16 PM on April 1, 2005

I'd hit it.

the carp of the emo boy?
because if you're talking about the carp, fishfucker is going to be jealous
posted by matteo at 4:19 PM on April 1, 2005

carp and catfish are both bottom feeders, and at least where i come from (mid-atlantic state), both common and durable. Probably not saltwater durable. I am surprised to learn that cheap fish fillets contain carp. I've enjoyed many afternoons at the river catching and releasing one 10-15lb carp after another. (those suckers put up a fight like a goddam buffalo) But as densely populated as carp can be, they can't match, in terms of economic feasibility, those giant drift nets full of cod or pollack that boat after boat haul from the sea. I believe the carp sandwich story, but carp can't count for much of that fillet-o-fish. By the way, other yummy bottom feeders include lobster and grouper and king crab and prawns and...

and, wow, you guys really hate the guy who liberated the fish.
posted by firemouth at 5:38 PM on April 1, 2005

i Never knew you'd hate that guy so much.

classic.
posted by tsarfan at 5:41 PM on April 1, 2005

freaking hipster.
posted by killdevil at 6:16 PM on April 1, 2005

I just like a guy in what looks like a UC Berkeley shirt who can't spell aisles
posted by bitdamaged at 7:10 PM on April 1, 2005

Chinatown fish markets are a trip.

I was walking down Grand Street once, and an old Chinese woman was putting live crabs in a barrel outside her shop. Two crabs missed the barrel, and made a break for it, scuttling eagerly down the sidewalk. She scooped 'em up.

Sadly they scuttled west. If they had scuttled east, they just might've made the East River.

The moral of the story is that crustaceans have a poor sense of direction.
posted by jonmc at 7:40 PM on April 1, 2005

tsarfan : " i Never knew you'd hate that guy so much."

But you've been a MeFi member for over 3 years!
posted by Bugbread at 8:47 PM on April 1, 2005

mkultra: I hope this isn't a reflection of the current state of UCB students.

WHAAAA?? Yeah, because we wouldn't want the graduates of the Upright Citizen's Brigade to act silly.
posted by billysumday at 3:59 PM PST

and then...

bitdamagaed: I just like a guy in what looks like a UC Berkeley shirt who can't spell aisles

Is this the part where I go: (shakes head, wonder why I bother...) Because seriously, it's really obvious that he's wearing an Upright Citizen's Brigade sweatshirt.
posted by billysumday at 8:52 PM on April 1, 2005

What's the world coming to, when not everyone can recognize an abbreviation of an icon of pop culture?
posted by Bugbread at 9:03 PM on April 1, 2005

The only bottomfeeder in that blog post is the wannabee writer/hipster douchebag.
posted by mrblondemang at 10:02 PM on April 1, 2005

My bretheren over at PlanetSocks/Sucks have had plenty to say about ol' Mediawhore Jake over the years. You may have to be logged in to search for specific comments, though.
posted by dhoyt at 10:50 PM on April 1, 2005

Not sure about this particular species of carp, but most can handle brackish conditions quite well. In fact, there is a pretty good chance the salty water would help combat an infections from wounds gotten during rough handling (both by the market place and the guy releasing it.)

But I agree, this guy is a dumbass. This could have very easily been a snakehead or some other devistating invader. It also seemed more like a attention grabbing stunt than any act of big heartedness. And what does releasing it accomplish other than encoraging the marketplace to get another one in to sell to some dumb white kid? Hell, if they were smart, they'd start a viral marketing campaign around campuses to "rescue" their fish.

And yes, I too have often wanted to "rescue" food lobster from the grocery store. (sigh)
posted by [insert clever name here] at 12:16 AM on April 2, 2005

A freshwater fish from Kansas released into the East River or the Hudson (I can't tell which)?

Already dead.

Actually... I'd just like to say that fish in Kansas are polluted as well. But that's not to say this guy isn't a douche bag or that I didn't believe the fish was floating at the top of the water within 5 minutes of its new found freedom. (Sorry for the lame links, but I know many places that have signs posted that you should not eat fish caught in Kansas waterways--the state department of Wildlife and Parks webpage won't open though.)
posted by sleepy pete at 1:08 AM on April 2, 2005

if peeing in your pants is cool consider me miles davis
posted by Satapher at 3:19 AM on April 2, 2005

heyhey.. At least that fish died happy.
posted by dabitch at 4:42 AM on April 2, 2005

WHAAAA?? Yeah, because we wouldn't want the graduates of the Upright Citizen's Brigade to act silly.

Hey, as a former UCB student, I expect more brains than silliness in my humor!
posted by mkultra at 8:13 AM on April 2, 2005

"wresting" his arms. heh. frickin' meathead.
posted by quonsar at 8:58 AM on April 2, 2005

No one could really be this stupid. This has to be some kind of april fool's joke. Particularly cuz he's calling it a Buffalo Fish.

You guys are freaking rough, man. Jeez.
posted by ORthey at 10:35 AM on April 2, 2005

I love how there's now all these comments along the lines of "hey, whatever, the fish was probably DOA on arrival -- great story!" or "aw, fuck that, it was only one, so he can't breed anyway -- great story!" It's like "dude! I stole my mom's car and then crashed into some old lady's house, but it's cool cuz no one got hurt and her house had all these ugly gnomes and shit on the lawn anyway. Awesome!" Fucking morons. They really should be sleeping with the fishes.
posted by scody at 11:13 AM on April 2, 2005

in a sexual way?
posted by matteo at 1:13 PM on April 2, 2005

OMIGOD, TEH BLOGGER RUINED THE EAST RIVER! I'M GOING TO CALL THE COPS!

Does MeFi really have a small group of people who are concerned about invasive alien animal species? Or a large group of people who just enjoy being concerned? Because somehow I suspect it's the latter.
posted by subgenius at 5:00 PM on April 2, 2005

Well, subgenius, since you obviously couldn't be bothered to read any of the links upthread about invasive species, let me quote just one source:

Sometimes growing to more than 120 pounds, the Asian Carp are considered a bold, destructive invader species, capable of devouring all the food needed by native species. [...] "It would be very devastating," Herb Gray told CTV News, speculating on their arrival in the massive freshwater system.

As Canadian Chair of the International Joint Commission on Canada-U.S. transboundary issues such as air and water, Gray has had time to contemplate the consequences. "In fact, if Asian carp got into the Great Lakes and began breeding ... it would mean the end of the domestic species," he said.

[...]If they find their way into the Great Lakes, it is feared they could cripple the multibillion-dollar sport and commercial fishing industry there.

Dumping invasive, non-native species into waterways is widely illegal for this basic reason: they wreak havoc on often already-compromised ecosystems. In many cases, invasive species are the number one threat to native fish and plants -- which can be (and have been) wiped out. This is not some extreme, abstract, worst-case-scenario -- it happens with alarming frequency. But yeah, other than that: you caught me, dude. I'm just a busybody with nothing better to do than to give a fuck about a fish.
posted by scody at 6:33 PM on April 2, 2005 [1 favorite]

Scody, don't think I haven't read the links just because I think many of the responses in this thread are ricockulous. When you post that MeTa thread in a year or two -- you know, the one confirming that it's been "the end of the domestic species" in the Great Lakes, where "the multibillion-dollar sport and commercial fishing industry" has been crippled -- I'll be happy to admit that that this hasn't been a bunch of glib, reactionary nonsense.
posted by subgenius at 11:48 PM on April 2, 2005

Agreed, subgenius. Plus, double points for using "ricockulous."
posted by rush at 3:29 PM on April 4, 2005

Just to confirm what thomcatspike wrote, McDonald's uses Pollock or Hoki in its Filet-o-fish.
posted by exhilaration at 1:50 PM on April 6, 2005