this is not the line you are looking for

April 5, 2005 11:54 AM

The Good News: you're one of the first in line at Mann's Chinese for the last Star Wars movie ever. The bad news: the movie isn't scheduled to screen there. Logical conclusion: stay put. Out of protest.
posted by tsarfan (32 comments total)

You know, these are my people--nerds, I mean--but in this specific case I think it's okay to laugh at them, or even ridicule them with a sarcastic, cigar-smoking puppet.
posted by Hildago at 12:13 PM on April 5, 2005

Here's the BoingBoing link where Cory also posted the number for the payphone outside the theater, so you can call up the star wars line-standers yourself: [phone]
posted by p3t3 at 12:16 PM on April 5, 2005

I was going to make a snarky comment about how difficult it must be for these people to maintain their belief that this movie will be anything but dog-poo terrible, but then I realized blind faith is the basis of all religions, and I didn't want to get strung up on hate crime charges.
posted by Stonewall Jackson at 12:31 PM on April 5, 2005

This seems to confirm the worst about these fanboys, maybe all fanboys.
And very nice title.
posted by OmieWise at 12:31 PM on April 5, 2005

The Good News: you're one of the first in line at Mann's Chinese for the last Star Wars movie ever. The bad news: the movie isn't scheduled to screen there. Logical conclusion: stay put. Out of protest.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 12:34 PM on April 5, 2005

Someone on that thread is claiming that Defamer is read by everyone in The Industry. So in case anyone was wondering: you can actually be a bigger deluded nerd than someone spending 8 weeks in line at a theater that is not showing the movie you've supposedly lined up for.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 12:35 PM on April 5, 2005

You'd think they would've had this thought go through their mind at least once. Before the release of the Phantom Menace, Mann Theaters didn't want to pick up the movie because of Lucas's outrageous demands on taking such a high percentage of the ticket price (90% or so). That dispute ended up getting sorted out in the end, but the relationship between Lucas and Mann isn't good at all.
posted by Arch Stanton at 12:40 PM on April 5, 2005

Shanks wins!
posted by dougunderscorenelso at 12:40 PM on April 5, 2005

This thread is a litmus test.

*high fives Armitage Shanks*
posted by raedyn at 12:43 PM on April 5, 2005

Also, someone on that thread asked:

Is it for the fans or the bank accounts?

HA! Are you kidding me? This is big business. It's never about the fans. It's about their wallets.
posted by raedyn at 12:46 PM on April 5, 2005

This has to be one of the most useless protests ever. I can't really see ArcLight being swayed by people not blocking their entrance. Especially considering all of those people are eventually going to see this movie in their theatre. I mean what is a fanboy who will camp out for 6 weeks going to do? Not go to see the movie in the first couple of days of it's release?

I doubt this will be the last Star Wars Armitage Shanks . If Lucas doesn't produce 7-9 his heirs will. _Way_ to much money involved.
posted by Mitheral at 12:58 PM on April 5, 2005

Arclight Cinemas Hollywood is one of if not THE best venues in Los Angeles. It's a little pricier ($14/ticket), but the fun part:

1. ASSIGNED SEATING.
2. Online ticketing.

Line? At Arclight?

That's just plain stupid.

I had my tickets for LOTR: ROTK for Arclight a month before, and they were prime seats. I showed up 5 minutes before the movie started. Now THAT'S getting your money's worth.
posted by linux at 1:04 PM on April 5, 2005

For got to add: so even if they move the line to the Arclight, they'll still look pretty stupid.

Oh, and the Arclight site has been killed, looks like... probably by nerds trying to get tickets the smart way.
posted by linux at 1:05 PM on April 5, 2005

Fanboys are nothing is not stubbornly deluded. I live very near the Graumann's and witnessed the line up this past weekend. It's still rather short, but the last guy in line was faithfully dressed in Jedi robes. Most of the people were actually of the cute, dorky fanboy (and fangirl) genre. Well, not Jedi robes guy... he was your standard stereotypical fanboy.

I actually prefer the Graumman's to the Arclight (the curvy Dome hurts my eyes), but the assigned seating can be really helpful (if you get them early enough)... and nothing beats showing up ten minutes before the movie.

(Although they will kick you out of the concessions line if the movie is about to start... they bar the doors 5 minutes after the movie starts.)
posted by unsweet at 1:36 PM on April 5, 2005

One time, the movie was about to start and the concessions manager simply took my order, used my Arclight card, asked for my seat number, then let me go. Ten minutes later a concessions person came with my food.

That was nice.
posted by linux at 1:55 PM on April 5, 2005

The thing worth remembering is that this sort of stuff is about the experience, not the actuality of the situation. I once slept out overnight on King St in Toronto to get rush tickets to see one of the final performances of Rent in TO. The show wasn't even sold out, I wasn't a poor student who couldn't afford to buy my own tickets. I just thought it'd be fun to join the rush line culture and do something a bit silly for awhile.
posted by jacquilynne at 2:00 PM on April 5, 2005

Last Star Wars movie? I thought he had plans for nine.
posted by caddis at 2:40 PM on April 5, 2005

They can find the time to protest stupid shit like this but when their buddy, brother, or neighbor get's sent to Iraq...

Damn. What a bunch of morons.

The only good news is that this IS the last Star Wars movie.
posted by tkchrist at 2:46 PM on April 5, 2005

I can't tell you why, but it fills me with a deep sense of satisfaction bordering on joy that I live in a society where people do this. I wouldn't do it.... but I like it that somebody is.

Can y'all honestly tell me that this is less life satisfaction than the equivalent amount of time spent coding version 7.2 of a minor module on a little-used widget of a piece of obscure middleware you never heard of? That's what I'm likely to be doing the next five weeks.

Admittedly, I'm getting paid...
posted by hob at 3:51 PM on April 5, 2005

I swear this scene happened in Denver when the first Crispy Creams opened. No one was dressed up, just in their bathrobes.
posted by Viomeda at 4:02 PM on April 5, 2005

Thank you, thank you tsarfan. This post made my day. Made my whole week, in fact. How great to know that I live in a country where people are free to wait for weeks in apparently meaningless lines, which (apparently) provide them with a lot of meaning. Unlike, say, Russia, where people have to stand in long lines.

It's all whether you choose to judge us or not. We are not hurting anyone.
So says the line. What a great country. (Or is it just California?)

p.s. As an old-timer, I remember the excitement back in 1999, when then-President Clinton stood in the Star Wars line.
posted by LeLiLo at 4:22 PM on April 5, 2005

p.p.s. I forgot to mention, tsarfan, that your post title is brilliant.
posted by LeLiLo at 4:34 PM on April 5, 2005

How can these people afford to do this? I can't afford to do anything for six weeks except work.
Do they wait in shifts, so that sometimes they get to go home and shower and pee and stuff? Is one person in line being supported by five or six others? And if so, do they get to get in line the day of and get tickets in front of the other schlubs waiting?
Is it just kind of a big social event with various people coming and going?
What if someone gets cut-sies? Will there be a riot?
posted by Specklet at 4:38 PM on April 5, 2005

Hmm, you know, I never got around to watching the second Star Wars movie (or is that the fifth?). The series has pretty well jumped the shark.

All I want is more Samuel L. Jackson whooping the crap out of the Sith. If I get that, I'm a happy guy. And alot more of Natalie Portman in skimpy outfits, that'll work too.
posted by fenriq at 4:41 PM on April 5, 2005

Well, crap... I guess I wont be getting paid. I've been laid off again. Guess I'll go join the line... sigh.
posted by hob at 4:48 PM on April 5, 2005

OK, let me get this straight -- it's a web site with its own domain, which focuses exclusively on lining up to go see the last Star Wars movie (that's already ming-boggling enough IMHO) and it basically told a lot of fanboys to go line up at the wrong place?

[insert Lewis Black rant here]
posted by clevershark at 5:15 PM on April 5, 2005

Nerds in line for a Star Wars movie? This is a job for Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

All I want is more Samuel L. Jackson whooping the crap out of the Sith.

Padme: Which one is your lightsaber?
Mace Windu: It's the one that says "Bad Motherfucker".
posted by kirkaracha at 6:18 PM on April 5, 2005

linux: more reasons to see films at the ArcLight:

- Good auditorium design. Everything is black. I mean, everything. The fabric of the seats, the floors, the carpet, even the ceiling tiles. This means when the lights go down, there is pretty much zero ambient light hitting the screen. Does wonders for contrast.

- Kinoton "E" series projectors. Uses an electric stepper motor to pulldown each film frame instead of a mechanical intermittent, which reduces jitter and weave. Pulldown is faster, too, so the shutter can be open a larger percentage of the time. Very steady image.

- Ushers at every door to cut down on disturbances.

- No TV commercials.

I have not been there in a while, so some of the above info may be out of date. But from a technical standpoint, it really is the perfect place to see a film. On the other hand, the overall atmosphere seemed a little ... sterile. Hard to put my finger on, but it lacked a charm. I think as the place ages and gains a little history, it might start to develop that. The character of a venue does not develop overnight.
posted by Potsy at 7:26 PM on April 5, 2005

but 14 bucks? for a movie. dang. dvd and living in a one multiplex town has really spoiled me. 14 bucks for a movie and ya don't get to take it home? wow.
posted by RockyChrysler at 8:24 PM on April 5, 2005

The best is 21+ night at the Arclight.

They open the upstairs bar next to the theater, and wallah! the only downside is your drink is in a plastic cup.

But a gin and tonic while watching Spider-man 2 was such a fun night.

Ooo, I think I'll go see 21+ at Arclight: Sin City on Friday. Maybe I'll get another free martini glass.
posted by linux at 9:59 PM on April 5, 2005

The Arclight, which I totally take for granted despite living minutes away from, is only $14 during peak weekend screenings. For members (free reg.) the prices are generally $11, which here in Hollywood is only about $2-$3 more than going anywhere else.

And I agree it is sterile, soulless, and lacks anything that could be mistaken as charm. However once the lights are out, Potsy nailed it, it's as close to the perfect enviornment that one could want to enjoy a film.

Although it's usually the local film buffs who give it it's usual praise, for those of us who only see a handful of movies a year, the few extra bucks is well worth it.

They must have a hole nearby where all the children fall into because I've never seen anyone under drinking age anywhere near the joint.
posted by tsarfan at 11:08 PM on April 5, 2005

Specklet, jimmy kimmel and adam carolla did just that on "the man show" once: dressed up in yoda/darth maul makeup and pushed their way to the head of the line. hilarity ensued; some of the geeks, who were obviously ill-prepared for such an occurrence in their natural habitat, were reduced to breathless, confused protesting. also, if memory serves, someone called the cops.
posted by Silky Slim at 4:25 PM on April 7, 2005