The time to Pack a Box Lunch has arrived

May 10, 2005 8:59 AM

Duff Duff. Dirty Muskee. Gas mask. An encyclopedia of sex, for the children.
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket (25 comments total)

That reads like the list being passed around the classroom when we had a substitute teacher one day in sixth grade.
posted by mischief at 9:07 AM on May 10, 2005

Why?
posted by HuronBob at 9:10 AM on May 10, 2005

This is a fantastic resource, that's why. Funny and informative.

Twin Towers, The (noun)
When two guys are giving it to a girl in the Eiffel Tower position and they are about to climax when someone walks into the room and is so grossed out that he/she charges at them and tackles them down.
posted by fungible at 9:19 AM on May 10, 2005

the first link is definitely NSFW.

from the second:

In short, a small number of men have been putting it about a lot, thus outcompeting their lesser rivals.

so while intelligent design is punchin the munchkin, darwin's reproductive fitness is scrumping like a rabbit.
posted by three blind mice at 9:19 AM on May 10, 2005

Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.

Aahh, the naive innocence of young love.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 9:23 AM on May 10, 2005

In Maine, we were taught a sexual manuever called the "Dirty Muskie": it's when you're banging a girl, and then someone calls and says bad things about the girl. And then you cry. WHILE YOU'RE FUCKING HER!
posted by Mayor Curley at 9:28 AM on May 10, 2005

and then you lose the primaries?
posted by matteo at 9:35 AM on May 10, 2005

Mayor— HA! I thought it was when you were fucking a girl and forgot to tell her that you were about to attach electrodes to your genitals...

(This site is hilarious for it's compendium of improbable and impossible sex acts. Half of it reads like it was written by high school virgins...)
posted by klangklangston at 9:43 AM on May 10, 2005

I agree. Invaluable resource. Where else will the children learn what a Sandy Koufax is? They don't even know who he is. I think it needs an update to Roger Clemens.
posted by mrgrimm at 9:44 AM on May 10, 2005

I have an ex-boyfriend who would just love this site. But am I going to send him a link? NO.
posted by Specklet at 9:52 AM on May 10, 2005

Angry Dragon? Huh. And here I thought I wasn't going to learn anything today.
posted by Cyrano at 9:54 AM on May 10, 2005

I was happy to see Santorum there.

This is great.
posted by papercake at 10:41 AM on May 10, 2005

I liked the Dirty Jakob myself.

It's kinda like a Dirty Sanchez, but involves a beard.

Not just a quick goatee, mind, but a whole *amish-style* beard.

Gotta love those imaginative details.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:43 AM on May 10, 2005

I agree. Invaluable resource. Where else will the children learn what a Sandy Koufax is? They don't even know who he is. I think it needs an update to Roger Clemens.

If you miss and hit the wall, call it a Mitch Williams.
posted by jonmc at 10:58 AM on May 10, 2005

I think it needs an update to Roger Clemens.

I'm with you, except that if you read the definition closely, you'll notice that you specifically inseminate your left hand. So I'm gonna suggest we call it The Big Unit, in honor of today's premier lefty.

As for the Mitch Williams crack, jonmc... Damn.
posted by PhatLobley at 11:40 AM on May 10, 2005

I thought the Sandy Koufax was called an Emeril, but you say BAM! instead of that awkward pitching remark.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 12:07 PM on May 10, 2005

I thought the Sandy Koufax was called an Emeril, but you say BAM! instead of that awkward pitching remark.

This made me think of spicynuts
posted by schyler523 at 3:10 PM on May 10, 2005

Besides anything sexual involving Emeril should be called Essence of Emeril.
posted by schyler523 at 3:12 PM on May 10, 2005

I had a roommate (didn't we all) who delighted in explaning the mysteries of the Cleveland Steamer. He even came up with a sort of dance routine, involving him squatting down over an imaginary girl, making a pumping action with his right arm, and making fog-horn noises.

I miss you Mike P.
posted by bardic at 3:40 PM on May 10, 2005

I love this place. You've got people (well, person, I guess) denouncing the link as crap, and then a bunch of other people reveling in the crapulence. Marvelous!
posted by graventy at 4:39 PM on May 10, 2005

Look, I seriously want to know. Has anyone here ever done the dirty Sanchez and lived to tell the tale?

Thank God that site didn't mention the Cherry Danish. I couldn't have borne it.
posted by Decani at 6:30 PM on May 10, 2005

Alright, I'll bite. What is the Cherry Danish? I just know I'll regret asking...
posted by bdave at 9:22 PM on May 10, 2005

Wu Tang is for tha children! We-we teach tha children!
posted by deusdiabolus at 3:39 AM on May 11, 2005

Bdave: it's vile. Just the sort of thing insecure little boys who haven't actually had sex yet like to invent. I don't want to pollute these pages with a visible definition but if you really want to know (and you don't, no really you don't) it's about the seventh definition here
posted by Decani at 4:19 AM on May 11, 2005

Bloody Hell. Pun intended. Some people are just, well... bored? fucked up? I dunno...
posted by bdave at 6:31 AM on May 11, 2005