0wned

May 27, 2005 5:18 PM

You got owned... an entertaining study of life's little mishaps on video. Some you've seen, some you may not have. (wmv)
posted by crunchland (33 comments total)

The editing sucks. Much of the reactions and aftermath are removed for the sake of uptempo cutting and they are, arguably, the best parts of these clips. Plus the football stuff is just dull.
posted by bz at 5:37 PM on May 27, 2005

Agreed. The football stuff brings the rest of it down. Still, it's nice to see people injure themselves.
posted by ColdChef at 5:38 PM on May 27, 2005

Not sure I was ready for the snuff film...would have appreciated a heads up maybe
posted by aaronscool at 5:49 PM on May 27, 2005

Ouch
posted by UseyurBrain at 5:49 PM on May 27, 2005

It's really unfortunate that so many of these individuals are allowed to breed...
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 5:54 PM on May 27, 2005

Humans...
posted by jikel_morten at 6:00 PM on May 27, 2005

Wow, I've read that the Navy A-6 and A-7 jets are notorious for ingesting ground crew, but to actually see it happening... egh.
Good editing of a lot of clips. Ebaums has so many hit and miss and sometimes staged clips, I never bother to look through it. Talk about Physics gone wild.
The football stuff was, I don't know; it is just not my thing.
posted by buzzman at 6:05 PM on May 27, 2005

Huh? Where was the snuff film?
posted by phatboy at 6:09 PM on May 27, 2005

phatboy writes "Huh? Where was the snuff film?"

The guy getting sucked into the jet engine.
posted by karmaville at 6:13 PM on May 27, 2005

I'm not entirely sure the fat guy without the seatbelt or the jetskiier survived either... that was dag-nasty
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 6:24 PM on May 27, 2005

I've seen that jet engine video before, and after a little searching, I found an explanation online which claimed the guy lived. His helment got yanked off and went through the engine, destroying it before he had a chance to get eaten up by it. He fell back out onto the deck after the engine shut off, relatively unharmed.

The woman falling off the back of the motorcycle is probably much worse in terms of injuries. That one looks afwul. The road rash was probably quite something.

And most of the clips don't show reactions because they aren't available. Most of these clips have been floating around the net for ages with just as much stuff as you see; nothing else to go along with it.
posted by Potsy at 6:35 PM on May 27, 2005

Fark much?

The sad thing is if you remove the lame football clips I have almost all of those videos (and more) on disk in a folder labeled "Shit blowing up".

The guy getting sucked into the jet survived, BTW, and with all his limbs. It's been on everything from "Real TV" and "Ripley's Believe it or Not" to "Maximum Exposure".

"Viewed 1083816 times."

Heh.
posted by loquacious at 6:35 PM on May 27, 2005

I stand (happily) corrected.
posted by karmaville at 7:04 PM on May 27, 2005

From what I read on the guy trying to jump the house, he apparently broke his neck and died on the spot.
posted by moonbird at 7:15 PM on May 27, 2005

so did that kitten.
posted by shmegegge at 7:42 PM on May 27, 2005

Would have been a lot better without all that football crap interspersed. At least those guys have padding, and are paid quite nicely for their 0wn4g3.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 8:27 PM on May 27, 2005

I think that motorcycle lady survived... i remember seeing pics of horrendous road rash, but she was walking around.
posted by sleslie at 8:37 PM on May 27, 2005

yep... she survived... here are pics. They are not safe for those who are easily upset.
posted by sleslie at 8:42 PM on May 27, 2005

OUCH!!

Some of those skateboard mishaps remind me a lot of growing up. Launch ramps, halfpipes, stairs, and handrails.

Freckles grow back over scar tissue.
posted by Balisong at 9:30 PM on May 27, 2005

Mmmm, pwn3d.

Tasty.
posted by I EAT TAPES at 9:44 PM on May 27, 2005

Ouch.

Just... Ouch.
posted by Savannah at 10:01 PM on May 27, 2005

Ever see the guy blowing up a raft, whose head blew up when his son jumped on it? Not on this set of clips, but I know I have seen it on an Ebaum's type website. Is that for real? Fuck.
posted by brheavy at 10:46 PM on May 27, 2005

The should have had the one where Pinky, "he's a very loving cat" wraps himself around the guy's leg and sinks in teeth and claws.
posted by Liosliath at 11:06 PM on May 27, 2005

From what I read on the guy trying to jump the house, he apparently broke his neck and died on the spot.

I don't think so. I can't remember the name of the guy trying to jump to the roof of the apartment building on his bike, but I'm almost positive he walked away from that and still rides.

There was a crazy bike jumping guy from China that died last year, trying to jump the Great Wall, and if I recall correctly, I think it was a broken neck.
posted by mathowie at 11:17 PM on May 27, 2005

mathowie said: "There was a crazy bike jumping guy from China that died last year, trying to jump the Great Wall, and if I recall correctly, I think it was a broken neck."

Well damn. I know Danny Way is going to attempt the same thing on a skateboard this summer. This story makes it even more insane though, considering that Danny Way broke his neck completely off a few years ago. And they said he was lucky to survive back then. Crazy fuck.
posted by cheerleaders_to_your_funeral at 5:18 AM on May 28, 2005

So it's okay to watch this if the people lived, but if they died, it's a snuff film and therefore 'bad'? Not that I don't find the comedy in watching other people slip on proverbial banana peels, but I don't see how it's any different. In many of those clips, people are centimeters away from snuffing it. Had their trajectory been slightly different, or a little more velocity were involved, they wouldn't have made it.

If one enjoys this sort of thing, they're proving the Mel Brooks axiom that tragedy is if it happens to me but comedy is if it happens to you. Whether or not that guy actually got sucked into a jet engine, his present state of existence doesn't change the fact we're pretty effed up human beings, enjoying one another's suffering.

I'm no saint of course. I just think it should be noted that this sort of thing is the metaphorical equivalent of 'soft porn' compared to actual snuff films being 'hard porn' and people who like this but say they don't like snuff films are being a wee bit hypocritical. Myself included. Furthermore, when one watches this and questions the intelligence of the victims or wonders how they manage to breed, you're dehumanizing the victims and trying to place oneself above them. Any given time of the day you are ten feet away from such a tragic fate. Bad things happen to good people, too. ...Except for the skateboarders. Dey wuz askin' fer it. (j/k)

AFV has better editing. Jackass is funnier. I want those three minutes of my life back.
posted by ZachsMind at 5:43 AM on May 28, 2005

*blows raspberry at ZachsMind*

Incidentally, "scar tissue" is a vile phrase. Vile.
posted by paperpete at 11:37 AM on May 28, 2005

when one watches this and questions the intelligence of the victims or wonders how they manage to breed, you're dehumanizing the victims and trying to place oneself above them.

On more than one occasion I've been within moments or inches of being exactly like any one of these Darwin candidates.

I should damn well hope that were my idiot actions caught on tape, thousands of viewers would openly question my intelligence. And too, I hope, learn to not be quite so stupid as I.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:29 PM on May 28, 2005

One hopes video is rolling when some people around here fall off their high horses. After all, if you can't laugh at other people's misfortune, what can you laugh at?
posted by crunchland at 8:44 PM on May 28, 2005

Ever see the guy blowing up a raft, whose head blew up when his son jumped on it? Not on this set of clips, but I know I have seen it on an Ebaum's type website. Is that for real? Fuck.

Please tell me you're kidding. Please tell me my sarcasm detector has shut down. Of course that wasn't real.
posted by tomble at 6:43 AM on May 29, 2005

This has that car-wreck feeling: can't look and can't look away. One saving grace is that most of these people caused their own problems.
posted by deborah at 12:20 PM on May 29, 2005

After all, if you can't laugh at other people's misfortune, what can you laugh at?
Our own misfortunes.
posted by dg at 2:59 PM on May 29, 2005

ZachsMind, it definitely makes a difference whether or not people died in the process, just like it makes a difference if people got hurt or walked away without a scratch. I'd really prefer not to see video of people dying, because it desensitizes you to death, which is certainly unhealthy. It's a bit easier to justify watching people (just) getting hurt, but is probably not too good for your personal development either. But then again in most of these cases, the people were definitely asking for it, so I can't feel too guilty...
posted by jimmy76 at 12:18 PM on May 30, 2005