James Bond in a Fiat Panda?

August 8, 2005 8:41 AM

So, apparently there is a certain danger that James Bond will be putt-putting around in a 4WD Fiat Panda. What is the world coming to? It hardly fits in with the rest of the James Bond vehicle park. A propos Bond-cars - in 1997, James Bond's original DB5 was stolen and was never recovered. Someone, somewhere, has this piece of motoring history stashed away.
posted by SharQ (34 comments total)

Repeat after me: It's just a rumor. It's just a rumor...
posted by mischief at 8:49 AM on August 8, 2005

James Bond driving the same car as Student Grant. It's a wacky world.
posted by veedubya at 8:50 AM on August 8, 2005

Think about it: Bond in the ultimate undercover vehicle. The bad guy will never see him coming in an Italian riceburner.
posted by Rothko at 8:51 AM on August 8, 2005

You'd think he'd be out and about in a DB9 or something else that's British and respectable!
posted by clevershark at 8:52 AM on August 8, 2005

Moore drove half a car in View To A Kill, Connery in a gyrocopter in You Only Live Twice (and a ridiculous jetpack in Thunderball), who's to say he won't be thrashing around in a Panda somewhere in Casino Royale?

You do realize that the Aston Martin Vantage is also confirmed for the movie, right? As well as a Land Rover, I hear.
posted by linux at 8:54 AM on August 8, 2005

I read somewhere that Bond is usually only allowed one sexual liason per film now. The world has truly gone mad.
posted by jonmc at 8:59 AM on August 8, 2005

Exactly. Bond drives what he has available.

A Renault taxi in VTAK. A ridiculous Citroen in FYEO.

Of course, my favorite non-Aston Martin Bond vehicle was the 1971 Mustang in Diamonds Are Forever.
posted by grabbingsand at 9:01 AM on August 8, 2005

People still watch bond movies? I remember when they used to be sexy daring movies. Now? They are just an episode of friends where things blow up.
posted by srboisvert at 9:07 AM on August 8, 2005

I read somewhere that Bond is usually only allowed one sexual liason per film now. The world has truly gone mad.

When they cut him back to one Martini jonmc then you can safely say the world has gone mad. Until then some sanity remains.

Awesome link grabbingsand to the CV-2.
posted by three blind mice at 9:26 AM on August 8, 2005

My favorite non-Aston Martin, because, honestly, the DB5 as the first gimmick car and the Vanquish as the coolest war wagon evar, and I just right now discovered that the Vantage for the 21st movie is a reunion, as Bond used an older model Vantage in The Living Daylights (and that car is also a favorite of mine... SKIS!), would be, and this is no surprise, the Lotus Esprit he drove prior to the Citroen.

Remember the fan boat chase? That was good.
posted by linux at 9:29 AM on August 8, 2005

Peak oil strikes again. Bond's next car will be a SMART car.
posted by sleslie at 9:51 AM on August 8, 2005

Think about it: Bond in the ultimate undercover vehicle. The bad guy will never see him coming in an Italian riceburner.

Surely you mean pastaburner?

Anyway, there's not really much choice for a "proper" British Bondmobile, is there? Ford owns Jaguar and Aston Martin, BMW owns what's left of Rover/Austin/Morris, I think GM owns part of Lotus... he could always drive a Morgan, right?
posted by arto at 10:11 AM on August 8, 2005

Why doesn't james drive a bentley? (I am not a Bond superfan, so maybe this is a dumb question.)
posted by zpousman at 10:16 AM on August 8, 2005

Think about it: Bond in the ultimate undercover vehicle. The bad guy will never see him coming in an Italian riceburner.

Surely you mean pastaburner?

risottoburner.
posted by jonmc at 10:29 AM on August 8, 2005

It's such a shame it's not the old Fiat Panda, that was a masterpiece of ugliness (but so easy to park!).
posted by funambulist at 10:30 AM on August 8, 2005

Don't forget about the moonbuggy!
posted by portage at 10:32 AM on August 8, 2005

Sorry. That's moonbuggy.
posted by portage at 10:34 AM on August 8, 2005

Lucky for Bond he works for MI-5 and not the CIA or he'd probably be tooling around in those shitty standard issue Chevy Cavaliers.

Vagina Fantastic: Let's get out of here, James!

James Bond: Uh....

VF: What is it?

JB: The battery's dead again. Fuck.

VF: James, they're coming!

JB: I don't know why this keep happening. Look, we're kinda on a slant, maybe we can push start it.

-pause-

VF: What?

JB: Do I have to spell it out for you? Get out and push, bitch.
posted by iron chef morimoto at 11:40 AM on August 8, 2005

How about the Lotus Esprit Submarine Car, which a bunch of yahoos voted as the best ever screen vehicle? In 1988 this guy went to the Bahamas and tracked down and bought two of the cars that were used in 1977's The Spy Who Loved Me.

He drove a Ford Mustang Mach 1 in Diamonds Are Forever. Cars in James Bond movies at the Internet Movie Cars Database. (Includes all of the vehicles in the movies, not just the ones driven by Bond.)

WikiPedia List of James Bond vehicles
posted by kirkaracha at 11:59 AM on August 8, 2005

b1tr0t, Johnny Depp as Bond would absolutely suck balls.

This might be blasphemy but I bet George Clooney would make a good Bond. The right combination of cool, class, humor and he's got the gray hair too.

And Rothko? Riceburners are generally from Japan and have two wheels and can go 0-60 in under 4 seconds and they're usually called motorcycles.
posted by fenriq at 12:01 PM on August 8, 2005

A second definition of riceburner is a car made to look fast but is actually pathetically slow.

Wikipedia
posted by linux at 12:12 PM on August 8, 2005

This is not to be confused with the term "pocket rocket", a typically ugly car that happens to be cheap yet ridiculously fun to drive.

The original was the VW MkI GTI, though in recent times the Golf has evolved into a fat, bloated mess and Japanese cars now claim the majority of such cars; also includes stuff from Ford and Dodge in their Focus and Neon SRT-4.
posted by linux at 12:16 PM on August 8, 2005

I don't think the "ugly" is part of the definition. The Honda CRX, Nissan NX, Honda del Sol, and Mazda Miata were all pocket rockets.

They are all uniformly small, light, inexpensive, and quick off the mark, with good or great handling.

In today's field, the New Beetle, some of the Civics, and maybe the top-end Austin Mini would probably define the pocket rocket category. 'cept they're not inexpensive.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:52 PM on August 8, 2005

Linux: '"pocket rocket", a typically ugly car'
I thought the Pocket Rocket was Maurice Richards' younger brother.
posted by Cranberry at 1:15 PM on August 8, 2005

Well, I did say typically. The Mazda Miata is more a classic sportscar (convertible, RWD, small) than a pocket rocket; and if you really wanted to nitpick, a pocket rocket should be FWD.
posted by linux at 1:29 PM on August 8, 2005

Interesting, I'd never heard of riceburner being applied to cars, I guess I learned something new today. I'd just tend to refer to those kind of cars are "retread rides".

But you cagers had better not try to steal "suicycle"! That's all bike!
posted by fenriq at 1:45 PM on August 8, 2005

So is crotch rocket. :)
posted by linux at 2:17 PM on August 8, 2005

I was happy to one-up James Bond when I bought my first car, a 3CV.
The car was just a few years younger than me.
posted by NewBornHippy at 2:36 PM on August 8, 2005

I heard James Bond was going for the retro look and getting a Gremlin.
posted by alteredcarbon at 3:18 PM on August 8, 2005

As long as he doesn't drive a Multipla I'll keep seeing the movies. But the moment I spot that ugly, ugly beast, I'm swearing off Bond forever.
posted by blue_beetle at 4:37 PM on August 8, 2005

Funny. I was just thinking (why?) about that scene when the wings pop out of the top of Bond's speedboat, and he goes soaring off over the falls. What a nice moment that must have been!
posted by Hobbacocka at 5:05 PM on August 8, 2005

risottoburner.

Flagged as FANTASTIC.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 5:12 PM on August 8, 2005

JB: Do I have to spell it out for you? Get out and push, bitch.
posted by iron chef morimoto at 2:40 PM EST on August 8 [!]

I'm sorry, but this is truly fantastic.
posted by Rothko at 5:32 PM on August 8, 2005

I didn't know the Miata was RWD! Odd duck.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:03 PM on August 8, 2005