Aneros

August 26, 2005 8:01 PM

Stimulating the male G-spot: The medically researched and designed Aneros was originally created to safely and effectively massage the prostate, relieve congested prostate fluid, and promote general prostate health. It is anatomically tailored to the male body. When it was initially released, the Aneros worked like designed and greatly improved the quality of lives for many of our customers. However, in addition to reporting improved prostate health, many of our users reported experiencing unbelievable orgasms and unique pleasure that, while different from a traditional penile orgasm, could only be described as "orgasmic."

And the best thing is, you don't have to charge any batteries neither do you have to use your hands. It's completely sphincter operated!

You can also just put it on your mantle piece and call it modern art. [Links might be NSFW, but no naked pictures]
posted by kika (62 comments total)

My wife wants to buy me one. I'm not sure...

Post posting: I tried to post this before, but JRun ate it. I hadn't seen the urine posting otherwise I might have waited a while.
posted by kika at 8:04 PM on August 26, 2005

I prefer to think we were synergetic, kika.
posted by DeepFriedTwinkies at 8:06 PM on August 26, 2005

I predict an uncomfortable but highly entertaining thread.
posted by fenriq at 8:21 PM on August 26, 2005

So this can relieve my [Pepsi] blue balls, then?
posted by drpynchon at 8:22 PM on August 26, 2005

There's no ejaculation involved, drpynchon. Your [Pepsi] blue balls are shit out of luck.
posted by nonmerci at 8:37 PM on August 26, 2005

Metafilter:Hands-Free Self-Propelled Pleasure
posted by R. Mutt at 8:44 PM on August 26, 2005

uncomfortable but highly entertaining
much like the aneros itself, apparently.
posted by Silky Slim at 9:00 PM on August 26, 2005

Since this is a medical device for better prostate health, will my health insurance pay for it?
posted by birdherder at 9:01 PM on August 26, 2005

If you have prostate problems, they might. Just ask.

[No, I'm not affiliated with this company]
posted by kika at 9:09 PM on August 26, 2005

I'm pretty sure that if this is medical, my employer has to tolerate it in the workplace.
posted by dreamsign at 9:11 PM on August 26, 2005

is it a secret that massaging the prostate gives pleasure? or just to straight guys?
posted by amberglow at 9:17 PM on August 26, 2005

Just to straight guys. We can barely comprehend foreplay, don't make us think about our bottoms...
posted by DeepFriedTwinkies at 9:21 PM on August 26, 2005

Just to straight guys? There are a large number of women out there who suspect that if you want to do anything at all with your bottom you've got a secret case of teh gay.
posted by dreamsign at 9:27 PM on August 26, 2005

MetaFilter: It's completely sphincter operated!
posted by wendell at 9:30 PM on August 26, 2005 [2 favorites]

We hope that researchers and specialists in this field will do more to shed light on this remarkable phenomenon. We will offer free Aneros Massagers for such research purposes.

Who knew being a researcher would get you all this swag?
posted by greatgefilte at 9:37 PM on August 26, 2005

Wendell: That's the first MeFi tagline that's made me laugh in as long as I can remember. But I'm also drunk and procrastinating an article. So I may have low standards.
As for the Analizer... I dunno... it just seems so... big...
posted by klangklangston at 9:37 PM on August 26, 2005

MetaFilter: Uncomfortable but highly entertaining.

MetaFilter: You can also just put it on your mantle piece and call it modern art.

MetaFilter: My employer has to tolerate it in the workplace.

MetaFilter: I tried to post this before, but JRun ate it.

And I just don't know why nobody tried:
MetaFilter: Stimulating the male G-spot.

Did I pretty much cover them? I think wendell still gets the prize, but this ought to cover the rest.
posted by mystyk at 9:53 PM on August 26, 2005

Straight men are finally learning what gay men always knew :)
posted by mike3k at 9:57 PM on August 26, 2005

Wendell wins.
posted by loquacious at 9:59 PM on August 26, 2005

Tell us more, gay men.
posted by VulcanMike at 10:14 PM on August 26, 2005

posted by icosahedral at 10:29 PM on August 26, 2005

Shit, I thought that Free Republic was the only one that was completely sphincter operated.
posted by rdone at 10:33 PM on August 26, 2005

Self massage of the prostate can be dangerous if not done correctly. Yeah, but i live on the edge.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 10:33 PM on August 26, 2005

That thing looks like an alien ray gun. Holy smokes.
posted by socratic at 10:34 PM on August 26, 2005

I have a body part that's compatible with that?
posted by mullacc at 10:45 PM on August 26, 2005

Now with Necroflesh. (TM)
posted by dreamsign at 10:50 PM on August 26, 2005

So which part of the thing goes where?
posted by PurplePorpoise at 10:54 PM on August 26, 2005

Hey nonmerci, whaddaya mean "there's no ejaculation involved"? I was gonna say "Poor guy, you never came from being assfucked?" till I looked up your user page and saw a female name. That explains it. All I can say is sometimes it is different for men.

And PurplePorpoise, if you ask politely maybe one of Mefite's gay contingent will help you figure it out.
posted by davy at 10:57 PM on August 26, 2005

Just bought one. Can't wait to read the user manual.

Directions for use:

1) stick it up your ass
2) come all your bodily fluids
posted by scarabic at 11:11 PM on August 26, 2005

This post answered one of those "always wanted to know but too embarrassed to ask" type questions.
posted by Chimp at 11:17 PM on August 26, 2005

heh-heh, heh-heh,

you put it in your BUTT!
posted by newfers at 11:19 PM on August 26, 2005

Interesting that someone would call the prostate the "male g-spot". We've come full circle!

There's still controversy surrounding the g-spot, but I think consensus has moved in the direction of accepting that it's real. And there's some thinking that it's a bit of glandular tissue along the urinary tract and is, basically, the female analog of the prostate.

My experience with both my own prostate and sexual play and the g-spot confirms this, as both in my experience are optimally stimulated just prior to orgasm. The prostate gland is where the seminal fluid sans the sperm is created; it builds up there and the gland "hardens" just prior to orgasm before ejaculation. I'm not sure of all the mechanics involved. But the point is that this is similar to what happens with the g-spot: some fluid may build up there prior to orgasm, and applying pressure/massage at that time can be extremely stimulating, as it is in the case of the prostate.

Massage of the prostate is not (I think) for most men pleasurable in complete isolation--the sensations involved are the same as the "fullness" one feels just prior to ejaculation and which is pretty much the same as experiencing the feeling of needing to pee (the portion of the sensation that is strongly localized at the end of the urethra and also weakly farther inward) but in a profoundly different context. I also think there's a relationship here between this sensation and full-bladder morning erections that many (mostly young) men experience.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:20 PM on August 26, 2005

mystyk, I think you forgot:
MetaFilter: Many of our users call it the "Super-O"
btw: Wendell wins.
posted by numlok at 11:48 PM on August 26, 2005

I like:
MetaFilter: Combined with spiritual stimulation, the orgasm is intensified.
But it lacks concision.
posted by pointilist at 12:28 AM on August 27, 2005

MetaFilter: It lacks concision.
posted by socratic at 12:44 AM on August 27, 2005

MetaFilter: Concsion

I'll come quietly
posted by fvw at 1:06 AM on August 27, 2005

For sake of reference: if you really need to ejaculate, you can probably just pull the thing out once you feel the orgasm coming on and manually finish the job yourself. I think the method by which this works is similar to the medical "finger wave" or (obviously) anal sex. The reason why the orgasm comes and you don't (sorry, had to toss off a pun - oh! two in one) is because the constant pressure on the prostate at the moment of orgasm "squeezes off" the release of the fluid. Therefore, if you pull it out...skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet....
posted by deusdiabolus at 1:07 AM on August 27, 2005

You might end up with a bad case of aneroids.
posted by Joeforking at 1:51 AM on August 27, 2005

If there was ever a thread in which If I Had an Anus is unwelcome, it's this one.
posted by Meatbomb at 3:41 AM on August 27, 2005

You gotta love (or be worried by, or both) a site that has a link title An Anal Awakening. Hmm, mystyk, how about:

MetaFilter: An Anal Awakening
?
posted by scruss at 3:56 AM on August 27, 2005

Does it come in chocolate?
posted by strawberryviagra at 5:04 AM on August 27, 2005

Hmmm, fifty dollars?

I have been envious of my girlfriends' orgasms for years, where they convulse, tighten, and feel it through their whole body while mine seems to be a pretty humdrum affair in contrast. I think that's why men ejaculate is so whomever created such a disparity in orgasm wonderment could say, "yeah, your's might not be as good, but it's like you create a majestic water fountain for 10 seconds!"

I may be placated by the fount, but after having seen Cytheria and one former girlfriend who could create waterworks displays that showed up my biological display I felt cheated once more.

From the testimonials it sounds interesting, I don't know that it would give me as much as my girlfriend gets from her Rabbit though.

A few of the reviews mention making modifications to fix poorly engineered parts of the toy, maybe they will make a model 2 that cures some of those problems. Then it's just a matter of one of my friends giving a first-hand account or a price drop before I buy one.
posted by herting at 5:18 AM on August 27, 2005

Can I just say that stimulation of the female g-spot, or rough bit on the roof of the vaginal cavity, often makes women breath faster if stimulated during episodes of Dr Phil.

I wrote off enquiring about a starter kit. I'll be sure to let y'all know if they reply.
posted by Sparx at 5:39 AM on August 27, 2005

Wow. Read some of the forum posts.
posted by sjvilla79 at 6:07 AM on August 27, 2005

MetaFilter: there's no ejaculation involved
posted by bwg at 6:19 AM on August 27, 2005

MetaFilter: skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet
posted by ijoshua at 6:42 AM on August 27, 2005

I have a broom handle here. Will that do the trick?
posted by sjvilla79 at 6:58 AM on August 27, 2005

Sjvilla: Only if you tape a Silly Putty egg to the top. Otherwise, it's dangerous.
posted by klangklangston at 7:28 AM on August 27, 2005

I wonder if this will become popular with the religious set for whom spilling seed is a no-no.
posted by greatgefilte at 7:35 AM on August 27, 2005

Too expensive. You can buy two or more dildos from any of the adult toy shops on or off line for that price. With better designed handles and etc.

I have it from a reputable source that he prefers the vibrating kind of toy for the same purpose.
posted by keptwench at 7:39 AM on August 27, 2005

Then it's just a matter of one of my friends giving a first-hand account ...


Metafilter: a first-hand account ; >
posted by amberglow at 8:22 AM on August 27, 2005

Many vibrating butt plugs are cheaper, but they do require batteries.

Somebody needs to do a scientific study to find out if this product and/or VBPs are useful in treating CPPS.
posted by MonkeyC at 8:36 AM on August 27, 2005

I'm shocked that it appears none of you appear to have fingers. How do you type?
posted by sequential at 8:53 AM on August 27, 2005

I'm shocked that it appears none of you appear to have fingers. How do you type?

exactly! Who needs toys?
posted by amberglow at 9:11 AM on August 27, 2005

I guess that trying to sell dildos as health-care products is a pretty neat idea.

anyway, "you've got a secret case of teh gay" made me laugh. and wendell made me laugh too, as he always does.
posted by matteo at 1:18 PM on August 27, 2005

Does it come in chocolate?

It'll come in anything if you aim it correctly.
posted by sharpener at 1:35 PM on August 27, 2005

matteo:

not dildoes, buttplugs.

just sayin'...
posted by dersins at 2:08 PM on August 27, 2005

You bunch of perverts. What happened to being th master of your domain?

When I'm home alone and, let's say, Arianna Huffington is on NPR? I got one rule and one rule only: All hands on deck - right where I can see them.

Otherwise one thing leads to another... Mmmmm. The way she says "Prezeedont Cleenton" Rowr.

Damn. Sick. I'm sick too! Oh. Well. How much is this thing?
posted by tkchrist at 3:46 PM on August 27, 2005

Sjvilla: Only if you tape a Silly Putty egg to the top. Otherwise, it's dangerous.

Someone should have said something before I started here. Oh well. No turning back now I guess.
posted by sjvilla79 at 4:45 PM on August 27, 2005

MetaFilter: See? You really will go blind.
posted by deusdiabolus at 11:22 PM on August 27, 2005

Ruprecht! Don't take the cork off the fork!
posted by dreamsign at 12:14 AM on August 28, 2005

Hmm. It's been my experience that boys tend to shoot farther whilst being stimulated in that region, as opposed to not coming at all.

Also, I want one. I imagine the effect it would have on a bottom would be... breathtaking. /sadist.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 5:54 PM on August 28, 2005