A Childhood Friend Commits Suicide

September 7, 2005 10:15 AM

Marvel to finance up to ten new films — Marvel Entertainment has received a line of credit to produce new superhero films. The characters in the arrangement are Captain America, The Avengers, Nick Fury, Black Panther, Ant-Man, Cloak & Dagger, Dr. Strange, Hawkeye, Power Pack, and Shang-Chi. "These movies are tentpoles for either summer or the holidays," said Marvel chairman and CEO, Avi Arad. Right. Because who wouldn't want to see a film about Hawkeye? Or Ant-Man? I can't wait! (Related: how to make a superhero movie that doesn't suck. My first thought? Have a superhero that doesn't suck.)
posted by jdroth (134 comments total)

i find your lack of faith disturbing.

where the fuck is the iron man film damnit?!
posted by Stynxno at 10:19 AM on September 7, 2005

I honestly can't think of a superhero film that I want to see made, unless it was "Red Son" with Superman as a Russian, or some similar alternate universe take. Maybe Frank Miller's Batman.
posted by craniac at 10:22 AM on September 7, 2005

I don't want to see any of those. But then again, I'm not a comic fan, and they might be good. Quit laughing. It could happen.
posted by teece at 10:24 AM on September 7, 2005

Ant-Man over Alias?
posted by aburd at 10:24 AM on September 7, 2005

Hey, come on now... Hawkeye is cool. First off, he's just an archer, so that makes him one of those 'attainable' heroes. Secondly, his first name is Clint, a name that has now been banned from comics.

You see, in comics all the letters are in uppercase, and when I read them the ink would smudge sometimes. This would make names like Clint look a bit like something else. Squint your eyes at "CLINT".
posted by DragonBoy at 10:24 AM on September 7, 2005

Different heroes appeal to different people. I would have agreed with you about the Hawkeye movie, but given my wife's reaction to Orlando Bloom's Legolas, I'd say that a Hawkeye movie could do pretty well (bow and arrow mastery is still impressive, especially when demonstatred by a "hottie elf" as my wife would put it).

Marvel has been largely good about transitioning their heroes to the big screen, if you ignore the cesspool that was daredevil.

I'm totally psyched for the Cloak and Dagger movie, I thought they were totally cool when I was a teenager (runaways that get super powers from a heroin overdose! Woo!)
posted by illovich at 10:26 AM on September 7, 2005

PowerPack? Seriously? They couldn't even make it as a comic book, let alone an adaptation of a comic book into a movie. I mean, none of these are particularly good, but holy lord, Power Pack? The only Power Pack related item I ever had was an advertisement they did with Spider Man warning kids to report people who touch them inappropriately.
posted by jonson at 10:26 AM on September 7, 2005

Cloak and Dagger?!!! Nice!
posted by sonofsamiam at 10:26 AM on September 7, 2005

Power Pack is grotesque.

I'd be in for an interesting take on Dr. Strange, but I think that's probably too much to hope for.

My guess is that maybe 2 of these movies get made.
posted by selfnoise at 10:29 AM on September 7, 2005

Everyone knows that David Hasselhoff is the One and Only Nick Fury.

Maybe DC will lurch slowly off its butt and make a decent Flash movie at some point.

One possible benefit from superhero movies being over done in the next five years is the hope that in fifteen years they can make a good movie of Kingdom Come. Or 1602. Or even House of M.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:30 AM on September 7, 2005

I want a live action Corto Maltese movie.
posted by elgilito at 10:30 AM on September 7, 2005

/ditto on Cloak & Dagger...that could be a great film if they kept it really dark.
posted by NationalKato at 10:31 AM on September 7, 2005

Dr Strange has already had his movie.

Of all of these possibilities, Captain America might turn out better than expected. Of course, he had his late 70s turn, too.

Now, Cloak & Dagger ... if given to the right people, that might be a hell of a good movie. But if it was up to me, I'd just save them for use in a Spider-Man sequel.
posted by grabbingsand at 10:32 AM on September 7, 2005

As long as Captain America takes place during WW2 and features a lot of Indiana Jones style Nazi bashing and adventure, it'll rock...

If they try to set it in the modern era, it'll blow.

Power Pack could be a really cool kiddy movie. Since only the first 6 or so issues were any good they wouldn't have to worry about cutting out huge chunks of plot or 30 years of tightly clung to continuity.

Dr. Strange might be OK. Avengers too.
posted by davros42 at 10:32 AM on September 7, 2005

It's not Marvel, but I wouldn't mind seeing a movie version of The Maxx if it was done well.
posted by nervousfritz at 10:32 AM on September 7, 2005

I have this crazy theory that Arnold Schwarzenegger would have been the best Batman, because I think Frank Miller does the definitive Batman in DKR (besides doing the definitive superhero comic at the same time - he nails the vengeance element of comics perfectly). Ah-nold would be perfect as the craggy, wily nutjob Dark Knight, except perhaps he's a bit too evil in real life...

I think Avengers could be good, except I agree with the Salon article on the team issue. Black Panther?! I like the character but that would be pretty disturbing as a summer action flick. I guess all of the violence glorification of comics is problematic, but I'd hate to see some Michael Bay-ish take on Somalia or other civil war-torn African nation.
posted by Slothrop at 10:34 AM on September 7, 2005

PS, isn't Ant Man a wifebeater and an alcoholic? That movie's gonna suck.

hmmmm .... Ant man ? .... abusive ? ..... booze? .... redemption? ... interesting ... this could work... is Mickey Rourke available willing to wear antennae?
posted by R. Mutt at 10:34 AM on September 7, 2005

The Avengers, as a group, kinda suck. I was reading something recently (can't remember where) about how the Avengers was kind of a failure as a long-term title for Marvel, primarily because the team kept changing. Adding people, starting 'West Coast Avengers,' etc etc.

Crap.

Cloak and Dagger could fully kick ass though. Of course, they'll cast Cameron Diaz as Dagger or something, and then I'll light myself on fire.

Where's Power Man and Iron Fist?!?! Or Alpha Force!?@

-s
posted by fet at 10:38 AM on September 7, 2005

Will the Power Pack movie be an adaptation of the anti drug comics?
And I love Dr. Strange. He's the best character Marvel had during the '60s.

Of the ones above, Captain America has already had a shitty movie, the Avengers are huge and unweildly (and will destroy having an Iron Man solo movie), Nick Fury's easy (just remake any John Wayne-esque Green Beret thing), Black Panther could be pretty cool (though it's more likely to be a pandering black folks flick), Ant Man could be cool if done in a Barfly sort of explosion of the mythos (fuckin' Pym particles), Cloak and Dagger could be cool but probably won't be, Hawkeye will be pretty gay (if by costume alone) and therefore campy, Dr. Strange should be good but will probably disappoint me and I'll cry, Power Pack will suck (Incredibles), and Shaing-Chi is already a fuckin' Jet Li flick waiting to happen.
posted by klangklangston at 10:38 AM on September 7, 2005

Hey Stynxno and XQUZYPHYR, it's over here along with Ghost Rider and Iron Fist.

It's easy to make a good superhero movie. You just have to start with a good idea, and not screw the damned thing up.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 10:39 AM on September 7, 2005

This slashdot comment, purportedly by an employee of "the company that brokered the deal" sheds some light on the subject.
posted by Espy Gillespie at 10:39 AM on September 7, 2005

My guess is that maybe 2 of these movies get made.

The line of credit in question provides $525 million in funding. I'm not clear on the exact details, but it seems that if things go poorly, the financiers could end up owning the properties in question. Marvel could lose Captain America, for example.

Or Ant-Man:



As a life-long fan of comics, I hope this deal works out well. As a resident of the Real World, I have my doubts.
posted by jdroth at 10:42 AM on September 7, 2005

Where is the Iron Man movie? That could be a damned good movie and an interesting one at that. Especially if they get Benny Afleck to be Tony Stark, no wait, how about Colin Farrell? No, no wait, I've got it, Will Ferrell, damn, hold on, how about Johnny Depp? Damn, this is harder than I thought.
posted by fenriq at 10:42 AM on September 7, 2005

Alpha Force!?

Ahem. That's Alpha Flight.
posted by grabbingsand at 10:43 AM on September 7, 2005

Those old Captain America movies were downright awful. I rented them when I was young and sick and got stuck with them all day... I'm still scarred by memories of the pathetic costume for the Red Skull.
posted by prostyle at 10:46 AM on September 7, 2005

All this "who on earth would want to see ..." aside, a lot of people did want to see a bunch of films with Marvel characters.
However, those were produced by movie companies, i.e. companies that know how to make a successful movie. And even those produce flops 70% of the time. Marvel got royalties for that, but those were probably only in the single-digit range.

So now, Marvel says it wants to take ALL responsibility in return for the entire cake. This is a pretty risky move for a company that doesn't know how to make movies.
posted by sour cream at 10:46 AM on September 7, 2005

From the slashdot comment: Those cats aren't so old - there's a very real chance that they'll get to executive produce (at the very least) their own movies like no comic book geek has ever done before.

And movie lovers quake in fear.

Or, roll their eyes in disgust.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 10:47 AM on September 7, 2005

Characters who could have really cool movies:
(Marvel)
Iron Man
Silver Surfer
Mike Allred's X-Force
Vision
Luke Cage
Dial-a-Hero
Iron Fist
Thor (maybe not)
New Mutants
Sub-Mariner (nazi)

(DC)
Plastic Man
Animal Man
Swamp Thing
Sandman (Silver Age)
The Flash (Golden Age)
Bizarro

(Other)
Preacher
Bone
The Tick
Lone Wolf and Cub
Daniel Boring
Quimby the Mouse (that's a kids movie waiting to happen!)
Milk and Cheese (another great kids movie waiting to happen).
posted by klangklangston at 10:49 AM on September 7, 2005

Personally, I'd like to see a movie based on Brian Michael Bendis' Powers. (Actually, I'd probably go see nearly any film he wrote. I wonder if he'll get a chance...)

I'd also like to see a non-sucky film version of something from Alan Moore. Top 10? Promethea?
posted by jdroth at 10:52 AM on September 7, 2005

sour cream: So now, Marvel says it wants to take ALL responsibility in return for the entire cake. This is a pretty risky move for a company that doesn't know how to make movies.

Giving an artist from another genre creative control over the movie-making process has been a recipe for disaster since Frank Baum created his own movie studio to produce Oz.

Marvel can't make a comic title worth reading these days, does anyone really think that their market pandering will end up creating good movies?
posted by KirkJobSluder at 10:55 AM on September 7, 2005

The Flash (Golden Age)

There you go. Jay Garrick's Mercury-helmed Flash.
posted by grabbingsand at 10:57 AM on September 7, 2005

Characters who could have really cool movies:
(DC)
Animal Man

So will Grant Morrison get a chance to write himself into the movie? Personally, I would love to see The Filth filmed just for oddness sake, but something tells me that anything Morrison touches will not be that commercially viable.
posted by aburd at 10:57 AM on September 7, 2005

Marvel will be shaking in their shoes when the Aquaman movie comes out.
No, it's not real. Thank god!
posted by ooga_booga at 10:59 AM on September 7, 2005

I'm not interested in any of those. ROM, on the other hand, I would totally watch :)
posted by kaemaril at 10:59 AM on September 7, 2005 [1 favorite]

Captain America said, "You gotta be like me, or you're gonna wind up dead."
posted by wakko at 11:02 AM on September 7, 2005

I'm not interested in any of those. ROM, on the other hand, I would totally watch.

Or Micronauts! I loved Micronauts. I'd also love it if time could reverse itself and George Lucas would base the Star Wars prequels on some of the ideas from the Marvel comics. Heresy, I know, but I loved them.
posted by jdroth at 11:02 AM on September 7, 2005 [1 favorite]

Hulk: "So. Let me get this straight. You have the power of an ANT?"

Ant Man: "No. No. Common misconception. I can shrink down to the SIZE of an ant. But. I maintain the strength of a man."

Hulk: "So. You have the strength of a Man? What the hell kind of super power is that? everybody is as strong as a man.

Ant Man: "No. you see proportionally I...

Hulk: "HEY. THOR! Check this out. This guy says he has the strength of a Man! Whooo whee! A man. Ha hahaha..."

Ant Man: (Sighs)
posted by tkchrist at 11:03 AM on September 7, 2005

Yeah, Cloak and Dagger is way kool! I used to have the first issue of Power Pack... I clicked on the link here, what happened to their innocence? Yikes!

I vote for Alpha Flight! Yeah, am tired of 'em mutants already! Ant-Man, o lord!!
posted by mrhappysad at 11:03 AM on September 7, 2005

I'm gonna get my Raid!
posted by mrhappysad at 11:04 AM on September 7, 2005

If they want to make an Avengers movie, base it on either The Ultimates or New Avengers. I favor the former only because it has Thor as a far-left Norse hippie god who only goes into action when Bush caves and signs a foreign-aid bill.
posted by Ber at 11:08 AM on September 7, 2005

man that is lame. lamest comics to ever lame and now they will make them into lame movies
posted by poppo at 11:11 AM on September 7, 2005

An Alpha Flight movie could be great, esp. if they evoke the FLQ...well, actually that might not be such a good idea. But still, Pink Pearl! How great would that be?

And a super-high-budget Thor movie set in Asgard would rule!

Also, there's already been a Swamp Thing movie and I can't imagine how it could be topped.
posted by stinkycheese at 11:17 AM on September 7, 2005

Pink Pearl! I have this issue signed by John Byrne.

/geek
posted by stinkycheese at 11:18 AM on September 7, 2005

An Ultimates-style Avenegers movie could be pretty interesting, if they were willing to take some risks. That's the only way I see the concept working.

Beyond that, this slate looks like a big load of bad. The Marvel slide in the past few years is really depressing... In the early years of the Jemas/Quesada regime, they really had their shit together and were doing interesting stuff all across the line. Now they seem afraid to take chances with anything, and just spit out dull pap. I want the Marvel Entertainment that gave us X-Statix, not the one that gave their blessing to the Elektra movie.
posted by COBRA! at 11:21 AM on September 7, 2005

Ant Man?
posted by Verdant at 11:28 AM on September 7, 2005

I'm still holding out for a revival...
posted by boo_radley at 11:32 AM on September 7, 2005

"The line of credit in question provides $525 million in funding."

Yeah, that will get you precisely TWO summer blockbuster quality level movies these days. And doesn't cover the marketing expenses or the attendant merchandise and inevitable video games. Both X-Men movies cost well over $100 mil to make, Spidey movies around $200 mil each.

Unless they think they can make 10 movies for $50 mil apiece, in which case all 10 of them will suck harder than the gateway to the Negative Zone.

As far as Silver Surfer, he probably won't get his own movie, since we'll probably see him in Fantastic 4 II: Cosmic Boogaloo.

Cap as a WWII period piece would be really awesome if they can do it right... Cap storming the beach at Anzio, hell yeah!
posted by zoogleplex at 11:34 AM on September 7, 2005

What elgilito said; knowing the industry, however, a live adaptation of Hugo Pratt's work:

1) Would revise Rasputin into a dimension-hopping sorcerer, intent on bridging the worlds of the living and the dead with a nearly-invincible army of giant robots.

2) Would call for historic characters from incorrect time periods encountering Corto - such as John Lennon and Sir Issac Netwon.

3) Rather than follow the quest for gold, would envision Corto aiming to locate Atlantis, which would contain a mysterious machine that could change the weather.

4) May opt to recast Corto's father as an unnamed American soldier, and his mother a Swiss nurse.

5) Aiming for wider audiences and hip appeal, would cast a caucasian pop starlet in the role of Gold Mouth.

6) Will inevitably feature a male lead who looks and dresses nothing at all like the main character.

7) Undoubtedly have Corto marry Venexiana Stevenson and travel to New York, where the two spend their honeymoon at the 1939 World's Fair.
posted by Smart Dalek at 11:42 AM on September 7, 2005

Ahem. That's Alpha Flight.

Whatever. They're Canadian ;)

*holding out for Power Man and Iron Fist*
posted by fet at 11:49 AM on September 7, 2005

klangklangston:
Lone Wolf and Cub has already been done. In the '70's. And it rocked hard core.

http://imdb.com/find?q=Lone%20Wolf%20and%20Cub;s=all

Chambara at it's finest.
posted by daq at 11:58 AM on September 7, 2005

Characters who could have really cool movies:
(Marvel)
...
New Mutants

I'd love that. It'd make a good kids movie, if nothing else.

On the DC side: Ambush Bug. I'd sell my mother for that.
posted by Kickstart70 at 11:59 AM on September 7, 2005

And you know, Lone Wolf & Cub was done again more recently.
posted by grabbingsand at 12:10 PM on September 7, 2005

It's the (in)sane choice: Reid Fleming, World's Toughest Milkman.
"I thought I told you to shut up!"
posted by Zack_Replica at 12:10 PM on September 7, 2005

The greatest superhero of them all might warrant a movie. But who would play him?
posted by QuietDesperation at 12:14 PM on September 7, 2005

I read somewhere on the Intermanets that Blade himself, Wesley Snipes, was very interested in playing T'Challa, The Black Panther.

Considering how he and David Goyer took a promising series and drove it into the ground, I am highly doubtful that the movie would not be a crapfest.

And now they've given golden boy Goyer the greenlight to do a Flash movie with Ryan Reynolds.

And Watchmen will never get made.
posted by willmize at 12:14 PM on September 7, 2005

Reid Fleming?! No way! I'm holding out for the Flaming Carrot.

Of course, it would probably end up just like The Mystery Men....
posted by lodurr at 12:16 PM on September 7, 2005

I'm waiting for a Caterer movie, myself.
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:16 PM on September 7, 2005

Replace Ant Man with Iron Man, Hawkeye with Silver Surfer, and the Avengers with Damage Control, Inc (and do it as the hilarious send-up that it would be), and you have a decent, doable, list. I mean, I'm not really keen on Power Pack, but I could see it happening; same thing with Cloak and Dagger, and like klangklangston said, Shang-Chi has Jet Li written all over it.Honestly, though - Ant Man and Hawkeye?
posted by eclectist at 12:20 PM on September 7, 2005

"in which case all 10 of them will suck harder than the gateway to the Negative Zone."
Dork.

What about The Invisibles? That'd kick all ass if, you know, the Warchoskis hadn't already tried their hand at ripping it off.
(And what about the JLE, when they took on Deconstructo?)

Or oooh... what about the Excalibur, especially when they were doing the dimension hopping?
posted by klangklangston at 12:23 PM on September 7, 2005

Power Pack had a tv pilot (unaired) made once, so someone thought it had promise.
posted by Karmakaze at 12:23 PM on September 7, 2005

Oh, Flaming Carrot, god... My dorkheart would explode.
posted by klangklangston at 12:25 PM on September 7, 2005

What about Green Lantern? Green Arrow? Iceman? Supergirl? She-Hulk (hubba hubba)?
posted by Kickstart70 at 12:27 PM on September 7, 2005

Or Guardians of the Galaxy? I think that would have the potential to be the worst Marvel movie possible. (Aside from maybe She-Hulk. Who would you get to play She-Hulk anyway?)

Or remember the '80s naming craze? Darkhawk and Deathlok are due for their own starring vehicles!

(Moon Knight could be done, and done well...)

I admit it. I'm going through my old comic cards. Anybody need the Hulk hologram? I've got doubles.
posted by klangklangston at 12:28 PM on September 7, 2005 [2 favorites]

I thought Jack Black was going Green Lantern?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 12:31 PM on September 7, 2005

" "in which case all 10 of them will suck harder than the gateway to the Negative Zone."
Dork."

Oh my yes. You didn't know that already? heh...

(disclaimer: I am a published comic book artist. very high on the nerd scale.)
posted by zoogleplex at 12:33 PM on September 7, 2005

Isn't Green Lantern DC?
posted by bshort at 12:37 PM on September 7, 2005

"This is terrible, this idea."

Most of these movies will su-diddily-uck.

However, there is an animated "Ultimates" movie coming out that blends the Ultimates and the Avengers. If Sam Jackson isn't playing Fury, I don't care, though.

PS: Ultimate Captain America and Ultimate Hulk rule.

Freddie Prinze Jr. can't love you like Hulk can, Betty!
posted by keswick at 12:47 PM on September 7, 2005

Well, what about The Reid Fleming & Flaming Carrot Crossover, with Fabio, Pavarotti, and Christopher Walken and vampires!
I'm seeing blockbuster!

Oh, and Watchmen. It'd be _amazing_ to see as a movie, but there are so few people who'd do it right and so many that would do it wrong, and the latter would get the funding and it'd suck like a cheap Hoover. You know it would.
posted by Zack_Replica at 12:50 PM on September 7, 2005

Dreadstar would make a decent flick if only for the anti-religious bend to it.

Deadpool would be entertaining.

I'd watch a movie based on Armor as well, maybe one or two of the other titles by that publisher who's name is escaping me right now. They also had CrazyMan and Toy Boy comics that were good.
posted by fenriq at 12:50 PM on September 7, 2005

What I'd like to see is either an animated or possibly "live action/CG'ed up the wazoo" of Cerebus by Dave Sims.

But that's just because I like the absurdity of it.
posted by daq at 12:50 PM on September 7, 2005

The sad part, for Marvel devotees, is that the various characters are being farmed out to different production companies, meaning that crossovers, the meat and potatoes of the Marvel Universe, will not happen. Each movie takes place in its own, lonely little pocket universe.

I second the vote for a Milk and Cheese movie. Booze up and riot!
posted by ToasT at 12:50 PM on September 7, 2005

Oh yeah, second the vote for Watchmen. It would be damned difficult to scrunch into a 2 hour flick though, maybe four 2 hour movies but one would be very, very hard to do.
posted by fenriq at 12:51 PM on September 7, 2005

but one would be very, very hard to do

Or very easy to do very badly.
posted by ToasT at 12:53 PM on September 7, 2005

Cloak and Dagger could be interesting, but for some reason I feel it will turn out to be another "Spawn" in terms of tone and what not.

Even as a kid I could tell that their symbiotic, dualistic, yin-and-yangness was a bit heavy handed.
posted by squarehead at 12:55 PM on September 7, 2005

Watchmen would make a great season's worth of an HBO show.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 12:55 PM on September 7, 2005

Watchmen would make a great season's worth of an HBO show.

Yep. That's the only way it should be approached, I think. Even then it's chancey.
posted by COBRA! at 1:07 PM on September 7, 2005

A movie adaptation of Milk & Cheese would only work if it was based on the Merv Griffin strip.
posted by ooga_booga at 1:11 PM on September 7, 2005

Thirding the HBO approach to Watchmen. It would really work better as a big mini-series rather than a two-hour movie.

I heard rumors a while back that Tom Cruise was interested in playing Iron Man (this was way before his whole Katie Holmes public batshitiness thing) and I think he wouldn't be too bad as the character.

(Am I the only one who wants to see a Runaways movie?)
posted by kosher_jenny at 1:18 PM on September 7, 2005

On preview, XQUZYPHYR's suggestion is much better. B:TAS kicked ass. (<3's Bruce Timm)
posted by kosher_jenny at 1:20 PM on September 7, 2005

A Justice Society of America movie would be cool.

Warning: your browser might resize
posted by WolfDaddy at 1:38 PM on September 7, 2005

They should make "Y the last man".
posted by signal at 1:44 PM on September 7, 2005

...Squint your eyes at "CLINT"

Does this mean you're not in favour of a CLINT FLICK?
posted by Robot Johnny at 1:45 PM on September 7, 2005

Luke Cage (only if he's the Hero for Hire version)
Ghost Rider
Dr. Strange
Iron Man (on the way, hope it doesn't suck)
Silver Surfer
Thor (maybe)

Forget about the rest.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 1:46 PM on September 7, 2005

"I second the vote for a Milk and Cheese movie. Booze up and riot!"

Or, just film Evan Dorkin hanging out and talking for a week, and cut the very best moments into a 3-hour epic. That guy is mind-bendingly funny and interesting to have a conversation with.
posted by zoogleplex at 1:48 PM on September 7, 2005

Why no one want make Hulk 2?
posted by mikeh at 1:48 PM on September 7, 2005

You know how you make a comic-book based movie that doesn't suck? You work straight off of Frank Miller's panels as your storyboard.
posted by signal at 1:51 PM on September 7, 2005

but holy lord, Power Pack? The only Power Pack related item I ever had was an advertisement

Huh. Well then I'm not sure how qualified your comments are. But remember, if this happens to you it is NOT YOUR FAULT.

I liked some Power Pack. Not much, but in the comic book world there's a hell of a lot lower to go. And for the Hollywoody, kid-centric style that Marvel has been cranking the films out in, it seems like a good enough idea. It's a title they can cater to kids and not actually screw up.

Why in hell would they ever bother touching Hawkeye, though? That doof was never anything but some crusty NYer's idea of what Californians are supposed to be like.
posted by scarabic at 1:51 PM on September 7, 2005

My list would be

Iron Man
Silver Surfer
Sandman
Green Arrow
The Tick

oh, and The Watchmen, if done right. PLEASE.
posted by dreamsign at 1:53 PM on September 7, 2005

A Watchmen movie *will* suck. A Watchmen mini-series on HBO, on the other hand... could rule.
posted by keswick at 2:00 PM on September 7, 2005

Um, Kirth Gerson, you were aware of this, yes? Ghost Rider Official / Imdb.
(crosses fingers, hopes for a good flick, or at least a not-bad movie and no sequels.)
posted by Zack_Replica at 2:01 PM on September 7, 2005

let's try those links again... wonder twin powers activate, form of official site / imdb.
posted by Zack_Replica at 2:05 PM on September 7, 2005

jdroth, Bendis was closely associated with the MTV animated Spider-man cartoon if you're not aware. All out on DVD and at your local Lackluster Video. Worth a look.
posted by phearlez at 2:17 PM on September 7, 2005

Please, please, please: dear mother of God, please:

Do not let anyone make films based on the works of Alan Moore or Grant Morrison. They are way, way, way too conceptual for that. Way. Moore's heavily footnoted characterization and Morrison's fascination with mimetic autopoiesis do not lend themselves to cinema.

Anyone making movies about superheros needs to knock it off and throw more whiskey and smokes at Warren Ellis. Now there's a man what could write a screenplay.

Can you imagine a Planetary or Global Frequency plot as a film?

Brian Michael Bendis needs a damn movie or three as well.

And a fuckin' amen to the whiskey-tango-foxtrot reaction to yes for Ant-Man but no for Alias (which has, mind you, some of the best Luke Cage material ever).

I'm gonna read some comics now.
posted by Coda at 2:18 PM on September 7, 2005

The Watchmen was written in an episodic format, why change that?
Use the GN as a storyboard, cast Joe Piscopo as the Comedian, et voila!

The alternate reality of the GN holds true, why alter it?
posted by Sphinx at 2:19 PM on September 7, 2005

How about Mort, the Dead Teenager?
posted by cell divide at 2:23 PM on September 7, 2005

Coda: Can you imagine a Planetary or Global Frequency plot as a film?

Yep, you're right on the money with that one. I'd choose G.F. over Planetary*, as one may as well assume that most of the moviegoing public wouldn't 'get' the various Superhero/Pulp comics references, as some are more oblique than others (the FF is easy to spot, but I'm sure most don't know of Doc Savage).

*Though I think they're both amazing.
posted by Zack_Replica at 2:32 PM on September 7, 2005

Someone needs to stop this onslaught of superhero movies before it destroys Hollywood forever. How about Captain LawyerGuy!
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 2:34 PM on September 7, 2005

Jonny the homicidal maniac, bitches.
posted by sandking at 3:18 PM on September 7, 2005

Happy Noodle Boy.
posted by homunculus at 3:38 PM on September 7, 2005

I'd like to see a Space Moose movie.
"You can't do that, Space!
"I can do whatever I want; I'm the master of time!
posted by keswick at 3:45 PM on September 7, 2005

I just wish someone would make a decent Judge Dredd movie.
posted by Joeforking at 4:00 PM on September 7, 2005

I'd nearly forgotten about Jonny! I always hoped that he and Lenore the Cute Little Dead Girl woulda got together and slayed some people and made sa-weeet looove.
All done by Tim Burton. Hmm. That'd rock, actually...
posted by Zack_Replica at 4:07 PM on September 7, 2005

Characters who could have really cool movies:

D.C.:
Vigilante

Yeah, bitches. People forget Vig was a DC character... now those were some extreme storylines.

Also, I'd like to take this opportunity to clarify something:

Captain America, Black Panther and Hawkeye were all part of the Avengers, so the title is a bit redundant. Of course, so was Spider-Man, but he resigned. Anyway, the point is, I'm a comic book geek, but at least I have the entire Avengers series (X-Men, too!) So there.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:14 PM on September 7, 2005

The Avengers, I think, would never work because you couldn't sum up 4-5 origin stories plus a plot in two hours. X-Men were sort of easier: okay, we're all mutants. Done.

And unless they're already doing it, I don't understand why half those properties are on the list and Iron Man isn't.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 1:35 PM EST on September 7

I'm a big geek, not to mention something of a writer myself and I'm of the opinion that origin stories are unnecessary - if a story is written well, you can drop an audience into the thick of things and force them to understand what each character's powers are. Did Wolverine have an origin in the X-Men movie? Any of them, besides Magneto? See. It's up to the writer to demonstrate the characters and their attributes with a minimum of on-the-nose exposition.

And Coda, Global Frequency is already a half-done deal - it was going to be a mid-season pick-up on the WB, but the Frog got cold feet. There's an EXCELLENT GF pilot (my review) floating out on BitTorrent, leaked by some angel someplace. The Executive Producer, John Rogers, spent half of his summer talking about it on his blog. The internet leak has given the show something of a second chance, but nothing's written in stone yet.

And XQUZYPHYR, The Ultimates and Bendis' New Avengers are tight enough that a skilled creative team could make a good film from either, but it would be far more economical to make an Ultimates movie.
posted by vhsiv at 4:15 PM on September 7, 2005

YOu didn't hear it from me, but Johnny Depp has been approached to play Brother Power the Geek. And he's very, very interested.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 4:18 PM on September 7, 2005

Did anyone here see Man-Thing? He was always one of my favorite Marvel characters that no one ever heard of.

I learned just now that this existed!
posted by starscream at 4:19 PM on September 7, 2005

Also, I hereby nominate Julianne Moore as The Scarlet Witch. I would have gone with Kirsten Dunst, but, well... she's Peter Parker's girl now.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:19 PM on September 7, 2005

vhsiv - thank you for that GF info!
posted by Zack_Replica at 4:20 PM on September 7, 2005

How about The Authority. That'd be a fun 'un.
posted by klangklangston at 4:25 PM on September 7, 2005

i'm not good at this comic-geek game. . . but has anyone mentioned aeon flux yet?
posted by gorgor_balabala at 4:31 PM on September 7, 2005

I wanna see a Bipolar Bear movie.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:51 PM on September 7, 2005

Anyone know when this film about Lobo will be made/released?
posted by Kickstart70 at 5:00 PM on September 7, 2005

Kickstart: God willing, never.
posted by klangklangston at 5:06 PM on September 7, 2005

I'm hoping Aeon Flux won't be a stinker. I thought the cartoons were really well done as the animation, artwork and expecially the stories didn't follow conventional stylings, and maybe, just maybe the movie'll be as edgy too.

Also, I'm hoping V for Vendetta won't be too poopy, but I haven't really read much about the general feelings about it (and AICN doesn't really count much, as they freak over everything).
posted by Zack_Replica at 5:16 PM on September 7, 2005

Fourth for the Watchmen, but again, it must be a HBO series. But we definitely need a decent Marvel movie, because Brett Ratner is going to skull-fuck X-3 about ten different ways.

And does anyone know when the Batman Begins DVD comes out. I'm starting to jones for that.
posted by Ber at 5:47 PM on September 7, 2005

I'd watch an Authority movie. But only if Seth the Bionic Hillbilly was in it :)
posted by kaemaril at 5:47 PM on September 7, 2005

But Ryan Reynolds would be a good Flash. All wisecracky and cocky with a hint of overbearing self-doubt. That's what the Flash should be
posted by thecjm at 6:15 PM on September 7, 2005

Am I the only person on the planet who thought Daredevil wasn't bad? I mean, it had its share of problems, but it wasn't awful. I'd see a sequel (which might get made, but probably not). Now Elektra... that's a stinker.

And honestly, I wouldn't mind a Hulk 2. The first had enough promise that a 2nd one could be good if they tightened up the writing.

An Avengers movie will blow chunks, because unlike X-Men, there's no common theme tying the characters together. Too many disparate characters, too many different backstories, too complicated, a 2 hour movie that blows.

A Black Panther movie could be good, if they had balls and did a kind of Constant Gardner thing with BP going up against corrupt companies trying to exploit his country. Wakanda as the state that stands up to the Western rape of Africa.

Captain America I think might be OK, but they'd have to go 1 of 2 ways with it. 1) completely WW2, fighting the Red Skull, etc. Or, 2) first 1/4 in WW2, then the frozen in ice story. Cap wakes up in 2005, finds himself out of place in a USA that doesn't match up to his ideal of self-sacrifice and freedom, leads a rebellion of the people. But, not likely to happen.

I agree with whomever said a Runaways movie would be good. That could be a great film for the teen crowd.
Hawkeye is, honestly, pretty gay. A Green Arrow film would be much better, because he's a much more interesting character.
From what I've heard, Iron Man might star Leo Dicaprio as Tony Stark, but I don't know if that's still the case. And the Rock was rumored to play Silver Surfer. Those again could be good, but they'd have to play up the trippy cosmic aspects of the Surfer, and not just some big dude who body slams people.

The only other Marvel movie that I want to see (besides X-Men 3 and the spinoffs which are in pre-production, Wolverine and Magneto) would be Supreme Power. Come on man, that would be the shit.
Powers, which Marvel now publishes, was optioned by Frank Oz a while back, but I don't know what's happening with that. It is one of the best continuing series on the market, though.

Besides additional Batman films, DC should do a Green Arrow movie, maybe a Green Lantern movie too (no, Jack Black is not going to be GL. That was mostly rumor, I think). And I know Goyer is doing Flash, but I don't think Ryan Reynolds is official.

Honestly, most of their really good stuff is in the Vertigo imprint. A Preacher movie has long been in development, with Cyclops from X-Men starring. Also, Ex Machina is in development, with Brian Vaughn writing the screenplay. A Sandman (Gaiman version) movie wouldn't fly, because the story is just too big to do in 2 hours. Y the last Man has been optioned, I believe, but I'm not sure what's coming of it. Personally, I'd love to see an ongoing animated series of Fables, but done on HBO so they could keep the adult aspects of it, but that's never gonna happen. They could do an interesting movie with that, though.

But, you know, all these other characters, like Sub-Mariner, Ant Man, even Cloak and Dagger who are, admittedly, kinda cool, they just won't work because the potential market to watch a guy who can shrink down to ant size just isn't big enough, thus the movie won't get a decent budget, which will mean it will suck even more, and thus have even less of a potential audience. Rather than making 10 films based on some questionable choices of characters, Marvel should make 3 films based on solid characters, and use the money to hire good actors, directors, and screenwriters.

Oh, and as others have said, no one should be allowed to touch anything Alan Moore does, because no one except a true visionary with free reign and a huge budget would be able to do it justice (Imagine: Watchmen, directed by Stanley Kubrick. Or maybe not)
posted by papakwanz at 6:23 PM on September 7, 2005

Papakwanz: The story being big isn't what stops Sandman; what stops Sandman is the same thing that stops Watchmen— that it's really an example of comics at their highest form, and translating it inot a different medium would rob the piece of some of what makes it great.
But a silver age Sandman could totally be done (with his gas mask).
And what about the Invisibles? Too bad the Matrix took a lot of its best ideas...
posted by klangklangston at 6:53 PM on September 7, 2005

If I could mark best answers here, they'd go to the last two comments from papakwanz and klangklangston. I especially like this:

The story being big isn't what stops Sandman; what stops Sandman is the same thing that stops Watchmen— that it's really an example of comics at their highest form, and translating it inot a different medium would rob the piece of some of what makes it great.

On the way home from work, I picked up the first Invisibles and Alias compilations. Those are two series I haven't checked out yet. I'm on my way downstairs to take a hot bath and read comic books — i.e. paradise.
posted by jdroth at 7:20 PM on September 7, 2005

A Watchmen mini-series on HBO, on the other hand... could rule.

Ooh, me like.
posted by dreamsign at 8:08 PM on September 7, 2005

Screw you guys, Power Pack rocked. I have every issue.
posted by oddman at 8:42 PM on September 7, 2005

Reid Fleming! Years ago, 1982 it would be, I had a brief conversation with David Boswell, who said Dave Thomas and Rick Moranis were interested in doing something with Reid Fleming. It obviously never happened. Peter Boyle would have been great for it back then, but he's too old now. Pity.

Even I haven't seen the Man-Thing movie.
posted by Man-Thing at 9:24 PM on September 7, 2005

Ber - amazon.com sez Oct 18 although I've been badly burnt on the release/availability on other things by their .ca affiliate.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 10:05 PM on September 7, 2005

If they make the Dr. Strange movie, they'd better get Ed Asner to play Baron Mordo.

Or maybe Rosie O'Donnell. She'd have to cultivate the mustache a little more...
posted by Darkman at 10:54 PM on September 7, 2005

When you find yourself in danger,
When you're threatened by a stranger
...
Call for Super Chicken!
(buk, buk, buk, buk!)
posted by rob511 at 2:54 AM on September 8, 2005

Here's a question for you (us) comic nerds - does anyone have a link to a complete list of all the various comic book movies that have been made?

I want to put together a complete library, from the good to the terrible, but I'm too lazy/not obsessive enough to do the research on my own.
posted by Irontom at 4:59 AM on September 8, 2005

When you are ready to have a serious conversation about Green Lantern, you have my e-mail address.
posted by pracowity at 5:56 AM on September 8, 2005

When you are ready to have a serious conversation about Green Lantern, you have my e-mail address.

Y'know, pulling out that quote reminded me that the Onion's archives are free now, and I went back and reread the story. I'm impressed; whoever wrote that for the Onion really knows their shit.

Oh, and Guy Gardner is clearly the greatest GL of them all.
posted by COBRA! at 6:45 AM on September 8, 2005

I've got a great idea...........Howard The Duck! {crickets}
posted by reidfleming at 11:16 AM on September 8, 2005

Latest rumor on Ant-Man is that it will be a comedy directed by Edgar Wright of "Shaun of the Dead" fame. Now that... that might work.
posted by papakwanz at 1:46 PM on September 8, 2005

Kwanz: If by "work" you mean "suck."
posted by klangklangston at 10:20 PM on September 8, 2005

Oh come on man, Edgar Wright doing it as a kind of lovable send-up of comic book heroes, just the way Shaun of the Dead was a lovable send-up of zombie movies... if anyone could do anything with a lame property like Ant Man, it'd be Wright.

That said, it's pie-in-the-sky rumor for now anyway.
posted by papakwanz at 9:57 PM on September 9, 2005

I realize I am nearly a month late to this conversation, but I would just like to say that you all are wrong and oddman is right. Power Pack rocked (or, at least, it did for the first few years.)

Plus, when I was 12, I had a huge crush on Louise Simonson, the series' author.
posted by yankeefog at 12:51 AM on October 1, 2005