Zod for President
October 7, 2005 11:38 AM Subscribe
Vote for Your Ruler: "Instead of hidden agendas and waffling policies, I offer you direct candor and brutal certainty."
The Iraq War has shifted $187 billion to the defense industry. How is this "defense industry" to kneel before me? Are my praises to be sung as footnotes in their paperwork? You will stop giving these corporations your wealth. I suggest you put the money into your own schools and health care, so that I may have intelligent, healthy servants.
Zod's a lefty. Whooda thunk?
posted by Hobbacocka at 12:37 PM on October 7, 2005
Zod's a lefty. Whooda thunk?
posted by Hobbacocka at 12:37 PM on October 7, 2005
If Zod wins, will Lex Luthor be ruler of Australia?
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:37 PM on October 7, 2005
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:37 PM on October 7, 2005
Child, let me explain something quite important to you. Under my new order, I allow you to live. In return for your obedience, you enjoy my generous protection. I expect tribute.
Mmm. I'd rather vote for McCain.
posted by nervousfritz at 2:17 PM on October 7, 2005
Mmm. I'd rather vote for McCain.
posted by nervousfritz at 2:17 PM on October 7, 2005
Waitaminnit, is he eligible? Does he count as a natural born citizen? I know he's gonna override the Constitution and all, but does he have to be sworn in first?
posted by nickmark at 2:34 PM on October 7, 2005
posted by nickmark at 2:34 PM on October 7, 2005
As for me, I'll be voting for the brilliant and humble Zen Master This.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 2:53 PM on October 7, 2005
posted by ZenMasterThis at 2:53 PM on October 7, 2005
frankly this guy would make a wonderful president...we need a nice tyrant. someone who doesnt take shit from anyone but has truly good intentions in mind. and because no earthling is gonna cut it, i say zod in 08
posted by stilgar at 2:57 PM on October 7, 2005
posted by stilgar at 2:57 PM on October 7, 2005
How would he manage to win the election? No-one will vote for him! His only hope would be if somehow the votes were to be counted by some computer with no paper record so he could change the result with no-one knowing... oh... All Hail Zod!
posted by alasdair at 3:13 PM on October 7, 2005
posted by alasdair at 3:13 PM on October 7, 2005
BMBFFA joecacti, I'm trying to piss off Zod.
I checked google and came up with nothing on BMBFFA. What does it mean?
posted by ktoad at 3:24 PM on October 7, 2005
I checked google and came up with nothing on BMBFFA. What does it mean?
posted by ktoad at 3:24 PM on October 7, 2005
Bite me big fat effing arse, ktoad. Or words to that effect.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:15 PM on October 7, 2005
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:15 PM on October 7, 2005
No one knows, Jon-o.
It'd be a tough decision, between Walken and Zod. I think I'd still go for Walken, but I'm not American, so, no big deal what I think. (nice pic, davelog.)
posted by blacklite at 6:18 PM on October 7, 2005
It'd be a tough decision, between Walken and Zod. I think I'd still go for Walken, but I'm not American, so, no big deal what I think. (nice pic, davelog.)
posted by blacklite at 6:18 PM on October 7, 2005
Bet Zod plays hide the salami any old time he likes.
posted by humannature at 6:38 PM on October 7, 2005
posted by humannature at 6:38 PM on October 7, 2005
Don't I feel like a chump. I almost bought it, too.
It could have been the wishful thinking...
posted by Jon-o at 7:11 PM on October 7, 2005
It could have been the wishful thinking...
posted by Jon-o at 7:11 PM on October 7, 2005
Bite me big fat effing arse, ktoad. Or words to that effect.
Awesome.
posted by Kwantsar at 8:04 PM on October 7, 2005
Awesome.
posted by Kwantsar at 8:04 PM on October 7, 2005
I'd be far happier with the Bush if his administration was candid about it's evil.
posted by panoptican at 8:17 PM on October 7, 2005
posted by panoptican at 8:17 PM on October 7, 2005
One problem: he announced in Philadelphia. Not gonna happen. They'd throw beer cans at Jesus in Philly, let alone somebody like Zod, unless he were born here. Think Frank Rizzo.
posted by Peach at 9:02 AM on October 8, 2005
posted by Peach at 9:02 AM on October 8, 2005
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Will there be sexual repression as a result of your rule? We need a ruler that will force people to deny their own innate sex instinct, thereby becoming anal-retentive, orally fixated, and immersed in guilt. Wanton cruelty from an authority figure is a step in the right direction, but I believe that through sexual repression, we can dramatically increase the selfishness, anger, anxiety, depression, self-doubt and narcissistic viciousness between people. We need your strong leadership to further our own self-hatred.
What more can one ask for in a ruler?
posted by leftcoastbob at 11:43 AM on October 7, 2005