More Joe Than You Know.

October 31, 2005 7:14 PM

"Help! My Joe Broke in Half!" From 1982 to 2005, The Complete Guide to G. I. Joe is one man's "one-stop shop" for the die-hard G. I. Joe aficionado, including (but not limited to) theme song lyrics, cartoon transcripts and the aforementioned action figure repair procedure.
posted by grabbingsand (19 comments total)

so, well. um, does he invite the Sunday school boys to see his G.I. Joe collection?
posted by longsleeves at 7:31 PM on October 31, 2005

I can't help but wonder if this is the site run by a freak-job former co-worker of my sister-in-law. One of her best cocktail-party stories is about this guy, an adult, who was obsessed with his G. I. Joe collection. He posed them into scenarios and recorded them on film. He'd often turn down the after-work drink invitation with a gruff "Gotta dress the Joes."
posted by Miko at 7:35 PM on October 31, 2005

Porkchop sandwiches.
posted by secret about box at 7:39 PM on October 31, 2005

We used to take Jade and make her do what would later be known as the "Spinning Flying Kick" when Street Fighter came out. One day, I wound her up too many times and snapped the rubber band inside. I think it was one of the proudest days of my youth (scholastic achievements? feh!) when I figured out how to fix her.
posted by Eideteker at 7:49 PM on October 31, 2005

Well, that just sucked away about an hour of my life. Still, it's nice to wallow in nostalgia every now and again.

I used to have epic ninja battles between Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow (the story of those two, and the figures themselves were pretty cool).

As my friends and I got older, we stopped playing with them as "dolls" and instead worked up elaborate sets of rules for massive wargames that would sprawl across the basement floor. To add realism, old and broken figures were used as "casualities". A little a little red nail polish (stolen from someones mom or sister) went a long way, and the rubber O-Ring that held them together made for excellent "guts".

It was so utterly dorktastic.
posted by aladfar at 7:58 PM on October 31, 2005

Now I can fix them after I make them dance in the microwave.
posted by Jon-o at 8:00 PM on October 31, 2005

And this seems like an appropriate and worthwhile time to bring out the Fensler Film archives. Sadly forced down from the FF site, the nonetheless live on!

Porkchop sandwiches, indeed.
posted by aladfar at 8:06 PM on October 31, 2005

wow. the detailed information that guy has on the joes is nutso indeedy.

my favorite was sticking firecrackers in their O-ring and blowing them up.

or melting them with a magnify glass when there weren't any ants left.

And knowing is half the battle!
posted by Gankmore at 8:07 PM on October 31, 2005

If you were aiming for "gay marine", I don't think you could do much better than Gung-Ho.
posted by smackfu at 8:48 PM on October 31, 2005

Sarge said all kinds of funny things about how dumb the G.I. Joe team is. Like, they just have one person who's good at each thing they do. So they just have one guy who can fly a plane, and one guy who knows how to drive a tank, one guy who can fly a helicopter, one guy who can fight in the desert, and so on. They even have a whole aircraft carrier (for their one plane and one helicopter) with just a captain and one sailor to run it! Sarge was like, "What the heck kind of outfit is that?" and we were all just in stitches. Then this one recruit (I think it was Renfro, but I didn't get a good look at his eyebrows) says, "But if they're so dumb, how come they always beat us?"

- From Journal of a COBRA recruit
posted by growli at 8:53 PM on October 31, 2005

Growli, that was even written by a Mefi member.

I like Gi Joes though I'm probably going to sell off most of my collection to get a new apartment or maybe some sweet bike rims.
posted by dial-tone at 10:07 PM on October 31, 2005

Also, I liked the site, but ended up picking up the book guide to the Joes for it.
posted by dial-tone at 10:09 PM on October 31, 2005

"Snow Job" is the best action figure name ever.
posted by ryanissuper at 10:45 PM on October 31, 2005

I can't help but wonder if this is the site run by a freak-job former co-worker of my sister-in-law.

Hey, if G.I. Joes help keep this guy together enough to stay gainfully employed and not shooting a rifle at random pedestrians from the nearest clock tower, I am all for it.

Everybody's got their something. Some are just better at hiding it than others.
posted by jonp72 at 11:39 PM on October 31, 2005

As long as you're geeking out to military-figurine collectibles, here's about a zillion pictures of Ultimate Soldier collections.
posted by alumshubby at 3:28 AM on November 1, 2005

Hey, if G.I. Joes help keep this guy together enough to stay gainfully employed and not shooting a rifle at random pedestrians from the nearest clock tower, I am all for it.

Good point: this is probably serving that exact function in society.
posted by Miko at 7:00 AM on November 1, 2005

Oh, dear. My Joe is broken too. But, I can't complain. I married him that way. Caveat Emptor!!
posted by laurenbove at 1:42 PM on November 1, 2005

If you were aiming for "gay marine", I don't think you could do much better than Gung-Ho.
posted by smackfu at 10:48 PM CST on October 31 [!]

Yeah, I'm really amazed about that now.

And will any action figure ever be cooler than The Fridge, with his giant football mace?
posted by COBRA! at 1:55 PM on November 1, 2005

My favorite thing to do was to send Snow Job and Blow Torch out on a secret mission.
posted by banishedimmortal at 10:12 AM on November 2, 2005