i dunno what do you want to do?

November 5, 2005 4:57 PM

things to do when you are bored Have a "Who is less competitive" competition wonder (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.
posted by elemenopee (40 comments total)

post first
posted by 0of1 at 5:08 PM on November 5, 2005

i usually just smoke a bowl. but this could work too.
posted by wakko at 5:17 PM on November 5, 2005

so much better than sin and devilry. i am useless all anew. thank you so much!
posted by gorgor_balabala at 5:29 PM on November 5, 2005

I clicked on that and then I got distracted by something shiny on my desk and then I had to go pee
posted by RylandDotNet at 5:33 PM on November 5, 2005

Are you saying I should go out on a Saturday night?
posted by MillMan at 5:38 PM on November 5, 2005

I am staring at the posts.
posted by toma at 5:50 PM on November 5, 2005

I am thrusting my fists against the posts.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:55 PM on November 5, 2005

Yes, that one too.
posted by toma at 6:01 PM on November 5, 2005

I am still insisting I see a ghost.
posted by Viomeda at 6:07 PM on November 5, 2005

Don't do the first one. Ikkyu, our resident medical commentator, says pressing on your eyes is pretty dangerous. Worth an email to those guys, actually.
posted by abcde at 6:08 PM on November 5, 2005

Then again, having now read anything but the first one, it advocates worse stuff than that.
posted by abcde at 6:28 PM on November 5, 2005

I just lost The Game.
posted by rhiannon at 6:32 PM on November 5, 2005

How dangerous, precisely?
posted by TwelveTwo at 6:34 PM on November 5, 2005

would you say it's on par with standing on the edge of a cliff with your eyes closed? worse?
posted by carsonb at 6:41 PM on November 5, 2005

I thought that was what metafilter was for?
posted by blue_beetle at 6:57 PM on November 5, 2005

How about: "Try to swallow your tongue
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
There's not much to say about this one. It is possible. A character kills himself by that method in Silence of the Lambs, though I guess it could be okay in real life.
posted by grobstein at 7:25 PM on November 5, 2005

" pressing on your eyes is pretty dangerous"

I think I'd try that before attempting to swallow my tongue.

But I think I'd have to be a bit more bored than I am now to try either.
posted by Larzarus at 7:25 PM on November 5, 2005

"it advocates worse stuff than that"

like: Try to not think about penguins

definitely do not try this without expert supervision...I know a guy who did this and ended up in the hospital for six weeks. He still has the scars.
posted by Larzarus at 7:29 PM on November 5, 2005

I was trying to think about penguins. I was enjoying the little guys. Then my dog came in the room, saw the penguins and barked. This frightenend the penguins and they waddled away. Now I have nothing to think about.
Is this a fun game?
posted by Cranberry at 8:22 PM on November 5, 2005

Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning

I do this all the time. In my head. Especially with the phrase "jacket pocket" which has, because of this activity, completely lost all meaning to me. If I hear someone use "jacket pocket" in a conversation, I try, in a subtle sorta way, to make them repeat it If subtlety fails, I outright tell them to say "jacket pocket" again.

No one, as of yet, seems to mind.

jacket pocket
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 8:45 PM on November 5, 2005

Dammit, rhiannon. Now I've lost too.
posted by Jon-o at 9:39 PM on November 5, 2005

As far as the whole eye thing goes, I should take the pencil out then?
posted by Samizdata at 9:46 PM on November 5, 2005

"Is this a fun game?"

yes. you had fun.
posted by Larzarus at 9:53 PM on November 5, 2005

until it loses meaning
The word "negative" is really weird to me, whenever I take the time to think about it. It's got such strong consonsants and stuff that it sounds like you're trying to be an instrument in some odd acapella song. Negative negative negative negative. Say it out loud. It's weird. Negative negative negative. Ne gative. Negative negative.

On the other hand, I am full of cough syrup right now, fighting off some inconvenient virii, so maybe you should just ignore this comment entirely.

Negative negative negative
posted by blacklite at 10:10 PM on November 5, 2005

Nothing worse than finding out I missed the fact I had fun because no one saw fit to tell me...
posted by Samizdata at 10:26 PM on November 5, 2005

TwelveTwo: I dunno, but clearly enough that you shouldn't do it.
posted by abcde at 10:53 PM on November 5, 2005

Aaaaaaarrrrrrggghhh!!!!
Nnnnggnnmnnnngggnnnrrrrrnnnrnr nnnrnnnrgggghhhh!!!

/* slaps own neck */
/* pulls out tongue from throat */


Well, that certainly wasn't much fun.

And I'm *still* bored.
posted by sour cream at 12:22 AM on November 6, 2005

The Great Big Mulp writes "I do this all the time. In my head. Especially with the phrase 'jacket pocket' which has, because of this activity, completely lost all meaning to me. If I hear someone use 'jacket pocket' in a conversation, I try, in a subtle sorta way, to make them repeat it If subtlety fails, I outright tell them to say 'jacket pocket' again."

I read this as "jackpot pocket" all the way through the first time, which made no sense to me whatsoever. I guess picking a non-sensical phrase and repeating it over and over until it starts to have some meaning is a sure-fire way to develop some interesting psychoses...
posted by benzo8 at 1:48 AM on November 6, 2005

* Look at every object in the room and try to think of how you could make an interesting and coherent FPP about the item. Try to fit as many of the objects as possible into one FPP.

Then imagine the comments you'd get, the MeTa callout, and the flamewar.
posted by agropyron at 2:29 AM on November 6, 2005

I ate something yesterday and then it seamed as though I was still hungry so I then I ate something else. I don't think that I am as bored as I was just a moment ago.
posted by 0of1 at 3:05 AM on November 6, 2005

Jon-O, I believe losing The Game doesn't count if you lost because someone else pointed out they lost, you get a grace period. Which doesn't help me much, as I lost independently. I didn't even think I was playing, but upon seeing the post, realised that, unfortunately, I was, sneaky little meme that it is.

In Vancouver's Science World there's a biofeedback "game" where two of you sit at a table, watching a ping poing ball which moves either towards you or your opponent, depending on who's most relaxed - it's pretty nifty - if you see it coming towards you, your instinct is to try and "win", which makes you less relaxed, causing you to lose - it's pretty much the "who's less competetive" game made concrete.

I lost. I bet I'd win next time, though.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 4:07 AM on November 6, 2005

Look at every object in the room and try to think of how you could make an interesting and coherent FPP about the item. Try to fit as many of the objects as possible into one FPP.

STOP PLAYING KATAMARI DAMANCY. YOU HAVE PERMANENTLY DAMAGED YOUR BRAIN.
posted by loquacious at 6:55 AM on November 6, 2005

Push your eyes for interesting light show
Did that when I was six. Then I discovered mushrooms and acid.

See how long you can hold your breath
Five minutes and fifty-one seconds. I was a young, non-smoking surfer back then. Though I can still break 2-3 minutes with ease.

Try to not think about penguins
Okay.

Use your secret mind power
Hey, where'd your underwear go?

Scratch yourself
As required as breathing. Not a boredom eliminator.

Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning
Fuck.

Hurt yourself
Give me some whiskey.

Try to swallow your tongue
Give me whiskey, or I'll swallow yours.

Pretend to be a car
Cars need fuel. Give me whiskey.

Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, study after image
*screams in mortal terror*

Get yourself as nauseated as possible
*loads whitehouse.gov, throws up*

See what's in your neighbour's rubbish/trash
What's grosser than ten dead babies in one trash can?

Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent
I have various Super Mario games for that.

Send spooky emails
I'm not allowed to do that any more. Court order.

Play our useless games
Heh.

Make prank phone calls
Nor that.

Pretend all humans will die except for people in room with you
FINALLY. THE PLANET IS ALL MINE! MINE I SAY! MUHAHAHAHA!

Step off a curb with eyes shut, imagine it's a cliff
*gets struck by bus, dies*

Try and sound Welsh
GIVE ME WHISKY.

Burn things with a magnifying glass
I'd love to, but burning things is the numero uno thing I'm not allowed to do any more. Who woulda thought that that old building was fulla nuns?

Have a water drinking contest
See answer number one. Also: Whisky.

Stare at the back of someone's head until they turn around
Even better, stare at the back of someone's head until it explodes.

Have a "Who is less competitive" competition
I win.

Pick up a dog so it can see things from your point of view
Is this a euphamism?

Pull out a hair, stick in someone's ear
What if their ear is already full of hair? Can I pull one of those out and put it back in?

Pour water in hand, make sneeze noise, throw water on back of person's neck
The last person that did that to me recieved a complimentary taste of their own asshole. Now they sneeze into their upper colon. When we get bored we sprinkle ground black pepper on him.

Hey, awesome! Being an uppity smartass just saved me from 10 minutes of boredom. Thanks!
posted by loquacious at 7:28 AM on November 6, 2005

me too :( this post sucks, but at least it killed 5 minutes.
posted by muddgirl at 11:34 AM on November 6, 2005

Don't do the water drinking contest, either.
posted by abcde at 1:05 PM on November 6, 2005

fuck you all with this goddamn game, which has permanently colonized a part of my mind. ugh.
posted by ori at 2:13 PM on November 6, 2005

Somebody call?
posted by you just lost the game at 6:18 AM on November 7, 2005

Oh, holy crap. I don't think that one is covered in the rulebooks with a grace period.

*loses*
posted by loquacious at 9:33 AM on November 7, 2005

mr_crash_davis/viomeda: are you guys quoting Buck 65?
posted by jon_kill at 10:31 AM on November 7, 2005

posted by Smedleyman at 4:41 PM on November 7, 2005