A Penny Slug for Peace

December 13, 2005 7:27 AM

♪ Somebody snitched on me ♫
Nuttin' for Christmas by Stan Freberg is one of those old-time favorites that's simply too cynical to be considered a holiday classic. When Strange Reaction [mefi] posted a selection of punk Christmas tunes, I was introduced to the Vindictives cover version [mp3 nsfw] which takes some amusing liberties with the lyrics. After some googling, it seems Nuttin' for Christmas is a song for which people love creating their own words, often in poor taste. But the original [midi] itself extends of an ancient yule tradition of releasing pent up negativity and resolving to begin the new year all straight edge and shit. What MetaFilter dog race will you let go of this year?
posted by If I Had An Anus (15 comments total)

Freberg's Green Christmas was a cutting look at Xmas advertising. PBS even dramatized it, back in the days before PBS belonged to Corporate America like verything else. This from a guy who made wildly funny and original commercials.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:12 AM on December 13, 2005

I made a stupid double post,
Somebody snitched on me!
I self-link my own site and boast,
Somebody snitched on me!
Gave bad advice within the Green,
Asked someone, "what does . mean?"
Called someone a drama queen,
Somebody snitched on me!
posted by Robot Johnny at 8:26 AM on December 13, 2005

That's exactly the sort of thing I was hoping for, Robot Johnny, but was too dull to come up with myself. Thanks.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:35 AM on December 13, 2005

Wait, I forgot the chorus!

Ohhhhh, I'm getting taken to MetaTalk for Christmas
To what will all of this amount?
You all sure has heck will be sorry
When I start up my sock puppet account
posted by Robot Johnny at 8:41 AM on December 13, 2005

Good work, RJ, but the verse was better, 'cause it scanned.
posted by soyjoy at 8:51 AM on December 13, 2005

Yeah I know -- I forced the chorus.
posted by Robot Johnny at 8:58 AM on December 13, 2005

Terrific, Robot, and I love this post. But does anyone have a link to an MP3 of the original? I must hear it!
posted by LarryC at 9:12 AM on December 13, 2005

I was just thinking about that song this morning in the shower, and lo, it was posted on MeFi. I need to go take another shower and think about lottery numbers.
posted by Foosnark at 9:36 AM on December 13, 2005

Ohhhh, I'm gettin' MeTa'd for Christmas!
Mathowie and jess'myn are mad!
I'm gettin' MeTa'd for Christmas,
'Cuz all of my comments are bad.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:30 AM on December 13, 2005

Hey! This song, along with Lucien Hétu's cheesey electric organ versions of classic carols, was the soundtrack of my anglophone Québecois Christmas. Your change in the lyrics isn't an attempt to start a War On Anglophone Québecois Christmas, is it? What's next, the wholesale destruction of aluminum Christmas trees and those rotating multicolour tree light thingies?

LarryC, the midi link includes the singing and it sounds pretty damn close to the original for me.
posted by maudlin at 11:40 AM on December 13, 2005

I know I've mentioned this in AskMetaFilter, too, but The Vandals' Oi to the World! is in the aforementioned ancient yule tradition / "Nuttin' for Christmas" vein. It features such perennial favorites as "Thanx for Nothing" (a copy of which is mysteriously here):

You shouldn't have
Oh, you didn't
You're so generous
Thanks for nothing
Never mind all the stuff that I bought for you
It was my pleasure, getting nothing back
Come next year I'm getting you exactly what you got me
Fucking Nothing
See how you like it
I don't have much money but I got you something nice
I maxed out my cards, didn't care about the price,
To show I care this time of year
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Thanx for nothing
So I'm the sap, under the Christmas tree
Trying to find the gifts I thought you got for me
But there was nothing there -- what a shock
Just all the torn up wrappings from all the gifts I bought
Thanx for all the effort to brighten up my Christmas
Thank you for the knife that you stabbed me in the back with
What a blessing
You're really something
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Thanx for nothing
I've been so selfless, choosing gifts so thoughtfully
Sweating in a crowed mall and you didn't get shit for me
You selfish asshole
I hope you die
Choking on your putrid pile of presents 6 feet high
Thanx for making Christmas such a disappointment
Thanx for making sharing seem so fucking pointless
What a pal
I'll tell you one thing
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Thanx for nothing.
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Thanx for nothing.
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, fuck you.
posted by gramschmidt at 11:57 AM on December 13, 2005

we had a "hardcore christmas" compilation at the radio station i worked at in college. i forget which bands were on it, but i remember some of the song titles. my favorites were "fuck christmas, fuck santa, fuck you" and "little town of deathlehem."
posted by jcruelty at 1:38 PM on December 13, 2005

I've disliked this song ever since my stick-up-her-butt eighth-grade choir teacher made us pronounce the tin in
nuttin'. Why would they go to the trouble of writing it as nuttin' if you weren't supposed to say it like a goddamn human being: nut'n.

See, I'm mad just thinking about it.

I like the Mefi versions though. Good on you folks.
posted by PhatLobley at 4:27 PM on December 13, 2005

Heh - PhatLobley, I've never liked that particular number either, but given your history you might like Freberg's "Elderly Man River," where he has to deal with a similar authority figure...

"He don't doesn't plant taters potatoes,
he doesn't plant cotton cotting,
because these/them/ those that plants them
are soon forgotting.
That elderly man river, he just keeps rolling along."
posted by soyjoy at 8:25 PM on December 13, 2005

Excellent, soyjoy. Thanks.
posted by PhatLobley at 7:08 AM on December 14, 2005