Marshall Oak, Starfleet Captain
February 7, 2006 7:57 PM Subscribe
Marshall Oak, Starfleet Captain is a photo gallery of 184 shots of Star Trek with Marshal Oak photoshopped in. Obsessive fan? Visual Slash Fiction? SciFi Where's Waldo? All of the above.
with Marshal Oak photoshopped in (poorly)...
posted by doctor_negative at 8:04 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by doctor_negative at 8:04 PM on February 7, 2006
I love how his pictures are tagged with "1701b". That way, you know exactly which Enterprise he's on.
Oh, and this is really scary.
posted by interrobang at 8:06 PM on February 7, 2006
Oh, and this is really scary.
posted by interrobang at 8:06 PM on February 7, 2006
HEHEHEH: oh fuck it, I can't be arsed today. Cut. Paste
posted by bonaldi at 8:07 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by bonaldi at 8:07 PM on February 7, 2006
Actually, I think Captain Oak has much in common with the self referential work of Su En Wong featured on these pages a short while ago. One leans a little more toward the pop culture side of things, but I suspect their motivations are similar.
I find it interesting that he has chosen to focus on the Star Trek era represented in the first few feature films. Most fans are strictly original series or Next Generation. In a way, he's a bit of an innovator.
posted by aladfar at 8:08 PM on February 7, 2006 [1 favorite]
I find it interesting that he has chosen to focus on the Star Trek era represented in the first few feature films. Most fans are strictly original series or Next Generation. In a way, he's a bit of an innovator.
posted by aladfar at 8:08 PM on February 7, 2006 [1 favorite]
Tony, who split from his wife Georgina after he replaced their fridge with a "warp coil"
You know, I wish I could just wave a magic wand and give these people their fantasy lives, you know? They seem to be at that place in fandom that's largely about an un-healable discontent with the ways things are. Wouldn't it be nice to just let them have what they so badly want?
Or not.
posted by jokeefe at 8:11 PM on February 7, 2006
You know, I wish I could just wave a magic wand and give these people their fantasy lives, you know? They seem to be at that place in fandom that's largely about an un-healable discontent with the ways things are. Wouldn't it be nice to just let them have what they so badly want?
Or not.
posted by jokeefe at 8:11 PM on February 7, 2006
Are the references to Brazil a second fantasy life?
posted by kleinmatic at 8:13 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by kleinmatic at 8:13 PM on February 7, 2006
man, you people are gonna feel bad when he joins up on Metafilter and comments in this thread.
posted by jonson at 8:14 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by jonson at 8:14 PM on February 7, 2006
I was gonna say that -- this is sure to be a thread he posts in.
posted by bonaldi at 8:14 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by bonaldi at 8:14 PM on February 7, 2006
I think he's a fan from Brazil.
I love them, in all their amateur photoshopped cheesiness. I just can't believe how detailed the little stories are about each one and that he's done almost 200 of them.
posted by mathowie at 8:16 PM on February 7, 2006
I love them, in all their amateur photoshopped cheesiness. I just can't believe how detailed the little stories are about each one and that he's done almost 200 of them.
posted by mathowie at 8:16 PM on February 7, 2006
Don't get me wrong, I think they're great. Sometimes the Internet is so wonderful I think it will tear me apart.
posted by kleinmatic at 8:19 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by kleinmatic at 8:19 PM on February 7, 2006
Why can't people have more productive hobbies?
posted by Pontius Pilate at 8:21 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by Pontius Pilate at 8:21 PM on February 7, 2006
jokeefe - if you gave them exactly what they wanted (say, piping simulated reality straight into their brains), what's to stop piping everyone's particular fantasy (serial murderer, porn star, 1950's homemaker, &c) on whim? Would society crumble or would people wage away to afford to uprade to better equipment/software/&c?
I'm completely ok with hobbyists going all out and doing their thang. But, <shrug> this particular incarnation isn't particularly skilled... construct a home theatre that looks like a Startrek bridge? Manufacture stormtrooper uniforms by hand and attend cons? Great! Awesome! Kudos! This, well, this is a bit wank-y.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 8:23 PM on February 7, 2006
I'm completely ok with hobbyists going all out and doing their thang. But, <shrug> this particular incarnation isn't particularly skilled... construct a home theatre that looks like a Startrek bridge? Manufacture stormtrooper uniforms by hand and attend cons? Great! Awesome! Kudos! This, well, this is a bit wank-y.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 8:23 PM on February 7, 2006
This reminds me a little of Henry Darger's obsessive fantasy-realm creation. Darger used repurposed pop culture images in his work, too. And he wrote lots of accompanying text to create an elaborate fictional world.
posted by blueloggy at 8:25 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by blueloggy at 8:25 PM on February 7, 2006
Now I understand why he's focused on that "era" of Star Trek and, specifically, the Enterprise B. Isn't that the only ship in the series that doesn't have an official captain? Kirk was at the helm of the original and A. The captain of C was revealed on an episode of The Next Generation, and Picard had D and now commands E.
So, Oak is just as much the captain of the Enterprise B as Riverside Iowa is the birthplace of James T. Kirk.
This is all common knowledge, right? Right?
posted by aladfar at 8:28 PM on February 7, 2006
So, Oak is just as much the captain of the Enterprise B as Riverside Iowa is the birthplace of James T. Kirk.
This is all common knowledge, right? Right?
posted by aladfar at 8:28 PM on February 7, 2006
Please let this be fake.
What would it take to make this fake?
posted by grobstein at 8:30 PM on February 7, 2006
What would it take to make this fake?
posted by grobstein at 8:30 PM on February 7, 2006
If he shows up in this thread, I will shit my pants.
posted by wheelieman at 8:33 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by wheelieman at 8:33 PM on February 7, 2006
Why can't people have more productive hobbies?
posted by Pontius Pilate at 8:21 PM PST on February 7 [!]
Like washing their hands and killing Jesus?
posted by the_bone at 8:23 PM PST on February 7 [!]
Great. Now I have Mountain Dew in my LUNGS! How am I going to get my coding project done with all these distractions?
posted by mystyk at 8:34 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by Pontius Pilate at 8:21 PM PST on February 7 [!]
Like washing their hands and killing Jesus?
posted by the_bone at 8:23 PM PST on February 7 [!]
Great. Now I have Mountain Dew in my LUNGS! How am I going to get my coding project done with all these distractions?
posted by mystyk at 8:34 PM on February 7, 2006
The captain of the B was Cameron, who crashed it into the nexus. I know this because I watched Star Trek Generations last night and it made my eyes hurt.
posted by bonaldi at 8:38 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by bonaldi at 8:38 PM on February 7, 2006
Er Cameron == Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Big Day Off
posted by bonaldi at 8:38 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by bonaldi at 8:38 PM on February 7, 2006
I think its great that people get all obsessed with their fantasy life, but Star Wars and Star Trek? Aren't they kind of done to death?
posted by R. Mutt at 8:40 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by R. Mutt at 8:40 PM on February 7, 2006
You're right Bonaldi, I'd forgotten about that - the B was destroyed and Kirk was "killed" as a result. Perhaps it was rebuilt and/or another excelsior class starship was rebranded (like the Defiant was in DS9). All of which I bring up only because I'm certain Oak has figured out some way to plausibly work his character into the Star Trek timeline.
posted by aladfar at 8:48 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by aladfar at 8:48 PM on February 7, 2006
Man, his dad's Ferrari, the Enterprise B... that Alan Ruck's a goddamn menace, ain't he?
(Bonaldi, are you subconciously planning a mash-up of FBDO and Pee-Wee's Big Adventure? 'Cause if you were, I may have fallen slightly in love with you.)
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:52 PM on February 7, 2006
(Bonaldi, are you subconciously planning a mash-up of FBDO and Pee-Wee's Big Adventure? 'Cause if you were, I may have fallen slightly in love with you.)
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:52 PM on February 7, 2006
I'm Male, 39 and Single.
No way! Hurry up, ladies, time's running out
posted by saraswati at 9:05 PM on February 7, 2006
No way! Hurry up, ladies, time's running out
posted by saraswati at 9:05 PM on February 7, 2006
I love this. THIS is why I read Metafilter. Three Cheers for this guy!
posted by shmegegge at 9:12 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by shmegegge at 9:12 PM on February 7, 2006
Jesus H, he's got a whole web site where he continues it. This is really depressing.
posted by xmutex at 9:20 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by xmutex at 9:20 PM on February 7, 2006
And to this he replyed "The name is Marshall, and we are always 'aliens' to the eye of each others... Every human being, be it really Human, or Vulcan, or whatever, has the impulse of loving, of caring... the needing to feel close to another one. And I do feel close about you, Saavik...!".
Awesome.
posted by eyeballkid at 9:33 PM on February 7, 2006
Awesome.
posted by eyeballkid at 9:33 PM on February 7, 2006
Can't we place him in a vacuum between two giant titanium plates and harness enough raw enthusiasm to power North America for 1000 years?
posted by slatternus at 9:39 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by slatternus at 9:39 PM on February 7, 2006
jokeefe - if you gave them exactly what they wanted (say, piping simulated reality straight into their brains), what's to stop piping everyone's particular fantasy (serial murderer, porn star, 1950's homemaker, &c) on whim?
Hey, I was talking about bone fide magic-- like, poof, there you are really and truly the Captain of a starship, none of this Matrix-like piping in of "reality". But as far as the second question goes, absolutely nothing.
posted by jokeefe at 9:43 PM on February 7, 2006
Hey, I was talking about bone fide magic-- like, poof, there you are really and truly the Captain of a starship, none of this Matrix-like piping in of "reality". But as far as the second question goes, absolutely nothing.
posted by jokeefe at 9:43 PM on February 7, 2006
I'm Male, 39 and Single.
Hey! So am I!
*sob*
(On the plus side, I don't have a weird ST obsession. And I don't play golf.)
posted by Pinback at 9:53 PM on February 7, 2006 [1 favorite]
Hey! So am I!
*sob*
(On the plus side, I don't have a weird ST obsession. And I don't play golf.)
posted by Pinback at 9:53 PM on February 7, 2006 [1 favorite]
My stomach hurts from laughing at the golf photo linked above. Hoo!
posted by davejay at 9:56 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by davejay at 9:56 PM on February 7, 2006
Dear Diary:
My plans to slowly prepare early 21st century Earth culture for the existence of galactic civilization are proceeding apace, but I am concerned at an unexpected complication. The seeds I planted through that ignorant fool Roddenberry oh so many years past have taken root as I had planned. The popular culture has moved through an initial fascination and on into jaded weariness. The "television shows", so carefully crafted through my manipulations of their pathetic writers to resemble the reality that might shock them, have been a tremendous success for local years. The "Star Trek" materials have now become such common cultural currency as to be considered boring and archaic - this is partially due to familiarity, and partly to an intentional reduction in quality over time. So when the Fleet arrives and my mission is complete, the primitives (our forbearers!) will be subconsciously prepared and un-threatened.
And yet all is endangered by the stupidest of errors! Some of my old photos - source material from my personal archives which I used for creating "Star Trek" (through my unwitting slaves in the "entertainment industry") - have been stolen! Worse, these personal photographs have been distributed on the sad and crude com-net they call "the IntraWeb". Fortunately, since the television and "movie" shows were so closely based on my records, the latter are instantly assumed to be fake. In an excess of cosmic irony, my old school photos and memorabilia are thought to be altered extracts from the fictional works! While they hand around actual depictions of Fleet Operations and Personnel, they mock them for being bad fakes of the video and film programming they grew up with.
If the success of The Mission were not at stake, I would perhaps be more amused by this preposterous turn of events. As it is, I must do all I can to ensure they continue to be regarded as fakes. I will attempt to encourage their distribution on this "Intra-Web", and "log in" to their primitive group comm centers to mock them as the pathetic daydreams of an obsessed fan. The damage should be minimized, and in the end this may all help The Mission as it serves to both reinforce the familiarity the Primitives feel for this imagery and to keep it fresh in their memory.
posted by freebird at 10:35 PM on February 7, 2006 [1 favorite]
My plans to slowly prepare early 21st century Earth culture for the existence of galactic civilization are proceeding apace, but I am concerned at an unexpected complication. The seeds I planted through that ignorant fool Roddenberry oh so many years past have taken root as I had planned. The popular culture has moved through an initial fascination and on into jaded weariness. The "television shows", so carefully crafted through my manipulations of their pathetic writers to resemble the reality that might shock them, have been a tremendous success for local years. The "Star Trek" materials have now become such common cultural currency as to be considered boring and archaic - this is partially due to familiarity, and partly to an intentional reduction in quality over time. So when the Fleet arrives and my mission is complete, the primitives (our forbearers!) will be subconsciously prepared and un-threatened.
And yet all is endangered by the stupidest of errors! Some of my old photos - source material from my personal archives which I used for creating "Star Trek" (through my unwitting slaves in the "entertainment industry") - have been stolen! Worse, these personal photographs have been distributed on the sad and crude com-net they call "the IntraWeb". Fortunately, since the television and "movie" shows were so closely based on my records, the latter are instantly assumed to be fake. In an excess of cosmic irony, my old school photos and memorabilia are thought to be altered extracts from the fictional works! While they hand around actual depictions of Fleet Operations and Personnel, they mock them for being bad fakes of the video and film programming they grew up with.
If the success of The Mission were not at stake, I would perhaps be more amused by this preposterous turn of events. As it is, I must do all I can to ensure they continue to be regarded as fakes. I will attempt to encourage their distribution on this "Intra-Web", and "log in" to their primitive group comm centers to mock them as the pathetic daydreams of an obsessed fan. The damage should be minimized, and in the end this may all help The Mission as it serves to both reinforce the familiarity the Primitives feel for this imagery and to keep it fresh in their memory.
posted by freebird at 10:35 PM on February 7, 2006 [1 favorite]
As someone who shares the same first name as this guy, let me just say that this is not a very proud moment.
What language was that in the video? I first thought it was some kind of alien gibberish overdub, but it sounds more polished than that.
posted by emelenjr at 10:47 PM on February 7, 2006
What language was that in the video? I first thought it was some kind of alien gibberish overdub, but it sounds more polished than that.
posted by emelenjr at 10:47 PM on February 7, 2006
I just choked on my coffee freebird... that was very funny. Fantastic post, too.
posted by greycap at 11:59 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by greycap at 11:59 PM on February 7, 2006
I want to know if he has any pictures of Lt. Mary Sue. Preferrably nude.
posted by moonbiter at 1:40 AM on February 8, 2006
posted by moonbiter at 1:40 AM on February 8, 2006
2293 [26] Commander Oak with his father Enginering Admiral Atreides Oak
PUT DOWN the Frank Herbert and step away slowly.
Also, there appears to be a book.
Awesome post!
posted by raena at 2:36 AM on February 8, 2006
PUT DOWN the Frank Herbert and step away slowly.
Also, there appears to be a book.
Awesome post!
posted by raena at 2:36 AM on February 8, 2006
Let's just hope the trend is waning.
Looks like it is. The webpage says the last log in was January 24.
Even weirder is that his buddy, Dr. Byron, seems to want to play along too.
Man, they gots to get better glasses in the future.
posted by Ironmouth at 6:56 AM on February 8, 2006
Looks like it is. The webpage says the last log in was January 24.
Even weirder is that his buddy, Dr. Byron, seems to want to play along too.
Man, they gots to get better glasses in the future.
posted by Ironmouth at 6:56 AM on February 8, 2006
Red Alert! Personal Ad located.
Its for Yahoo! Brazil, but the ad is half in German, half in Portugese. The photo is all Captain Oak, I'm afraid.
posted by Ironmouth at 7:06 AM on February 8, 2006
Its for Yahoo! Brazil, but the ad is half in German, half in Portugese. The photo is all Captain Oak, I'm afraid.
posted by Ironmouth at 7:06 AM on February 8, 2006
The real joke is that half of you wish you had thought of this first and just can't admit to it.
posted by mischief at 7:51 AM on February 8, 2006
posted by mischief at 7:51 AM on February 8, 2006
Its for Yahoo! Brazil, but the ad is half in German, half in Portugese.
He really likes to watch tv and read, and one of his favorite genres is sci fi.
I would never have guessed.
posted by moonbiter at 8:15 AM on February 8, 2006
Truly, this is as beautiful and terrible as the dawn.
posted by kalimac at 8:40 AM on February 8, 2006
posted by kalimac at 8:40 AM on February 8, 2006
Can't we place him in a vacuum between two giant titanium plates and harness enough raw enthusiasm to power North America for 1000 years?
No, we can't. The subtle variances in the intrinsic fields could affect Oak at the Bose-Einstein layer, at which point we'd all have to call him Marshall Manhattan.
posted by Smart Dalek at 9:12 AM on February 8, 2006
No, we can't. The subtle variances in the intrinsic fields could affect Oak at the Bose-Einstein layer, at which point we'd all have to call him Marshall Manhattan.
posted by Smart Dalek at 9:12 AM on February 8, 2006
The actor who plays Captain Marshall Oak kept getting cut out of the movies and TV shows cuz he wouldn't stop looking into the camera!
posted by Hanover Phist at 10:24 AM on February 8, 2006
posted by Hanover Phist at 10:24 AM on February 8, 2006
Single?
Guess that fling with Saavik didn't pan out.
posted by CynicalKnight at 1:13 PM on February 8, 2006
Guess that fling with Saavik didn't pan out.
posted by CynicalKnight at 1:13 PM on February 8, 2006
... and that's when he hooked up with the wide-eyed Andorian babe. Crikey.
posted by CynicalKnight at 1:26 PM on February 8, 2006
posted by CynicalKnight at 1:26 PM on February 8, 2006
No, we can't. The subtle variances in the intrinsic fields could affect Oak at the Bose-Einstein layer, at which point we'd all have to call him Marshall Manhattan.
But..if we reverse the polarity on them first, we can subsume their endochronic properties into the bacterium filter of the t'shenkian coffee maker we're carrying to Cygwin III!
posted by Sparx at 4:28 PM on February 8, 2006
But..if we reverse the polarity on them first, we can subsume their endochronic properties into the bacterium filter of the t'shenkian coffee maker we're carrying to Cygwin III!
posted by Sparx at 4:28 PM on February 8, 2006
Nope, we just need to photoshop Dr. Byron onto Rorschach or Night-Owl. That'll show them.
posted by freebird at 5:05 PM on February 8, 2006
posted by freebird at 5:05 PM on February 8, 2006
I thought we were talking abuot Dr Tanya Byron for aminute. I'd photoshop myself into her picture, youbetterbelieveit
posted by bonaldi at 6:19 PM on February 8, 2006
posted by bonaldi at 6:19 PM on February 8, 2006
so... will he be presenting at the webby awards this year, or next year?
posted by Jeremy at 7:02 PM on February 8, 2006
posted by Jeremy at 7:02 PM on February 8, 2006
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posted by solid-one-love at 8:00 PM on February 7, 2006