Passive-aggressive bass guitar abuse.

February 19, 2006 8:45 PM

Don't take your sexual frustration out on your bass guitar. The Bass Player Cycle of Abuse: 1) Bass player joins band. 2) Bass player resents getting less groupie sex than rest of band. 3) Bass player misdirects their resentment and creates one of these.
posted by basilwhite (33 comments total)

This reveals our bassist instincts.
posted by Protocols of the Elders of Awesome at 8:49 PM on February 19, 2006

"Please serious bidders only, if you would like to dream feel free to do so just don't bid by mistake while you are dreaming."

What were those 31 people thinking when they autographed this monstrosity?
posted by stavrogin at 9:15 PM on February 19, 2006

All those instrument are belong to me.
posted by majick at 9:15 PM on February 19, 2006

I've been know to tap that bass.
posted by billysumday at 9:16 PM on February 19, 2006

That last link just made my bass player's day! Thanks.

Of course, finding lint in his belly button also makes his day.
posted by roguescout at 9:16 PM on February 19, 2006

Did you mean for both links in the post to go to the same URL?
posted by spock at 9:18 PM on February 19, 2006

"Why you did this? Why you did such a thing? What is the purpose of this?"

(Scroll to the bottom)
posted by spiderskull at 9:18 PM on February 19, 2006

I had always understood the bass players in the band to get the MOST (in a qty over quality assessment) groupie tail in the band. At least according to rock star cliche.
posted by jonson at 9:26 PM on February 19, 2006

And here we have the Ace of Bass.
(Scroll to the bottom)
posted by jenovus at 9:30 PM on February 19, 2006

*waves at his bass-playin' lurker buddy*
posted by keswick at 9:36 PM on February 19, 2006

Later, the King of Bass (yes, scroll all the way down). Maybe I can find the Queen, Jack, and Ten to get a royal flush.
posted by jenovus at 9:38 PM on February 19, 2006

I ended up in my best relationships when I switched from electric bass to upright. coincidence? You decide.
posted by drezdn at 10:02 PM on February 19, 2006

You decide.

OK. Hmmmmm.... I'll say, 'Yes'.
posted by pompomtom at 10:05 PM on February 19, 2006

do bass players do it on the down-low? Just ax'in.
posted by longsleeves at 10:05 PM on February 19, 2006

RUBBER SLED ON THE BASS GUITAR
posted by wakko at 10:14 PM on February 19, 2006

wow, and I liked mine for the sound it makes. I was so shallow.
posted by Busithoth at 10:30 PM on February 19, 2006

"I had always understood the bass players in the band to get the MOST (in a qty over quality assessment) groupie tail in the band. At least according to rock star cliche."

It's true. We sure do.

/former bassist for many bands, including an infamous classic rock cover band from Seattle
//now in a very happy relationship
///on the wrong website for slashes. :P
posted by drstein at 10:32 PM on February 19, 2006

Everyone gets more than the guy playing the Keytar.
posted by Crosius at 10:50 PM on February 19, 2006

It's true. The guitar player likely spent his teenage years in his room playing guitar instead of going out on dates and learning to talk to girls. (boy am I glad I went down _that_ road.)
posted by Space Coyote at 10:50 PM on February 19, 2006

I play a washtub bass, and the washtub is bright orange Formosa Plastic with bright climbing rope for the string...in short, there's not too much more I can do to make it even more hideous.
posted by Poagao at 11:25 PM on February 19, 2006

Stavrogin, the Wangcaster on the page you linked to has to be the toughest to play. I'd think one would get his fingers tangled up in all those pubes.
posted by sixpack at 6:30 AM on February 20, 2006

I've played with a lot of bass players, if they were getting laid, they sure weren't talking about it. Although I imagine girl bass players have no problem getting action. Come to think of it the same would go for girl singers, girl drummers, girl roadies, girl anything...
posted by j.p. Hung at 6:46 AM on February 20, 2006

To wash some of that evil out of your system, you might check out BunnyBass's Musical Instrument Archive (free registration required, though there is a free [registration-less] tour).

I sometimes find "serious" collections of basses even more odd than the strange ones at BunnyBass. Have you guys seen the Carvin Museum? I don't mind Carvins. I've even owned one. But I didn't know anyone liked them enough to put something like this together.
posted by wheat at 7:05 AM on February 20, 2006

In the early '90s I knew a chick who bragged about having unsafe sex with the bassist from Jane's Addiction. I have no idea whether she was telling the truth but I kicked her out of my bed anyway. (No, it wasn't because he wasn't a drummer.)
posted by davy at 7:07 AM on February 20, 2006

I always thought the bassist was the quieter guy in the band, who picked up the rejected groupies, who'd inevitably fallen over themselves chasing the singer/guitarist. Not my experience, but observed aplenty. And while we're bandying about stereotypes, they're most likely to be the ones who talk with the drummer about the music more than the poon-tang.
posted by Busithoth at 7:29 AM on February 20, 2006

/former bassist for many bands, including an infamous classic rock cover band from Seattle

Oh, Soundgarden...
posted by iamck at 9:34 AM on February 20, 2006

Bass players do it deeper.
posted by wsg at 9:37 AM on February 20, 2006

Oh, Soundgarden...
posted by iamck at 9:34 AM PST on February 20 [!]

---
Nope. Much much worse (the music), but a hell of a lot more fun. ;)

We were a three piece band, so the stats might be off.
posted by drstein at 10:06 AM on February 20, 2006

This was previously posted, but the BunnyBass site structure changed, so the direct link in the old post is dead. It's definitely a fun link. It's worth a look because lots of mefites contributed some fabulous guitar links to other sites in the thread.
posted by madamjujujive at 10:09 AM on February 20, 2006

Q: What did the piano player say to the bassist?
A: I could do that with my right hand tied behind my back.
posted by bendybendy at 10:27 AM on February 20, 2006

bendybendy, that's funny, but so untrue. Most keyboard bass lines are lame as hell. Stevie Wonder can do it, but he's about the only one.
posted by wsg at 11:10 AM on February 20, 2006

Behold the Wangcaster. The ULTIMATE in sexual angst expression.
posted by Doorstop at 2:40 PM on February 20, 2006

Not being a bassist, I don't particularly lust after any of these. I do, however, die for the Emily the Strange guitar.
posted by jfuller at 3:52 PM on February 20, 2006