Freedom of the Seas

April 29, 2006 3:06 AM

Freedom of the seas World,s largest passenger liner, currently docked in Southampton UK, in prep for voyage to New York. Then a life of cruising the Carib. 15m wider than the QM2 Check out the flash tour.
posted by A189Nut (56 comments total)

Wow - a ship made entirely of cheese!
posted by strawberryviagra at 4:04 AM on April 29, 2006

I've just been down to see it, an incredible sight as it dominates the city skyline. Standing at the blunt end, it just seems to go up and up forever. (I'm a little annoyed they're not letting us proles on board for a look around though). Video of the ship.
posted by punilux at 4:10 AM on April 29, 2006

That woman spoke to me like I was an infant. Nice boat, though.
posted by malpractice at 4:11 AM on April 29, 2006

Mmmm pepsi blue! The ad is a nice interface, but the people are a little too perky. It's a hotel that floats, I don't really see the attraction.
posted by Hildegarde at 5:32 AM on April 29, 2006

Does it run on biodiesel?? I think not.
posted by Dogmilk at 5:51 AM on April 29, 2006

G-d, she was annoying. Did the casting person say a "Teri Hatcher-ish" woman?

I think there are two kinds of people in the world: those who think taking a cruise is desirable, and those who think it is HELL. And I cannot imagine falling in love with someone who wants to go on a cruise.

God, I hate the idea of a cruise!
posted by ParisParamus at 6:40 AM on April 29, 2006

Freedom of the Seas? FloatingHell. WaterPrison. SeaHell....come on, I have an idea for a thread!
posted by ParisParamus at 6:44 AM on April 29, 2006

PrisonHulk
posted by atrazine at 6:48 AM on April 29, 2006

TheMallBoat.
posted by ParisParamus at 6:55 AM on April 29, 2006

We're going to need a bigger boat.
posted by nthdegx at 7:03 AM on April 29, 2006

Heh. It has an ice skating rink.
posted by Atreides at 7:05 AM on April 29, 2006

For once, I find myself in complete agreement with PP. What an incredibly weird sensation. VacationContainer.
posted by paulsc at 7:11 AM on April 29, 2006

"Passenger liner" sounds so much more classy than "cruise ship" A+ marketing.
posted by wfrgms at 7:23 AM on April 29, 2006

Wow, PP nails it, though "Vacation Container Ship" has scary implications.
posted by eriko at 7:29 AM on April 29, 2006

But you can rent that big ass mofo to a State to host refugees, or a party. Whatever janks your anchor.
posted by elpapacito at 7:57 AM on April 29, 2006

The sequel:
posted by blue_beetle at 8:04 AM on April 29, 2006

Cruise ships. A supposedly fun thing I'll never do again.
posted by stbalbach at 8:11 AM on April 29, 2006

/me shrugs.

For my family, with pretty diverse interests, a cruise ship is a decent way for us to go on vacation together. We can do whatever during the day, and at the end of the day, still sit down to dinner together.

Is it my ideal vacation? No. Is it my mother's ideal vacation? No.
My father's? My brother's? No and no. But if you go for a middle ground, it's at least something we can all enjoy.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:25 AM on April 29, 2006 [1 favorite]

Best part of the animation is leaving it running without selecting an option. The woman smiles and hops from foot to foot in an endless loop.
posted by A189Nut at 8:36 AM on April 29, 2006

I like the way the word "Adventurous" shot accross the screen as the flash tour was loading. I always thought cruise ships were for people who were avoiding adventure (except in the "$200 extra liability limited packaged 40 person shore extreme excursion get me back for the evening buffet" meaning of the word). I would, however, have bought the word "Relax-o-matic" if it zoomed across the screen.
posted by Staggering Jack at 8:56 AM on April 29, 2006

I see they've trotted out the new line of Constipation Class vessels.
posted by sourwookie at 8:59 AM on April 29, 2006

One of the copywriters for this site is a close friend of my wife. I'm going to memorize some of that obnoxious tourguide's dialogue to slip into our next conversation.
posted by Mayor Curley at 9:04 AM on April 29, 2006

Believe it or not, you ain't seen nothing yet.
Freedom of the Seas is a measly 160,000 tons. Royal Caribbean has a ship on order for 2009 that will be 220,000 tons, the largest ship ever built in the history of the world...
posted by banishedimmortal at 9:06 AM on April 29, 2006

the largest ship ever built in the history of the world...

um, no
posted by thirteenkiller at 9:30 AM on April 29, 2006

Cocktail? ...nah, just kidding. (offering a coke)

What a dick.
posted by pwedza at 9:31 AM on April 29, 2006

Where do I type "show boobs"? Or is this not one of those?
posted by jikel_morten at 9:42 AM on April 29, 2006

I like the 4 seconds before the tour guide realizes the camera is rolling. (Didn't make it tooo much further, in fact.)
posted by salvia at 9:57 AM on April 29, 2006

God himself couldn't sink that ship.
posted by marxchivist at 10:16 AM on April 29, 2006

Cocktail? ...nah, just kidding. (offering a coke)

What a dick.

Yeah, but if you keep an eye on his friend just pointing and nodding and never saying a thing, and imagine it's some sort of Marx bros sketch, or even, Penn & Teller, then it is really funny!

Except the haircuts. The haircuts are straight from hell Fox News anchorman style. Frightening. It makes me re-evaluate that myspace goth/emo hair gallery.
posted by funambulist at 11:54 AM on April 29, 2006

This is not what the web is for! If I wanted to watch television, I'd watch a motherfucking television. Just give me the goddamn information!
posted by mr_roboto at 12:09 PM on April 29, 2006

"God himself couldn't sink that ship."

lol
posted by Baby_Balrog at 12:12 PM on April 29, 2006

The HMS BiggestShipO'Fools.

I kid you not: as long as there are large numbers of people who think "cruising" is desirerable, don't expect the world's problems to improve much. To allocate so much money and resources in this manner is just depraved.
posted by ParisParamus at 12:25 PM on April 29, 2006

I already find the whole idea of cruise ships incredibly decadent (in the Roman Empire sense of "decadent"), but a CG version of one somehow just adds a creepy factor.
posted by tritisan at 1:01 PM on April 29, 2006

Caribbean In A Can! See the world without having to interact with poor people!
posted by brundlefly at 1:57 PM on April 29, 2006

Thirteenkiller, I stand corrected, although the Knock Nevis didn't seem to actually be used as a ship much, more like a floating but permanently moored oil holding tank. So, if you don't include the Knock Nevis, the new as-yet-unnamed Royal Caribbean ship will be the largest ever built.
posted by banishedimmortal at 2:00 PM on April 29, 2006

Whenever I see a newer cruise ship I'm always staggered by the number of decks they pile on top of them. They've even taken to making the top decks wider than the hull. Compare to an image of a passenger liner from back when that was a practical means of transportation as opposed to a way to "travel" without having to cope with any foreignness.

Congratulations, they've invented a ship which is 90% steerage; a floating chain hotel which you literally cannot leave until it docks. How much do you have to pay for light and air in the depths of one of those things?
posted by George_Spiggott at 2:45 PM on April 29, 2006

I've never been on a cruise. But I tell ya, after spending countless hours planning all the flying, driving, lodging, sightseeing, and adventuring for a "realxing" vacation earlier this month I was damn tempted to shelve it all and sign up for a cruise.

If the idea is to get away from the daily grind, chill out in comfort and security, and do some things you don't do every day, then it sounds pretty good. All I gotta do is show up at the boat with a bag packed? Cool. Point me to the bar, please.

Sure, it's not a "real traveling experience." Apples vs. oranges.

Oh, and that website was thoroughly annoying.
posted by Tubes at 2:49 PM on April 29, 2006

(oops: "relaxing")
posted by Tubes at 2:57 PM on April 29, 2006

"God himself couldn't sink that ship."

Yeah, look out for those icebergs. I hear they can put unsinkable ships on the bottom...

Lucky for them, there are not many icebergs hanging around in the Caribbean.
posted by rand at 3:23 PM on April 29, 2006

So, if you don't include the Knock Nevis, the new as-yet-unnamed Royal Caribbean ship will be the largest ever built.

I don't understand that list you link to. Presumably, in true Wikipedia style, it's just not finished yet (but doesn't mention that).

For example, the Hellespont Fairfax is longer, wider, deeper, heavier and displaces more than the QM2. It doesn't appear on the list, though. The Times article suggests that the 2009 cruise ship will displace 220,000 tons - the Hellespont displaces 441,585 tons.
posted by matthewr at 3:44 PM on April 29, 2006

I've never been on a cruise. But I tell ya, after spending countless hours planning all the flying, driving, lodging, sightseeing, and adventuring for a "realxing" vacation earlier this month I was damn tempted to shelve it all and sign up for a cruise.

I've cruised once (our last vacation) and ever since, I've been obsessed with going again. Of course I don't have a lot of money and don't vacation much, so maybe we were a little vacation-hungry at the time.
posted by jikel_morten at 4:01 PM on April 29, 2006

I've never been on a cruise. But I tell ya, after spending countless hours planning all the flying, driving, lodging, sightseeing, and adventuring for a "realxing" vacation earlier this month I was damn tempted to shelve it all and sign up for a cruise.

Sign up for a bus tour. Cheaper and more interesting.
posted by Hildegarde at 4:04 PM on April 29, 2006

..there are not many icebergs hanging around in the Caribbean

It's colder there than you think. Why does Jamaica have a bobsleigh team?
posted by Joeforking at 4:37 PM on April 29, 2006

For example, the Hellespont Fairfax is longer, wider, deeper, heavier and displaces more than the QM2. It doesn't appear on the list, though. The Times article suggests that the 2009 cruise ship will displace 220,000 tons - the Hellespont displaces 441,585 tons.

I think, rather, that the new Royal Caribbean ship will weigh 220,000 tons, not displace it. The Hellespont, on the other had, has a net weight of around 160,000. I read elsewhere that the oiltankers displace more, but weigh less, especially when not loaded with oil. So I'll just settle with saying that it's the heaviest ship ever built besides the Knock Nevis...whatever, it's BIG.
posted by banishedimmortal at 5:23 PM on April 29, 2006

I like the idea of cruising the seas - minus the 5000 other guests
posted by strawberryviagra at 5:37 PM on April 29, 2006

I've always wanted to do that, strawberryviagra.
posted by brundlefly at 6:17 PM on April 29, 2006

banishedimmortal:

The new Royal Caribbean ship will indeed have a gross tonnage of 220,000. However:

Here's another ship that's heavier than the new Royal Caribbean ship. Note GT in the specs; that is gross tonnage.

This one is also bigger.

A lot of the supertankers on that site are smaller than 220,000 GT, though. But not all of them. It's hard to find them all because, unlike cruise ships, supertankers generally are classified by deadweight tonnage, which is their weight when fully loaded. Still, the gross tonnage of the ship itself is listed on the site I'm referencing, although there's no way to sort the entries by that measure. I just happened to find a couple to show you as examples.

Your wiki entry on the world's largest ships (by length) says right at the top: [the list] appears to be erroneous, as there are a number of freighters on the Great Lakes that are 1,000' long; length is an imperfect measure of a ship's size, regardless.

The Knock Nevis was used for many years as a supertanker; it was only recently converted to a storage facility.

But still, that cruise ship is gonna be really really big.
posted by thirteenkiller at 8:03 PM on April 29, 2006

Yeah - me too. It's an adventure I plan to undertake with my son one day.

It's that gradual momentum that delivers you to a new culture, through the gateway of a seedy port, that beats the crap out of any airport experience I've ever had.
posted by strawberryviagra at 8:03 PM on April 29, 2006

Suggested reading for those considering going on a cruise: David Foster Wallace's "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again." The essay first appeared in Harper's but is now in the book of the same title.
posted by josephtate at 8:20 PM on April 29, 2006

What was the crux of his experience?
posted by strawberryviagra at 8:24 PM on April 29, 2006

matthewr: Fixed. Obviously somebody missed one.

thirteenkiller: I have revised the list with a Wikipedia standard warning about such "living" lists.
posted by dhartung at 8:42 PM on April 29, 2006

Counterpoint: Hugo Vihlen in his 5'4" micro yacht Father's Day was but a speck on the sea when he crossed the Atlantic in 1993.
posted by cenoxo at 1:07 AM on April 30, 2006

So, everyone gets to stay in the presidential suite on this ship? I think I could enjoy a cruise that included so much private space. Maybe I missed something, my connection was too slow to wait for most of that.

A cruise has some appeal to me. Lazy relaxation, no cooking or cleaning, lots of food and people watching. But then I get tired of it and want to be alone (or alone, with someone). Or I get bored and want internet.

OTH, planned activities of fake excitement turn me off in a very negative sort of way. Schedules and holiday are nearly mutually exclusive, in my world.

And these cruise-people don't sound much like the sort I'd like.

I may never actually try a cruise. I'm far more inclined to get a captain's ticket and charter. But I'd miss the lazy factor of the cruise.
posted by Goofyy at 2:39 AM on April 30, 2006

That tour makes me want to kick something in the shins.

Also, is it just me, or does the Royal Caribbean logo remind you of the Decepticons logo?
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:15 PM on April 30, 2006

Holy shit!
My wife was just hired to sing on the inagural cruise for this thing. She gets a free cabin for the night, and $250 for 10 minutes of singing with the choir. Nice little last minute gig.
After the singing she has free run of the ship with all amenities comped.
For some reason they tried to play up the fact that Barry Manilow will be on board. Seems that would repel most clasical singers.

I'm trying to smuggle myself onboard with her.
posted by Eddie Mars at 6:26 PM on May 4, 2006

I've done two cruises and have two more booked. I never expected to become a cruiser, but it kind of grows on you. I'd still much rather do a land vacation, but as jacquilynne said, it's a nice middle ground.
posted by etoile at 8:30 AM on May 18, 2006