Weekends with Maury & Connie

June 17, 2006 11:20 PM

Maury and Connie get cancelled after 6 months. Connie says goodbye in song. I am now insane.
posted by puke & cry (83 comments total)

I'm not usually one of the too cool for TV sorts, but:

Maury and Connie had a talk show?

Possibly the fact that I had no idea such a thing existed to even be cancelled is a good indication of why it was cancelled.
posted by jacquilynne at 11:26 PM on June 17, 2006

I watch it, but my eyes can't believe it. Why would she do this? Also: her singing makes me long for the dulcet tones of Stone Phillips.
posted by jonson at 11:26 PM on June 17, 2006

I'd hit it. "Mute" button, anyway.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:26 PM on June 17, 2006

I swear I'm the only person that watched the show. Or MSNBC.
posted by puke & cry at 11:30 PM on June 17, 2006 [1 favorite]

Well, you know what, I probably wouldn't have seen this news anywhere else since I'd never heard of the show either.

I also found out the other day that Dustin Diamond is going to lose his house unless you buy a t-shirt from him.
posted by fenriq at 11:36 PM on June 17, 2006

She's drunk, right?
posted by pierrepressure at 11:42 PM on June 17, 2006

the best part is the grunt she makes as she dismounts the piano
posted by matt_od at 11:51 PM on June 17, 2006

The night of his inauguration, I dreamt Bill Clinton performed this exact same routine, fishtail gown and all. True story.
posted by maryh at 11:55 PM on June 17, 2006

Uh, not the same lyrics, though. But the similaries... they're just eerie.
posted by maryh at 11:58 PM on June 17, 2006

I couldn't imagine a more fitting commentary on the state of American journalism..."thanks, for the memories!"
posted by mr.curmudgeon at 11:59 PM on June 17, 2006

This may just be the rosy lens of childhood, but wasn't she some sort of journalist at some point?
posted by nanojath at 12:15 AM on June 18, 2006

okay, my favorite part? the stupified pianist who never even touches the keys.
posted by jann at 12:23 AM on June 18, 2006

She's got some major balls to do that on TV. Go Connie.
posted by wsg at 12:41 AM on June 18, 2006

Wow
posted by rdr at 1:11 AM on June 18, 2006

I’d fallen asleep with MSNBC on last night and this morning Connie’s song intruded into my dreams and stunned me into consciousness. It took me a few seconds to realize that this wasn’t some terror from the depths of my mind; she was actually sprawled across a piano singing. It seemed to just drag on and on. Oh how the mighty have fallen.
posted by Tenuki at 1:29 AM on June 18, 2006

I am now insane.

Just now? *waves dead chicken around the thread*
posted by loquacious at 1:41 AM on June 18, 2006

I saw a spoof of Maury and Connie on MadTV (with Bobby Lee as Connie, of course) before I had ever heard about it. Eventually I ran across the real show and realized that what seemed to be extreme exaggerations in the spoof were actually pretty darn close to the real thing.
posted by FlunkedFlank at 2:07 AM on June 18, 2006

The show came on Saturdays at 10 pm!? That might be the worst timeslot I've ever heard of.
posted by Ian A.T. at 3:11 AM on June 18, 2006

I think Opus said it best: "Marry me, you lusty-eyed hot mama of the news hour!"
posted by milquetoast at 3:48 AM on June 18, 2006

Maury Povich gives me the stone cold creeps every time I see his face. I have the sneaking suspicion that someday we're going to find out he has the largest library of child pornography in the Western Hemisphere.
posted by EarBucket at 4:12 AM on June 18, 2006

My god , connie is my mother.
posted by sgt.serenity at 4:13 AM on June 18, 2006

As collections of child pornography go generally, Maury's is relatively small. But as collections of morbidly obese child pornography go, well, I think it's safe to say he puts us all to shame.
posted by aaronetc at 4:47 AM on June 18, 2006

The youtube link to Connies song works just fine without that gawker.com permalink-bit . I dunno what that affiliate-type attachments does, I'm just sayin'.....
posted by dabitch at 5:24 AM on June 18, 2006

I could only watch for a couple of seconds and had to punch out. Jiminy crickets, that's really scary.
posted by nj_subgenius at 5:32 AM on June 18, 2006

Maury has a very big lawsuit againstg him for sexual something or other. I have from time to time glanced at the show and found it so enormously bad that I was unable to blink or turn away from it. The premise seems to have been that they took oppsoing political views and argued with each other. In my home, there is only one view. It is the correct one. And it not mine but my wife's. That is why we have no show.
posted by Postroad at 5:39 AM on June 18, 2006

I remember not believing they were even married, back in the day when Chung was an established newsie. I felt that it didn't make sense, having a blo-hard idiot husband would surely detract from her credentials in some way.

At least the show was up front:
they got issues was their ad.

but I, too, had to stop the song. I don't understand either why Povich wasn't sitting there, pretending to play the piano.
posted by Busithoth at 6:06 AM on June 18, 2006

"I could make more working on skid row."

Yikes.
posted by Deathalicious at 6:10 AM on June 18, 2006

The poor pianist has no choice but to sit there and listen to that horrible singing with a stupid grin on his face. She employs like three notes in the whole song.
posted by crowman at 6:44 AM on June 18, 2006

My god that was terrible. Connie could have been Rather's heir on CBS news but lost her way. I blame Maury for the whole thing.

I forgot this show existed. I remember when Connie was on Colbert when it was first going to air, but it didn't look good then. I won't be missing it at all.
posted by birdherder at 6:50 AM on June 18, 2006

I tried, but couldn't make it to the one-minute mark.

I remember thinking Connie was hot back when she was in LA local news. That was... almost 30 years ago.
posted by languagehat at 6:58 AM on June 18, 2006

i lasted 20 seconds ... that was bad
posted by pyramid termite at 7:02 AM on June 18, 2006

I think the pianist is scared that if he touches the keys he will break the idea of music.
posted by scarylarry at 7:43 AM on June 18, 2006

This weekend's "Talk Soup" brings this show up. They showed a short clip of one of the episodes and it featured a passing reference by Connie about Maury's sexual inadequacies. With dialogue like that, how did it not become an instant camp classic?
posted by NoMich at 7:44 AM on June 18, 2006

Sheez, if that was the sendoff after six months on the air what the hell would she have done had the show lasted 10 years or so? Chanted incantations to open the stellar black gates for C'thulu to ascend his throne of blood and rule over all the Earth?
posted by PenDevil at 7:51 AM on June 18, 2006

why does she look like a drag queen?
posted by MrLint at 7:52 AM on June 18, 2006

Maybe she is?
posted by Meatbomb at 7:56 AM on June 18, 2006

I couldn't watch for long, although I've got it going on audio as I type this. I agree she looks and sounds to be a few sheets to the wind, and I admire her nerve, although I wonder if Maury was less than thrilled by some of the lyrics.
posted by pax digita at 8:09 AM on June 18, 2006

Any DC natives remember Panorama? It was this quite serious, quite bland talk-show Maurie hosted for years. It was about as serious as journalism can get.

Yeah. That was a long time ago.
posted by bardic at 8:24 AM on June 18, 2006

Ok, there has to be at least one other 40yr old guy like me out there that that was their ultimate Connie Chung fantasy come true.
posted by humboldt32 at 8:24 AM on June 18, 2006

People always says things like "man I couldn't watch, I had to turn it off after x seconds", and I scoff at them. Wimps. Girlymen. Persons of lacking constitution. &c.

I had to turn it off after 30 seconds.
posted by cortex at 8:52 AM on June 18, 2006

Remember when Phil Donahue used to talk about stuff like solar energy for an hour? That was on network televsion, every weekday.

Now, teenage sluts and their moms.
posted by davebush at 8:54 AM on June 18, 2006

Watched the whole thing, bewildered by the fact that, after she gets off the piano, her routine becomes choreographed.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:00 AM on June 18, 2006

But the venture never found an audience

Who exactly is the audience of Maury's show anyway? I'm pretty sure people who tune in to Maury don't tune in for him, and perhaps the same for Chung. If they were replaced, their respective shows could go on.
posted by taursir at 9:13 AM on June 18, 2006

I watch it for the sheer horrible spectacle that is humanity and their capacity for making the worst decisions possible at every turn.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:15 AM on June 18, 2006

The youtube link to Connies song works just fine without that gawker.com permalink-bit . I dunno what that affiliate-type attachments does, I'm just sayin'.....

youtube appends that to incoming links when you click a link based on the flash player. I'm guess they saw the original on gawker and instead of linking to the gawker page where they found it they linked to just the youtube video.
posted by sourbrew at 9:22 AM on June 18, 2006

also the piano dismount grunt == fantastic
posted by sourbrew at 9:22 AM on June 18, 2006

Oh my god that's bad. That's...that's not even funny, it's just horrible.
posted by Hildegarde at 9:56 AM on June 18, 2006

OK, so now we know Connie has a little drinking problem.

It'll be interesting to see how her career goes from this moment forward. I would guess anything serious, sober & professional is kinda out the window. Well, actually, in the wacky world of today, who the hell knows...
posted by dbiedny at 9:57 AM on June 18, 2006

youtube appends that to incoming links when you click a link based on the flash player. I'm guess they saw the original on gawker and instead of linking to the gawker page where they found it they linked to just the youtube video.

Yup, I saw it on fleshbot who linked to gawker who had the video embedded. I linked to the video without actually looking at the url then noticed all that crap later.
posted by puke & cry at 10:02 AM on June 18, 2006 [1 favorite]

Needs a video-mashup treatment.
posted by unmake at 10:10 AM on June 18, 2006

Now, teenage sluts and their moms.

davebush just made me cry a little.
posted by psmealey at 10:17 AM on June 18, 2006

davebush, when you're fed only on controversy and sensationalism, only controversy and sensationalism satisfies.

Science? For nerds. History? For dweebs. Why be educated, when what really we want is cross-dressing trailer trash doing each others' cousins. Now that's entertainment. It's a "chicken and egg" thing - Donahue, Sally Jesse, and their ilk are just following the market, apparently, but the market's been fed on this stuff too long to want to change the channel.

Feh.
posted by FormlessOne at 10:31 AM on June 18, 2006

It occurs to me that maybe she lost a bet. Perhaps her and Maury had a little wager about how long they'd be on the air.
posted by brevator at 10:40 AM on June 18, 2006

Soooooo...did she ever get pregnant, or what?
posted by you just lost the game at 11:28 AM on June 18, 2006

The inclusion of the guy sitting at the piano, grinning like a victim of the Joker's poison gas and not playing, takes this out of the realm of horrible TV and into the realm of brilliant surrealist art.
posted by papakwanz at 12:14 PM on June 18, 2006

Wow.. does it get any better than this?
posted by econous at 12:17 PM on June 18, 2006

Connie could have been Rather's heir on CBS news but lost her way.

I've heard this was because of an interview she did several years ago, in which she mentioned that all US network news had to be cleared by the government before it aired. Of course everybody knows that now, but back then it was a big revelation, and it supposedly caused her to lose her place in line at CBS News. This could all be an urban legend.

"When it comes to the the case of six month old Mauryandconnieshow: you...are...NOT...the father!"
posted by First Post at 12:46 PM on June 18, 2006

pax digita : "I wonder if Maury was less than thrilled by some of the lyrics."

Haha! That's what I was thinking. Stuff about how Maury's back to "Who's the Daddy" shows, etc etc.
posted by graventy at 12:46 PM on June 18, 2006

.
posted by MythMaker at 12:47 PM on June 18, 2006

I've heard this was because of an interview she did several years ago, in which she mentioned that all US network news had to be cleared by the government before it aired.

Huh?
posted by dobbs at 12:53 PM on June 18, 2006

Did anyone see her interview with Stephen Colbert? I think being on TV just makes you bat-shit crazy after awhile.
posted by bukharin at 1:05 PM on June 18, 2006

I'm glad I'm not the only person that was reminded of Imelda Marcos and (a mermaid) Björk...
posted by Davenhill at 1:50 PM on June 18, 2006

Our next American Idol...
posted by Duncan at 2:19 PM on June 18, 2006

I honestly cannot believe this isn't the result of a terribly unfortunate bet. I'd love to hear the story behind this madness.
posted by Space Kitty at 2:29 PM on June 18, 2006

They had to dub out the pianio because they didn't clear the rights to the song. Luckily, Connie never came within an inch of the actual melody, so they could keep her part.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 2:30 PM on June 18, 2006

I'm going with drunk.

Drunk on shame and failure.

Povich continues as host of the long-running syndicated talk show Maury.

Whew, for a second there I was a little worried about America's Paternity Testing and Bootcamps For Out of Control Youth industries.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 3:09 PM on June 18, 2006

pinkstainlesstail wins
posted by pyramid termite at 3:19 PM on June 18, 2006

They had to dub out the pianio because they didn't clear the rights to the song. Luckily, Connie never came within an inch of the actual melody, so they could keep her part.

Seriously? Is that what actually happened? Because it seems so strange to me to have a piano, and a player, but never have him play.
posted by delmoi at 4:13 PM on June 18, 2006

Because it seems so strange to me to have a piano, and a player, but never have him play.

That's what seems strange to you? Perhaps they were worried that if the piano player actually played then Connie might come closer to singing in tune.

I really have to love Connie for being willing to put herself out there just to get a laugh.
posted by rdr at 4:24 PM on June 18, 2006

Everyone, at some point before reaching nibana, must live life as Connie Chung.
posted by Meatbomb at 5:01 PM on June 18, 2006

Seriously? Is that what actually happened?

No, not seriously. At least as far as I know, anyway. I suppose it does fit the facts.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 6:18 PM on June 18, 2006

Surely, this will tarnish her reputation as the woman who asked Gary Condit if he killed Chandra Levy.
posted by dhartung at 6:32 PM on June 18, 2006

The Googles...
posted by drezdn at 7:07 PM on June 18, 2006

In order to accomodate that 'little ditty' in my mental landscape without causing permenant harm, I have decided it must have been conceived by Letterman. It was so surreal, felt like his kind of humour, and he had a long-running "in love with Connie Chung" gag in the 80s and 90s.
posted by Isabeau Sahen at 10:19 PM on June 18, 2006

Their show deserved to be cancelled. It hit its peak before it began, when they advertised the show with fake attack ads against each other. "Maury Povich kills and eats kittens." (okay, not quite that bad, but still amusing.)
posted by Atreides at 5:01 AM on June 19, 2006

my ears, my eyes . . . . stop the madness omg wtf connie chung.
posted by fourcheesemac at 7:49 AM on June 19, 2006

After five tries of watching ten or twenty seconds at a time (thank god for the pause button) I have to say the grunt off the piano is good. But nothing beats that attempt at sex with the ass-wagging against the piano followed by the collapse at the end.
posted by Peter H at 9:55 AM on June 19, 2006

My god Connie, what have you Chung.
posted by Peter H at 9:56 AM on June 19, 2006

I've heard this was because of an interview she did several years ago, in which she mentioned that all US network news had to be cleared by the government before it aired

Are you high?
posted by SweetJesus at 11:16 AM on June 19, 2006

hubby Maury wang Chung tonight
posted by cortex at 12:00 PM on June 19, 2006

She's obviously doing an homage to this Kids in the Hall sketch.
posted by overanxious ducksqueezer at 4:09 PM on June 21, 2006

Sheet man, that chick is 60 years old. Is it just me or does she really not really look 60?
posted by dgaicun at 7:56 PM on June 21, 2006

Connie explained the song on Keith Oberman's show a few days ago. Basically, she said it was a joke. Apparently she does joke songs occasionally at speeches and such. Also, she said the pianist is actually a guy that works at the station, and there's no sound because she sings so off-key having a piano play would throw her off.
posted by puke & cry at 8:46 PM on June 24, 2006 [1 favorite]