Osama bin dead for a month?

September 23, 2006 1:13 AM

Osama bin Dead for a month? PARIS (Reuters) - A French regional newspaper quoted a French secret service report on Saturday as saying that Saudi Arabia is convinced that al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden died of typhoid in Pakistan last month.
posted by gregschoen (105 comments total)

There was a weird flurry of news stories about him about a few weeks ago, including an extremely rare presidential mention. I thought it made suspiciously little political sense; perhaps the CIA knew, and the administration was trying to goad their opponents into making accustations that would look silly when the news came out.

This also would be an excellent candidate for the "October surprise" that Rove recently alluded to.
posted by gsteff at 1:23 AM on September 23, 2006

first on the web
posted by growabrain at 1:24 AM on September 23, 2006

Agreed gsteff, I thought the same thing, kinda weird how they suddenly decided that bin Laden was a threat again.
posted by gregschoen at 1:25 AM on September 23, 2006

Wait, I could've sworn that Bin Laden was safely hiding out in a Hollywood studio. . .seriously.
posted by my homunculus is drowning at 1:36 AM on September 23, 2006

Too bad this will spoil Karl Rove's promised october surprise...
posted by Baud at 1:46 AM on September 23, 2006

We've heard the story of the untimely demise of Osama bin Laden before. I think it would be prudent not to get excited until we have a bit more information than the result of a game of telephone from the somebody -> the Saudis -> DGSE - > L'Est Republicain.
posted by moonbiter at 2:08 AM on September 23, 2006

It's like a plot by HG Wells.
posted by gsb at 2:11 AM on September 23, 2006

Furthermore, it's also more than a little hard to believe that the leader of the most infamous terrorist organization in the world can't get ahold of some antibiotics to treat typhoid, even given the fact he is hiding in backwater Pakistan.
posted by moonbiter at 2:19 AM on September 23, 2006

I truly am not that concerned about him.
posted by Mocata at 2:27 AM on September 23, 2006

It's funny how fast this newsfilter stuff gets to the front page of MetaFilter. True or not.

Not meant as criticism; it really is a little funny. Web-folk, funny people, us.
posted by cgc373 at 2:51 AM on September 23, 2006

Typhoid, you are America's only remaining friend.
posted by aubilenon at 3:12 AM on September 23, 2006 [1 favorite]

This also would be an excellent candidate for the "October surprise" that Rove recently alluded to.

I have never been much of a chess player, so I guess I'm not seeing it. How could the Rovians spin bin Laden's death (by natural causes), into something positive for the Bush Adm, and by extension the Republicans? I think this time around, even the mouth breathers might think that their taking credit for it would be a stretch.
posted by psmealey at 3:24 AM on September 23, 2006

we had this bin laden stuff before the bush/kerry election as well - the republicans had secretly planned to capture him before the election etc
posted by sgt.serenity at 3:27 AM on September 23, 2006

If you think about it, if they knew about this, their best move would have been to sit on it until around October, and then have bin Laden 'killed' in a special forces attack.

It makes the administration look good, CIA/NSA looks like its doing a bang-up job on information gathering (maybe bin Laden's location was discovered thanks to the wiretap program) and the military gets a boost in morale thanks bin Laden being dead.

Then the Republicans get a much needed bump in the poles right before the election, and the Senate and House stay friendly to the White House and Bush doesn't need to spend his last 2 years in office fending off impeachment attempts.

</conspiracy theory>

I'm not sure that they could really coordinate that, but it makes for some interesting ideas.
posted by gregschoen at 3:31 AM on September 23, 2006

Not this "October surprise" stuff again. Didn't happen last time, did it?
posted by reklaw at 3:46 AM on September 23, 2006

Well psmealey, the Rovians have never had trouble in the past putting a positive spin on things. I don't see them having much problem with something like this.
Let's see. We put relentless pressure on OBL. It was our plan to isolate him in the mountains of (wherever)
until his frail body succumbed to (whatever). We successfully accomplished our mission with the least number of casualties to our soldiers etc., etc.
posted by notreally at 4:04 AM on September 23, 2006

and then we kept it a secret for a month or two because...
posted by shmegegge at 4:16 AM on September 23, 2006

We successfully accomplished our mission with the least number of casualties to our soldiers etc., etc.

That's my point exactly, notreally. It's just too much of a stretch, even the morans would be skeptical of that angle. I think gregschoen's theory is more plausible, but hopefully -- if this story is true: BIG if -- this news will prevent them from being able to make up some bombs bursting in air/rockets red glare bullshit scenario.
posted by psmealey at 4:25 AM on September 23, 2006

Typhoid germs... that were secretly slipped into his cheerios by ...
posted by R. Mutt at 4:26 AM on September 23, 2006 [1 favorite]

I would take this with an appropriately sized grain of salt but I wouldn't want to desalinate the world's oceans.
posted by srboisvert at 4:33 AM on September 23, 2006 [1 favorite]

notreally, taking some credit for this might be too much of a temptation to resist. Bin Ladin is dead. Let's say we did it. But he died of typhoid. Let's say we did not poison all wells, but that we used the most advanced military gadgetry to inject the right dose into his morning cup of coffee. But why did we keep silent about it for so long? Well, satellite images indicated his dead body was still driving to the shooting range and the local tea-room and the gym. So we just waited until he was really stone cold before leaking the report.

Isn't this how secret services work?
posted by Laotic at 4:43 AM on September 23, 2006

French Defense Minister wants to launch a probe to find the leak of the information on bin Laden and bring criminal charges against them.
posted by gregschoen at 4:45 AM on September 23, 2006

Also, the story has now been picked up by CBS.
posted by gregschoen at 4:46 AM on September 23, 2006

This also would be an excellent candidate for the "October surprise" that Rove recently alluded to.

except the u s can't take credit for typhoid ... in fact, it's probably the worst case scenario, if true, because verification may be hard to come by ... or be disbelieved by many people

you know the conspiracy crowd will have a field day with this ... for the next 20, 30 years we'll be hearing rumors that he really didn't die, etc etc ... and unless we can get ahold of the body, i'm not sure i'm going to believe it, either

al qaida knows that hiding the body would put us in an awkward position ... we would never be able to say for sure he was dead
posted by pyramid termite at 4:51 AM on September 23, 2006

I saw Elvis today, in Grand Rapids.









with Osama...
posted by HuronBob at 4:59 AM on September 23, 2006

time to stake out the burger king on stadium drive, i think, they might come down here ...
posted by pyramid termite at 5:09 AM on September 23, 2006

"It's funny how fast this newsfilter stuff gets to the front page of MetaFilter. True or not."

Not only funny but one of my main reasons for my being a member here. Having to scan the various "legitimate" news filters takes time and all too often makes me miss important items. Somehow our numbers here allow us to get in on a good story with amazing speed that also includes comments and further information.
Good work Matt and Co.
posted by donfactor at 5:23 AM on September 23, 2006 [1 favorite]

Then the Republicans get a much needed bump in the poles...

I, for one, would love to see certain Republicans get a bump in the poles. Not in the polls, though.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:34 AM on September 23, 2006

I truly am not that concerned about him.
posted by Mocata

Wow. Now I guess we know what alias George Bush posts under ... :)
posted by kaemaril at 5:45 AM on September 23, 2006

I, for one, would love to see certain Republicans get a bump in the poles. Not in the polls, though.

Dammit, I knew that looked wrong, I was up all night, gimme a break.

And forgive me for the pun to start the thread off. I couldn't help myself.
posted by gregschoen at 5:49 AM on September 23, 2006

If he's really dead, it's fitting he never got a chance to see this happen.
posted by gregschoen at 5:56 AM on September 23, 2006 [1 favorite]

Having him pass from natural causes would be best. The world is rid of his presence and there is less blame on the US and Western world.

As for political shenanigans, did anyone see Clinton's angry Fox interview the other day where he claimed at least he tried to get Bin Laden and others (GW) did not?
posted by caddis at 6:00 AM on September 23, 2006

Now I finally understand why the US pounded so much of Afghanistan's infrastructure to rubble, including sewage and water-processing plans, in October 2001. Man, that's long-range planning.

(I'm a glass-half-full type of guy. Half full of what, I can't say.)
posted by Hogshead at 6:02 AM on September 23, 2006

As for political shenanigans, did anyone see Clinton's angry Fox interview the other day where he claimed at least he tried to get Bin Laden and others (GW) did not?

I couldn't find a video of the interview anywhere, not even on the Foxnews site, but I did find an article on it from Times of India.
posted by gregschoen at 6:07 AM on September 23, 2006

Ah saw Bigfoot once...it made a sound ah would not want to hear twice 'n mah life!
posted by Smart Dalek at 6:11 AM on September 23, 2006

He's Dead!! Mission accomplished. Now pull troops out of Afghanistan and Iraq and bring them home. Dump Patriot Act...We win; they lose.
posted by Postroad at 6:33 AM on September 23, 2006

This sounds like the work of the Simon & Schuster team promoting Pervez Musharref's new book. Now we know how it ends... Bin Laden dies of typhoid while in Pakistan.
posted by Frank Grimes at 6:36 AM on September 23, 2006

Well, satellite images indicated his dead body was still driving to the shooting range and the local tea-room and the gym. So we just waited until he was really stone cold before leaking the report.

That just made me think of the perfect movie. Think "Weekend at Osama's". :-)
posted by Cironian at 6:36 AM on September 23, 2006 [1 favorite]

Hows this scenario sit wit' ya:
Rove's October surprise was going to be that Osama was killed by American forces. Because in fact he's been on ice for a while now. The French, being cranky with us but also crafty, sneak this new bit out, with layers of plausible deniablity and hearsay (newspaper says french intelligence says saudi intellegence believes) in order to steal the thunder of the surprise; sowing in seeds of doubt making it appear that the administration is grandstanding and taking credit for a natural occurence.
posted by Osmanthus at 6:37 AM on September 23, 2006

As for political shenanigans, did anyone see Clinton's angry Fox interview the other day where he claimed at least he tried to get Bin Laden and others (GW) did not?

This is a partial transcript I think, of what you're talking about.
posted by Flashman at 6:41 AM on September 23, 2006

sowing in seeds of doubt making it appear that the administration is grandstanding and taking credit for a natural occurence.

Sacre blu, that would be a neat trick.
posted by Skygazer at 6:52 AM on September 23, 2006

I figured after the WTC went down that the best thing Bin Laden could do for his cause was jump in a wood chipper or volcano or something and basically disappear off the face of the earth. Minus his body, Bush would always seem like a loser.

Of course, that was a long time ago, and I really don't think that's an issue anymore. Trying to make Bush always seem like a loser, I mean.
posted by stinkycheese at 7:04 AM on September 23, 2006

At least this means that we've won the war on terror.
posted by Flashman at 7:19 AM on September 23, 2006

That just made me think of the perfect movie. Think "Weekend at Osama's". :-)

Followed by a sequel, "Weekend at Osama's 2." Who do you think we could cast in the Andrew McCarthy character?
posted by gregschoen at 7:19 AM on September 23, 2006

Not character, I meant role. That's it, its time to go to bed.
posted by gregschoen at 7:24 AM on September 23, 2006

Mission accomplished!
posted by Vindaloo at 7:34 AM on September 23, 2006

And, incidentally, Typhoid has been identified as the great plague of Athens Thucydides described in The History of the Peloponnesian War.

Secret of ancient Athens plague is being unraveled
Scientists solve puzzle of death of Pericles
Typhoid May Have Caused Fall of Athens, Study Finds

Pericles and Osama--there are two names you wouldn't expect to see in connection.
posted by y2karl at 7:38 AM on September 23, 2006 [1 favorite]

osmanthus - Hows this scenario sit wit' ya:

that's quite possible, only i would correct it to the french being duped by the saudis ... (they might have a reason to do that ... even more plausibly, the saudis could have been misled by pakistani sources, which would make all sorts of sense ... they now have a way out ... "he's dead" ... or "oh, you found him? ... we thought he was dead" ... neat)

it occurs to me that if bin laden is still alive, the smartest thing he could do is to permanently shut up now and have his deputies confirm this ... (or possibly not - the less u s intelligence is given to look at, the better the story holds together)

if osama's death by typhoid gets enough play in the media, there will always be a little doubt among some if bin laden is captured, a little more if he is killed and his body is recovered, and all kinds of doubt if the u s never finds him

you know the conspiracy mavens will have a field day with this ... and most importantly, much of the arab world is conspiracy minded ... they will insist now that any osama we kill or capture is a plant and point to this story as "proof", even if this story is 100% crap

if it's not true, it's a first rate piece of black propaganda
posted by pyramid termite at 7:44 AM on September 23, 2006

Hmmmm, who do trust less, the Saudis or the French?
posted by tommasz at 7:49 AM on September 23, 2006

i just checked around the major news sites and this story is getting a good deal of play
posted by pyramid termite at 7:53 AM on September 23, 2006

Bush: We need to find this Typhoid character, and we need to thank him. The world owes him a debt of gratitude.
posted by jimmythefish at 7:54 AM on September 23, 2006 [2 favorites]

It's CBC.com's lead story right now. Bin Laden is a red herring. I'll bet that, right now, there's some other former partying frat boy-turned religious crusader out there ready to take...his....uh....oh wait. Right. Never mind.
posted by jimmythefish at 8:02 AM on September 23, 2006

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1538569,00.html

Tiome Magazine give Saudi reports to suggest he died
here is the Clinton b ashing of Fox video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UwJabtvSUQ
posted by Postroad at 8:24 AM on September 23, 2006

Typhoid germs... that were secretly slipped into his cheerios by ...

"We've secretly replaced his coffee with Folger's typhoid germs."


I hadn't seen any of the Clinton/Faux Newzzz interview. I assume this is the one where Chris Wallace, after agreeing they were going to discuss Clinton's Global Initiative meetings, immediately tossed a stinkbomb at Bill?


[Chris Wallace has the same problem as Duhbya - he's not half the man his father is.]
posted by NorthernLite at 8:43 AM on September 23, 2006

This is NOT good news for Mr. October Surprise- Karl Rove.

If this is for real, the Bush people were probably trying to suppress it.

Why? Bin Laden dead = less fearful voters in November.

They pretended for all these years to hunt him down- so this is, I think, a serious blow to The White House propagandists.
posted by wfc123 at 8:49 AM on September 23, 2006

Postroad,

that video is so awfully out of sync with the sound it seems almost intentional just to validate their title "bill clinton freaks out"
posted by mulligan at 8:53 AM on September 23, 2006

CIA reports indicate that he was crazy for organic spinach, you know
posted by matteo at 8:56 AM on September 23, 2006 [2 favorites]

I think the clinton video is going to be broadcast sunday.
posted by delmoi at 9:09 AM on September 23, 2006

BBC
Probe into "Osama death" leak.
posted by adamvasco at 9:13 AM on September 23, 2006

It's our new strategy in the war on terror: wait long enough, and they'll all die of natural causes.
posted by Mcable at 9:22 AM on September 23, 2006

you know the conspiracy crowd will have a field day with this ... for the next 20, 30 years we'll be hearing rumors that he really didn't die, etc etc
posted by pyramid termite at 4:51 AM PST

Bah, most of the 'conspiracy' crowd had him dead in 2002 when the last round of death announcements hit.

Bin Laden is a sick man - he has failing organs. How COULD he make 20, 30 more years?
posted by rough ashlar at 9:33 AM on September 23, 2006

As a Canadian comedian once said, Canadians know exactly where bin Laden is. He's driving a cab in Montreal.
posted by illiad at 9:34 AM on September 23, 2006

Now I wonder if OBL has had the foresight to make a "reports of my death are greatly exaggerated" video?
posted by taosbat at 9:42 AM on September 23, 2006

Crooks and Liars has a transcript of the Matthews/Clinton interview.
posted by Lazlo Hollyfeld at 9:50 AM on September 23, 2006

I was hoping he'd die whilst being captured. Then videos would surface of his corpse being fed to pigs and the pigs feces being dumped into the sewers of Tel Aviv.

Happy martyrdom!
posted by acetonic at 9:52 AM on September 23, 2006

Bush needs Osama alive and at large as a boogeyman -- if this is true, it's not because of us, but i'm betting it's totally not true. The Saudis are Bush pals also, and have lied before for us.

"You complete me, Osama"
/Bush's wetdreams
posted by amberglow at 10:14 AM on September 23, 2006

Should this story be true (and there are no facts supporting anything I've read so far in coverage), two things spring to mind.
First, a line from the Qu'ran:
"Ask forgiveness for your brother...as now he is faced with his accountability."
Second, given where this guy's headed, I sure hope he remembered to pack fire-retardant pants.
posted by runningdogofcapitalism at 10:17 AM on September 23, 2006

you know the conspiracy crowd will have a field day with this ...

This is important because the majority of the population puts a lot of stock into what the conspiracy crowd has to say. Or is that just here?
posted by Krrrlson at 10:26 AM on September 23, 2006

I don't believe Bin Laden is dead, but there have been a few weird developments lately which sort of make me wonder if there hasn't been a shift in strategy or some better intelligence:

1) They are talking about Bin Laden again in the USA. I was always a little suspcious that you haven't heard GWB mention Osama very much, but I chalked it up to the fact that Operation Madusa - the most likely way to find/catch/kill Bin Laden was a Canadian-led NATO gig.

On a side note, I always wondered what the right-wing American media or GWB would say if Canadian or NATO troops were the ones who captured Osama, and if Canada would run the trial. The consensus among Canadians is that we probably would invent some foggy story and quietly turn him over to the Americans, or possibly the Hague.

2) The fiesty Bill Clinton seems to be out of his recent character. Since leaving office Clinton hasn't participated much in the daily political fray, gentlemanly speaking tours, relief efforts, and the type of causes that nobody can really find fault in have been his specialty and he's gone out of his way to avoid criticism of GWB.

3) These rumours death of Bin Laden rumours do pop-up from time-to-time, but its usually an obscure Pakistani newspaper quoting an obscure Pakistani military officer, this rumour is a bit different. The French/Saudi basis for this current rumour is also strange, unlike most of the countries that usually feed this kind of rumour - the French are not involved in the War on Terror and I don't see any motive for them to lie.

I tent to believe that where there is smoke there is fire, but I am not quite ready to call this smoke. A series of notable developments so far....
posted by Deep Dish at 10:27 AM on September 23, 2006

This is important because the majority of the population puts a lot of stock into what the conspiracy crowd has to say

actually, it does matter in the middle east, because a lot of stock is put into conspiracy theories over there ... it's absurd, but it remains a political reality
posted by pyramid termite at 11:32 AM on September 23, 2006

This is how cynical I've become. I saw the headline this morning and without even reading the story I thought "Huh, are the French messing with a Bush October Surprise?" I hadn't even seen any of those reports about Rove predicting something.
posted by CunningLinguist at 11:43 AM on September 23, 2006

Deep, they're talking about him because of the Election, i think. They've been raising the fear of TERROR!!!!!!!! level for a while now, and they can't use Saddam, and they've already had 75,000 Al Qaeda #2s.
posted by amberglow at 11:45 AM on September 23, 2006

This also would be an excellent candidate for the "October surprise" that Rove recently alluded to.

When Ronald Reagan died in June of 2004, I imagined Karl Rove secretly cursing him out for not having had the wherewithal (read: proper devotion to the Republican party) to hang on until about the second or third week of October.
posted by anjamu at 11:58 AM on September 23, 2006

DGSE
posted by pwedza at 11:59 AM on September 23, 2006

Deep dish: The French are not involved in the War on Terror.

In the WOT™ à la Bush, perhaps not, but there are a few hundreds French troops (>700 in 2005) in Afghanistan, including 200 special forces participating in the hunt for Bin Laden, so the involvement of French authorities is not surprising. In any case, there are (centuries-)old historical ties, glorious or infamous, between the French and Middle Eastern countries, with corresponding communication channels.
posted by elgilito at 12:19 PM on September 23, 2006 [1 favorite]

Time Magazine quotes a Saudi source: "Fugitive Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden, believed to be on the run in rugged terrain in the Afghan-Pakistani border region since the September 11 attacks five years ago, has become seriously ill and may have already died, a Saudi source tells TIME, echoing earlier reports in the French media.

The source, speaking on condition of anonymity, says that Saudi officials have received multiple credible reports over the last several weeks that Bin Laden has been suffering from a water-borne illness. The source believes that there is a "high probability" that Bin Laden has already died from the disease, but stressed that Saudi officials have thus far received no concrete evidence of Bin Laden's death."

CNN also quotes a source: "Osama bin Laden has a water-borne illness, a Saudi intelligence source told CNN on Saturday, a report that conflicts with an article in a French newspaper saying that the al Qaeda leader is dead.

The Saudi intelligence source told CNN's Nic Robertson that there have been credible reports for the past several weeks that bin Laden is ill, but there has been no word of his death."
posted by ericb at 12:20 PM on September 23, 2006

because a lot of stock is put into conspiracy theories over there ... it's absurd, but it remains a political reality

It's actually not absurd when you consider that the reality of living under autocratic, secretive regimes which stifle all political thought, such as in Syria, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, etc. is often even more absurd then the cospiracy theories. Living day-to-day under a living, breathing conspiracy to keep the people down and a small group of elites in power makes the idea that outside forces are the true, larger conspiracy (and in a certain way of looking at it, they are) attractive.
posted by cell divide at 12:34 PM on September 23, 2006

Deep Dish writes "the French are not involved in the War on Terror"

That's a remarkably ignorant thing to say.
posted by clevershark at 12:37 PM on September 23, 2006

I love how quickly both France and the US came out and said "we aren't 100% sure he's dead."

DON'T TAKE OUR #1 BOGEYMAN AWAY! HE'S ALIVE! HONEST! PLEASE STILL BE AFRAID AND VOTE FOR US!

Pathetic.
posted by Effigy2000 at 12:47 PM on September 23, 2006

Wouldn't bin Laden's death of natural causes (and not enemy fire) be the best case scenario?

If bin Laden goes down in a hail of fire he gets all the glory of excitement and martyrdom, inspriring new followers. But if he dies of typhoid after sitting in a spider hole for 5 years, that life doesn't look so attractive.

He'd probably be happier in Guantanomo. Those guys get to play soccer and don't die of typhoid. Plus incarceration by an enemy is much more inspiring than death by drinking water with poop in it.
posted by b_thinky at 1:22 PM on September 23, 2006

Just another great example today of how the White House controls the mainstream news content in this country.

The Nazi's would have been proud.
posted by wfc123 at 1:24 PM on September 23, 2006

It truly is a negative for Rove/Bush/Cheney/GOP that this guy has passed way.


The masses will feel "safer" now that he has died, because it's been pounded into their tiny minds that OBL is the root of all evil.
posted by wfc123 at 1:26 PM on September 23, 2006

"They rediscover bin Laden every two years right before the election. If you had a business strategy that worked all the time that was premised on scaring the living daylights out of people, you just keep doing it."

- Bill Clinton on Bloomberg Television's 'Political Capital with Al Hunt'
posted by ericb at 1:33 PM on September 23, 2006

Angry Clinton (YT via Drudge)
posted by paxton at 2:02 PM on September 23, 2006

The comments on that YouTube link (which was titled "Clinton Freaks Out") were quite annoying.

I'm sick of the right freaking out when liberals get angry. God damn it, if you're not angry, you're not paying attention.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:08 PM on September 23, 2006

Another bullhorn moment
posted by amberglow at 2:14 PM on September 23, 2006

I'm sick of the right freaking out when liberals get angry.

That's the whole point. They know that anger wins elections. This is why they tell the democrats that anger doesn't win elections.

They unload both barells on any liberal who does get angry, because they can't afford that to catch on.
posted by eriko at 2:57 PM on September 23, 2006

This is actually making its way to "real" news sources now too. Just heard it on CBS AM out of NY.
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 3:02 PM on September 23, 2006

it does matter in the middle east, because a lot of stock is put into conspiracy theories over there
posted by pyramid termite at 11:32 AM PST

VS the truth in the local news media for its reporting of the actual reality in the Middle East?

It is the great western media that reports on what they know without holding back is why there are no "conspiracy theories" in the West.
posted by rough ashlar at 3:07 PM on September 23, 2006

In the WOT™ à la Bush, perhaps not, but there are a few hundreds French troops (>700 in 2005) in Afghanistan, including 200 special forces participating in the hunt for Bin Laden, so the involvement of French authorities is not surprising. In any case, there are (centuries-)old historical ties, glorious or infamous, between the French and Middle Eastern countries, with corresponding communication channels.

I stand corrected, last reports I heard the troops in Medusa were Canadian, British, US, Dutch, and Afghan.
posted by Deep Dish at 3:48 PM on September 23, 2006

That's the whole point. They know that anger wins elections. This is why they tell the democrats that anger doesn't win elections.

Howard Dean is angry. Is he a winner?
posted by b_thinky at 4:20 PM on September 23, 2006

If I was Rove and knew that OBL was dead, I would leak the story at an opportune time, then loudly denounce the leaker, maybe even with a trial. That way, many of my opponents wouldn't claims that it was an intentional withholding or leak, for fear of looking foolish.
posted by Kickstart70 at 4:43 PM on September 23, 2006

The French got it all wrong:

"Mir maintains that bin Laden is alive, well, and living the lawless frontier of Pakistan. He says that the al Qaeda leader completed his plans for an 'American Hiroshima' - - a nuclear attack on major metropolitan areas throughout the U. S. and has gained the approval of some Muslim scholars to kill millions of American civilians."
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:45 PM on September 23, 2006

Holy shit that transcript is amazing. I almost wish I got Fox News.
posted by hoborg at 6:02 PM on September 23, 2006

OBL dead and gasoline prices dropping like a rock these past few weeks.

Gosh, I'm real surprised. It's not like there's any need to buy an election or anything. Nooooo.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:14 PM on September 23, 2006

I stand corrected, last reports I heard the troops in Medusa were Canadian, British, US, Dutch, and Afghan.

I'm damn sure there are Canadian troops there. At least 2300 of our guys are there. We Canucks are getting a little pissed off that they keep getting killed. It's especially grating when it's the American's engaging in "friendly" fucking firing on our guys for the umpteenth time, and when our asshole allies in Pakistan release a bunch of fucking Taliban with weapons back into the country.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:17 PM on September 23, 2006

Well, even if he's dead, he nonetheless managed to outlive the American dream.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:37 PM on September 23, 2006

His FBI Most Wanted page still has no mention at all of 9/11.
posted by amberglow at 10:51 PM on September 23, 2006

Why would the FBI want him? Do you think they'd really know what to do with him?
posted by five fresh fish at 12:27 AM on September 24, 2006

It's especially grating when it's the American's engaging in 'friendly' fucking firing on our guys

That's freedom fucking firing.
posted by kirkaracha at 8:22 AM on September 24, 2006

Think about what Karl Rove must be thinking right now, and then think of what his counterpart in Al Quaida must be thinking how to spin this. Come to think of of it Karl Rove and Al Quaida Karl Rove aren't that different. Maybe even exactly alike.
posted by keds at 12:05 PM on September 24, 2006

Perhaps the whole thing is just a CIA plot to smoke him out?
posted by caddis at 6:37 PM on September 24, 2006

If bin Laden is smoked out, then that would imply bin Laden approves of Bush's performance, and wishes to help him win the November elections.

Because bin Laden, afaict, is not a stupid man. He has been gone to ground for a long while. He would not decide to show his face unless he had a purpose in mind. He is aware of how his appearance will hurt or help his cause.

It is interesting there is a common bond between bin Laden and George Bush: the House of Saud.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:59 PM on September 24, 2006

Osama bin Laden died again - Vote Republican
posted by homunculus at 8:21 PM on September 24, 2006

Oh, look, Bin Laden rumors again come to nothing.
posted by moonbiter at 10:24 PM on September 26, 2006