CmdrTaco: 16,777,216 comments should be enough for everyone

November 9, 2006 9:48 AM

Slashdot runs out of comments
posted by forwebsites (74 comments total)

Last post!

Sorry, couldn't resist.
posted by mbrutsch at 9:50 AM on November 9, 2006

2^24 post!
posted by hal9k at 9:50 AM on November 9, 2006 [1 favorite]

Slashdot without threading! It's kind of like..... Metafilter.
posted by zsazsa at 9:58 AM on November 9, 2006 [1 favorite]

It still amazes me that, for a brief time, it was possible to be an illiterate mediocre programmer and still get rich.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 10:01 AM on November 9, 2006 [4 favorites]

ok..my "/." tag was converted to a "-." by MeFi. I tried escaping it with "\/.", but it turned out to be a "\.". Duh!! How to fix it ?
posted by forwebsites at 10:03 AM on November 9, 2006

Kind of makes delmoi's 10,000 look pretty weak, huh?
posted by dead_ at 10:04 AM on November 9, 2006

Luckily, Mefi's got a ways to go. Unless we're running on varchar(8) or something. Also, why the -. tag?
posted by hoborg at 10:04 AM on November 9, 2006

Of course, 15 million of those comments are goatse links, slash fic about the editors, ascii goatse, or FIRST POSTs.
posted by Captain_Tenille at 10:06 AM on November 9, 2006

Quick, now is our opportunity to take them out.

[scary Kurgan voice]

There can be only one.
posted by quin at 10:08 AM on November 9, 2006

Slashdot ran out of comments many, many years ago.
posted by loquacious at 10:09 AM on November 9, 2006 [7 favorites]

It still amazes me that, for a brief time, it was possible to be an illiterate mediocre programmer and still get rich.

It's still possible. You have to now market to technically clueless niche markets like certain universities or electronic voting machine purchasers.
posted by sonofsamiam at 10:15 AM on November 9, 2006

Heck, you could even go work for Microsoft.
posted by loquacious at 10:20 AM on November 9, 2006

So... This is something only slashdot users would be concerned about, and there's a posting about it on slashdot...

I can't wait for the slashdot posts about MeFi downtime or technical issues.
posted by splice at 10:21 AM on November 9, 2006

More to the point: should anyone ever let the /.ers live this down, give how often they snark like bratty little punks about MicroSuxx0r$$$?
posted by hincandenza at 10:25 AM on November 9, 2006

awww loquacious beat me to it.
posted by casconed at 10:27 AM on November 9, 2006

It's official, Netcraft has confirmed it: Slashdot is Dying

Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered Slashdot community when recently the Slashdot editors confirmed that Slashdot's comments database has grown to exceed the available table space.

Coming on the heels of the latest Netcraft survey which plainly states that Slashdot is a haven for trolls, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Slashdot is collapsing in complete disarray, as fittingly exemplified by failing dead last in the recent list of Natalie Portman-related technology websites.
posted by owenkun at 10:30 AM on November 9, 2006

Thousands of Comic Book Guys in their mom's basements scream out in horror ....
posted by Big_B at 10:30 AM on November 9, 2006

Score: 5 (Funny)

[insert comment that isn't actually funny]
posted by jefbla at 10:33 AM on November 9, 2006

I can't wait for the slashdot posts about MeFi downtime or technical issues.

If they did that they would overrun their index type limits...
posted by srboisvert at 10:41 AM on November 9, 2006

awww loquacious beat me to it.

and in Soviet Russia, loquacious beats YOU!
posted by YoBananaBoy at 10:49 AM on November 9, 2006

owenkun:

It's official, Netcraft has confirmed it: Slashdot is Dying

Truely an American icon...
posted by dr_dank at 10:50 AM on November 9, 2006

DDDDEELLLLMMMMOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIII!
posted by OmieWise at 10:52 AM on November 9, 2006

see what happens when you don't police the FPPs!

kidding, of course...i'm an FPP liberal
posted by troybob at 10:53 AM on November 9, 2006

Slashdot running out of comments... Wow. I always figured the HDD's woulda given out before the database index.

Obligitory:

I, for one, welcome our Unsigned Int overlords.


In Soviet Russa, Int signs YOU!!!
posted by TrueVox at 10:54 AM on November 9, 2006 [1 favorite]

[insert comment that isn't actually funny]

im in yr database overflowing yr primary keys
posted by Armitage Shanks at 11:01 AM on November 9, 2006 [4 favorites]

and in Soviet Russia, loquacious beats YOU!

DAMN STRAIGHT.
posted by loquacious at 11:15 AM on November 9, 2006

It looks seriously better without the threading. And because they're not composing for threads, it reads much better than in flat view.
posted by bonaldi at 11:17 AM on November 9, 2006

I blame linux.
posted by eyeballkid at 11:29 AM on November 9, 2006 [1 favorite]

It's almost readable this way.
posted by signal at 11:32 AM on November 9, 2006

Is there an inappropriate way to flog oneself?
posted by Wolfdog at 11:38 AM on November 9, 2006

Is that a promise, big boy?

I wonder how much flights to Russia are running these days...
posted by nebulawindphone at 11:47 AM on November 9, 2006

(Actually, now that I think about it, the time travel would probably be the biggest expense.)
posted by nebulawindphone at 11:48 AM on November 9, 2006

It boggles the mind that they're running that site on mysql and perl.
posted by gsteff at 11:48 AM on November 9, 2006

I'm glad i never gave them 5 dollars.
posted by Hicksu at 11:51 AM on November 9, 2006

Loquacious is gonna beat us 'til we're straight?
posted by mistermoore at 11:52 AM on November 9, 2006

Sure, make it an unsigned int, but you just know that in another 8-9 years you're going to have the same problem all over again!

If they used a bigint they'd be good for 18446744073709551615 comments.
posted by clevershark at 11:57 AM on November 9, 2006

er, unsigned bigint. That's 18.4 quintillion comments.
posted by clevershark at 11:58 AM on November 9, 2006

It is official; Slashdot confirms: Slashdot is dying
posted by keswick at 12:04 PM on November 9, 2006

oh damn, i was beaten.
posted by keswick at 12:05 PM on November 9, 2006

It boggles the mind that they're running that site on mysql and perl.

Yea, they should be running ColdFusion.
posted by octothorpe at 12:05 PM on November 9, 2006 [5 favorites]

gsteff writes "It boggles the mind that they're running that site on mysql and perl."

Actually what really boggles the mind is that so many companies are willing to stake their online reputation on IIS and SQL Server... [shudder]
posted by clevershark at 12:20 PM on November 9, 2006

Nothing to see here.
posted by knave at 12:41 PM on November 9, 2006

It boggles the mind that they're running that site on mysql and perl.

I can't say much for mysql (never ran it on anything that big) but there are bigger sites than /. that run perl. mod_perl is pimptified.
posted by sonofsamiam at 12:49 PM on November 9, 2006

Loquacious is gonna beat us 'til we're straight?

Never straight, always forward. Or something. Whatever. Look, I'm not going to spank you at all unless you change out of that clown suit. That shit costs extra.
posted by loquacious at 1:08 PM on November 9, 2006

We must move FORWARD, not BACKWARD! UPWARD, not FORWARD! and always TWIRLING, TWIRLING, TWIRLING towards freedom.
posted by sonofsamiam at 1:12 PM on November 9, 2006

16,777,216 comments? Can you imagine a beowulf cluster of those?
posted by machaus at 1:13 PM on November 9, 2006

mysql and perl

That's how amazon is run. Well, they might use postgresql, but, you know, same basic thing. That's how a ton of major high-traffic sites are run. What would you suggest instead?
posted by blacklite at 1:26 PM on November 9, 2006

I have a really hard time imagining that amazon uses perl. I assume they use old fashioned cgi or some java solution. I'd guess that a site like slashdot, if they could do it over, would use php or some java-based solution from the apache jakarta brand. The db is more forgivable, since they aren't doing anything fancy, and last I heard it had better replication solutions than postgres, but it all depends on how much money you have available for hardware. There's no question that postgres makes life easier for your programmers.
posted by gsteff at 1:44 PM on November 9, 2006

It boggles the mind that they're running that site on mysql and perl.

Go away or I'll replace you with a very tiny perl script that resembles unintelligble line noise.

Note: poster is not actually a perl coder, nor does he resemble one or play one on TV, but appreciates the beauty and mad-scientist power that is perl.
posted by loquacious at 1:53 PM on November 9, 2006

Go away or I'll replace you with a very tiny perl script that resembles unintelligble line noise.

Hah! What you don't realize is that I'm actually a CS undergrad's final Lisp project.
posted by gsteff at 2:05 PM on November 9, 2006 [2 favorites]

I'd guess that a site like slashdot, if they could do it over, would use php or some java-based solution from the apache jakarta brand.

What you fail to realize is that PHP is exactly like perl, except worse in every way.
posted by sonofsamiam at 2:13 PM on November 9, 2006 [2 favorites]

That's how amazon is run. Well, they might use postgresql, but, you know, same basic thing.

No. Not the same thing. Not even close.
posted by cellphone at 2:13 PM on November 9, 2006

/. 2.0
posted by los pijamas del gato at 2:18 PM on November 9, 2006

gsteff: "Go away or I'll replace you with a very tiny perl script that resembles unintelligble line noise.

Hah! What you don't realize is that I'm actually a CS undergrad's final Lisp project."

Does this mean we poor slashdotters have to make our stupid nerd jokes over here?
Like:
perl is a write-only language
or
I just finished my Lisp assignment; the last two lines were:
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
posted by PontifexPrimus at 2:23 PM on November 9, 2006

It's depressing that the jokes here are the same as on Slashdot.
posted by grouse at 2:31 PM on November 9, 2006

IMDB runs on Perl, too, just for the record.

>>It boggles the mind that they're running that site on mysql and perl.

>Yea, they should be running ColdFusion.

Is there a category stronger than "favourite"? I guess favourite will have to do.
posted by AmbroseChapel at 2:43 PM on November 9, 2006 [1 favorite]

Is there away to find comment number 16,777,266? I wonder what it was.
posted by AmbroseChapel at 2:46 PM on November 9, 2006

Hah! What you don't realize is that I'm actually a CS undergrad's final Lisp project.

Fascinating! I'm a undergrad's Prolog project. We should go grab a byte or two somewhere. You're not... 16 bit, are you?
posted by loquacious at 3:00 PM on November 9, 2006

There's no way anything written in Prolog is that verbose. No way.
posted by grouse at 3:17 PM on November 9, 2006

"Gaily forward, never straight", loquacious.

(as learned from my gay ex...long story)
posted by bitter-girl.com at 3:30 PM on November 9, 2006

Slashdot without threading = no digg
posted by BeerFilter at 3:46 PM on November 9, 2006

1. Create Slashdot
2. Run up comments
3. ???
4. profit
posted by seanyboy at 3:54 PM on November 9, 2006 [1 favorite]

Sweet frozen christ!
This thread is like that nightmare I had where I was gang-raped by a pack of surly memes.

only less sexy..
posted by Parannoyed at 4:20 PM on November 9, 2006

You're not... 16 bit, are you?

Not at all. In fact, I'm big-endian.
posted by gsteff at 4:33 PM on November 9, 2006

Wow, I'm clearly not nerdy enough for this thread.
posted by sharpener at 4:51 PM on November 9, 2006

In the un-thread for the announcement, the inevitable posgresql vs mysql flamewar broke out. It is hysterical to me to read a flame, then read six totally unrelated comments, then read the response.

I'm trying to think of a funny hot grits reference, but if a million slashdotters haven't been able to do it in 16M+ comments, I doubt that I can do it in just one.
posted by SteveTheRed at 6:00 PM on November 9, 2006

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2000/01/31
posted by neuron at 6:54 PM on November 9, 2006

blacklite : That's how amazon is run. Well, they might use postgresql, but, you know, same basic thing. That's how a ton of major high-traffic sites are run. What would you suggest instead?

Oracle or DB2. But I'm kinda biased, since I'm an Oracle and DB2 DBA :)
posted by kaemaril at 8:17 PM on November 9, 2006

There's no way anything written in Prolog is that verbose. No way.

Is that veiled request to inspect my code? Not on the first date.

Not at all. In fact, I'm big-endian.

Well, I can see that baby got back, but you better not be gettin' all arbitrary precision and slip into floating point on my ass later when we start exchanging words, y'know what I mean? A stack overflow really isn't my idea of a good time.

Wow, I'm clearly not nerdy enough for this thread.

I can't believe I haven't had my ass kicked and my lunch money taken away from me for dropping a pun using the word "byte".
posted by loquacious at 9:06 PM on November 9, 2006

[kicks loquacious's ass, takes his lunch money.]

Now the cycle is complete.

[gets arrested for having committed an illegal operation.]
posted by clevershark at 9:16 PM on November 9, 2006

This is the way the web 1.0 ends NOT with a comment but a integer.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 11:01 PM on November 9, 2006 [1 favorite]

Unfortunately, like 5 years ago we changed our primary keys...

Why did they change them? Because 5 years ago they moved from PostgreSQL to MySQL. Oops.
posted by public at 12:50 AM on November 10, 2006

I can't believe I haven't had my ass kicked and my lunch money taken away from me for dropping a pun using the word "byte".

That joke bit.
posted by sonofsamiam at 6:33 AM on November 10, 2006

gsteff: I have a really hard time imagining that amazon uses perl. I assume they use old fashioned cgi or some java solution. I'd guess that a site like slashdot, if they could do it over, would use php or some java-based solution from the apache jakarta brand.

Well, they do, in fact, use Perl.

I'm not sure what you mean by "old fashioned cgi", but any interpretation I can think of certainly can't deal with the amount of traffic they get. BBC's websites are also done with Perl, as is IMDB (as mentioned upthread.) Java stuff is nice, but very-high-traffic sites that have been around for a few years generally aren't written with it, and there have been a ton of things worked on over the years to milk every drop of performance out of the old standard (my|postgre)SQL/Perl/Apache/Linux mix.

I can't really figure out what you mean by the rest of your comment, but, well: Perl can be used to make very impressive things.
posted by blacklite at 8:57 PM on November 10, 2006