Thirty Short Poems About My Favorite Black Metal Band

December 7, 2006 8:01 AM

Thirty Short Poems About My Favorite Black Metal Band

by John Darnielle of The Mountain Goats, author of Last Plane to Jakarta.
Some selections, in no particular order- the critically necessary discussion of Mayhem, the love story, the fans. He's only up to sixteen so far, but like an evil advent calendar, there will be more entries as the month progresses.
(and no, I won't spoil the name of the band- you'll find out)
posted by bobot (39 comments total)

fabulous.

even better if you've met this guy in person or seen him on stage and you can imagine his delivery. listening to mountain goats albums doesn't even begin to hint at how weird the band is live, and i mean that in the best way possible.

PARISH IN THE FLAMES
posted by radiosig at 8:18 AM on December 7, 2006

I'd like to dedicate this verse to Joel
whose style I'm biting like a dinner roll
he also has a one-man band, you knowll
actually, he's had three

hahahahahahahahahaha well, that's one way to roll with...any other word.
posted by radiosig at 8:21 AM on December 7, 2006

Yes. This is really great. I'd love it if he did an album of these.
posted by OmieWise at 8:22 AM on December 7, 2006

Satan's Fingers? The Killers? The Hospital Bombers?
posted by skullbee at 8:44 AM on December 7, 2006

Honestly, I still think my favorite bit of lines line so far has been:
I didn't know you was a one-man band
I didn't know you was a one-man band
I didn't know you was a one-man band
I found out on the in-ter-net
posted by redsparkler at 9:06 AM on December 7, 2006

This is wonderful.

My favorite poem by Darnielle is from an interview he did entirely in haiku. About the song "Magpie":

Q. Preparing yourself
for an ominous ending
What is the magpie?

A. Only a traitor
undresses his metaphors
As if they were whores
posted by eunoia at 9:12 AM on December 7, 2006

Thanks for posting this. I love John Darnielle. And I agree, radiosig, having seen the MG now 6 times, I could see them again and again and again and it wouldn't get old. Darnielle is just the nicest dude to talk to as well - a genuinely good guy. Hail satan.
posted by tiger yang at 9:16 AM on December 7, 2006

John Darnielle is god. And the best ever black metal poet in Chino.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 9:20 AM on December 7, 2006

Nothing stirs the heart of a warrior poet like thee BLACK METAL.
posted by Skygazer at 9:42 AM on December 7, 2006

Slight derail: Back in 1994 I was thinking about starting my own fanzine. As "Zopilote Machine" was an obsession at the time (still is) I humbly wrote to John and asked him to jot down a short list of albums that had influenced him; I wanted desperately to know the back story to such a magnificent record. A few weeks later his reply arrived in my letter box, five hand written pages, in red ink. I was amazed and eternally grateful and I realized that now I had no choice, I had to finish the fanzine. Fast forward two or three months and I'm photo copying it, and today I am an editor at Sweden's leading music magazine.

But my current line of work is not the main point, that those pieces of paper opened up a whole new universe is. John raved about Gun Club's "Fire of Love" - I bought it and loved it. He pointed me in Diamanda Galas' direction. That I own a fair amout of Stockholm Monsters' LPs is his doing. And so on, and so on. He even made me appreciate "All That She Wants", and believe you me, if you were swedish lo-fi nerd back in 1994 and you professed a liking for Ace Of Base, you were up for some serious ribbing. But it was worth it.

So, what I wanted to say is that I'm a better man for John Darnielle. And for that I can never thank him enough.

PS. The name of the fanzine? The Sound of Suburbia. :) DS.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 9:58 AM on December 7, 2006 [7 favorites]

The one man band he's talking about is Drastus. You can hear the music he's writing about here, under "Drastus".
posted by Pastabagel at 10:04 AM on December 7, 2006

"Fire of Love" is one of the best records I've ever heard.
posted by Skygazer at 10:06 AM on December 7, 2006

And on further reading, this John Darnielle guy strikes me as the Andy Kaufman of music.
posted by Pastabagel at 10:08 AM on December 7, 2006

HAIL SATAN!!
posted by gwint at 10:11 AM on December 7, 2006

Some people think of their obsessive tendencies
and feel shame, or guilt, or embarrassment.
They talk about wasted hours they won't be able to get back,
and make jokes about how they'll look back on their hobbies with regret
when they are lying on their deathbeds.
I hope that the priest who delivers my eulogy
dwells for a ridiculously long time
on how, when I'd misplaced my [RAD ESOTERIC BAND] albums,
which tended to happen a lot because I was forgetful,
I often spent whole mornings trying to find them
and took great pleasure in having tracked them down.

posted by freebird at 10:12 AM on December 7, 2006 [3 favorites]

Well, so much for letting the reader discover things on their own terms, pastabagel.
posted by bobot at 10:16 AM on December 7, 2006

You can hear the music he's writing about here

By the pustulent glory of every demon whore I have bedded in ecstatic celebration of Hell's Dominion: Windows Media is SO NOT METAL!

Kids these days.

Oh and if you like wierd artsy one man metal (and who doesn't?) you should check out Militant Children's Hour.
posted by freebird at 10:18 AM on December 7, 2006 [1 favorite]

I flog his songs daily with my guitar and "voice". Ah The Mountain Goats and The Extra Glenns are two great music makers.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 10:34 AM on December 7, 2006

Windows Media is SO NOT METAL!

Is it however, BRUTAL, so it shall stand.
posted by drezdn at 10:43 AM on December 7, 2006

Excellent point. And it does howl and moan with the throaty sulphuric breath of HELL and MEANINGLESS PAIN so I guess that counts for something.
posted by freebird at 10:51 AM on December 7, 2006

Wow. I really, really like Drastus. And I didn't think I liked metal. At all.
posted by LeeJay at 11:22 AM on December 7, 2006

Pastalbagel... hmmm... maybe you're on to something there. Darnielle is to metal as Kaufmann was to wrestling... however with Darnielle, I never get the impression that he's trying to pull the wool over you eyes and make you feel like you've been had (which is fun in its own way but not what's going on here).
posted by christopher.taylor at 11:29 AM on December 7, 2006

This thread has too much Darnielle (doesn't rock) and not enough Black Metal (does rock). So let's get back to what it's all about:

Drastus, of whom I've never heard. The three records Darnielle speaks of must apparently be From the Womb of the Ferocious, a split EP from 2005, the 2005 full-length Roars From the Old Serpent's Paradise, and Taphos, a 2006 EP, since those seem to be Drastus' only works so far. From the samples on the label web site, this stuff is pretty great; a little derivative, in the way that most Black Metal is. It would mean more to me if it wasn't the work of a one-man band-- Drastus should really get himself some other guys-- since it's Black Metal, for Satan's sake, and it's all about the ambience. I'm no huge fan of Black Metal -- eschewing commercialism only goes so far, and the quality of lots of black metal bands is a bit lacking. Also, Venom is silly and lame. But I think I'll be investing in that full-length; it sounds fairly beautiful, with some nice jarring, grinding moments.
posted by koeselitz at 11:58 AM on December 7, 2006

Darnielle does so rock.
posted by snofoam at 12:02 PM on December 7, 2006 [1 favorite]

Arg. Borked link here.

And some more poetry, this time from Drastus:

Aeon's Corpse

I've turned my glance away
From this blinding acrid sun
To stand under the wing
Of a starfull sky
Walk in the shadow,
Dancing the light,
I flout the wall sealed
By the guilt of men
Decaying clay...
Walk in the shadow,
Running the light.
I faced deaths as seasons,
And cast my steps
To this dungeon of unreason,
Erect from beyond all horizons,
Paint by lies of a guilty innocence.
No awe'll baptised my walk
To this murder beyond life
posted by koeselitz at 12:04 PM on December 7, 2006

"Is it however, BRUTAL, so it shall stand."

I knew that somehow Dethklok would show up in this thread sooner or later.

"Also, Venom is silly and lame."

But fun. Back in the early '80s Venom and Mercyful Fate were the bands you scared your parents with (well, they were for me anyway).
posted by MikeMc at 12:27 PM on December 7, 2006

Dammit, bobot, I was going to make this my first FPP!!
posted by escabeche at 12:39 PM on December 7, 2006

"...and today I am an editor at Sweden's leading music magazine."

And here I thought that honor went to Sweden Rock magazine!

Just kidding.
posted by MikeMc at 1:03 PM on December 7, 2006

Hail Satan...tonight!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:56 PM on December 7, 2006

I really liked two
posted by pantsrobot at 3:02 PM on December 7, 2006

Pastabagel writes "And on further reading, this John Darnielle guy strikes me as the Andy Kaufman of music."

I've read a lot of his writing, and I'm pretty sure that his love of metal (especially the harder, more Nordic forms) is completely sincere. The way he (used to) holler and assault his guitar, it's easy to believe.

I considered posting a link to LPTJ on MeFi when they did their site redesign awhile back. Darnielle is one of my favorite music writers, period, completely independant of his Mountain Goats work. He writes with an eloquent sincerity (he manages to be sincere without coming off as naive or humourless) and he has a great breadth of interest, from electrofolk to death metal to R&B. Great stuff.
posted by mr_roboto at 4:01 PM on December 7, 2006

I am very fond of the Mountain Goats/Darnielle.

I am also fond of Dethklok, which seems be hitting its stride with the last few episodes.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:08 PM on December 7, 2006

Yes. This is really great. I'd love it if he did an album of these.

It would have to be better than his latest release. ZING!

I too love John Darnielle (I even have a Darnielle/Vanderslice '04 shirt that I wear regularly), and I've seen him, oh, 8-9 times, but man, what the fuck happened to his albums?

Does anybody really like anything after the Coroner's Gambit? Or do we all just listen to Sweden, Zopilote, and Nothing for Juice (and Beautiful Rat Sunset and Nine Black Poppies...) over and over again?

I don't want him to do the same thing forever, but man, again, that last album just puts me to sleep. I thought the Sunset Tree, Tallahassee, and WASBH were boring, but Get Lonely tops it so far.

Is it just me? (Sorry for any derail. Darnielle is a fantastic writer and LPTJ is a great site.)
posted by mrgrimm at 7:02 PM on December 7, 2006

Well, I say Tallahassee is the best Mountain Goats album I own. Of course, that's out of a field of one, but still...

(Plus, Tallahassee is--or once was, at least--home to Yngvie Jfucking Malmsteen. Metal!)
posted by arto at 7:34 PM on December 7, 2006

I have a hard time understanding hating on The Sunset Tree or We Shall All Be Healed. I'm a Goats fan since way back when and those two records totally stand up to anything on Zopilote Machine. But then, I've never cared for Sweden, the record or the flag, so maybe both of us are just wondering what crack the other is smoking.
posted by bobot at 7:48 PM on December 7, 2006

Yngvie Jfucking Malmsteen

Holy crap - I saw a random guy do an song called that in a bar a few years ago...was that this Darnielle guy or is that a reference to something else?!
posted by freebird at 8:05 PM on December 7, 2006

mrgrimm, for what it's worth, I listen most to Zopilote Machine, Sweden, All Hail West Texas, We Shall All Be Healed, and Tallahassee. So I guess I have two favorite "Mountain Goats periods."
posted by escabeche at 8:32 PM on December 7, 2006

I do tend to like the earlier stuff better--it's more direct and emotional. I can understand the move to more production, and I really like Tallahassee a lot, but as the songs become more autobiographical they become less true, in a paradoxical way, for me. I did go back and listen to Sunset Tree a bunch before seeing him a couple of months ago, and it was better than I remembered it being. Then my gf got me the acoustic demos from that album for my birthday, and they really are very good.

But yeah, All Hail, Fullforce, Sweden...those are the albums for me. Which, actually, brings up a point I meant to make, which is that it isn't just the content of the albums, but also the time when I've listened to them. I didn't have a copy of ZM for the longest time, and while I'm sure it fits well with the albums I like best, I listen to it (now that I've got it) much more as I listen to the newer few...as a lesser version of the MG. I think, much as I still love them, the days when a new MG album becomes a soundtrack for my soul may be over.
posted by OmieWise at 5:18 AM on December 8, 2006

I have been reading these everyday and I hope he keeps doing them forever. As for people who do not like Get Lonely, just wait until you have suffered some crushing break-up and then try it again. JD pretty much addrssed this issue when I saw him a while back and its very true. Fortunatly (?)I happen to be very lonely and its really hit the spot for me.
posted by modavis at 10:28 AM on December 8, 2006