Pancakes and sausage...it's fun on a stick!

January 13, 2007 11:53 PM

Pancakes and sausage...it's fun on a stick! As seen on tv. Parents admit, "I do spoil [my son] and let him have something which others may disapprove of." Serving size: 1 piece. A nutritional part of these school menus.
posted by bomeezy (53 comments total)

Hmmm. I eat pancakes for breakfast, usually with sausage. I like syrup on my sausage. What's the problem?

(MetaFilter: I like syrup on my sausage)
posted by IronLizard at 12:18 AM on January 14, 2007

one serving is 220 calories. it's obviously not the healthiest thing you could feed your kid (half the calories are from fat) but you could do a lot worse.
posted by subclub at 12:20 AM on January 14, 2007

i actually beer-batter these things and deep fry them in animal fat before feeding three of them to my son.
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 12:27 AM on January 14, 2007 [3 favorites]

When my brothers and I were of the ages where we got breakfast in any form crammed down our throats by busy parents, these were often featured entrees on the menu. One item that sturck our fancy were the Swanson's Great Starts frozen tv-breakfast (if you will. Yes, you will.). Of that subspecies of pseudo-breakfasts, one of our favorites was the Pancakes and Sausage (yes, I was going somewhere with this). Please believe that one our favorite rituals (hang on) was to, yes, wrap those sausages with the pancakes. I know, right?

From the press kit:
Swanson's Great Starts Breakfasts are classic breakfast meals that satisfy adu;ts' morning appetites in under three minutes

Sure, but that's not enough time to eat the billion-degree hot Biscuit with the still ice-cold bacon disc in the biscuit sandwich 'kit'. I know, it's a miracle, combining hot and cold like that.

With hearty and satisfying flavors like scrambled eggs, bacon, and home fried potatoes, now every morning can get off to a great start.

Flavors? Yes. Actual Scrambled Eggs? Hell no. Satisfying? Even more no.

Consume consume consume.
posted by ninjew at 12:27 AM on January 14, 2007

I had these all the time when I was in high school—and I graduated 6 years ago. Hardly new, but very delicious.

Let me know when they've got Bacon and Pancakes On A Stick!
posted by premiumpolar at 12:45 AM on January 14, 2007

Am I the only one who read the the ad on the lower left as "Breakfast Bowels" from the first link?
posted by YoBananaBoy at 1:10 AM on January 14, 2007

"I do spoil [my son] and let him have something which others may disapprove of."

I'll say:

"YOU FAT COW, YOUR FAT LITTLE BUTTERBALL OF A SON WILL HAVE A HEART ATTACK BY THE AGE OF 12, GOOD LUCK!"

Poor nutrition is the new black in today's USA.

(Which doesn't mean that it's fashionable in this context, but that it'll have the local Klavern burning crosses on your lawn in the wink of an eye.)
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:34 AM on January 14, 2007

Listen, folks, we're not getting at the most important part of this FPP, which is that JIMMY DEAN IS SELLING SAUSAGES WRAPPED IN CHOCOLATE-CHIP PANCAKES.

This is a fucking travesty.
posted by rossination at 1:54 AM on January 14, 2007

Some freezer aisle doors should be locked: Swanson's Hungry-Man All Day Breakfast (NSFH). Flip it over and, in hushed tones, explain the Nutritional Chart to your kids.

Just one of these could fill a 2-hour MacGyver episode.
posted by hal9k at 2:00 AM on January 14, 2007 [3 favorites]

Did somebody mention pancakes?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 2:11 AM on January 14, 2007

explain the Nutritional Chart to your kids.

231% of recommended daily cholesterol intake. Holy crap.
posted by greycap at 2:39 AM on January 14, 2007

From hal9k's link:

Unfortunately, Swanson's supplying you with enough 'energy' to get through a week, and even if the only other thing you ate after this breakfast was oxygen, there's still a relatively high chance that your ass will grow hands and tie your intestines in knots to prevent this shit from ever passing through.

Can't....Stop.....Laughing....
posted by IronLizard at 4:19 AM on January 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

They've sold these things for a long time. To anyone who actually, you know, goes to a grocery store, it's not really that funny.

Sausages and pancakes are good things.
posted by zerolives at 4:21 AM on January 14, 2007

As a Canadian, I'm awed. And jealous. If I had access to these things I'd be overweight. Imagine the fatal combination of pancake and sausage on a stick and cheap maple syrup....
posted by mek at 5:41 AM on January 14, 2007

I understand the pancakes and sausages, but why would anyone eat a stick?
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 5:57 AM on January 14, 2007 [3 favorites]

kingfisher's reference: "Pancakes and Sausage on a Stick, Chocolate Chip flavored"

Answer: Fiber? 1g 4%
posted by hal9k at 6:00 AM on January 14, 2007

Listen, folks, we're not getting at the most important part of this FPP, which is that JIMMY DEAN IS SELLING SAUSAGES WRAPPED IN CHOCOLATE-CHIP PANCAKES.

This is a fucking travesty.
posted by rossination

They are not only a travesty, but also deeeelish!!
posted by The Deej at 6:11 AM on January 14, 2007

Swanson's Hungry-Man All Day Breakfast

This X-Entertainment piece was immediately what sprang to mind as well.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:46 AM on January 14, 2007

Peter Brady still awaits porkchops and applesauce on a stick.
posted by The Deej at 7:04 AM on January 14, 2007

I've had these. They're pretty good. Kind of like a breakfast corn dog. And yeah, I know they're not good for me, health nazis. I'll eat them anyway. Life's too short and I'll outlive you all just for spite, anyway.
posted by jonmc at 7:05 AM on January 14, 2007

People are too stupid to keep themselves from eating food that's bad for them. The only solution is to ban everything but shredded wheat cereal and tofu.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 7:10 AM on January 14, 2007

This is so quintessentially American.
posted by Cyrano at 7:20 AM on January 14, 2007

Finally more food on a stick. I thought all hope had been lost. In a recent poll Pigs in a blanket (on a stick) did not fare well. Not well at all.

Corndogs
22%
Banana-on-a-stick
8%
Kabobs
11%
Popsicles
11%
Those weird chicken things on sticks at that Chinese food buffet
17%
posted by Gungho at 7:23 AM on January 14, 2007

What about Cup O' Pizza?
posted by The Deej at 7:25 AM on January 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

Oh, my God! We have these at my school. They're are called Flapsticks here. Many people are wild about them, but I'm not too big on them. But there are many that LOVE the suckers. It's usually a blueberry pancake type though.

Remember that word, ladies and gentlemen: flapsticks!
posted by Lord Chancellor at 7:41 AM on January 14, 2007

Remember that word, ladies and gentlemen: flapsticks!

Oh, I don't think I've ever wanted to be The Guy In Charge of Bad Porn Movie Puns more than I do right now.
posted by Cyrano at 8:02 AM on January 14, 2007

... Cup O' Pizza ...

This pretty much describes the first "calzone" I ever had. It was at a state fair in 1978 or so. It was basically a pizza-dough pocket half-filled with ricotta and topped off with scalding hot marinara.

Kind of awful. Turned me off calzones for years. Until I actually, you know, had one.
posted by lodurr at 8:12 AM on January 14, 2007

I could feel my arteries clogging just reading this thread.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 8:15 AM on January 14, 2007

1) Heat in microwave for 2 minutes.
2) Serve and enjoy.

Caution: Contents will be hot. Do NOT dispose of empty stick. Keep stick close by (within arm's reach) for approx. one to two days.
posted by hal9k at 8:37 AM on January 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

That's nothing. At our local fair there was a guy selling FRIED SALT. As in lump of salt, fried. On a stick.

I don't think he did good business, but...why did he think he might?
posted by emjaybee at 8:44 AM on January 14, 2007

I mean, goldfish lamp wallpaper skeleton in my Bavarian Star or what? Flowers mirror computer Smurfs every time Moses flies playing cards in or around Paris. Oh, now to make a paragraph-ending sentence that makes the rest appear like it was consequential. That bacon was really greasy!

Goldfish lamp wallpaper skeleton in your Bavarian Star, indeed.
posted by loquacious at 8:50 AM on January 14, 2007

"Quintessentially American"? Hardly. Hell, I remember when I used to walk by dawn's light down the craggy path to the local yoghurt maker's hut - this was in the tiny village of Gurong Phuba, in northeastern Tibet - and sit crosslegged with the tribal leaders as they passed the tsampa, the yak tongue and the flapsticks (with sweet yak butter, of course) along with the communal tankard of chang ....
posted by melixxa600 at 8:51 AM on January 14, 2007 [3 favorites]

This is the kind of stuff that could drive someone into becoming a victim. A victim of deliciousness that is.
posted by timelord at 10:22 AM on January 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

"I've had these. "

posted by jonmc

Most predictable comment EVAR.

Anyway, I wonder if this guy has a new character coming out.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:28 AM on January 14, 2007

...FRIED SALT...

That... is.. just... HUH?!??!! I would accuse you of making this up just to have fun, but I really don't think it's something anyone would make up, unless they were crazy enough to sell it.

Just wow.
posted by The Deej at 10:38 AM on January 14, 2007

I am hoping the new character will be "Meester Crash Daveeece... On a Steeeeeeeck."
posted by The Deej at 10:41 AM on January 14, 2007

FRIED SALT

I'm not going to lie.
My mouth watered upon reading that.

I put salt on everything.
I put salt on my salt.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 10:57 AM on January 14, 2007

Dang. Fat people really ARE stupid.
posted by tkchrist at 11:18 AM on January 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

I put salt on everything.
I put salt on my salt.
posted by CitrusFreak12

I read that as "I put salt on my ass" and nearly ruined a keyboard here!
posted by Talanvor at 11:54 AM on January 14, 2007

Reminds me of one of my many bizarre "on a stick" discoveries.
posted by squalor at 11:56 AM on January 14, 2007

Is that thing real, squalor? I'm stunned.

Where... but how do you... who would... why did... gah!
posted by roll truck roll at 12:22 PM on January 14, 2007

That's kinda where I went with that, rtr.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:22 PM on January 14, 2007

bluuuuurgh, I think I'm going to be sick. Why can't these kids eat a healthy and attractive breakfast, like huevos rancheros or chorizo and eggs or something? They should all move to New Mexico so we can feed 'em right.
posted by vorfeed at 12:42 PM on January 14, 2007

rossination - JIMMY DEAN IS SELLING SAUSAGES WRAPPED IN CHOCOLATE-CHIP PANCAKES.

Isn't that what McDonald's griddle breakfast sandwiches are? A sausage patty between two pancakes with solidified syrup chunks baked into them?

Fried salt? I panfry salt with white pepper as a dip for soy chicken/drunk chicken. Panfrying makes it tastier, for some (I can't explain with chemistry) reason. On a stick, though, that I've got to try!
posted by porpoise at 2:37 PM on January 14, 2007

Ol' Euell Gibbons (spelling?) used to eat ONLY the stick.
posted by Dizzy at 3:00 PM on January 14, 2007

porpoise writes "Isn't that what McDonald's griddle breakfast sandwiches are? A sausage patty between two pancakes with solidified syrup chunks baked into them?"

And goddamn are they good. I seriously wish I'd never tried that crack.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 3:15 PM on January 14, 2007

squalor, am I mistaken in believing that was a... pasta push pop? Corndogs had a purpose - loggers can't cook. But this...

Some marketing mogul actually said, "y'know, kids on the go today, they need a way to mechanically push lowest-bidder macaroni down their gullets - let's fill that need, people." That's quietly horrifying.
posted by FormlessOne at 6:27 PM on January 14, 2007

There was a review of these at McSweeney's:

Jimmy Dean Flapsticks

Submitted by Peggy DeMouthe

I love shopping at the Grocery Outlet because it's different every visit. One Tuesday evening Aisle 3 might be stocked with dishpans and animal crackers; the following Saturday it will be all malt liquor and underpants. The Grocery Outlet is where all the foods nearing their "sell by" date are sent, where holiday candy from last season's holiday goes on sale, and where strange regional brands drift ashore.

It's also where test-market products go, after the test. Thus, last March, I was looking around the frozen-food aisle for Christmas treats. Between the French-Toast Fingers and the Holiday Party Puffs, there was an irresistible package: Jimmy Dean's Flapsticks—"Sausage and Pancakes on a Stick!"

Out of the package, the Flapstick looks exactly like a corndog. Same sturdy stick, same smooth brown outer coating. One's brain expects: crunchy! corny! hot dog! However, it's really a link of sausage enrobed in pancake batter, so the actual experience is: doughy! weird! ow! because the fatty sausage on the inside heats up faster and hotter than the dough on the outside. One is supposed to dip the Flapstick into maple syrup, and this facilitates the pancake's abandonment of any tenuous hold it had on the sausage. One ends up with a sausage on a stick and a pancake in the lap.

posted by Upton O'Good at 9:38 PM on January 14, 2007

Actually, the most unhealthy thing I ever saw was a deep fried Mars bar. And before you talk about how American it was, the only place I found it was Scotland.

And it was delicious.
posted by Lord Chancellor at 12:12 AM on January 15, 2007

the most unhealthy thing I ever saw was a deep fried Mars bar. And before you talk about how American it was, the only place I found it was Scotland.

I never heard of that in the US, but on a recent visit to Brisbane, Australia, I passed a little food shop that was serving that very item. It's somehow comforting to be reminded on occasion that the US doesn't have an absolute monopoly on disgusting junk food habits! (I'll have to take your word for it that it was delicious...)
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:30 AM on January 15, 2007

In a similar vein, I've also seen deep-fried pizza. I even saw someone buy one. They then delicately salted it before wrapping it and leaving.

And they say the british can't cook.
posted by ArkhanJG at 5:01 AM on January 15, 2007

Deep-fried twinkies are surprisingly delicious and more surprisingly, not terribly disgusting at all.

Deep-fried pickles on the other hand.... those don't work out so well.
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 8:23 AM on January 15, 2007

Oh, I don't know. You used to be able to get deep-fried dill chips at Sonic restaurants in the midwest and south. Those were pretty good, as I recall.
posted by lodurr at 11:21 AM on January 15, 2007