The End Of The World Is Coming. No, Really. It Is.

February 3, 2007 8:39 PM

The end of the world has been foretold so many times we have come to dismiss it. But it's fun to think of how it will all happen.
posted by RayOrama (27 comments total)

I feel fine...
posted by GavinR at 8:55 PM on February 3, 2007

Weeping, gnashing of teeth, rending of garments, blood in the streets, etc.

They forgot cats and dogs living together!
posted by amyms at 9:05 PM on February 3, 2007

The transcendental Object at the end of History
"After all, tomorrow is the next day of the End of the World."
posted by hortense at 9:14 PM on February 3, 2007

I for one am ready to burn.
Bring it on already.

I'm sick of the waiting, tired from all the sodomizing, killing of the saints, kicking puppies and voting democrat.
Surely I must be damned. (I hate housecats too, if that helps.)

nothing. . . this will never end.
posted by isopraxis at 9:19 PM on February 3, 2007

It's pretty silly to present one take on Revelation as the Christian view. The sort of post-trib pre-mill dispensationalist approach briefly reviewed there is popular now, but is a recent understanding (last 150-200 years). The common (American) view of the early 1800's was a triumphalistic post-millenialism in which everything got better and better and better until the world was all set for Christ to come back. The devastations of the US Civil War and the World Wars ended that strain of hopeful theology. Other approaches, such as full preterism, deny that Revelation has anything to do with the end of the world at all.

Anyway, not to derail, but I know the Christian section is pretty pointless, and I expect that adherents of other faiths would find this too facile as well.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 9:26 PM on February 3, 2007

Ancient Meteorite Wiped Out Life. If a meteor hits the Earth, another version.
posted by nickyskye at 9:29 PM on February 3, 2007

I see nothing about zombies....
posted by Smedleyman at 9:35 PM on February 3, 2007

And you though global warming was bad. (That video is Global Warming Extreme Edition)
posted by IronLizard at 9:36 PM on February 3, 2007

A Brief History of the Apocalypse
http://www.abhota.info/end1.htm

According to Isaac Asimov's Book of Facts (1979), an Assyrian clay tablet dating to approximately 2800 BC was unearthed bearing the words "Our earth is degenerate in these latter days. There are signs that the world is speedily coming to an end. Bribery and corruption are common."
posted by martinrebas at 9:41 PM on February 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

In my end of the world prophesy, we are all pelted into submission by extra terrestrial boobs, followed by a blizzard of hot wings, bleu cheese and celery and then, the end comes with 40 days and 40 nights of beer falling from the sky.

I like that some of the Branch Davidians in Waco stayed on after the prophecy was proved false by the world not ending on April 22, 1959, which was good because I wouldn't be born for another ten years.
posted by fenriq at 9:41 PM on February 3, 2007

RAYORAMA LINKS NEATORAMA FILMORAMA AT ELEVORAMA
posted by quonsar at 9:47 PM on February 3, 2007

Prophesy:

The end of the world will be at our own hands. Choked by pollution, wracked with war, science fails to solve the problems that are espoused by irresponsible industrial practices, and a reliance on nonrenewable resources. As space becomes scarcer, as resources become scarcer, squabbling amongst the nations ensues and leads to not a World War with clearly demarcated ideals and motives, but a general, self interested general Worldwide Conflict. There is not rally against evil because every nation is responsible for some atrocity; the free spread of information finally makes this apparent.

Nuclear war does not abound. Biological warfare proliferates. Spending on health care plummets in developed nations.

Nobody notices when a super strain of birdflu breaks out in Asia. They are occupied with killing each other with guns.


Humanity is wiped out.
posted by Mister Cheese at 10:06 PM on February 3, 2007

The end of the world doesn't concern me. It's the end of good customer service that's really sticking in my craw.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:11 PM on February 3, 2007

Yeah, I died a little with the end of really personalized craw-clearing services too.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:23 PM on February 3, 2007

Whatever happens there will probably be a youtube video.
posted by hojoki at 10:24 PM on February 3, 2007

Anyway, not to derail, but I know the Christian section is pretty pointless, and I expect that adherents of other faiths would find this too facile as well.

I do agree that trying to predict the end of the world is pointless, regardless of the faith, but I nevertheless enjoy the hyperbole of it all.

Humanity is wiped out.

That I have to disagree on. Humanity isn't wiped out. Not yet. I for one have no intention of going quietly.
posted by RayOrama at 10:30 PM on February 3, 2007

I died a little just reading the comments on the linked article.
posted by maxwelton at 10:43 PM on February 3, 2007

I heard we were going to be eaten by a giant mutant star goat. Or something.
posted by davelog at 10:43 PM on February 3, 2007

Self-link-warning: I haven't updated this in months, but it still gets almost more traffic than most of my active sites...
ARMAGEDDON OR NOT?
posted by wendell at 11:16 PM on February 3, 2007

isopraxis : (I hate housecats too, if that helps.)

List of people to kill when the end comes:

Astro Zombie : already dead. May not be dangerous. (continue to monitor)

isopraxis : doesn't like cats. Might fit into wood-chipper. Check.
posted by quin at 11:54 PM on February 3, 2007

Interesting that they don't mention Jehovah's Witnesses among those that falsely predicted the Apocalypse. They've been wrong at least twice now.
posted by psmealey at 4:58 AM on February 4, 2007

..and who remembers the Y2K bug?
posted by D J Robertstein at 8:08 AM on February 4, 2007

"But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. " -- Jesus talking to his disciples about the end of the world.. ( Mark 13/32 )

So, yeah, people and religions try to guess and predict .. but its pretty simple -- "only God knows" :)
posted by jason9009 at 11:40 AM on February 4, 2007

WACO: The Rules of Engagement [Google Video part 1 and 2]: for some groups, the Apocalypse — however they may choose to believe it — is fulfilled all too soon. The problem for those inside the group is knowing who will start the fire, and when. The problem for those outside the group is knowing enough to not strike the match.
posted by cenoxo at 3:13 PM on February 4, 2007

Bob said
Earth RIP
July 5th 1998

It did happen. We're just all too gauche to lie down and accept it.
posted by ZachsMind at 3:23 PM on February 4, 2007

"But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. " -- Jesus talking to his disciples about the end of the world.. ( Mark 13/32 )

So, yeah, people and religions try to guess and predict .. but its pretty simple -- "only God knows" :)

I've always read that verse as meaning that the end will come only at the moment when every single human, animal, and intelligent computer on the planet is in agreement that the world cannot happen at that moment.

'Cause we'll certainly need to be punished for our hubris.
posted by thecaddy at 8:59 PM on February 4, 2007

What Happened Instead: The world went on, and Reagan got elected president, which was a boon for conservatism and also for jelly beans, Reagan’s favorite snack.

Mmm. Jelly beans. I wonder what an apocalypse flavored jelly bean would taste like?
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:38 PM on February 4, 2007