Tampires are out to suck your blood....

February 27, 2008 3:58 PM

Tampires - The tampons that want to suck your blood.
posted by jonathanstrange (24 comments total)

I personally think the spokestampon should have been Tampira, not Tampy.
posted by headspace at 4:02 PM on February 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

Is this just the day to find something made up about blood and then post it to the blue?
posted by solipsophistocracy at 4:06 PM on February 27, 2008

Ok, my apologies for the snark. That was hilarious.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 4:07 PM on February 27, 2008

"Do not expose tampons to sunlight or wear them in church."

I busted a gut upon hearing that bit of advice.
posted by hojoki at 4:11 PM on February 27, 2008

I really like poor puns and period jokes. But - if you'll excuse the pun - this sucks.

The tag under the video says:

The entire idea is so genius and the headline writers/horror enthusiasts in us can't believe we never thought of the pun before.

Well, I actually suspect it has occurred to people before. They've just chosen not to share because they want others to find them witty and interesting.
posted by rhymer at 4:16 PM on February 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'm trying to work up a gentle riposte that includes garlic and silver bullets, but I got nothing.
Would you please be so kind as to favorite this remark anyway?
posted by Dizzy at 4:17 PM on February 27, 2008 [2 favorites]

Yeah, this sucked.

Note, you can take this as a standard snark, or a clever pun; your choice.
posted by mrnutty at 4:20 PM on February 27, 2008

flowchart (hurr) for postworthiness:


  _____________
 /             \ 
/  is it on the \ ___ (YES)__ 
\ gawker network/            |
 \             /             |
  -------------              |
        |                    |
      (NO)                   |
        |                    |
   _____________             |
   |            |            |
   |    post    |            |
   |            |            |
   --------------            |
        |                    |
        |                    |
        +____________________/
        |
        |
   /____________\
   |            |
   |    end     |
   |            |
   \------------/

posted by boo_radley at 4:24 PM on February 27, 2008 [4 favorites]

Black Hole Tampons... so absorbent, even light can't escape.
posted by infinitewindow at 4:27 PM on February 27, 2008

lame.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 4:43 PM on February 27, 2008

Flagged as weak.
posted by ursus_comiter at 4:44 PM on February 27, 2008

I would call this a stupid post, but I'm afraid o' tha Femmenazis.
posted by KokuRyu at 4:47 PM on February 27, 2008

Flagged as weak.

Yeah, me too.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 4:47 PM on February 27, 2008

The acting was so bad it reminded me of that weird test-republican-three-comedian-girls thing that floated around for a bit. I had to close it after about 15 seconds.
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:51 PM on February 27, 2008

Tasteless.
posted by misha at 4:52 PM on February 27, 2008

Kinda lame.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 5:14 PM on February 27, 2008

I would call this a stupid post, but I'm afraid o' tha Femmenazis.

Yeah, cuz god knows we menstruating girls just love silly period humor! Ha ha ha! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT!!!????? *calmly sips tea*
posted by miss lynnster at 5:14 PM on February 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

Sorta funny in a juvenile way. The people behind Jezebel seem like the kind of women that still giggle at dildos in their late 20s.
posted by DecemberBoy at 5:21 PM on February 27, 2008

...More like the post that's out to suck, amirite???

(Yeah, okay. I'm gonna go read a book or something.)
posted by kittens for breakfast at 5:21 PM on February 27, 2008

Mr. Norrell would not have approved of this.
posted by cog_nate at 5:25 PM on February 27, 2008 [3 favorites]

As far as period humor goes, this is uneven but much more amusing.
posted by EarBucket at 5:25 PM on February 27, 2008

Mr. Norrell would not have approved of this.

The Ladies of Grace Adieu even less so.
posted by eyeballkid at 5:51 PM on February 27, 2008

good lord...

what has become of metafilter today.....??

The video was not even marginally funny/interesting. Certainly not what we expect here...

Can we all just, sort of, like, grow up......

flagged...
posted by HuronBob at 6:00 PM on February 27, 2008

Blood-suckers in your lady-pipes? Honey, that's a fetus.
posted by DenOfSizer at 6:01 PM on February 27, 2008