Wither Obama?
August 28, 2008 9:15 PM   Subscribe

Do not click. This is fishing for your email address, probably for spam. It's also the first link listed in any search for Barack Obama on google. There is no opt-out link on this page, like there is, in blue letters on a blue background, tucked away in the lower right hand corner of the main page of www.barackobama.com. Compare this to the forthright and accessible, if odious and contemptable, www.johnmccain.com Are Democratic Party webmasters and spinmeisters so ignorant of web browsing habits? Or is there something else going on? It's Midnight on the east coast, and Obama's acceptance speech is nowhere to be found online, despite Gore's speech being almost instantaneously available from any number of news organs. If it show up five minutes from now, that's still hours too late to be credible. Something smells wrong. If this gets deleted, blame me rather than the admins. I'm not the tin-foil hat type, but, well, damn. I listened to Kain, Richardson, Stevie Wonder and Gore before I had to go live life for a few hours, hoping to see/hear an Obama oratory clinic laid down online later... and now, when it is later, there is none to be found online. Oh, wait, there are transcripts, that's almost as good... Forget Denmark, something smells rotten here. Pretty damn scary.
posted by Slap*Happy (145 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: What the barack? -- cortex



 
What?
posted by voltairemodern at 9:18 PM on August 28, 2008


The fuck?
posted by EarBucket at 9:18 PM on August 28, 2008


Dude.
posted by Rangeboy at 9:18 PM on August 28, 2008


uh, what?
posted by ninjew at 9:18 PM on August 28, 2008


last post!
posted by junkbox at 9:19 PM on August 28, 2008


lol
posted by Optimus Chyme at 9:19 PM on August 28, 2008


God, I miss the img tag.
posted by EarBucket at 9:19 PM on August 28, 2008 [3 favorites]


Hmm... I'd RTFL but I think the poster told me not to...
I'm confuzzled
posted by Citizen Premier at 9:19 PM on August 28, 2008


Skip signup, go to the website.
posted by brownpau at 9:19 PM on August 28, 2008


This is my username.
posted by codswallop at 9:20 PM on August 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


If this gets deleted, blame me rather than the admins.

Oh, no worries about that.
posted by ook at 9:20 PM on August 28, 2008 [3 favorites]


Oh temptation. I clicked.
posted by dsword at 9:20 PM on August 28, 2008


This is a great post!

For Astro Zombie 3 to eat.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:20 PM on August 28, 2008


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posted by brownpau at 9:21 PM on August 28, 2008 [30 favorites]


FINALLY SOME TRUTH FOR ONCE
posted by Sticherbeast at 9:21 PM on August 28, 2008


I notice you have included both "rat fuck", "rats", and "fucking" in your tags. That seems redundant.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 9:21 PM on August 28, 2008 [4 favorites]


I do wish more posts used the ratfuck tag, though.
posted by Rangeboy at 9:21 PM on August 28, 2008 [4 favorites]


This will be deleted soon. Which makes these posts like meteor scatter traffic. Cool!
posted by codswallop at 9:22 PM on August 28, 2008


John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.

John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."

Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"

There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons.

"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"

So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.

"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons

"I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.

"No! I must kill the demons" he shouted

The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"

And then John was a zombie.
posted by brownpau at 9:22 PM on August 28, 2008 [25 favorites]


What's all this then?
posted by krinklyfig at 9:22 PM on August 28, 2008


Best. Electionfilter. Evar.
posted by piratebowling at 9:22 PM on August 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
You step out of line, the mods come and take you away
posted by Sailormom at 9:22 PM on August 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


Something smells wrong. If this gets deleted, blame me rather than the admins.

Um. Okay. Have another drink. It's on me.
posted by ericb at 9:23 PM on August 28, 2008


Full transcript here.
posted by brownpau at 9:23 PM on August 28, 2008


My day at work was EXACTLY LIKE THAT.
posted by Artw at 9:24 PM on August 28, 2008


I rear-ended a car this morning.

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
posted by netbros at 9:24 PM on August 28, 2008 [53 favorites]


Soon-to-be-DeletedFilter
posted by djgh at 9:24 PM on August 28, 2008


YES WE CAN! make a decent post.
posted by dsword at 9:24 PM on August 28, 2008


Last.
posted by krinklyfig at 9:24 PM on August 28, 2008


So, yeah. All my credibility out the window on this site. Time to reset, fork over another five dollars, wait a few months until my posting style is forgotten, to begin anew.

But still.

The turtle moves.
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:25 PM on August 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


Damn ...
posted by krinklyfig at 9:25 PM on August 28, 2008


VOTE RON PAUL!
posted by Krrrlson at 9:25 PM on August 28, 2008


To be fair, David Ploufe emails me three or four times a week asking for money.
posted by Artw at 9:25 PM on August 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


John Sidney McCain III's website is also forthrightly accessible at http://www.bullshitexpress.com/
posted by kirkaracha at 9:25 PM on August 28, 2008


GET OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW
posted by 2sheets at 9:25 PM on August 28, 2008


I think I speak for everyone here when I say...
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:25 PM on August 28, 2008


If I get high tonight, blame me, not the admins.
posted by Citizen Premier at 9:25 PM on August 28, 2008


...before I had to go live life for a few hours

read: get drunk, then post to MeFi.
posted by god hates math at 9:25 PM on August 28, 2008


I watched the Obama speech on msnbc over an hour ago.
posted by duvatney at 9:25 PM on August 28, 2008


One thing I took away from that fateful meeting: I simply do not like beets.
posted by krinklyfig at 9:26 PM on August 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm scared. Can someone please hold me?
posted by cerulgalactus at 9:26 PM on August 28, 2008


inb4 obama conspiracy disappears this poast
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 9:26 PM on August 28, 2008


Do you mean "whither Obama"? Or is his lack of Web acumen actually causing him to dry up like a raisin in the sun?
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:26 PM on August 28, 2008 [3 favorites]


32 comments in 7 minutes, apparently people want to talk about this as much as I do.
posted by clearly at 9:26 PM on August 28, 2008


We can't stop here, this is bat country.
posted by Mr_Zero at 9:26 PM on August 28, 2008 [6 favorites]


something about "go live life for a few hours"...
posted by minkll at 9:26 PM on August 28, 2008


So, what's the 'scary' bit?
posted by pompomtom at 9:27 PM on August 28, 2008


32 comments in 7 minutes, apparently people want to talk about this as much as I do.

clearly we do!
posted by ericb at 9:27 PM on August 28, 2008


Select Your JohnMcCain.com Edition [_]Supporter [_] Undecided [_]UnRegistered Voter [x]Insaniac
posted by Artw at 9:27 PM on August 28, 2008


the tags are priceless.

rats
fucking
ratfuck
web-saavy
posted by clearly at 9:27 PM on August 28, 2008


*turns off signups at Polifi*
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:27 PM on August 28, 2008 [4 favorites]


transcript and video

Dude, what are you doing?
posted by Rubbstone at 9:27 PM on August 28, 2008


This post makes aborted fetus jebus cry.
posted by allen.spaulding at 9:28 PM on August 28, 2008


News organs.
posted by Artw at 9:28 PM on August 28, 2008


ANYONE WHO POSTS BELOW THIS LINE IS A MORAN

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
posted by Citizen Premier at 9:28 PM on August 28, 2008 [6 favorites]


If you're going to be a one issue voter, opt-out email is one hell of a choice.
posted by theclaw at 9:28 PM on August 28, 2008 [16 favorites]


Wither Obama? I'd prefer not to see him wither...
posted by Bromius at 9:28 PM on August 28, 2008


first
posted by krinklyfig at 9:29 PM on August 28, 2008


MerMAN, dad! MerMAN!
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:29 PM on August 28, 2008


clusteratfuck
posted by Krrrlson at 9:29 PM on August 28, 2008


wheeeeee!
posted by desuetude at 9:29 PM on August 28, 2008


Bravo. Amazingly terrible post.
posted by puke & cry at 9:29 PM on August 28, 2008


Slap*Happy, in case you were wondering, you took to much.
posted by Mr_Zero at 9:29 PM on August 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


God damn it, now when I google for videos of rats fucking, this will come up.
posted by Bromius at 9:29 PM on August 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Metafilter FAQ:

"Should I FPP while drunk? What about while on Mushrooms?"

Posting the the front page is not a decision to be taken lightly. Sudden lapses of judgment may lead to rambling, incoherent posts. Wait until the morning.
posted by Dillonlikescookies at 9:30 PM on August 28, 2008


The turtle moves.

Is that... jesus, is that a discworld reference? What on earth are you smoking tonight? Have I entered an alternate reality?
posted by Solon and Thanks at 9:30 PM on August 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


ANyOne WhiCH PoSTs A LiNE Is A MORan
posted by clearly at 9:30 PM on August 28, 2008


Obama oratory clinic laid down online later
Let me tell you how I got this username...
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 9:30 PM on August 28, 2008


Server Load wise, I could see Obama's speech being a wee bit more passed around than any of the rest of those speeches combined.

I wouldn't be surprised if they are doing multipass encoding, waiting for akamai caching replication to happen, and getting it rendered in HD, podcast and youtube formats.

Or someone forget to hit the big red button.

Obama's website team is pushing cutting edge in a lot of ways, mccain's website not so much.

. for the deleted post and the end to these hijinks.
posted by mrzarquon at 9:30 PM on August 28, 2008


VOTE MR CLEAN 2008 -- CLEAN AND WELL-SPARKLIN`
posted by palidor at 9:30 PM on August 28, 2008


Or is his lack of Web acumen actually causing him to dry up like a raisin in the sun?

What happens to a Dreamweaver deferred?
posted by kirkaracha at 9:31 PM on August 28, 2008 [6 favorites]


oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit

he's right.
posted by clearly at 9:31 PM on August 28, 2008


Let me guess -- peyote?

Go to sleep now. It will all be better in the morning.
posted by sugarfish at 9:31 PM on August 28, 2008


Seriously though, I'd like Slap*Happy to explain the series of thoughts he went through that led to this post. Like, what were you thinking that made you think this is what you wanted to post to metafilter?
posted by puke & cry at 9:31 PM on August 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


How is it possible that this is still here?
posted by EarBucket at 9:31 PM on August 28, 2008


You know who else's website did this?

That's right, Hillary Clinton.
posted by brownpau at 9:31 PM on August 28, 2008


buuuuuuuhhhhhh
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 9:31 PM on August 28, 2008


Blink Tag
posted by clearly at 9:32 PM on August 28, 2008


Eighty second!
posted by fungible at 9:32 PM on August 28, 2008


...
posted by iamabot at 9:32 PM on August 28, 2008


Now if someone would post the Treaty of Westphalia, we could all go to bed.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:32 PM on August 28, 2008


cortex, I got this one.

deleted for asininity and absolute chaos breaking out.
posted by clearly at 9:33 PM on August 28, 2008


WTF Denmark?
posted by Artw at 9:33 PM on August 28, 2008


What am I supposed to be enraged about again?
posted by ColdChef at 9:33 PM on August 28, 2008


THIS LINE CONCLUDES THE MORAN ZONE
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


ANyOne WhiCH PoSTs A LiNE Is A MORan

No, u.
posted by Citizen Premier at 9:33 PM on August 28, 2008


Wha? This is the domain used for all communications from the campaign.
posted by VulcanMike at 9:33 PM on August 28, 2008




Cut the blue wire.

No, wait...
posted by tula at 9:34 PM on August 28, 2008


lines for change.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
posted by VulcanMike at 9:34 PM on August 28, 2008


What happens to a Dreamweaver deferred?

Ask Gary Wright.
posted by ericb at 9:34 PM on August 28, 2008


DO YOU KNOW WHERE THEY HAD MORANS? IN HITLERS GERMANY!!!
posted by milnak at 9:34 PM on August 28, 2008


Picard froze as he and Elrond stared into each other’s depths, knowing that the elf’s words were true and heartfelt. It was possibly because of those reasons and others that Picard let himself lean in closer and the elf did the same. The lingering fear disappeared from Picard as he pressed his lips against Elrond’s mouth, feeling the peace he had come to know when in the other’s presence.

Elrond’s warm palm cupped Picard’s cheek as they moved closer, drawing them together as he slipped an arm protectively around the captain’s waist. Picard did the same as he tightened his hold with certainty and want. He combed his fingers through Elrond’s long hair then tucked it behind a pointed ear before having his hand rove to Elrond’s neck.

They drew away after what seemed a lifetime but was only mere minutes. The taste of Elrond’s lips still lingered in Picard’s mouth as they finally looked upon each other with new eyes. Relieved sighs came from both of them as both embraced, Elrond nuzzling against Picard’s neck as he rested against Elrond’s shoulder.

“It is getting late and you still need to rest for your healing,” Elrond said while he looked into Picard’s eyes again.

“I believe I will sleep better now,” Picard whispered, a slight blush reddening his cheeks.
posted by EarBucket at 9:34 PM on August 28, 2008 [12 favorites]


WARNING - you are broadcasting your IP
posted by 2sheets at 9:34 PM on August 28, 2008


(also, the msnbc video is broken right now, their servers can't handle the load of everyone wanting to watch the obama video, and they are own by freaking microsoft)
posted by mrzarquon at 9:35 PM on August 28, 2008


I decree Citizen Premier to be: OFFICIAL MORAN DETERMINER.
posted by clearly at 9:35 PM on August 28, 2008


Ceiling Cat is watching you draw lines and masturbate across them.
posted by junkbox at 9:35 PM on August 28, 2008


Loading outrage module...
posted by Krrrlson at 9:35 PM on August 28, 2008


Gary Shandling, Gary Shandling, Gary Shandling, Gary Shandling,
Gary Shandling, Gary Shandling, Gary Shandling, Gary Shandling,
Gary Gary Gary Gary Gary Gary Gary ( etc... )
posted by Sailormom at 9:35 PM on August 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


I too am hoping there is some explanation of the thought behind this post before it's deleted. I mean, as horrible posts go, this is truly a marvel.
posted by palidor at 9:35 PM on August 28, 2008


NEVER go full-retarded.
posted by Artw at 9:36 PM on August 28, 2008 [8 favorites]


metafilter: own by freaking microsoft
posted by VulcanMike at 9:36 PM on August 28, 2008


Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
posted by gompa at 9:36 PM on August 28, 2008


I put on my wizard hat and robe
posted by mrzarquon at 9:36 PM on August 28, 2008 [3 favorites]


The turtle moves.

Pinch, man. PINCH!!!
posted by felix betachat at 9:36 PM on August 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


OK. One more post, for old time's sake, before the red-faced embarrassment in the morning. I'm upset, but not under the influence of anything stronger than Coke Zero (the soft drink, not the powder. And only two cans, because it was a long commute.)

On the (skip me if you don't love spam! And no choice if you use google.) Barack Obama media page, there's a stirring video, as of 12:30am, of, get this, Hillary Clinton's DNC speech! Awesome!

I'm completely nuts (true) to be concerned by this (false.)

I =should= have taken another 15 minutes to re-compose the FPP. Too late, and now I am as one dead. Sorry. :(
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:36 PM on August 28, 2008


I decree Citizen Premier to be: OFFICIAL MORAN DETERMINER.

I'm afraid I cannot accept this nomination, as you are a moran.
posted by Citizen Premier at 9:36 PM on August 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


If this gets deleted, blame me rather than the admins.

Believe me, we will.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:36 PM on August 28, 2008


Shoot the hostage.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 9:37 PM on August 28, 2008


This brings back fond memories of this post before it got deleted.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 9:37 PM on August 28, 2008


Sup /b/?
posted by codswallop at 9:37 PM on August 28, 2008



I =should= have taken another 15 minutes to re-compose the FPP. Too late, and now I am as one dead. Sorry. :(


I'm pretty sure nobody's mad at you.
posted by Citizen Premier at 9:38 PM on August 28, 2008


I have flagged this as fantastic and blamed the admins.
posted by Artw at 9:38 PM on August 28, 2008


That's it. Obamamania has gone from cute descriptive term to actual diagnosis destined for the DSM.
posted by VulcanMike at 9:38 PM on August 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


If I actually took the time to read all the responses to this post it'd be closed before I could post my own.

So.

How y'all doing?
posted by lekvar at 9:39 PM on August 28, 2008


Oh cool, I've never posted in a deleted thread before.

And why in god's name would the admins be to blame for this, anyway?
posted by paisley henosis at 9:39 PM on August 28, 2008


Solon and Thanks writes "I notice you have included both 'rat fuck', 'rats', and 'fucking' in your tags. That seems redundant."

My friends, in all seriousness, for five and a half years, rats were all John McCain had to eat in a Hanoi prison camp.
posted by orthogonality at 9:39 PM on August 28, 2008 [3 favorites]


OK. One more post, for old time's sake, before the red-faced embarrassment in the morning.

Obviously, never faced 'The Walk of Shame.'
posted by ericb at 9:39 PM on August 28, 2008


Yay, I'm part of it!
posted by paisley henosis at 9:39 PM on August 28, 2008


Strangely, the funniest word in the whole post is "if," in the sentence "If this gets deleted, blame me rather than the admins."
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:39 PM on August 28, 2008


Mangog can take on 5 Hulks and 5 BiBeasts at the same time, without breaking a sweat. (if he can sweat) This isnt even a fight.
posted by Artw at 9:39 PM on August 28, 2008


This is very subtle time cube trolling.
posted by allen.spaulding at 9:40 PM on August 28, 2008


A fellow will remember a lot of things you wouldn't think he'd remember. You take me. One day, back in 1896, I was crossing over to Jersey on the ferry, and as we pulled out, there was another ferry pulling in, and on it there was a girl waiting to get off. A white dress she had on. She was carrying a white parasol. I only saw her for one second. She didn't see me at all, but I'll bet a month hasn't gone by since that I haven't thought of that girl.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:40 PM on August 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


petty stunt. asshole.
posted by saulgoodman at 9:40 PM on August 28, 2008


I'm afraid I cannot accept this nomination, as you are a moran.

I am afraid the nature of a decree is that it is not able to be declined.
posted by clearly at 9:40 PM on August 28, 2008


*WOOP*
WARNING
*WOOP*
NEW MORAN ZONE COMING UP
*WOOP*
CLEAR THE AREA TO AVOID CONTAMINATION
*WOOP*
posted by Citizen Premier at 9:40 PM on August 28, 2008


FOr whatever it's worth, NRO posted the full text of Obama's speech.
posted by Class Goat at 9:40 PM on August 28, 2008


Ok ok me too fine then ok? Ok.
posted by rtha at 9:41 PM on August 28, 2008


just upgraded to ff3 :P wheeeeee!
posted by kliuless at 9:41 PM on August 28, 2008


ass stunt, pettyhole.
posted by Artw at 9:41 PM on August 28, 2008


ANYOEN WHIOCH POSTS BELOW THIS LINE IS A MORANSSSSSS!!!!!!!

_________________________________________________________________________________________________
posted by Citizen Premier at 9:41 PM on August 28, 2008


OK, Metafilter. Let's count to 10.

1
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 9:41 PM on August 28, 2008


> I =should= have taken another 15 minutes to re-compose the FPP.

Actually, there was little to make a FPP in the first place.

Everyone wants obama's video, but no one has the capacity to serve them just yet, as it hasn't hit all the caching servers.

Yes, they don't have an easy opt out form. Again, not really a good FPP.

Even if you had 15 minutes, a breaking newsfilter story that everyone already knows about does not make a good FPP, especially when the content is in the editorialization of the post (OMG Obama doesn't have an opt out form: LOOK) instead of maybe linking to a really good dissection of the candidates web sites and following best practices.

Somewhat related: Obama's page and sections for ADA related matters acknowledges their shortcomings of the the design, and they are working to provide transcripts for people with disabilities.
posted by mrzarquon at 9:41 PM on August 28, 2008


You absolutely are completely nuts to be concerned by this. What explanation are you suggesting? Seriously, because I don't even know. Answer quickly, before this gets deleted. What do you believe is happening? What are you afraid of?

Also: what turtle?
posted by penduluum at 9:41 PM on August 28, 2008


I think he's suggesting that Obama's uncle killed Obama's father and married Obama's mother. Yes we Rosencrantz!
posted by ColdChef at 9:41 PM on August 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


3
posted by VulcanMike at 9:41 PM on August 28, 2008


This post is :(
posted by decagon at 9:42 PM on August 28, 2008


Watch this space.
posted by paisley henosis at 9:42 PM on August 28, 2008


11ty
posted by Krrrlson at 9:42 PM on August 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


My friends, in all seriousness, for five and a half years, rats were all John McCain had to eat in a Hanoi prison camp.

But he surely must have had something else to fuck.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 9:42 PM on August 28, 2008


oh wait, had you mixed up with slapfactory. still, fail.
posted by saulgoodman at 9:42 PM on August 28, 2008


Slap Happy, let me just say that you win an award for "Most Convincing Psychotic Breakdown on MeFi".

Congrats and good luck with your new padded room!!! :D
posted by Avenger at 9:43 PM on August 28, 2008


Motherfucker.

oh noes, the period is not bold!
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 9:43 PM on August 28, 2008


4
posted by codswallop at 9:43 PM on August 28, 2008


What the fuck happened here?

Mommy?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 9:43 PM on August 28, 2008


That LOTR/Star Trek fanfic is ridiculous. Elrond would never go for a human.
posted by nooneyouknow at 9:43 PM on August 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


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