July 5, 2001

12:44 PM

Are fireworks more fun when you have been "drinking heavily"? I think so.
posted by donkeysuck (25 comments total)

use them around children,expected mothers, clergymen, small hoofed animals, ones probation officer, the fire marshal,winged demons(hoofed demons count) and a nobel prize winner. but NEVER while drinking alcohol.
posted by clavdivs at 12:51 PM on July 5, 2001

why was he baking lasagna at 3am?
posted by corpse at 1:21 PM on July 5, 2001

3am lasagna is the best kind of lasagna.

mmmm...three a.m. lasagna...
posted by jpoulos at 1:24 PM on July 5, 2001

Usually, when I want lasagne at 3am, I'm already 'baking.'
posted by perplexed at 1:25 PM on July 5, 2001

Too bad no one died. This could have been a Darwin Award nominee.
posted by ColdChef at 1:26 PM on July 5, 2001

i think perplexed got it right...

lasagna at 3am isn't hangover food, its munchies food.
posted by th3ph17 at 1:49 PM on July 5, 2001

How much ordinance must have been packed into the oven to blow it through the wall out of the house? That's the only thing I'd like to know.

Heee! Lass' blow up thisyere box 'o dynamite! Hoooo!

sorry.
posted by liquidgnome at 2:21 PM on July 5, 2001

And people still question why I am so disdainful of intoxication. To me, it's a no-brainer (no pun intended).
posted by Dreama at 2:25 PM on July 5, 2001

liquidgnome: I was wondering that same thing. ovens are heavy and not easy to move for the most part.

sub-question... Given how much firepower it would take to accomplish this feat, how drunk do you have to be to not notice a large quantity of fireworks in the oven when putting in lasagna to be heated?
posted by srw12 at 2:30 PM on July 5, 2001

why was he baking lasagna at 3am?

"According to Duddy, the group, "who had been drinking heavily,"..."

I think that answers your question. Baking lasagna at 3am... the only way he could have proved even further that the group had been "drinking heavily" would have been to go on a 3am White Castle run.
posted by tomorama at 2:30 PM on July 5, 2001

srw12: I think he just turned the oven on to heat it up before putting in the lasagna. I mean even drunk, one knows to always, always pre-heat the oven.
posted by sexymofo at 2:35 PM on July 5, 2001

alcohol and explosives. a slice of american life.
posted by will at 2:39 PM on July 5, 2001

he hides his rum by the furnace.
posted by clavdivs at 3:09 PM on July 5, 2001

Dreama: may I borrow your logic? I'll use it next time I want to use an isolated, unusual incident to prove a largely unrelated point.
posted by Mars Saxman at 3:13 PM on July 5, 2001

How much ordinance must have been packed into the oven to blow it through the wall out of the house?

There were M-80s involved.
posted by iceberg273 at 3:16 PM on July 5, 2001

An M-80 is something like a quarter-stick of dynamite, no?
posted by tomorama at 3:36 PM on July 5, 2001

An M-80 is something like a quarter-stick of dynamite, no?

I was just trying to figure that out. I think it probably depends on the flash powder recipe that they used.
posted by iceberg273 at 3:39 PM on July 5, 2001

What is an M-80? And why can't you buy one? states there is no legitimate comparison to dynamite, while this news article refers to the firecracker as having the power of a quarter stick. Either way, I doubt I'd ever go near one.
posted by tomorama at 3:58 PM on July 5, 2001

Either way, I doubt I'd ever go near one.

Or put one in the oven.
posted by iceberg273 at 4:01 PM on July 5, 2001

Dreama: may I borrow your logic? I'll use it next time I want to use an isolated, unusual incident to prove a largely unrelated point.

I was not attempting to prove a point, largely unrelated or otherwise, but simply stating that incidents like this illustrate the primary reason for my disdain of intoxication. (And intoxicated people.) I don't think that it's so bizarre to find it rather offputting that people continue to purposefully impair themselves when that impairment is so frequently followed by incidents of this manner, or worse.
posted by Dreama at 4:11 PM on July 5, 2001

I can vouch for that. I purposefully impair myself at semi-regular intervals, and exploding stoves are the bane of my existence. See this scar? Now you know what happens when grilled cheese and ham toast is rapidly expelled from a half-open grill pan, turning into a flaming and meteoric projectile faster than you can add low-fat mayonnaise, assuming you would want to.

The fireworks are just for color.
posted by lucien at 9:03 PM on July 5, 2001

Yeah, sober people never do anything like that. (Mentally reviewing all the stupid, stupid things I've done in my life, some as dumb as turning on an oven with fireworks in it, and recalling that I've never once been drunk.) Nope, never.
posted by kindall at 9:07 PM on July 5, 2001

Why just think of all the crazy smokers that have set their faces on fire while lighting their cigarettes from a gas stove!

There are sober smokers out there, right?
posted by keli at 1:55 AM on July 6, 2001

I, uh... knew people in college, yeah, knew people, friends of mine, who used to go train-dodging, sober, because it was scarier that way.
posted by headspace at 5:38 AM on July 6, 2001

How much ordinance must have been packed into the oven to blow it through the wall out of the house?

Exactly. And, when you consider: "According to Duddy, the group, 'who had been drinking heavily,' were shooting fireworks off for several hours ". By 3 am they still had enough to blow up part of a house? How much did they start with?
posted by jpoulos at 6:18 AM on July 6, 2001