The Coming of the Robochrist
April 8, 2010 5:08 PM Subscribe
Paul Verhoeven, director of Robocop, Total Recall, Basic Instinct, and many others, is also a dedicated scholar of the life of Jesus Christ. As such, he published a book last week called Jesus of Nazareth. In it, we learn that "coming to a deeper understanding of the historical Jesus has been a lifelong passion for Verhoeven"—so much so that Robocop was actually an allegory for the death of Jesus Christ. Considering the ongoing rumors that Darren Aronofsky might direct a remake of Robocop, perhaps we can now suggest our own plot: Jesus is publicly tortured in his mid-thirties and killed, only to come back a few days later through a mysterious and agonizing process of machine-resurrection. He/she/it then haunts the unpaved streets of 33 AD Israel, leading a robotic insurrection against Rome. The film is condemned as sacrilegious by a pedophile pope, becoming a cult classic on DVD... At the end of the day, though, putting all theology (and film plots) aside, Christ was just a good guy: "Jesus was elevated to divine status," Verhoeven opines in a two-part interview with his publisher. "That, I think, was a mistake."
This post was deleted for the following reason: Man, I love Robocop and all but you kinda sunk your own post by treating it like a blog entry. Also, I am deleting this from an iPad. -- cortex
Robocop was actually an allegory for the death of Jesus Christ.
Duh. I've been saying that for years.
What does that make the ED-209? Some sort of proto-Jesus that failed?
posted by Think_Long at 5:11 PM on April 8, 2010
Duh. I've been saying that for years.
What does that make the ED-209? Some sort of proto-Jesus that failed?
posted by Think_Long at 5:11 PM on April 8, 2010
ED-209 is the Old Testament God.
posted by The Card Cheat at 5:14 PM on April 8, 2010 [5 favorites]
posted by The Card Cheat at 5:14 PM on April 8, 2010 [5 favorites]
On one hand, the main body of this post is barely, tangentially supported by the links.
On the other hand, the main body of this post is awesome.
I feel so conflicted.
posted by lekvar at 5:15 PM on April 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
On the other hand, the main body of this post is awesome.
I feel so conflicted.
posted by lekvar at 5:15 PM on April 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
I'm sorry, but I find this sort of blasphemy insulting. Remaking Robocop? Heresy!
posted by steef at 5:15 PM on April 8, 2010 [5 favorites]
posted by steef at 5:15 PM on April 8, 2010 [5 favorites]
Wouldn't ED-209 be John the Baptist?
posted by lekvar at 5:16 PM on April 8, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by lekvar at 5:16 PM on April 8, 2010 [2 favorites]
Hold on, hold on! I thought Jesus only had the one rule, not the four!
posted by lattiboy at 5:16 PM on April 8, 2010
posted by lattiboy at 5:16 PM on April 8, 2010
What does that make the ED-209?
ED-209 was the attempt to produce (divine) justice absent an actual soul. Lacking the capacity for empathy in judgement (also, lacking human form), ED-209 represents the logical end of that path: temporal power, capable of destruction, but destined to fall in the long run.
JesusCop, on the other hand, has a soul, and a connection to Divine Knowledge through his data-shank, which is both what he uses to learn the truth that is hidden, as well as to destroy his foes with Divine Truth.
Also: when fighting JesusCop in your den of iniquity, make sure you aren't surrounded by the fruits of sin (liquid toxic waste) or you might get splashed across a windshield.
posted by yeloson at 5:20 PM on April 8, 2010 [12 favorites]
ED-209 was the attempt to produce (divine) justice absent an actual soul. Lacking the capacity for empathy in judgement (also, lacking human form), ED-209 represents the logical end of that path: temporal power, capable of destruction, but destined to fall in the long run.
JesusCop, on the other hand, has a soul, and a connection to Divine Knowledge through his data-shank, which is both what he uses to learn the truth that is hidden, as well as to destroy his foes with Divine Truth.
Also: when fighting JesusCop in your den of iniquity, make sure you aren't surrounded by the fruits of sin (liquid toxic waste) or you might get splashed across a windshield.
posted by yeloson at 5:20 PM on April 8, 2010 [12 favorites]
lekvar is right. Duh!
posted by thescientificmethhead at 5:23 PM on April 8, 2010
posted by thescientificmethhead at 5:23 PM on April 8, 2010
Every single hero movie ever is an allegory of the Christ story it seems.
And Verhoeven is a hack 9 times out of 10.
If he was from Ohio, he would get called on it more, but his gauzy Euro mystique makes people believe dumb shit about his motivations.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 5:26 PM on April 8, 2010
And Verhoeven is a hack 9 times out of 10.
If he was from Ohio, he would get called on it more, but his gauzy Euro mystique makes people believe dumb shit about his motivations.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 5:26 PM on April 8, 2010
And it was then that Jesus washed their feet in a bowl, to show them humility and grace. When he was finished, he dried their feet with a towel, and folded it neatly. It took quite some time, for he was a robot, but it was cool to watch nonetheless.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 5:26 PM on April 8, 2010 [6 favorites]
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 5:26 PM on April 8, 2010 [6 favorites]
Robocop still rules tho.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 5:27 PM on April 8, 2010
posted by Senor Cardgage at 5:27 PM on April 8, 2010
When creating unremarkable exploitation fare wrapped in a thin veneer of pseudo-literary pretension no longer satisfies.
posted by nanojath at 5:27 PM on April 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by nanojath at 5:27 PM on April 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
When Clarence Boddicker says, "Bitches leave!" he's actually standing in for the treatment of women by the Catholic Church.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 5:29 PM on April 8, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by kittens for breakfast at 5:29 PM on April 8, 2010 [3 favorites]
I'd buy that for a dollar.
(Detroit, I mean)
posted by Artw at 5:31 PM on April 8, 2010 [2 favorites]
(Detroit, I mean)
posted by Artw at 5:31 PM on April 8, 2010 [2 favorites]
It's not like Verhoeven has ever tried to hide that he found some allegory in Robocop. He still made a damn awesome and entertaining action movie. After all, Murphy's death scene is so intense because Verhoeven said "You can't have the resurrection without the crucifixion..." He's talked about it in interviews or whatever..
posted by ReeMonster at 5:35 PM on April 8, 2010
posted by ReeMonster at 5:35 PM on April 8, 2010
Truly, I tell you, this very night, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times. Your move, creep.
posted by shakespeherian at 5:42 PM on April 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by shakespeherian at 5:42 PM on April 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
MetaFilter: I'd buy that for five dollars.
posted by phaedon at 5:44 PM on April 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by phaedon at 5:44 PM on April 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
And Verhoeven so neatly wraps up all 4 gospels in 2 lines:
Reporter: Robo, excuse me, Robo, any special message for all the kids watching at home?
RoboCop: Stay out of trouble.
posted by beelzbubba at 5:45 PM on April 8, 2010 [5 favorites]
Reporter: Robo, excuse me, Robo, any special message for all the kids watching at home?
RoboCop: Stay out of trouble.
posted by beelzbubba at 5:45 PM on April 8, 2010 [5 favorites]
I know you. We killed you.
posted by Elmore at 5:48 PM on April 8, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by Elmore at 5:48 PM on April 8, 2010 [3 favorites]
The scene that made Robocop really work was when MechaMurphy returned to his 'home', which was an empty shell, and punched the video salesperson on the way out. Jesus never did that - he may have kicked over a few traders stalls, but he never punched a real estate agent in the vdu, which is something we can all relate too.
posted by Elmore at 5:53 PM on April 8, 2010
posted by Elmore at 5:53 PM on April 8, 2010
Stop killing Judas!
Wait, wrong action film.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 5:55 PM on April 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
Wait, wrong action film.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 5:55 PM on April 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
On one hand, the main body of this post is barely, tangentially supported by the links.
On the other hand, the main body of this post is awesome.
I feel so conflicted.
We shall call you Thomas-900.
posted by Elmore at 5:56 PM on April 8, 2010 [2 favorites]
Every single hero movie ever is an allegory of the Christ story it seems.
See: monomyth.
posted by mek at 5:57 PM on April 8, 2010
See: monomyth.
posted by mek at 5:57 PM on April 8, 2010
posted by BLDGBLOG (23 comments total)
Eponysterical!!!!1! GYOetc.
posted by drpynchon at 5:58 PM on April 8, 2010
Eponysterical!!!!1! GYOetc.
posted by drpynchon at 5:58 PM on April 8, 2010
Starship Troopers was described to me as "the most expensive art-movie ever made" and I agree. Paul Verhoeven is a genius.
posted by ovvl at 6:03 PM on April 8, 2010
posted by ovvl at 6:03 PM on April 8, 2010
This seems like ground well-trod by some episode of Futurama. "Good news" and all that. Bender with a silicon Eucharist? No?
posted by stevil at 6:03 PM on April 8, 2010
posted by stevil at 6:03 PM on April 8, 2010
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i don't even
posted by m0nm0n at 5:10 PM on April 8, 2010 [3 favorites]