Curtis Got Slapped By A White Teacher

November 11, 2010 4:17 AM

Curtis Got Slapped By A White Teacher One mother's cry to stop the insanity in the schools... with insanity.
posted by Drainage! (41 comments total)

I liked the demands in 3.5 best:

"Floridian spa - 5 full passes for 5 people, for 7 days (h) Lodging at the Polynesian Resort Orland. 1 Standard Room with Lagoon View ($470/night approx. x 7 nights): 1 Club Level Room with Concierge Services - 2 Bedroom Ambassador Suite ($1,585/night, approx. x 7 nights)"

Note to Mrs Lisa Henry Bowen, sovereign mother, intellectual property holder: I'm not sure you've understood what white privilege is.
posted by MuffinMan at 4:29 AM on November 11, 2010

Dang.
posted by sciurus at 4:33 AM on November 11, 2010

Also, you forgot the ©, MuffinMan.
posted by sciurus at 4:38 AM on November 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

i doubt there's any way to discuss this that won't get the post yanked. having said that, i think it's time for curtis© to be home schooled.
posted by msconduct at 4:39 AM on November 11, 2010

"Sovereign mother" is a pretty curious phrase. Wonder what she means by that. Also, she seems to think she owns her kid in the same way you'd own a house or a car.

40 pages, wow.
posted by WalterMitty at 4:39 AM on November 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

i think it's time for curtis© to be home schooled.

I don't know that that's a great idea. School is one time when he's not within earshot of his mother's crazy.
posted by WalterMitty at 4:40 AM on November 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

Speaking engagements? Utility payments for 9 years? "Wal-Mark" gift cards?

This has to be a beautiful hoax.
posted by The Giant Squid at 4:42 AM on November 11, 2010

I dunno, it seems pretty reasonable to me.
posted by unSane at 4:47 AM on November 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

Yeah, I've been following this over at Something Awful (don't judge me), and I was wondering if/when it would show up on MeFi. The first thing I noticed was the bizarre copyright misuse, which leads me to believe that Lisa Bowen has bought into the whole Sovereign Citizen Movement scam. And I understand that 4chan has caught wind of this now, so I really hope things turn out optimally for everyone involved: professional repercussions for the teacher, a better school for Curtis and mental health care for Lisa.
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:48 AM on November 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

msconduct If this kid's mother is as looney as that letter says, it's better that he stay in school.
posted by SansPoint at 4:50 AM on November 11, 2010

I didn't read every single page of this, but I absolutely lost it when I saw the image of a painter doing a portrait of Curtis. My first reaction to this was "hoax", but not following SA or 4chan, I don't really know all the details here. But it did please me to see someone use itisamystery.jpg on Page 1 of the thread.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:54 AM on November 11, 2010

There's no real identifying information in there that could get me in trouble, I don't think.

Apart of course from Curtis' full name, age and school details, and his mother's full name. If it's real, a whole bucket of contempt and outrage comes down on his mom's head, and thus also his.

If it's a hoax, it's in pretty fucken poor taste.

Let's not do this.
posted by Ahab at 4:56 AM on November 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Not wanting to waste ANY more time than taking a quick squiz... surely it is fake?
posted by uncanny hengeman at 4:58 AM on November 11, 2010

A post to a forum on SA? Seriously?
posted by Old'n'Busted at 4:58 AM on November 11, 2010

If it works for Congress, why not Ms. Bowen?

the cool thing about this is that it deliberately stakes out some extreme positions. That's how you negotiate - ask for more than you expect to get and you may get what you need.
posted by honest knave at 4:59 AM on November 11, 2010

i have nothing but sympathy for curtis©. but curtis© is going to have to deal with the hand he was dealt. i don't think the entire educational system of kansas city should have to deal with it. i also seriously doubt if it stops with the school; this woman obviously has some deep-seated issues that she chooses to deal with by shouldering the burden of black oppression. it's a shame she's using curtis© as her pawn.

i sort of hope she signs up for a metafilter© account and jumps in here.
posted by msconduct at 4:59 AM on November 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Apology from teacher? Okay. All-expense paid Disney vacation? Not so much. Remodeling house? Quarter mil in silver coins? All utilites paid for next 9 years? 21-day Africa trip? Consulting job for $15k/month, min 6 monthis, for 9 years? Oh, come on.

But the no H.A.R.R.P signal directed towards KCMO school district and environs to make the kids crazy... hate to tell you - but you came up with this crazy all on your own. Didn't need any secret government program to do THAT...
posted by JB71 at 5:00 AM on November 11, 2010

I dunno, it seems pretty reasonable to me.
posted by unSane at 7:47 AM on November 11 [2 favorites -] Favorite added! [!]

Eponysterical!
posted by brand-gnu at 5:05 AM on November 11, 2010

I don't think laughing at people who may be suffering from metal illness is OK.
posted by ChrisHartley at 5:07 AM on November 11, 2010

Duh it's a 4chan troll. There's no way on Earth it's real
posted by moorooka at 5:17 AM on November 11, 2010

Nor do I don't think laughing at people who may be suffering from metal illness is OK.
posted by willF at 5:17 AM on November 11, 2010

Er, that should be not do I think laughing at people who may be suffering from metal illness is OK.
posted by willF at 5:17 AM on November 11, 2010

Er, that should be not do I think laughing at people who may be suffering from metal illness is

OK.That's alright, we'll be laughing at dyslexia next.
posted by Ahab at 5:20 AM on November 11, 2010

Somethingawful is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you're going to get. Sometimes you end up with an achingly beautiful blend of texture and flavour, the intricate subtleties of which will haunt you forever once it slides behind the SA 6-month forum paywall. Curtis Got Slapped is more like the single rancid almond encased in hydrogenated vegetable oil "truffle", or maybe the carob and pine-nut swirl with durian. Do not want.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 5:20 AM on November 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Dyslexics of the World: Untie!
posted by MuffinMan at 5:21 AM on November 11, 2010

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:22 AM on November 11, 2010 [4 favorites]

I think and hope this is fake.
posted by I Foody at 5:23 AM on November 11, 2010

Kansas City? I didn't like the place, too many bigots.
posted by Goofyy at 5:26 AM on November 11, 2010

This also has a whiff of LOLblack people too. Mad people post stuff to the web all the time -- I don't enjoy gawking and laughing at any of it.
posted by Astro Zombie at 5:34 AM on November 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

This is very sad. I don't think it's a hoax - it's not at all entertaining.

What I read in this letter is how this woman continues to feel like the system is stacked against her and her family, because of their race. I can imagine that some of this is how they have been treated by some people, both now & in the past. Which then colours her reaction to everything else, so that she sees racially based treatment even if it's just that the person is being short with her.

This saddens me, because it's not just that she may be a bit over the top. I have met people who feel the same way - they have been treated differently because of their race, and then they begin to see all interactions as being potentially racist. Which further hinders racial integration.

(This is saying nothing about the slapping incident. Slapping seems an extreme reaction in the situation, and probably inappropriate. But teachers do need the right to gently restrain children without being charged with assault, a right which has been taken away in some school districts).
posted by jb at 5:35 AM on November 11, 2010

And she's very right about how the system seems more interested in incarcerating young black men, rather than seeing them succeed.
posted by jb at 5:36 AM on November 11, 2010

I don't think laughing at people who may be suffering from metal illness is OK.

Try laughing at sane people and see how that makes you feel.
posted by Brian B. at 5:41 AM on November 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Okay. Shut it down, boys.

To be clear (assuming this is real), I agree with her opinions of the system keeping down certain demographics of people. And I agree that children should never be hit ever. But where she starts faulting her own arguments is when she makes financial demands, and the profit motive rears its head (and not even in the slightest of subtle ways).

But I wasn't trying to offend or make fun of anyone. It was more of the jaw-dropped awe of ridiculousness that I wanted to share. I apologize.
posted by Drainage! at 5:43 AM on November 11, 2010

I don't know if it's real or if it's a faaaaake, but if it is a fake, it's very well done. The "sovereign citizen" movement members can and do make extravagant and detailed legal claims, all the time. And quarterly counseling from Cornell West? When I worked in a public library, we'd get requests all the time for celebrities' phone numbers, and when we'd give them the number of their agent or management firm, they'd say, no, they wanted the phone number that they could reach Michael Jackson or whomever at, directly, now. They'd want Johnnie Cochran to represent them in a dispute with their landlord--not the Cochran Firm (which had offices in several cities) but Cochran himself, personally. Delusions of grandeur have no limit; they start at the sky and go straight out at warp factor nine.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:44 AM on November 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

fake tl;dr: I slap the whole funky mess. I accidently the whole ream of paper. Alex Jones says hi.

real tl;dr: I sincerely hope this is fake, because otherwise we are witness to the last sane moment this woman ever had (about the end if page 7). If real, then we're seeing a lifetime of anxiety as a Black woman, provider and caretaker in this country cave in on itself and that would be too horrible to contemplate. And the kid's person-in-authority dynamics might be coming off the rails too.

...either way I don't think this a punishable-by-death post
posted by drowsy at 5:45 AM on November 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

"I don't think laughing at people who may be suffering from metal illness is OK."

As a dude who spent a few years on a disability support pension- for being crazy- I absolutely support laughter directed at mentally ill folk. Tiptoeing around people who are fucked in the head is a great way to not help them even slightly.
posted by Gamien Boffenburg at 5:48 AM on November 11, 2010 [7 favorites]

This Something Awful forum post really pisses me off. I don't care if it's real or not. I want to hear more about mothers, black or white, who vigorously defend their children and do everything they can to keep them away from violence and disrespect of any sort, and to keep them around excellent people. This mockery is demeaning and unworthy. If this woman is mentally unbalanced, then she can't truly stand for these important principles, and if she's invented, then the purpose of such invention would seem to be plainly racist.
posted by facetious at 5:50 AM on November 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

I don't think it's a hoax. Would be a lot better if it was and there is no family out there in this situation.

Honestly, with the exception of the list of the demands and referring to her son as "sovereign property", I liked her letter. Or I guess I could say there is something about it that I understand. It channels centuries of anger and frustration into the experience of one little slapped boy. Now that is way too much to put on his shoulders and I do think she has an extremely poor sense of perspective. But many of her charges, her manner of speaking, and the direction of her anger are not alien to me.

Take page 31, which the forum poster called proof of her insanity. Other than demand number 5 (conspiratorial craziness about H.A.R.R.P. in which she is not alone), all of the other demands are about things that have actually been done to black people.

All of the financial stuff she demands is over-the-top and perhaps represents what she thinks it would take for her son to have as much privilege as a white kid who attends an elite private school (she alludes to as much on page 27). Her demands for speaking fees, consulting fees, are what she thinks her opinion should be worth (as opposed to what she thinks white society says her opinion is worth, which is less than nothing).

Much of the substance of the letter itself is not what makes this disturbing to me. It's the packaging: pages of carbon copies, copywriting signs with her son's name (I guess that's part of the Sovereign Movement??), the fact that the letter is 40 pages.
posted by Danila at 5:50 AM on November 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

As a dude who spent a few years on a disability support pension- for being crazy- I absolutely support laughter directed at mentally ill folk.

But, then, you're crazy.
posted by Astro Zombie at 5:56 AM on November 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

There's really nothing to say about this except it's weird and may be a hoax. Forward to FARK and delete.
posted by MarshallPoe at 5:59 AM on November 11, 2010

Yep. Catch-motherfucking annoying-22. Ah well.
posted by Gamien Boffenburg at 6:04 AM on November 11, 2010