The sports infidelity equation
December 7, 2010 12:32 PM Subscribe
Since the Tiger Woods scandal last year, a lot of attention has been directed towards athletes and their infidelity. ESPN looks at why some athletes' wives look the other way when their husbands cheat.
This post was deleted for the following reason: I don't think this is going to go anywhere good really. -- mathowie
It wouldn't be the big house and lavish lifestyle would it?
...well that about wraps up this thread.
posted by 2bucksplus at 12:38 PM on December 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
...well that about wraps up this thread.
posted by 2bucksplus at 12:38 PM on December 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
Man, I was all set to RTFA and then they ruined it for me.
posted by fixedgear at 12:39 PM on December 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by fixedgear at 12:39 PM on December 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
Well, yeah. Also, all the other reasons everyone else stays with cheating partners--love, hope they'll change, staying together for the kids, low self-esteem, poor conflict negotiation skills...
And lots of money.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:39 PM on December 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
And lots of money.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:39 PM on December 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
2buckplus: yes, it does. But the article dance around this pretty good and wraps a lot of nothing.
posted by Old'n'Busted at 12:43 PM on December 7, 2010
posted by Old'n'Busted at 12:43 PM on December 7, 2010
Well what do you expect from testosterone-driven athletes. Thank the good Lord this sort of thing does not happen in Hollywood or among rock musicians or politicians. Easy enough to make snarly comments about these folks but being rich and famous and having celebrity is very tough.
posted by Postroad at 12:44 PM on December 7, 2010
posted by Postroad at 12:44 PM on December 7, 2010
GPS on the cars, extra cell-phones, running and cheating and hiding- who has that kind of time? Does the same drive that brings one to play a game for a (fat!) living inspire one to play games with their romantic relationships?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:44 PM on December 7, 2010
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:44 PM on December 7, 2010
sidhedevil: staying together for the kids, low self-esteem - add in simple "I'm somebody with him and nobody without him" and you've got my mother. Without my father, she'd go back to being just another white-trash Appalachia women instead of the wife of a local muckity-muck.
At least he never hit her, say that much.
posted by Old'n'Busted at 12:45 PM on December 7, 2010
At least he never hit her, say that much.
posted by Old'n'Busted at 12:45 PM on December 7, 2010
Or, if you prefer: It is difficult to get a woman to understand something, when her shopping budget depends upon her not understanding it.
posted by Joe Beese at 12:46 PM on December 7, 2010
posted by Joe Beese at 12:46 PM on December 7, 2010
ouch, Joe Beese, that is pretty cold.
posted by I am the Walrus at 12:56 PM on December 7, 2010
posted by I am the Walrus at 12:56 PM on December 7, 2010
This article is really more about why the athletes cheat and how the married pairs deal with it. This summarizes most of it, and the power imbalance at the heart of most of these marriages:
He chalks up the pattern of [cheating] behavior to a patriarchal society and what he calls "spoiled-athlete syndrome." Since childhood, he says, athletes are enabled because of their obvious talent. And in the same way the culture of celebrity is celebrated, athletic heroes are worshipped.
Ortiz says he observed three ways in which the issue of infidelity is handled in these marriages: one, with humor, and two, avoidance of the subject. The third, he says, typically occurs when the wife searches for evidence in laundry, e-mail messages or phone calls.
"A major stressor is the fear of infidelity," Ortiz says. "[The wives] have no control over the situation."
posted by bearwife at 12:56 PM on December 7, 2010
He chalks up the pattern of [cheating] behavior to a patriarchal society and what he calls "spoiled-athlete syndrome." Since childhood, he says, athletes are enabled because of their obvious talent. And in the same way the culture of celebrity is celebrated, athletic heroes are worshipped.
Ortiz says he observed three ways in which the issue of infidelity is handled in these marriages: one, with humor, and two, avoidance of the subject. The third, he says, typically occurs when the wife searches for evidence in laundry, e-mail messages or phone calls.
"A major stressor is the fear of infidelity," Ortiz says. "[The wives] have no control over the situation."
posted by bearwife at 12:56 PM on December 7, 2010
i wish they would have done a little research on how this differs from women who stay with men who cheat when the men who cheat aren't professional athletes. because i'll bet the percentages aren't significantly different.
posted by msconduct at 12:59 PM on December 7, 2010
posted by msconduct at 12:59 PM on December 7, 2010
I used to work for a chartered accountant who did family law (divorce) support. We provided expert testimony in the finances for a really high profile divorce in which the negotiated settlement was in five figures (USD) a month, for life. The marriage was an epic disaster, with decades of physical and emotional abuse. The soon-to-be-ex-wife, our client, was under a doctor's care and had only come to the point of filing for divorce when she was repeatedly hospitalized for stress and exhaustion.
She had never balanced - heck, never even looked at - her checkbook. She had never gone to college, worked outside the home, or had a bank account of her own. Didn't know how much was in the bank - had never needed to know. The settlement would keep her in comfort equivalent to her married state, at least financially, for as long as she lived. However, she would now have to look at her bank balance before writing checks.
At the mediation table, just before she signed the settlement, she murmured to our rep, "Do you think I'd be better off just staying with him?"
Boy, that financial dependence is one helluva drug.
posted by toodleydoodley at 12:59 PM on December 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
She had never balanced - heck, never even looked at - her checkbook. She had never gone to college, worked outside the home, or had a bank account of her own. Didn't know how much was in the bank - had never needed to know. The settlement would keep her in comfort equivalent to her married state, at least financially, for as long as she lived. However, she would now have to look at her bank balance before writing checks.
At the mediation table, just before she signed the settlement, she murmured to our rep, "Do you think I'd be better off just staying with him?"
Boy, that financial dependence is one helluva drug.
posted by toodleydoodley at 12:59 PM on December 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
« Older Groupon Editorial Manual | Acres and Acres of Woodcut Goodness Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by zeoslap at 12:34 PM on December 7, 2010 [3 favorites]