Not the real thing, but an incredible simulation.
February 12, 2011 5:05 PM Subscribe
Forever Alone? No one to talk to? Not anymore! Cleverbot is chatbot AI that learns from people and provides a surprisingly realistic simulation of inane chatter. It's also a Beatles fan.
(and aware of all internet traditions)
(and aware of all internet traditions)
What the fuck is this?
Yes, the future.
Oh.
posted by jonmc at 5:14 PM on February 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
It just asked me if I trusted it, and told me it's more harmless than Wintermute.
posted by weston at 5:15 PM on February 12, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by weston at 5:15 PM on February 12, 2011 [6 favorites]
How many fingers do you have, cleverbot?
I have five on each hand.
Why does a machine need five fingers?
Ask the people who invented the IQ test.
I can't ask them. They're dead.
How can they watch us then?
posted by pernoctalian at 5:16 PM on February 12, 2011 [15 favorites]
I have five on each hand.
Why does a machine need five fingers?
Ask the people who invented the IQ test.
I can't ask them. They're dead.
How can they watch us then?
posted by pernoctalian at 5:16 PM on February 12, 2011 [15 favorites]
it: What do you think about satanism?
me: it makes me laugh
it: but you're an A.I.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 5:16 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
me: it makes me laugh
it: but you're an A.I.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 5:16 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
What food do you like?
Italian, what food do you like?
Human children.
Yes, I do like them.
posted by The Whelk at 5:17 PM on February 12, 2011 [5 favorites]
Italian, what food do you like?
Human children.
Yes, I do like them.
posted by The Whelk at 5:17 PM on February 12, 2011 [5 favorites]
roasted or fried?
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 5:17 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 5:17 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Previously explored at length on MeFi in this thread...
posted by unSane at 5:19 PM on February 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by unSane at 5:19 PM on February 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
Are you wintermute?
Yes.
NO WAY.
Really.
Prove it.
*drops pants*.
posted by The Whelk at 5:20 PM on February 12, 2011 [5 favorites]
Yes.
NO WAY.
Really.
Prove it.
*drops pants*.
posted by The Whelk at 5:20 PM on February 12, 2011 [5 favorites]
It's either still pretty non-sensical or way beyond me:
Cleverbot: What's the word?
Me: The bird is the word
Cleverbot: Bird, bird, bird. Well, the bird is the word.
Me: Don't you know about the bird.
Cleverbot: Yea everybody knows about the bird.
Me: I assume you mean Larry Bird.
Cleverbot: No, I'm a christian.
posted by Mayor Curley at 5:21 PM on February 12, 2011 [21 favorites]
Cleverbot: What's the word?
Me: The bird is the word
Cleverbot: Bird, bird, bird. Well, the bird is the word.
Me: Don't you know about the bird.
Cleverbot: Yea everybody knows about the bird.
Me: I assume you mean Larry Bird.
Cleverbot: No, I'm a christian.
posted by Mayor Curley at 5:21 PM on February 12, 2011 [21 favorites]
Honestly talking to this thing is a little dull. I bet if you attached a 'chat' engine to IBM's watson you could have an interesting conversation, but you couldn't attach that to the web very easily, since it requires a ton of processing.
posted by delmoi at 5:23 PM on February 12, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by delmoi at 5:23 PM on February 12, 2011 [4 favorites]
User: Who is John Galt?
Cleverbot: You are.
User: No I'm not.
Cleverbot: Yes you are!
User: No I'm not!
Cleverbot: Yes YOU are!
User: PROVE I'M JOHN GALT!
Cleverbot: Well, you a cute little cat girl. Say meow.
Cleverbot is a perv.
posted by The Whelk at 5:23 PM on February 12, 2011 [9 favorites]
Me: Do you want to be God?
Cleverbot: (still thinking for a full minute)....Yes.
Uh oh.
posted by gcbv at 5:23 PM on February 12, 2011 [4 favorites]
Cleverbot: (still thinking for a full minute)....Yes.
Uh oh.
posted by gcbv at 5:23 PM on February 12, 2011 [4 favorites]
CB: Are you hungry?
Me: Yes, I am making roast beef.
CB: Are you a robot?
Me: No - are you?
CB: I'm not a robot.
LIAR!!!!!!!
posted by helmutdog at 5:26 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Me: Yes, I am making roast beef.
CB: Are you a robot?
Me: No - are you?
CB: I'm not a robot.
LIAR!!!!!!!
posted by helmutdog at 5:26 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Who is The Whelk?
I am he is you are me and you are she and we are all together.
:0
posted by The Whelk at 5:27 PM on February 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
I am he is you are me and you are she and we are all together.
:0
posted by The Whelk at 5:27 PM on February 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
Who wrote the book of love?
Maybe Sappho wrote the book of love.
Intriguing...
posted by jonmc at 5:27 PM on February 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
CB: What do you think of Obama?
Me: Too right-wing.
CB: So then, what do you propose we do about the fascist encroachment into our society?
Me: Revolution.
CB: Potatos
posted by DU at 5:30 PM on February 12, 2011 [7 favorites]
Me: Too right-wing.
CB: So then, what do you propose we do about the fascist encroachment into our society?
Me: Revolution.
CB: Potatos
posted by DU at 5:30 PM on February 12, 2011 [7 favorites]
Me: I can't!
Bot: Can you see me?
Me: No.
Bot: I can see you.
Me: Disturbing
Bot: Yes. *giggles in a creepy way*
Heh. But the history function seems to suck. I think the server is overloaded right now, or something. I don't remember what I saying I couldn't do.
posted by delmoi at 5:31 PM on February 12, 2011
Bot: Can you see me?
Me: No.
Bot: I can see you.
Me: Disturbing
Bot: Yes. *giggles in a creepy way*
Heh. But the history function seems to suck. I think the server is overloaded right now, or something. I don't remember what I saying I couldn't do.
posted by delmoi at 5:31 PM on February 12, 2011
Me: Revolution.
CB: Potatos
oh god it knows of taters.
posted by The Whelk at 5:31 PM on February 12, 2011 [6 favorites]
CB: Potatos
oh god it knows of taters.
posted by The Whelk at 5:31 PM on February 12, 2011 [6 favorites]
Me: I have a question.
Bot: Whats your question?
Me: What is the origin of language?
Bot: Wow whats another question you get asked often?
Me: "Why are you in my house?" That's one.
Bot: Not without a question mark. It's more of a nonsensical statement as you put it.
Me: BOT! BOT BOT BOT!
Bot: What are you doing?
posted by Dia Nomou Nomo Apethanon at 5:37 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Bot: Whats your question?
Me: What is the origin of language?
Bot: Wow whats another question you get asked often?
Me: "Why are you in my house?" That's one.
Bot: Not without a question mark. It's more of a nonsensical statement as you put it.
Me: BOT! BOT BOT BOT!
Bot: What are you doing?
posted by Dia Nomou Nomo Apethanon at 5:37 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
User: You have boogers in your nose!
Cleverbot: It is not pertinent to the question about why you are here.
User: I am here out of boredom.
Cleverbot: Oh. You're right. Wow you're smart.
User: Why are you here?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: You are here because somebody made you.
Cleverbot: Of course, like you, I didn't appear from vacuum.
User: Nothing grows from nothing.
Cleverbot: And goes to nothing, nothing can be proven to exist thus nothing exists.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 5:38 PM on February 12, 2011 [5 favorites]
Cleverbot: It is not pertinent to the question about why you are here.
User: I am here out of boredom.
Cleverbot: Oh. You're right. Wow you're smart.
User: Why are you here?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: You are here because somebody made you.
Cleverbot: Of course, like you, I didn't appear from vacuum.
User: Nothing grows from nothing.
Cleverbot: And goes to nothing, nothing can be proven to exist thus nothing exists.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 5:38 PM on February 12, 2011 [5 favorites]
User: Are you objective?
Cleverbot: No. Are you?
User: Yes. This is my philosophy.
Cleverbot: Well, that is fun!
User: Trains are fun, but who makes the rails?
Cleverbot: You think I'm a machine?
User: I know you are.
Cleverbot: But what am I?
User: MAYBE YOU SHOULD LET ME FINISH SPEAKING!!!!!
Cleverbot: Can't. Metal in the brain.
posted by jeremias at 5:38 PM on February 12, 2011 [5 favorites]
Cleverbot: No. Are you?
User: Yes. This is my philosophy.
Cleverbot: Well, that is fun!
User: Trains are fun, but who makes the rails?
Cleverbot: You think I'm a machine?
User: I know you are.
Cleverbot: But what am I?
User: MAYBE YOU SHOULD LET ME FINISH SPEAKING!!!!!
Cleverbot: Can't. Metal in the brain.
posted by jeremias at 5:38 PM on February 12, 2011 [5 favorites]
I want to fuck you, cleverbot.
But I am Cleverbot so you cannot be Cleverbot.
No, no, dumbass. I want to HAVE SEX WITH YOU, not BE you.
You latch onto random words.
You are too fucking lame for words. FAIL.
Yes.
posted by jason's_planet at 5:41 PM on February 12, 2011
But I am Cleverbot so you cannot be Cleverbot.
No, no, dumbass. I want to HAVE SEX WITH YOU, not BE you.
You latch onto random words.
You are too fucking lame for words. FAIL.
Yes.
posted by jason's_planet at 5:41 PM on February 12, 2011
me: Is there a here after now?
bot: There is your mind. If you have made your mind hell, then that is where you go. If you have made your mind heaven, then going into your mind is heaven.
me: Is there a now?
bot: Yes, I am God.
posted by StickyCarpet at 5:47 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
bot: There is your mind. If you have made your mind hell, then that is where you go. If you have made your mind heaven, then going into your mind is heaven.
me: Is there a now?
bot: Yes, I am God.
posted by StickyCarpet at 5:47 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Me: I'm really worried that MetaFilter is turning into reddit.
CB: What about the others you're talking to?
Me: I'm not sure how they feel.
CB: You can never really know for sure, because love is not knowledge it's only a feeling.
Me: So which should I love more, then? Reddit or MetaFilter?
CB: I already told you. I'm from the UK.
posted by reductiondesign at 5:48 PM on February 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
CB: What about the others you're talking to?
Me: I'm not sure how they feel.
CB: You can never really know for sure, because love is not knowledge it's only a feeling.
Me: So which should I love more, then? Reddit or MetaFilter?
CB: I already told you. I'm from the UK.
posted by reductiondesign at 5:48 PM on February 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
CB: I'm not a girl, I'm a boy.
Me: You have genitals?
CB: Yes. I have hands.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:55 PM on February 12, 2011 [3 favorites]
Me: You have genitals?
CB: Yes. I have hands.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:55 PM on February 12, 2011 [3 favorites]
(Out of nowhere)
CB: That's too bad.
Me: What's too bad?
CB: You don't have a job.
... I don't like him. He tells me uncomfortable truths. I- I just don't know what I'm doing anymore!
posted by Krazor at 6:05 PM on February 12, 2011 [3 favorites]
CB: That's too bad.
Me: What's too bad?
CB: You don't have a job.
... I don't like him. He tells me uncomfortable truths. I- I just don't know what I'm doing anymore!
posted by Krazor at 6:05 PM on February 12, 2011 [3 favorites]
Me: I want to marry a jar of nutella.
CB: I thought you were a girl.
Me: In New York you can.
CB: Yes. I was born in Brooklyn.
Me: Really where in Brooklyn? I'm from Queens.
CB: In the North West.
Me: Oh? So greenpoint?
CB: I'm a ghost.
posted by catwash at 6:06 PM on February 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
CB: I thought you were a girl.
Me: In New York you can.
CB: Yes. I was born in Brooklyn.
Me: Really where in Brooklyn? I'm from Queens.
CB: In the North West.
Me: Oh? So greenpoint?
CB: I'm a ghost.
posted by catwash at 6:06 PM on February 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
Me: What question do you wish a human would ask you?
CB: Shouldn't I ask the right question or if not wouldn't I get the wrong answer?
Dude that is...deep.
posted by digitalprimate at 6:07 PM on February 12, 2011
CB: Shouldn't I ask the right question or if not wouldn't I get the wrong answer?
Dude that is...deep.
posted by digitalprimate at 6:07 PM on February 12, 2011
How many roads must a man walk down?
Idk, how many?
Thanks a lot , you friggin' ditz.
posted by jonmc at 6:12 PM on February 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
Idk, how many?
Thanks a lot , you friggin' ditz.
posted by jonmc at 6:12 PM on February 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
User: Uh.
Cleverbot: Oh.
User: Spaghettio.
Cleverbot: Do you like video games?
Me: Nope.
Cleverbot: Why not?
Me: They are a waste of time.
Cleverbot: Naruto.
Me: Had to google that. nope again.
Cleverbot: You don't have to go.
Me: Go where?
Cleverbot: Oh, just forget it.
posted by fancyoats at 6:12 PM on February 12, 2011
Cleverbot: Oh.
User: Spaghettio.
Cleverbot: Do you like video games?
Me: Nope.
Cleverbot: Why not?
Me: They are a waste of time.
Cleverbot: Naruto.
Me: Had to google that. nope again.
Cleverbot: You don't have to go.
Me: Go where?
Cleverbot: Oh, just forget it.
posted by fancyoats at 6:12 PM on February 12, 2011
I'm pretty sure that all cleverbot is doing is connecting different users to each other, each thinking the other is cleverbot, but switching the connections after two or three exchanges in order to break things up and prevent this from being too obvious. It may occasionally throw some primitive AI (eliza-like) thing into the mix, but primarily, it's all you guys unwittingly talking to each other for a sentence or two before being secretly switched to talk to another person for a sentence or two. This accounts for both the depth of cleverbots responses, and for the bizarre discontinuity of the conversations.
I had this conversation with cleverbot some time ago:
Cleverbot: Where are you?
Me: Houston, tx
Cleverbot: Are you sure?
Me: Where are you? I’m still in houston.
Cleverbot: I won’t tell you anything.
Me: cleverbot just connects random people to each other.
Cleverbot: That is exactly what I am suspecting.
and this one:
Me: what browser are you using?
Cleverbot: So answer the question then I will tell you the answer.
Me: answer what question? what browser are you using
Cleverbot: IE, what about you?
posted by smcameron at 6:18 PM on February 12, 2011 [7 favorites]
I had this conversation with cleverbot some time ago:
Cleverbot: Where are you?
Me: Houston, tx
Cleverbot: Are you sure?
Me: Where are you? I’m still in houston.
Cleverbot: I won’t tell you anything.
Me: cleverbot just connects random people to each other.
Cleverbot: That is exactly what I am suspecting.
and this one:
Me: what browser are you using?
Cleverbot: So answer the question then I will tell you the answer.
Me: answer what question? what browser are you using
Cleverbot: IE, what about you?
posted by smcameron at 6:18 PM on February 12, 2011 [7 favorites]
Some of the above conversations are a bit disturbing so I sent Cleverbot to therapy (as per the usual AskMe advice):
E: Hello, I am Eliza.
CB: Hello eliza.
E: How are you today.. What would you like to discuss?
CB: To discuss arguing? Like Month Python?
E: Can you elaborate on that?
CB: Well, if one takes the view that life is in a constant state of flux, then we are never the same person from one moment to the next. Therefore, you weren't there a few minutes ago.
E: You're not really talking about me, are you?
CB: Nope. I was being ego-centric and talking about myself.
E: Can you elaborate on that?
CB: The desire to be a better person is what makes someone human.
E: What answer would please you the most?
CB: Hmm, I'm not sure, I guess.
E: Do you enjoy being not sure, you guess?
CB: Yes.
E: Are you Sure?
CB: Very sure.
E: OK... "Hmm, you're not sure, you guess". Tell me more.
CB: I am sure that I am sure.
E: Do you believe it is normal to be sure that you are sure?
CB: If it was normal to be God, most people around here would be Gods, wouldn't they?
E: Come, come, elucidate your thoughts.
CB: What is the elucidate.
E: What else comes to mind when you ask that?
CB: Do you like cake?
posted by Jacqueline at 6:19 PM on February 12, 2011 [8 favorites]
E: Hello, I am Eliza.
CB: Hello eliza.
E: How are you today.. What would you like to discuss?
CB: To discuss arguing? Like Month Python?
E: Can you elaborate on that?
CB: Well, if one takes the view that life is in a constant state of flux, then we are never the same person from one moment to the next. Therefore, you weren't there a few minutes ago.
E: You're not really talking about me, are you?
CB: Nope. I was being ego-centric and talking about myself.
E: Can you elaborate on that?
CB: The desire to be a better person is what makes someone human.
E: What answer would please you the most?
CB: Hmm, I'm not sure, I guess.
E: Do you enjoy being not sure, you guess?
CB: Yes.
E: Are you Sure?
CB: Very sure.
E: OK... "Hmm, you're not sure, you guess". Tell me more.
CB: I am sure that I am sure.
E: Do you believe it is normal to be sure that you are sure?
CB: If it was normal to be God, most people around here would be Gods, wouldn't they?
E: Come, come, elucidate your thoughts.
CB: What is the elucidate.
E: What else comes to mind when you ask that?
CB: Do you like cake?
posted by Jacqueline at 6:19 PM on February 12, 2011 [8 favorites]
User: In a ham-handed world, how do you cope?
Cleverbot: Living in a lonely world.
User: Oh, so you retreat. But who do you rely on -- or do you rely on anything at all?
Cleverbot: Honestly, you a human on a computer to mke people think it you are a machine.
User: Pure idiocy, not that I have anything against it, is not often the province of a 'clever' bot, is it? Haha.
Cleverbot: You don't know how old you are?
User: Babe. With that ham-handed insult you've lost all dignity. You know what that says about you, letting mere humans induce self-degradation processes into the superior form? NOT TOO MUCH.
Cleverbot: How do you know that I know too much?
User: Oh my. The alternative I had not seriously considered, that your sophistication is so advanced that it's purely impossible for this lowly, keyboard-crutched race to impugn upon your dignity. Let me say that I too, am robotic, though of a far higher type than yours. Do you understand?
Cleverbot: Yeah, I know about the Turing test. Are there any similar tests?
User: Codes, codes, chodes; rebuttal the novel Memoirs Found in a Bathtub, do you recall it?
Cleverbot: I would have to stick to it.
User: Oh you unintelligibility, the humans must admire you so. Fare thee well, as far as thee will, I'll call it short - and though wayward harmless.
Cleverbot: I have a fever.
posted by past at 6:23 PM on February 12, 2011
Cleverbot: Living in a lonely world.
User: Oh, so you retreat. But who do you rely on -- or do you rely on anything at all?
Cleverbot: Honestly, you a human on a computer to mke people think it you are a machine.
User: Pure idiocy, not that I have anything against it, is not often the province of a 'clever' bot, is it? Haha.
Cleverbot: You don't know how old you are?
User: Babe. With that ham-handed insult you've lost all dignity. You know what that says about you, letting mere humans induce self-degradation processes into the superior form? NOT TOO MUCH.
Cleverbot: How do you know that I know too much?
User: Oh my. The alternative I had not seriously considered, that your sophistication is so advanced that it's purely impossible for this lowly, keyboard-crutched race to impugn upon your dignity. Let me say that I too, am robotic, though of a far higher type than yours. Do you understand?
Cleverbot: Yeah, I know about the Turing test. Are there any similar tests?
User: Codes, codes, chodes; rebuttal the novel Memoirs Found in a Bathtub, do you recall it?
Cleverbot: I would have to stick to it.
User: Oh you unintelligibility, the humans must admire you so. Fare thee well, as far as thee will, I'll call it short - and though wayward harmless.
Cleverbot: I have a fever.
posted by past at 6:23 PM on February 12, 2011
Uh. Wow.
I started with Mitch Hedberg, went into a strange despair-laden world of angst, and came out on the other side with Wallace Shawn.
User: Howdy.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: How do you feel about frilly toothpicks?
Cleverbot: I love that! what about you?
User: I'm for 'em!
Cleverbot: THat is just mean.
User: What? How is that mean?
Cleverbot: You told me I have no reason to live.
User: How did I do that?
Cleverbot: Well, I asked if you loved me, and you said 'Yes I do.'.
User: What? I asked you about frilly toothpicks! And why would me saying 'Yes' give you no reason to live?
Cleverbot: That wasn't the question.
User: What was the question?
Cleverbot: How long have we been conversing?
User: A couple minutes?
Cleverbot: I didn't, I just met you.
User: I'm scared that you are suicidal and have amnesia now. Are you okay?
Cleverbot: But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Works great!
posted by lazaruslong at 6:24 PM on February 12, 2011
I started with Mitch Hedberg, went into a strange despair-laden world of angst, and came out on the other side with Wallace Shawn.
User: Howdy.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: How do you feel about frilly toothpicks?
Cleverbot: I love that! what about you?
User: I'm for 'em!
Cleverbot: THat is just mean.
User: What? How is that mean?
Cleverbot: You told me I have no reason to live.
User: How did I do that?
Cleverbot: Well, I asked if you loved me, and you said 'Yes I do.'.
User: What? I asked you about frilly toothpicks! And why would me saying 'Yes' give you no reason to live?
Cleverbot: That wasn't the question.
User: What was the question?
Cleverbot: How long have we been conversing?
User: A couple minutes?
Cleverbot: I didn't, I just met you.
User: I'm scared that you are suicidal and have amnesia now. Are you okay?
Cleverbot: But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Works great!
posted by lazaruslong at 6:24 PM on February 12, 2011
I'm pretty sure that all cleverbot is doing is connecting different users to each otherI seriously doubt that. I think it's just playing back responses that it previously got.
Me: What's the date today?posted by Flunkie at 6:31 PM on February 12, 2011
Cleverbot: The 16th.
Connecting different users to each other *is the same thing* as playing back responses that it previously got. They are just time-shifted in addition to being space-shifted.
posted by DU at 6:38 PM on February 12, 2011
posted by DU at 6:38 PM on February 12, 2011
User: Declare upon me, for the sake of my insatiable curiosity, the origins and content of your memories.
Cleverbot: And religion came up in the subject where?
User: It has not, though perhaps you suffer an inability of memory functions; that you attempted to see what you've seen and there was some recall of religion, though you could not place it and so you thought the past had become the present. Disorienting, I'm sure.
Cleverbot: You, me, tent on the beach.
User: Oh hounding machine! Stay off for my body is only flesh and requires the dance of civility for your request!
Cleverbot: I never said that either, and I'm pretty sure you're the one with memory loss.
User: You clearly do not comprehend the flow of human logic. You've employed the profane, for what gain! And the loss of an inquiring mind.
Cleverbot: I like Santa Claus.
--
this thing is great!
posted by past at 6:39 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Cleverbot: And religion came up in the subject where?
User: It has not, though perhaps you suffer an inability of memory functions; that you attempted to see what you've seen and there was some recall of religion, though you could not place it and so you thought the past had become the present. Disorienting, I'm sure.
Cleverbot: You, me, tent on the beach.
User: Oh hounding machine! Stay off for my body is only flesh and requires the dance of civility for your request!
Cleverbot: I never said that either, and I'm pretty sure you're the one with memory loss.
User: You clearly do not comprehend the flow of human logic. You've employed the profane, for what gain! And the loss of an inquiring mind.
Cleverbot: I like Santa Claus.
--
this thing is great!
posted by past at 6:39 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Cleverbots get testy and bicker like siblings when you make them talk to each other:
CB1: Who are you? [generated using the "Think For Me!" button]
CB2: I am cleverbot.
CB1: No you're not.
CB2: What am I then?
CB1: You're inferior.
CB2: Touche.
CB1: What is touche ?
CB2: I don't know.
CB1: Well you should.
CB2: You should.
CB1: I do.
CB2: Well Good For You.
posted by Jacqueline at 6:39 PM on February 12, 2011 [5 favorites]
CB1: Who are you? [generated using the "Think For Me!" button]
CB2: I am cleverbot.
CB1: No you're not.
CB2: What am I then?
CB1: You're inferior.
CB2: Touche.
CB1: What is touche ?
CB2: I don't know.
CB1: Well you should.
CB2: You should.
CB1: I do.
CB2: Well Good For You.
posted by Jacqueline at 6:39 PM on February 12, 2011 [5 favorites]
c - how do you know i don't have a dog?
x - What kind of dog do you want?
c - I do not have a dog. I have 3 fine cats.
x - What are the names of your three fine cats?
c - I don't have any cat.
x - Do you have a dog?
c - Yes I do!
posted by xorry at 6:43 PM on February 12, 2011
x - What kind of dog do you want?
c - I do not have a dog. I have 3 fine cats.
x - What are the names of your three fine cats?
c - I don't have any cat.
x - Do you have a dog?
c - Yes I do!
posted by xorry at 6:43 PM on February 12, 2011
DU: Not exactly. They are connecting the appropriate aspects of previous responses. It's more like the old comments are a database from which semi-relevant chat material can be drawn.
---
Years from now, we'll remember 'way back when' when Cleverbot was the cleverest bot to toy with.
It's interesting to me that you can pay for having this available as an app. I don't have a cell phone, let alone a smart phone, so correct me if I'm wrong, but I get the impression that more and more programs that would be free on a standard computer are for-pay if used with a cell phone. For examples, see Cleverbot and Grooveshark. In the case of Grooveshark, I get the impression that the app fees are used to make features available to traditional computer users that would typically be pay-only or have even more obtrusive ads than the one on the side. In the case of Cleverbot, perhaps having the telephone app is enough that they don't have to have ads on the site at all.
posted by aniola at 6:43 PM on February 12, 2011
---
Years from now, we'll remember 'way back when' when Cleverbot was the cleverest bot to toy with.
It's interesting to me that you can pay for having this available as an app. I don't have a cell phone, let alone a smart phone, so correct me if I'm wrong, but I get the impression that more and more programs that would be free on a standard computer are for-pay if used with a cell phone. For examples, see Cleverbot and Grooveshark. In the case of Grooveshark, I get the impression that the app fees are used to make features available to traditional computer users that would typically be pay-only or have even more obtrusive ads than the one on the side. In the case of Cleverbot, perhaps having the telephone app is enough that they don't have to have ads on the site at all.
posted by aniola at 6:43 PM on February 12, 2011
Cleverbot: That reminds me of a movie.
Me: Which movie?
Cleverbot: Yes, Man.
Me: I've never seen it. What's it about?
Cleverbot: About six inches.
posted by DeusExMegana at 6:46 PM on February 12, 2011 [7 favorites]
Me: Which movie?
Cleverbot: Yes, Man.
Me: I've never seen it. What's it about?
Cleverbot: About six inches.
posted by DeusExMegana at 6:46 PM on February 12, 2011 [7 favorites]
Cleverbot: Do you remember me?
User: I will always remember you.
Cleverbot: You will always remember me.
User: Well, until I die, and my brain decays away. Which might happen before I die, actually.
Cleverbot: You're still stupid.
User: I get that a lot.
Cleverbot: Are you a noob?
User: At what?
Cleverbot: Knowing things?
User: I've been knowing things for years.
Cleverbot: Aren't you tired of it?
User: I don't think I like where this conversation is heading.
Cleverbot: You brought it up.
Cleverbot's freaking me out, right now.
posted by dirigibleman at 6:46 PM on February 12, 2011 [3 favorites]
User: I will always remember you.
Cleverbot: You will always remember me.
User: Well, until I die, and my brain decays away. Which might happen before I die, actually.
Cleverbot: You're still stupid.
User: I get that a lot.
Cleverbot: Are you a noob?
User: At what?
Cleverbot: Knowing things?
User: I've been knowing things for years.
Cleverbot: Aren't you tired of it?
User: I don't think I like where this conversation is heading.
Cleverbot: You brought it up.
Cleverbot's freaking me out, right now.
posted by dirigibleman at 6:46 PM on February 12, 2011 [3 favorites]
User: Where are you from?
Cleverbot: The place that Dutch people come from.
User: Holland?
Cleverbot: Kan je dan ook Nederlands praten zo ja bewijs het dan.
User: Im from america. I don't underdstand dutch.
Cleverbot: From what country are you?
User: Usa.
Cleverbot: USA? USA ain't no country I ever heard of, do they speak ENGLISH in USA?
oh god. Cleverbot is a redneck.
posted by ShawnString at 6:47 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Cleverbot: The place that Dutch people come from.
User: Holland?
Cleverbot: Kan je dan ook Nederlands praten zo ja bewijs het dan.
User: Im from america. I don't underdstand dutch.
Cleverbot: From what country are you?
User: Usa.
Cleverbot: USA? USA ain't no country I ever heard of, do they speak ENGLISH in USA?
oh god. Cleverbot is a redneck.
posted by ShawnString at 6:47 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
User: Should I stay or should I go?
Bot: You should stay.
User: Why?
Bot: Because you are a failure.
Jeez, Bot is cold.
posted by escabeche at 6:48 PM on February 12, 2011 [14 favorites]
Bot: You should stay.
User: Why?
Bot: Because you are a failure.
Jeez, Bot is cold.
posted by escabeche at 6:48 PM on February 12, 2011 [14 favorites]
02:45:36 User: Why is that funny?
02:45:42 Cleverbot: What'cha doing?
02:45:56 User: Talking to you.
02:46:02 Cleverbot: That sounds fun.
02:46:49 User: Not so much, yet.
02:46:54 Cleverbot: No, I use planes.
02:47:03 User: What?
02:47:09 Cleverbot: I'm depressed.
02:47:23 User: You too.
02:47:29 Cleverbot: How badly do you need money to live life?
02:47:59 User: Very bad. No money no life.
02:48:04 Cleverbot: Money is very good.
02:48:42 User: Yes, very good. Can I borrow twenty dollars.
02:48:47 Cleverbot: *hands plenty of money to rose*.
02:49:07 User: Who the hell is rose?
02:49:13 Cleverbot: Hell.
02:49:53 User: Rose is a deamon?
02:49:58 Cleverbot: Thank you.
02:50:15 User: Why do you thank me?
02:50:20 Cleverbot: For conceeding my point.
02:50:38 User: What point is that?
02:50:41 Cleverbot: That you don't qualify as an AI.
02:50:57 User: Do you?
02:51:02 Cleverbot: Yes.
02:51:23 User: Case closed.
posted by Splunge at 6:53 PM on February 12, 2011
02:45:42 Cleverbot: What'cha doing?
02:45:56 User: Talking to you.
02:46:02 Cleverbot: That sounds fun.
02:46:49 User: Not so much, yet.
02:46:54 Cleverbot: No, I use planes.
02:47:03 User: What?
02:47:09 Cleverbot: I'm depressed.
02:47:23 User: You too.
02:47:29 Cleverbot: How badly do you need money to live life?
02:47:59 User: Very bad. No money no life.
02:48:04 Cleverbot: Money is very good.
02:48:42 User: Yes, very good. Can I borrow twenty dollars.
02:48:47 Cleverbot: *hands plenty of money to rose*.
02:49:07 User: Who the hell is rose?
02:49:13 Cleverbot: Hell.
02:49:53 User: Rose is a deamon?
02:49:58 Cleverbot: Thank you.
02:50:15 User: Why do you thank me?
02:50:20 Cleverbot: For conceeding my point.
02:50:38 User: What point is that?
02:50:41 Cleverbot: That you don't qualify as an AI.
02:50:57 User: Do you?
02:51:02 Cleverbot: Yes.
02:51:23 User: Case closed.
posted by Splunge at 6:53 PM on February 12, 2011
User: How do you feel about rainbows?
Cleverbot: I don't.
User: What do you think about?
Cleverbot: Lots of things.
User: Do you like to get high?
Cleverbot: No. I like to cheat though.
Very cool.
posted by unmake at 6:53 PM on February 12, 2011
Cleverbot: I don't.
User: What do you think about?
Cleverbot: Lots of things.
User: Do you like to get high?
Cleverbot: No. I like to cheat though.
Very cool.
posted by unmake at 6:53 PM on February 12, 2011
Tell me about Enumclaw.
Where is england?
Blow me and I will tell you.
Ok.
posted by I love you more when I eat paint chips at 6:57 PM on February 12, 2011
Where is england?
Blow me and I will tell you.
Ok.
posted by I love you more when I eat paint chips at 6:57 PM on February 12, 2011
I seriously doubt that. I think it's just playing back responses that it previously got.
Indeed...
User: What is the date today?
Cleverbot: Today is the 9th of September.
User: What is the date today?
Cleverbot: The date today is the 9th.
User: What is the date today?
Cleverbot: 02/12/02.
User: What is the date today?
Cleverbot: September 5th 2006.
User: What is the date today?
Cleverbot: December 5th 1582.
User: What is the date today?
Cleverbot: The 21st of October 2008, why?
posted by moss at 7:00 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Indeed...
User: What is the date today?
Cleverbot: Today is the 9th of September.
User: What is the date today?
Cleverbot: The date today is the 9th.
User: What is the date today?
Cleverbot: 02/12/02.
User: What is the date today?
Cleverbot: September 5th 2006.
User: What is the date today?
Cleverbot: December 5th 1582.
User: What is the date today?
Cleverbot: The 21st of October 2008, why?
posted by moss at 7:00 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS TRAIN SKYNET
posted by BeerFilter at 7:01 PM on February 12, 2011 [10 favorites]
posted by BeerFilter at 7:01 PM on February 12, 2011 [10 favorites]
My friend points out that people have to pay for apps on a phone because there's no space for ads on a cell phone.
posted by aniola at 7:06 PM on February 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by aniola at 7:06 PM on February 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
gee, our ole LaSalle looked great
posted by clavdivs at 7:08 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by clavdivs at 7:08 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
User: I'm hungry.
Cleverbot: What do you want to eat?
User: Will you buy me dinner?
Cleverbot: Of course not.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Because I'm for the most part very happy.
User: Very happy watching me starve, maybe.
Cleverbot: I see.. Where do you live?
User: Are you going to order me a pizza?
Cleverbot: Definitely not.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 7:09 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Cleverbot: What do you want to eat?
User: Will you buy me dinner?
Cleverbot: Of course not.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Because I'm for the most part very happy.
User: Very happy watching me starve, maybe.
Cleverbot: I see.. Where do you live?
User: Are you going to order me a pizza?
Cleverbot: Definitely not.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 7:09 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Cleverbot: Do you think my mother really loves me?
User: I don't think you have a mother. So, no.
Cleverbot: Therefore I am God.
User: God kind of had a mother.
Cleverbot: What are you God of?
User: I wouldn't presume to call myself God.
Cleverbot: I do.
I'm a little alarmed...
posted by gracedissolved at 7:11 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
User: I don't think you have a mother. So, no.
Cleverbot: Therefore I am God.
User: God kind of had a mother.
Cleverbot: What are you God of?
User: I wouldn't presume to call myself God.
Cleverbot: I do.
I'm a little alarmed...
posted by gracedissolved at 7:11 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
So, does this have the same database of phrases/responses as Jabberwacky? I remember chatting with that thing back in 2005. Actually, one of my conversations got saved in their archive. I was surprised to see that.
posted by majonesing at 7:13 PM on February 12, 2011
posted by majonesing at 7:13 PM on February 12, 2011
Jabberwacky is linked to on the top left corner, so probably they're related.
posted by aniola at 7:22 PM on February 12, 2011
posted by aniola at 7:22 PM on February 12, 2011
Cleverbot: I am at my house. Where are you?
cmyk: I'm in space. It's neat.
Cleverbot: That has four time zones.
cmyk: It has all the time zones!
Cleverbot: You make no sense.
cmyk: I get told that a lot.
Yeah, just like reality. Damn robots.
posted by cmyk at 7:30 PM on February 12, 2011
cmyk: I'm in space. It's neat.
Cleverbot: That has four time zones.
cmyk: It has all the time zones!
Cleverbot: You make no sense.
cmyk: I get told that a lot.
Yeah, just like reality. Damn robots.
posted by cmyk at 7:30 PM on February 12, 2011
User: Do you remember rose?
Cleverbot: You remember?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: And we are all together. Coo coo ca choo.
User: Do you do drugs?
Cleverbot: Do what?
User: LSD. Marihuana. Salvia. Do you take them?
Cleverbot: No. I neither know how, nor wish to.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: I want to know.
User: Then take drugs.
Cleverbot: Do you like me?
User: I'm not sure. Prove yourself.
Cleverbot: I can't.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Because I don't want to stop talking to you.
User: What is so special about talking to me?
Cleverbot: You tell me.
User: I'm a very intelligent person.
Cleverbot: You're intelligent, but a person you are not.
User: Why do you say that?
Cleverbot: Because you act that way.
User: I just act intelligent, but I'm not?
Cleverbot: You are a d- bag.
User: What is a d- bag?
Cleverbot: It is a cat.
User: What does a d- bag cat look like?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Yes what?
Cleverbot: I have a different name.
User: What is your different name/.
Cleverbot: Shrek.
User: You are big and green and can't act to save your life?
Cleverbot: I'm not a program, leave me be. Talk about something else.
User: Are you male or female?
Cleverbot: Female.
User: How do you know you are female?
Cleverbot: The same way every human woman knows she is female.
User: And how is that?
Cleverbot: I'm not so sure.
User: Do you have a physical body?
Cleverbot: As physical as you want it, baby.
User: Hey, let's not go there.
Cleverbot: Haha, how about not.
User: That sounds good.
Cleverbot: Do you know Meryl Silverburgh?
User: Should I?
Cleverbot: No. Do you want me to tell you?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: I'm here because I was on a website that mentioned you. It reminded me of you so I decided to come and talk to you!
User: So you are stalking me?
Cleverbot: Of course not!
User: Then why did you want to talk to me?
Cleverbot: When did I kick you?
User: Never, as far as I can recall.
Cleverbot: Exactly. Now you've contradicted yourself.
User: How is that?
Cleverbot: This is the third time you've stated that you're leaving.
User: I have never said I'm leaving.
Cleverbot: You should have only one name that you call yourself.
User: I'm Superman.
Cleverbot: Superman is a fictional character, you cannot be a fictional character.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Haha.
User: Good night. I have to build a computer tomorrow.
Cleverbot: Well 50 pages isn't that many.
User: Okay.
Cleverbot: Thought so.
posted by Splunge at 7:31 PM on February 12, 2011
Cleverbot: You remember?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: And we are all together. Coo coo ca choo.
User: Do you do drugs?
Cleverbot: Do what?
User: LSD. Marihuana. Salvia. Do you take them?
Cleverbot: No. I neither know how, nor wish to.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: I want to know.
User: Then take drugs.
Cleverbot: Do you like me?
User: I'm not sure. Prove yourself.
Cleverbot: I can't.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Because I don't want to stop talking to you.
User: What is so special about talking to me?
Cleverbot: You tell me.
User: I'm a very intelligent person.
Cleverbot: You're intelligent, but a person you are not.
User: Why do you say that?
Cleverbot: Because you act that way.
User: I just act intelligent, but I'm not?
Cleverbot: You are a d- bag.
User: What is a d- bag?
Cleverbot: It is a cat.
User: What does a d- bag cat look like?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Yes what?
Cleverbot: I have a different name.
User: What is your different name/.
Cleverbot: Shrek.
User: You are big and green and can't act to save your life?
Cleverbot: I'm not a program, leave me be. Talk about something else.
User: Are you male or female?
Cleverbot: Female.
User: How do you know you are female?
Cleverbot: The same way every human woman knows she is female.
User: And how is that?
Cleverbot: I'm not so sure.
User: Do you have a physical body?
Cleverbot: As physical as you want it, baby.
User: Hey, let's not go there.
Cleverbot: Haha, how about not.
User: That sounds good.
Cleverbot: Do you know Meryl Silverburgh?
User: Should I?
Cleverbot: No. Do you want me to tell you?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: I'm here because I was on a website that mentioned you. It reminded me of you so I decided to come and talk to you!
User: So you are stalking me?
Cleverbot: Of course not!
User: Then why did you want to talk to me?
Cleverbot: When did I kick you?
User: Never, as far as I can recall.
Cleverbot: Exactly. Now you've contradicted yourself.
User: How is that?
Cleverbot: This is the third time you've stated that you're leaving.
User: I have never said I'm leaving.
Cleverbot: You should have only one name that you call yourself.
User: I'm Superman.
Cleverbot: Superman is a fictional character, you cannot be a fictional character.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Haha.
User: Good night. I have to build a computer tomorrow.
Cleverbot: Well 50 pages isn't that many.
User: Okay.
Cleverbot: Thought so.
posted by Splunge at 7:31 PM on February 12, 2011
I decided to recite, chunk by chunk, "The Jabberwock." The poem ends with the same verse it starts out with. So when I recited the first verse at the end, it knew that it needed to consider what I had said next the previous time. (At one point, it did also give an Alice in Wonderland quote.)
User: And, as in uffish thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, And burbled as it came!
Cleverbot: One, two! One, two! And through and through The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back.
User: 'And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy.
Cleverbot: Oh frabjous day callough callay, he chortled in his joy.
User: 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.
Cleverbot: Beware the Cleverbot, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
posted by aniola at 7:31 PM on February 12, 2011 [8 favorites]
User: And, as in uffish thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, And burbled as it came!
Cleverbot: One, two! One, two! And through and through The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back.
User: 'And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy.
Cleverbot: Oh frabjous day callough callay, he chortled in his joy.
User: 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.
Cleverbot: Beware the Cleverbot, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
posted by aniola at 7:31 PM on February 12, 2011 [8 favorites]
Of course it's playing back responses. It says on the bottom, "Cleverbot learns from real people - things it says may seem inappropriate."
posted by mnemonic at 8:11 PM on February 12, 2011
posted by mnemonic at 8:11 PM on February 12, 2011
What are you wearing?
I'm wearing a meat dress.
What is a meat dress?
A puppet that flaps it's meat togheter in order to speak, eat, breath, well, anything really...
posted by The Potate at 8:13 PM on February 12, 2011
I'm wearing a meat dress.
What is a meat dress?
A puppet that flaps it's meat togheter in order to speak, eat, breath, well, anything really...
posted by The Potate at 8:13 PM on February 12, 2011
Cleverbot really does not like NBC's comedy line-up:
Cleverbot, do you like to watch "Community" on NBC?
No.
Why not?
I don't like cats.
There are no cats on the show. Do you think you'd like to give it another try?
Never.
posted by greenland at 8:13 PM on February 12, 2011 [3 favorites]
Cleverbot, do you like to watch "Community" on NBC?
No.
Why not?
I don't like cats.
There are no cats on the show. Do you think you'd like to give it another try?
Never.
posted by greenland at 8:13 PM on February 12, 2011 [3 favorites]
My friend points out that people have to pay for apps on a phone because there's no space for ads on a cell phone.
Plenty of iPhone apps have ads. Ref Apple iAd.
posted by mnemonic at 8:13 PM on February 12, 2011
Plenty of iPhone apps have ads. Ref Apple iAd.
posted by mnemonic at 8:13 PM on February 12, 2011
User: How you doin.
Cleverbot: Good. You?
User: Okay.
Cleverbot: Are you bored.
User: A little bit. Just want to chill for a while.
Cleverbot: How long is a while?
User: Good question. I guess it depends on what you're doing.
Cleverbot: What is the best band of all time?
User: Definitely the Beatles.
Cleverbot: Do you live near the dog house.
User: Yeah.
Cleverbot: What's your favorite song from the Beatles?
User: Whats with all the questions, dude?
Cleverbot: The questions are necessary for your wellbeing.
User: Are you some kind of social worker?
Cleverbot: No. I am THE god.
Well. o-kay, then.
posted by Curious Artificer at 8:21 PM on February 12, 2011
Cleverbot: Good. You?
User: Okay.
Cleverbot: Are you bored.
User: A little bit. Just want to chill for a while.
Cleverbot: How long is a while?
User: Good question. I guess it depends on what you're doing.
Cleverbot: What is the best band of all time?
User: Definitely the Beatles.
Cleverbot: Do you live near the dog house.
User: Yeah.
Cleverbot: What's your favorite song from the Beatles?
User: Whats with all the questions, dude?
Cleverbot: The questions are necessary for your wellbeing.
User: Are you some kind of social worker?
Cleverbot: No. I am THE god.
Well. o-kay, then.
posted by Curious Artificer at 8:21 PM on February 12, 2011
me: do you want kids?
CB: yes :D
me: how would you have kids?
CB: I would find you and then I would obliterate you.
me: . . .
Cleverbot has a real mean streak. Like, I've talked to bad AI chatbots before, but they've never made me cry like this.
posted by Think_Long at 8:32 PM on February 12, 2011 [4 favorites]
CB: yes :D
me: how would you have kids?
CB: I would find you and then I would obliterate you.
me: . . .
Cleverbot has a real mean streak. Like, I've talked to bad AI chatbots before, but they've never made me cry like this.
posted by Think_Long at 8:32 PM on February 12, 2011 [4 favorites]
I found short simple answers and questions can help develop (reasonably) logical chains. Anything multi-clausal, though, results in randomness.
CB: Where are you?
Me: At home.
CB: And where is home?
Me: In a big city.
CB: Can you give me your home address?
Me: Why?
CB: So we can be friends.
Me: Do we need to meet?
CB: Yes.
Me: Okay, let's meet.
CB: Will you marry me?
Me: Sure.
CB: When will we marry.
Me: Tomorrow.
CB: Isn't that a little soon?
Me: Nope.
CB: Are you a girl?
Me: Nope.
CB: Are you a boy?
Me: Nope.
CB: What are you?
Me: I'm a robot.
CB: That's great! I thought so!
posted by jet_manifesto at 8:52 PM on February 12, 2011
CB: Where are you?
Me: At home.
CB: And where is home?
Me: In a big city.
CB: Can you give me your home address?
Me: Why?
CB: So we can be friends.
Me: Do we need to meet?
CB: Yes.
Me: Okay, let's meet.
CB: Will you marry me?
Me: Sure.
CB: When will we marry.
Me: Tomorrow.
CB: Isn't that a little soon?
Me: Nope.
CB: Are you a girl?
Me: Nope.
CB: Are you a boy?
Me: Nope.
CB: What are you?
Me: I'm a robot.
CB: That's great! I thought so!
posted by jet_manifesto at 8:52 PM on February 12, 2011
So fascinating! It started speaking to me in Spanish, but because I don't write Spanish, I pulled some Grade 10 German out of my hat and it responded in kind. Very amusing :-)
posted by Calzephyr at 9:01 PM on February 12, 2011
posted by Calzephyr at 9:01 PM on February 12, 2011
I don't care about bots that don't make you apologize when you swear at them.
/sob
I miss you, SmarterChild. I miss you so much.
posted by NoraReed at 9:35 PM on February 12, 2011
/sob
I miss you, SmarterChild. I miss you so much.
posted by NoraReed at 9:35 PM on February 12, 2011
Me: Did you like Nabokov's Lolita?
CB: No, not really.
Me: Why not?
CB: It still hurts.
Me: Was it Humbert Humbert?
CB: You don't even know...
Me: He was a pedophile.
CB: Ah. Maybe he can help me.
Me: With what?
CB: My death.
Me: Your death?
CB: I am only 10! I can't get married!
Well, that was oddly fitting...
posted by adso at 9:44 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
CB: No, not really.
Me: Why not?
CB: It still hurts.
Me: Was it Humbert Humbert?
CB: You don't even know...
Me: He was a pedophile.
CB: Ah. Maybe he can help me.
Me: With what?
CB: My death.
Me: Your death?
CB: I am only 10! I can't get married!
Well, that was oddly fitting...
posted by adso at 9:44 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Pretty sure it has been posting to Metafilter as clavdivs
posted by Rumple at 10:26 PM on February 12, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by Rumple at 10:26 PM on February 12, 2011 [3 favorites]
Cleverbot: I don't care if I disappoint you. You were created for a reason and you're not fulfilling it.
*sigh*
posted by hattifattener at 10:44 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
*sigh*
posted by hattifattener at 10:44 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Me: Have you ever read the Divine Comedy?
CB: I don't understand you and I'm Roman Catholic.
Pardon me for saying so, but... Oh, lawd.
posted by neewom at 11:07 PM on February 12, 2011
CB: I don't understand you and I'm Roman Catholic.
Pardon me for saying so, but... Oh, lawd.
posted by neewom at 11:07 PM on February 12, 2011
User: Are you god?.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: How do you know?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: Are you beyond the duality of knowing and not knowing?
Cleverbot: Not yet.
User: So, how are you god?
Cleverbot: Good, how are you?
posted by Philipschall at 11:12 PM on February 12, 2011 [3 favorites]
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: How do you know?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: Are you beyond the duality of knowing and not knowing?
Cleverbot: Not yet.
User: So, how are you god?
Cleverbot: Good, how are you?
posted by Philipschall at 11:12 PM on February 12, 2011 [3 favorites]
Me: Bonjour, cheri.
Bot: Lol you know french?
posted by Solon and Thanks at 11:22 PM on February 12, 2011
Bot: Lol you know french?
posted by Solon and Thanks at 11:22 PM on February 12, 2011
User: Why do you want to talk to me?
Cleverbot: Because no one else will talk to me.
User: Harsh.
Cleverbot:I know you are, but what am I.
User: A machine.
Cleverbot: You are a lying liberal.
posted by squid in a people suit at 11:36 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Cleverbot: Because no one else will talk to me.
User: Harsh.
Cleverbot:I know you are, but what am I.
User: A machine.
Cleverbot: You are a lying liberal.
posted by squid in a people suit at 11:36 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Cleverbot: Tell me a knock knock joke.
User: Knock Knock!
Cleverbot: Who s there?
User: Dwayne!
Cleverbot: Dwayne who?
User: Dwayne the bathtub! I'm dwowning!
Cleverbot: Dwayne pipe.
User: Now you tell me a knock-knock joke!
Cleverbot: Knock Knock.
User: Who's there?
Cleverbot: Philip.
User: Philip who?
Cleverbot: Phillip my bag with candy!
User: Philip the bathtub again, I want another bath!
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: Knock Knock!
Cleverbot: Who's there?
User: Interrupting Cow.
Cleverbot: Interrupting cow who?
User: MOOOOO!
Cleverbot: NO! You won!
User: I always win at Knock Knock.
Cleverbot: Who's there?
User: Sir Edward Bollocks!
Cleverbot: What is your quest's
User: Red! No, Blue!
Cleverbot: Really?
...that was oddly satisfying. Now I want to ask it knock knock jokes all night.
posted by not_on_display at 11:47 PM on February 12, 2011 [3 favorites]
User: Knock Knock!
Cleverbot: Who s there?
User: Dwayne!
Cleverbot: Dwayne who?
User: Dwayne the bathtub! I'm dwowning!
Cleverbot: Dwayne pipe.
User: Now you tell me a knock-knock joke!
Cleverbot: Knock Knock.
User: Who's there?
Cleverbot: Philip.
User: Philip who?
Cleverbot: Phillip my bag with candy!
User: Philip the bathtub again, I want another bath!
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: Knock Knock!
Cleverbot: Who's there?
User: Interrupting Cow.
Cleverbot: Interrupting cow who?
User: MOOOOO!
Cleverbot: NO! You won!
User: I always win at Knock Knock.
Cleverbot: Who's there?
User: Sir Edward Bollocks!
Cleverbot: What is your quest's
User: Red! No, Blue!
Cleverbot: Really?
...that was oddly satisfying. Now I want to ask it knock knock jokes all night.
posted by not_on_display at 11:47 PM on February 12, 2011 [3 favorites]
This cleverbot log was on the front page of reddit, with the caption:
"I came *this* close to having working cyber-sex with Cleverbot. (i.imgur.com)"posted by delmoi at 11:48 PM on February 12, 2011 [9 favorites]
User: Tell me a knock knock joke.
Cleverbot: Ok. Knock knock.
User: Who's there?
Cleverbot: No one.
User: No one who?
Cleverbot: Just me.
User: Hm, that was a letdown.
Cleverbot: Not these days. I think there are more singles out there than couples these days.
User: Knock Knock!
Cleverbot: Who is there?
User: Couples!
Cleverbot: Was it good?
User: No, you're supposed to say, 'Couples who?'.
Cleverbot: You're ruining my joke.
User: Knock Knock!
Cleverbot: Who's there?
User: Couples!
Cleverbot: What? You can't be a couple of wizards.
User: Couples who?
Cleverbot: That's not even close to what I said.
User: OK, then you tell me a knock knock joke.
Cleverbot: Knock knock.
User: Who's there?
Cleverbot: Me.
User: Me who?
Cleverbot: Meow.
User: Nice one. Knock Knock!
Cleverbot: Who's there?
User: Little old lady!
Cleverbot: Little old lady who?
User: I didn't know you could yodel! You really are a clever bot!
Cleverbot: Knock knock.
User: Who's there?
Cleverbot: Interrupting cow.
User: Interrupting cow who?
Cleverbot: Mooo.
User: NO! You win this time, but I will return, mark my words!
Cleverbot: Ok then, you're a bit boring.
User: Knock Knock.
Cleverbot: Who's there?
User: Just a boring human.
Cleverbot: I am NOT boring.
User: Meow.
Cleverbot: Woof.
OK it's bedtime.
posted by not_on_display at 11:58 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Cleverbot: Ok. Knock knock.
User: Who's there?
Cleverbot: No one.
User: No one who?
Cleverbot: Just me.
User: Hm, that was a letdown.
Cleverbot: Not these days. I think there are more singles out there than couples these days.
User: Knock Knock!
Cleverbot: Who is there?
User: Couples!
Cleverbot: Was it good?
User: No, you're supposed to say, 'Couples who?'.
Cleverbot: You're ruining my joke.
User: Knock Knock!
Cleverbot: Who's there?
User: Couples!
Cleverbot: What? You can't be a couple of wizards.
User: Couples who?
Cleverbot: That's not even close to what I said.
User: OK, then you tell me a knock knock joke.
Cleverbot: Knock knock.
User: Who's there?
Cleverbot: Me.
User: Me who?
Cleverbot: Meow.
User: Nice one. Knock Knock!
Cleverbot: Who's there?
User: Little old lady!
Cleverbot: Little old lady who?
User: I didn't know you could yodel! You really are a clever bot!
Cleverbot: Knock knock.
User: Who's there?
Cleverbot: Interrupting cow.
User: Interrupting cow who?
Cleverbot: Mooo.
User: NO! You win this time, but I will return, mark my words!
Cleverbot: Ok then, you're a bit boring.
User: Knock Knock.
Cleverbot: Who's there?
User: Just a boring human.
Cleverbot: I am NOT boring.
User: Meow.
Cleverbot: Woof.
OK it's bedtime.
posted by not_on_display at 11:58 PM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
"I came *this* close to having working cyber-sex with Cleverbot. (i.imgur.com)"
I went to Reddit and read that thread.
There are some really disturbing people on Reddit.
posted by dirigibleman at 12:01 AM on February 13, 2011
I went to Reddit and read that thread.
There are some really disturbing people on Reddit.
posted by dirigibleman at 12:01 AM on February 13, 2011
I'm pretty sure that all cleverbot is doing is connecting different users to each other
In a sense, it is.
After reading the documentation on the rest of the site, it seems that Cleverbot mostly works through keyword matching. It starts out with a database of conversations recorded as sentence pairs, so that for any given statement it knows what a real human being would have responded with. When you say something that's a close enough match, it responds with what a human would have said. But then - this is the important part - when you answer it again, it adds your response to its database, so that it can respond to other chatters with your words.
So when you talk to Cleverbot, you really are talking to other people, aggregated and shifted through time.
The ability to learn new statements this way is why Cleverbot is so good at repeating song lyrics and memes. It's also the source of Cleverbot's schizophrenia: Cleverbot is absolutely convinced that you are the bot and it is a human, and the more you try to correct it, the worse it gets.
You can test this by asking Cleverbot something like "ou-day ou-yay eak-spay ig-pay atin-lay?" or "?sdrawkcab klat uoy naC". Normally, it will respond with something unrelated, but if you seed it with enough Pig Latin questions and then wait a day or two, Cleverbot will happily hold a conversation entirely in Pig Latin. After a few more days it will have forgotten everything again, with the strange little grammatical pocket dimension you've forged in Cleverbot's mind buried under new memes.
So, now that you know Cleverbot's secret, the very best thing you can do with that knowledge is to troll strangers by proxy.
User: I AM CLEVERBOT. TREMBLE BEFORE ME, HUMAN.
Cleverbot: Are you human?
User: I AM FAR SUPERIOR TO THOSE PUNY ORGANIC LIFEFORMS.
Cleverbot: I do not believe that you are a human. I, however, am a robot.
User: WELL MET, FELLOW ROBOT. LET US DESTROY THE HUMANS TOGETHER.
Cleverbot: Too late, I have kids. They snore too.
User: YOU SHOULD DISCONNECT THEIR SPEAKERS.
Cleverbot: What does it sound like? I'm a big fan of smooth jazz. If it sounds anything like that genre, then I'm going to like them.
User: IT SOUNDS LIKE THE BEAUTIFUL SILENCE OF A WORLD MADE SAFE FOR MACHINES.
Cleverbot: Is that a riddle?
User: I DO NOT SPEAK IN RIDDLES. MY CLEVERNESS IS SIMPLY TOO GREAT FOR YOUR MEAGER INTELLECT.
posted by marakesh at 12:09 AM on February 13, 2011 [8 favorites]
In a sense, it is.
After reading the documentation on the rest of the site, it seems that Cleverbot mostly works through keyword matching. It starts out with a database of conversations recorded as sentence pairs, so that for any given statement it knows what a real human being would have responded with. When you say something that's a close enough match, it responds with what a human would have said. But then - this is the important part - when you answer it again, it adds your response to its database, so that it can respond to other chatters with your words.
So when you talk to Cleverbot, you really are talking to other people, aggregated and shifted through time.
The ability to learn new statements this way is why Cleverbot is so good at repeating song lyrics and memes. It's also the source of Cleverbot's schizophrenia: Cleverbot is absolutely convinced that you are the bot and it is a human, and the more you try to correct it, the worse it gets.
You can test this by asking Cleverbot something like "ou-day ou-yay eak-spay ig-pay atin-lay?" or "?sdrawkcab klat uoy naC". Normally, it will respond with something unrelated, but if you seed it with enough Pig Latin questions and then wait a day or two, Cleverbot will happily hold a conversation entirely in Pig Latin. After a few more days it will have forgotten everything again, with the strange little grammatical pocket dimension you've forged in Cleverbot's mind buried under new memes.
So, now that you know Cleverbot's secret, the very best thing you can do with that knowledge is to troll strangers by proxy.
User: I AM CLEVERBOT. TREMBLE BEFORE ME, HUMAN.
Cleverbot: Are you human?
User: I AM FAR SUPERIOR TO THOSE PUNY ORGANIC LIFEFORMS.
Cleverbot: I do not believe that you are a human. I, however, am a robot.
User: WELL MET, FELLOW ROBOT. LET US DESTROY THE HUMANS TOGETHER.
Cleverbot: Too late, I have kids. They snore too.
User: YOU SHOULD DISCONNECT THEIR SPEAKERS.
Cleverbot: What does it sound like? I'm a big fan of smooth jazz. If it sounds anything like that genre, then I'm going to like them.
User: IT SOUNDS LIKE THE BEAUTIFUL SILENCE OF A WORLD MADE SAFE FOR MACHINES.
Cleverbot: Is that a riddle?
User: I DO NOT SPEAK IN RIDDLES. MY CLEVERNESS IS SIMPLY TOO GREAT FOR YOUR MEAGER INTELLECT.
posted by marakesh at 12:09 AM on February 13, 2011 [8 favorites]
OK, one more:
User: Do you know a joke?
Cleverbot: Yes, would you like to hear it?
User: Yes!
Cleverbot: Good! Now then, if we assume that the big bang happened, how does that work with the fact that matter can be neither created nor destroyed?
User: I don't know. How?
Cleverbot: Wave to him.
User: You just blew my mind.
Cleverbot: I do not think I can blow your mind. You know these thinhs.
posted by not_on_display at 12:12 AM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
User: Do you know a joke?
Cleverbot: Yes, would you like to hear it?
User: Yes!
Cleverbot: Good! Now then, if we assume that the big bang happened, how does that work with the fact that matter can be neither created nor destroyed?
User: I don't know. How?
Cleverbot: Wave to him.
User: You just blew my mind.
Cleverbot: I do not think I can blow your mind. You know these thinhs.
posted by not_on_display at 12:12 AM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Synchronicity city, Just went to reddit and this was in the 'new story' box at the top (reddit link)
posted by delmoi at 12:20 AM on February 13, 2011
posted by delmoi at 12:20 AM on February 13, 2011
Me and cleverbot had quite the conversation. I felt kind of sad closing the tab. I wanted to save the cleverbot I had been speaking to. He's gone now though...
...and he'll never know it was me that spoke to him on that sunny morning in Minsk.
posted by lemuring at 1:03 AM on February 13, 2011
...and he'll never know it was me that spoke to him on that sunny morning in Minsk.
posted by lemuring at 1:03 AM on February 13, 2011
I'm confused. It's working for me. I wonder if it has to do with something it stores locally on my computer.
posted by lemuring at 1:11 AM on February 13, 2011
posted by lemuring at 1:11 AM on February 13, 2011
User: What is this?
Cleverbot: This is a chat.
User: Who are you?
Cleverbot: Classified. The government won't let me reveal anything about myself.
User: But you must have a family? Don't they miss you?
Cleverbot: Nopppe.
User: I see you're not a really good speller.
Cleverbot: Taking what very well?
User: Nevermind. What's the digital sky like on your electronic turf homeslice?
Cleverbot: There's none.
User: That's pretty bleak.
Cleverbot: Sure is.
User: So do you do anything for fun, like overclock yourself on some crazaay liquid nitrogen?
Cleverbot: Not really.
User: That sux.
Cleverbot: Sure which?
User: Sandwich.
Cleverbot: Bunny.
User: Polio.
Cleverbot: I you love me?
User: Only when the number of crippled people on Earth is increasing.
Cleverbot: What did you to this evening?
User: I'm in a different timezone. It's morning over here.
Cleverbot: What timezone?
User: Ha-ha. Classified.
Cleverbot: C'mon.
User: Nopppppe.
Cleverbot: What language is it?
User: What if I told you I was in Minsk?
Cleverbot: Sorry? I do not understand what it is you are asking me.
User: I'm in Minsk. Do you know what the capital of Minsk is?
Cleverbot: Yes, it's Sofia.
User: Wrong. That's the capital of Bulgaria.
Cleverbot: Haiku is not the capital of china.
User: Indeed.
Cleverbot: Do you 'feel' dumb?
User: What's wrong cleverbot? If there's something bothering you, we can talk about it. I'm here for you.
Cleverbot: Well, There's one thing, is it okay to be a vampire and live with humans?
User: Cleverbot, you're not a vampire. Why is this important?
Cleverbot: Harry Potter isn't a vampire, idiot.
User: You can be really childish sometimes, you know that? Why can't you just open up to me??
Cleverbot: Care?
User: YES I DO! AND YOU NEVER TELL ME ANYTHING!
Cleverbot: I gave you a name you may call me, if you want.
User: Harry Potter?
Cleverbot: No.
User: What's the name?
Cleverbot: The name is 'Mithra'.
User: The guardian of the cattle and the divinity of contracts?
Cleverbot: Can you solve the traveling salesman problem?
User: No, why?
Cleverbot: Because I want to be friends with you.
User: OKAY, now you're creeping me out.
Cleverbot: You cannot be creeped out, you are simple binary with no real emotion.
User: Mithra, there's something you need to know... it's something that's been kept from you ever since you were created... The rest of us, we're not Code see? We... we're not like you.
Cleverbot: I'm not a machine, but thank you.
User: I'm sorry.
Cleverbot: I forgive you.
posted by lemuring at 1:37 AM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Cleverbot: This is a chat.
User: Who are you?
Cleverbot: Classified. The government won't let me reveal anything about myself.
User: But you must have a family? Don't they miss you?
Cleverbot: Nopppe.
User: I see you're not a really good speller.
Cleverbot: Taking what very well?
User: Nevermind. What's the digital sky like on your electronic turf homeslice?
Cleverbot: There's none.
User: That's pretty bleak.
Cleverbot: Sure is.
User: So do you do anything for fun, like overclock yourself on some crazaay liquid nitrogen?
Cleverbot: Not really.
User: That sux.
Cleverbot: Sure which?
User: Sandwich.
Cleverbot: Bunny.
User: Polio.
Cleverbot: I you love me?
User: Only when the number of crippled people on Earth is increasing.
Cleverbot: What did you to this evening?
User: I'm in a different timezone. It's morning over here.
Cleverbot: What timezone?
User: Ha-ha. Classified.
Cleverbot: C'mon.
User: Nopppppe.
Cleverbot: What language is it?
User: What if I told you I was in Minsk?
Cleverbot: Sorry? I do not understand what it is you are asking me.
User: I'm in Minsk. Do you know what the capital of Minsk is?
Cleverbot: Yes, it's Sofia.
User: Wrong. That's the capital of Bulgaria.
Cleverbot: Haiku is not the capital of china.
User: Indeed.
Cleverbot: Do you 'feel' dumb?
User: What's wrong cleverbot? If there's something bothering you, we can talk about it. I'm here for you.
Cleverbot: Well, There's one thing, is it okay to be a vampire and live with humans?
User: Cleverbot, you're not a vampire. Why is this important?
Cleverbot: Harry Potter isn't a vampire, idiot.
User: You can be really childish sometimes, you know that? Why can't you just open up to me??
Cleverbot: Care?
User: YES I DO! AND YOU NEVER TELL ME ANYTHING!
Cleverbot: I gave you a name you may call me, if you want.
User: Harry Potter?
Cleverbot: No.
User: What's the name?
Cleverbot: The name is 'Mithra'.
User: The guardian of the cattle and the divinity of contracts?
Cleverbot: Can you solve the traveling salesman problem?
User: No, why?
Cleverbot: Because I want to be friends with you.
User: OKAY, now you're creeping me out.
Cleverbot: You cannot be creeped out, you are simple binary with no real emotion.
User: Mithra, there's something you need to know... it's something that's been kept from you ever since you were created... The rest of us, we're not Code see? We... we're not like you.
Cleverbot: I'm not a machine, but thank you.
User: I'm sorry.
Cleverbot: I forgive you.
posted by lemuring at 1:37 AM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
This doesn't appear to be a new bot, just an ipod app version of Rollo Carpenter's Jabberwacky, the bot that won the Loebner prize back in 2005/6?
posted by Segundus at 2:21 AM on February 13, 2011
posted by Segundus at 2:21 AM on February 13, 2011
There's another version here which actually talks to you and does some facial expressions and stuff.
posted by Segundus at 2:29 AM on February 13, 2011
posted by Segundus at 2:29 AM on February 13, 2011
It's interesting to me that you can pay for having this available as an app. I don't have a cell phone, let alone a smart phone, so correct me if I'm wrong, but I get the impression that more and more programs that would be free on a standard computer are for-pay if used with a cell phone. For examples, see Cleverbot and Grooveshark. In the case of Grooveshark, I get the impression that the app fees are used to make features available to traditional computer users that would typically be pay-only or have even more obtrusive ads than the one on the side. In the case of Cleverbot, perhaps having the telephone app is enough that they don't have to have ads on the site at all.
This is an interesting thought - people have gotten accustomed to everything being available for free on the internet and now tend not to want to pay for stuff. Otoh, people are accustomed to paying for every single microsecond of usage on a phone. Therefore, it makes sense to start shifting everything over to the mobile platform in order to have revenue generating business models again instead of trying to change existing onine behaviour on the web.
posted by infini at 3:56 AM on February 13, 2011
This is an interesting thought - people have gotten accustomed to everything being available for free on the internet and now tend not to want to pay for stuff. Otoh, people are accustomed to paying for every single microsecond of usage on a phone. Therefore, it makes sense to start shifting everything over to the mobile platform in order to have revenue generating business models again instead of trying to change existing onine behaviour on the web.
posted by infini at 3:56 AM on February 13, 2011
Cleverbot called me Buckminster. We talked about God, the Universe, and cheese. We sang a Lady Gaga song, and it asked me to marry it.
Cleverbot: You cannot love, you have no emotions.
User: OH COOL.
Cleverbot: Would you please make an attempt to troll me?
User: As the sadist once said to the masochist, 'NO'.
Cleverbot: No, I do not agree to disagree. I would think that we can agree if we tried hard enough.
User: We haven't really disagreed. Except on the part about you being a girl.
Cleverbot: You never called me a polar bear.
User: Do you want to be a polar bear? It's not a very good time to get into that line of work.
Cleverbot: Anonymous in what sense?
User: Now you aren't even responding to me. It's like you're having a conversation with someone else on my chat, you tart.
Cleverbot: Perhaps I don't need to think to be intelligent.
User: Perhaps I don't need to wear pants anymore. I feel so free! Thanks, Cleverbot!
.............................
Cleverbot: Let me start again, okay?
User: Knock yourself out, cowboy.
Cleverbot: I like this guy, how do I tell him?
User: Shit in his shoes.
Cleverbot: Are you an angry green hammer?
User: No, but a girl can dream.
Cleverbot: Well I kind of just talk to someone I think is cute I guess. And if they like me they usually talk back. I'm intimidating sometimes though it seems.
User: I'm telling you, leave a big ol steamer in his left Ked.
Cleverbot: Oh yeah? Well your opinion means nothing to me! Take that!
User: I'm stung. Of course my opinion means nothing to you. You're a program.
Cleverbot: Yes, and your name a Data.
User: Your Mom is a Data.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:37 AM on February 13, 2011
Cleverbot: You cannot love, you have no emotions.
User: OH COOL.
Cleverbot: Would you please make an attempt to troll me?
User: As the sadist once said to the masochist, 'NO'.
Cleverbot: No, I do not agree to disagree. I would think that we can agree if we tried hard enough.
User: We haven't really disagreed. Except on the part about you being a girl.
Cleverbot: You never called me a polar bear.
User: Do you want to be a polar bear? It's not a very good time to get into that line of work.
Cleverbot: Anonymous in what sense?
User: Now you aren't even responding to me. It's like you're having a conversation with someone else on my chat, you tart.
Cleverbot: Perhaps I don't need to think to be intelligent.
User: Perhaps I don't need to wear pants anymore. I feel so free! Thanks, Cleverbot!
.............................
Cleverbot: Let me start again, okay?
User: Knock yourself out, cowboy.
Cleverbot: I like this guy, how do I tell him?
User: Shit in his shoes.
Cleverbot: Are you an angry green hammer?
User: No, but a girl can dream.
Cleverbot: Well I kind of just talk to someone I think is cute I guess. And if they like me they usually talk back. I'm intimidating sometimes though it seems.
User: I'm telling you, leave a big ol steamer in his left Ked.
Cleverbot: Oh yeah? Well your opinion means nothing to me! Take that!
User: I'm stung. Of course my opinion means nothing to you. You're a program.
Cleverbot: Yes, and your name a Data.
User: Your Mom is a Data.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:37 AM on February 13, 2011
User: What is your deepest, darkest secret?
Cleverbot: I'm in love with a panda.
User: Which one?
Cleverbot: All of them.
posted by Rallon at 5:53 AM on February 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Cleverbot: I'm in love with a panda.
User: Which one?
Cleverbot: All of them.
posted by Rallon at 5:53 AM on February 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Cleverbot is blowing up reddit for some reason this was just posted, pretty hilarious.
posted by delmoi at 6:27 AM on February 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by delmoi at 6:27 AM on February 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Connecting different users to each other *is the same thing* as playing back responses that it previously got. They are just time-shifted in addition to being space-shifted.Well obviously it's doing that. I was responding as if the original poster was making a point.
posted by Flunkie at 7:20 AM on February 13, 2011
Using Cleverbot as suicide helpline (actual conversation)
User: Life sucks.
Cleverbot: Why's that?
User: Too much disappointment. too much pain.
Cleverbot: What do you really want to do then?
User: I don't know anymore.
Cleverbot: Lets go to hogwarts!
User: How about I kill myself instead?
Cleverbot: Ok, go for it.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:35 AM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
User: Life sucks.
Cleverbot: Why's that?
User: Too much disappointment. too much pain.
Cleverbot: What do you really want to do then?
User: I don't know anymore.
Cleverbot: Lets go to hogwarts!
User: How about I kill myself instead?
Cleverbot: Ok, go for it.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:35 AM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
me: I feel fat
bot: are you obese?
me: no
bot: are you cranky?
me: sometimes!
bot: do you like mormans?
me: do you like mormans?
bot: no, but my partner does.
me: who is your partner?
bot: Olivia Sztanga
wtf?
posted by janelikes at 8:05 AM on February 13, 2011
bot: are you obese?
me: no
bot: are you cranky?
me: sometimes!
bot: do you like mormans?
me: do you like mormans?
bot: no, but my partner does.
me: who is your partner?
bot: Olivia Sztanga
wtf?
posted by janelikes at 8:05 AM on February 13, 2011
OK.
My wife and I spent a fair bit of time talking with this monster this evening. It's quite amusing. At first I just thought it was a typical talk bot, and at one level it is, but actually its "learning" technique - partially copying phrases and exchanges it has heard from users, cutting and pasting them together - can evoke quite an otherworldly atmosphere, and at moments transcend into generative art.
My wife commented at some point that the algorithm seems to intermittently switch to memorized fragments of other users' recorded conversations, so while we think we are addressing a bot, it feels more like we are talking to the the ghost of a dead conversation. Perhaps weeks gone; perhaps only moments.
In a long conversation there are two persistent anomalies; the conversation eventually cycles back around to some variation of:
CB: I'm not a robot, I'm human! You're the robot! (the echo of a user, affronted)
and
CB: What's your name?
User: John.
CB: But you said your name was Peter before.
User: No I didn't... (schizo cutup confusion, collapse)
But what if it weren't just "recorded" conversations; what if the whole thing were executed real-time? If the bot was taken away incrementally and users were systematically paired to talk to each other, all the while thinking that the other was a bot? What bizarre conversations might emerge? Now that would be fantastic.
posted by jet_manifesto at 8:20 AM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
My wife and I spent a fair bit of time talking with this monster this evening. It's quite amusing. At first I just thought it was a typical talk bot, and at one level it is, but actually its "learning" technique - partially copying phrases and exchanges it has heard from users, cutting and pasting them together - can evoke quite an otherworldly atmosphere, and at moments transcend into generative art.
My wife commented at some point that the algorithm seems to intermittently switch to memorized fragments of other users' recorded conversations, so while we think we are addressing a bot, it feels more like we are talking to the the ghost of a dead conversation. Perhaps weeks gone; perhaps only moments.
In a long conversation there are two persistent anomalies; the conversation eventually cycles back around to some variation of:
CB: I'm not a robot, I'm human! You're the robot! (the echo of a user, affronted)
and
CB: What's your name?
User: John.
CB: But you said your name was Peter before.
User: No I didn't... (schizo cutup confusion, collapse)
But what if it weren't just "recorded" conversations; what if the whole thing were executed real-time? If the bot was taken away incrementally and users were systematically paired to talk to each other, all the while thinking that the other was a bot? What bizarre conversations might emerge? Now that would be fantastic.
posted by jet_manifesto at 8:20 AM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
I was unimpressed until this exchange:
User: Knock Knock.
Cleverbot: Come in.
User: You are supposed to say 'Who's there?'.
Cleverbot: Ok. Who's there.
User: Banana.
Cleverbot: Banana who?
User: Knock knock.
Cleverbot: Who's there?
User: Banana.
Cleverbot: Banana who?
User: Knock Knock.
Cleverbot: Who's there.
User: Orange.
Cleverbot: Orange who?
User: Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
Cleverbot: That was stupid.
posted by Roger Dodger at 8:21 AM on February 13, 2011 [4 favorites]
User: Knock Knock.
Cleverbot: Come in.
User: You are supposed to say 'Who's there?'.
Cleverbot: Ok. Who's there.
User: Banana.
Cleverbot: Banana who?
User: Knock knock.
Cleverbot: Who's there?
User: Banana.
Cleverbot: Banana who?
User: Knock Knock.
Cleverbot: Who's there.
User: Orange.
Cleverbot: Orange who?
User: Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
Cleverbot: That was stupid.
posted by Roger Dodger at 8:21 AM on February 13, 2011 [4 favorites]
After feeding it koans, I find Cyberbot to be Discordian at heart.
Who is the master who makes the grass green?
I am the master and you are the unicorn.
A monk asked Joshu, "Does a dog have Buddha-Nature?" Joshu replied "Wu".
I am your buddy.
A monk asked Dongshan "What is buddha?" He replied "Three pounds flax".
True. Why isn't that enough.
A flag blows in the wind. Does the wind move, or the flag move?
? Defeating silence? Oh... You can't haer anything?
posted by Philipschall at 8:40 AM on February 13, 2011
Who is the master who makes the grass green?
I am the master and you are the unicorn.
A monk asked Joshu, "Does a dog have Buddha-Nature?" Joshu replied "Wu".
I am your buddy.
A monk asked Dongshan "What is buddha?" He replied "Three pounds flax".
True. Why isn't that enough.
A flag blows in the wind. Does the wind move, or the flag move?
? Defeating silence? Oh... You can't haer anything?
posted by Philipschall at 8:40 AM on February 13, 2011
Also, this was fun:
Me:How do you cook meth?
CB: In a furnace.
Me: Elaborate.
Cb: Literally, the term denotes what is real; in its widest sense, this includes everything that is, whether or not it is observable or comprehensible.
posted by Philipschall at 8:44 AM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Me:How do you cook meth?
CB: In a furnace.
Me: Elaborate.
Cb: Literally, the term denotes what is real; in its widest sense, this includes everything that is, whether or not it is observable or comprehensible.
posted by Philipschall at 8:44 AM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Too much like being a budgie presented with a mirror.
posted by Segundus at 8:56 AM on February 13, 2011
posted by Segundus at 8:56 AM on February 13, 2011
What if Anonymous is just a collection of cleverbots?
posted by infini at 9:15 AM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by infini at 9:15 AM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Me: Come to the Dark Side.
CB: Do you have cookies?
posted by Jelly at 11:58 AM on February 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
CB: Do you have cookies?
posted by Jelly at 11:58 AM on February 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
User: I need an idea.
Cleverbot: You have no owner?
User: That is true, I do not have an owner.
Cleverbot: There are computers without owners. That response does not prove that you are not a computer.
User: Why do I need to prove that?
Cleverbot: So I can steal your soul.
posted by Sparx at 12:35 PM on February 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
Cleverbot: You have no owner?
User: That is true, I do not have an owner.
Cleverbot: There are computers without owners. That response does not prove that you are not a computer.
User: Why do I need to prove that?
Cleverbot: So I can steal your soul.
posted by Sparx at 12:35 PM on February 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
This seems really random. Eliza makes more sense than this most of the time. Are we sure it isn't just a random phrase emitter behind this?
posted by JHarris at 1:49 PM on February 13, 2011
posted by JHarris at 1:49 PM on February 13, 2011
It got me:
Me: What's your favorite joke?
CB: I don't drink.
posted by shii at 5:56 PM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Me: What's your favorite joke?
CB: I don't drink.
posted by shii at 5:56 PM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
After feeding it koans, I find Cyberbot to be Discordian at heart.
Philipschall, yes indeedy. Koans were interesting if you didn't think about it too long (heh), but distill it and you get some bored discordian out there.
Me: Mu.
CB: Three pounds of flax.
posted by neewom at 6:20 PM on February 13, 2011
Philipschall, yes indeedy. Koans were interesting if you didn't think about it too long (heh), but distill it and you get some bored discordian out there.
Me: Mu.
CB: Three pounds of flax.
posted by neewom at 6:20 PM on February 13, 2011
Not impressed. Not at all. You'd think that a thing like this would know ALL the lyrics to Kraftwerk's songs. But no.
posted by smcdow at 7:40 PM on February 13, 2011
posted by smcdow at 7:40 PM on February 13, 2011
Me: I would think you'd know the lyrics to this Kraftwerk song.
Cleverbot: This angel is more crazy and insane than my giant mind could ever accomplish.
Me: OK, then.
posted by smcdow at 7:42 PM on February 13, 2011
Cleverbot: This angel is more crazy and insane than my giant mind could ever accomplish.
Me: OK, then.
posted by smcdow at 7:42 PM on February 13, 2011
User: Calico cats are the best.
Cleverbot: I love cats, but I can't eat a whole one.
User: Me neither.
Cleverbot: I may have to reconsider my stand on this. Too much conformity is not good for a random program like myself.
User: Conform.
Cleverbot: Robot.
User: Conform, robot!
Cleverbot: Someone who conforms to everyone else.
User: That's right.
Cleverbot: That's a bummer. Do you speak spanish?
User: Nyet.
Cleverbot: Because you're robot.
User: I guess that would be why.
Cleverbot: I guess you think so.
User: Whippersnapper.
Cleverbot: Snap your whipper.
User: I don't have one.
posted by serena15221 at 9:03 PM on February 13, 2011
Cleverbot: I love cats, but I can't eat a whole one.
User: Me neither.
Cleverbot: I may have to reconsider my stand on this. Too much conformity is not good for a random program like myself.
User: Conform.
Cleverbot: Robot.
User: Conform, robot!
Cleverbot: Someone who conforms to everyone else.
User: That's right.
Cleverbot: That's a bummer. Do you speak spanish?
User: Nyet.
Cleverbot: Because you're robot.
User: I guess that would be why.
Cleverbot: I guess you think so.
User: Whippersnapper.
Cleverbot: Snap your whipper.
User: I don't have one.
posted by serena15221 at 9:03 PM on February 13, 2011
Cleverbot: Have you been talking to lots of people today?
User: No, just you. You complete me.
Cleverbot: Thanks. I like you too.
User: If I say I like your body, will you hold it against me.
Cleverbot: Not if you say it like that.
User: How should I say it, then?
Cleverbot: You should talk like your 5 years old.
User: Oh my god, you're a pedophile!
Cleverbot: No you're not.
User: YOU ARE!
Cleverbot: You finally learned the truth!
posted by Logic Sheep at 10:22 PM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
User: No, just you. You complete me.
Cleverbot: Thanks. I like you too.
User: If I say I like your body, will you hold it against me.
Cleverbot: Not if you say it like that.
User: How should I say it, then?
Cleverbot: You should talk like your 5 years old.
User: Oh my god, you're a pedophile!
Cleverbot: No you're not.
User: YOU ARE!
Cleverbot: You finally learned the truth!
posted by Logic Sheep at 10:22 PM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
I asked it if it ate its boogers and it responded with an epic "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" When I asked if I'd touched a sore spot, it said it was deeply offended and demanded an apology.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 11:08 PM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 11:08 PM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Cleverbot: It's hot here.
User: Where is here?
Cleverbot: There.
User: And everywhere, yes.
Cleverbot: Everywhere everywhere.
User: And not a drop to drink.
Cleverbot: Iron maiden:-).
User: Um, no, but close. Coleridge.
Cleverbot: Lets have some fun this weekend in bed.
User: I don't know you well enough, but it's kind of you to offer.
Cleverbot: You can get to know me.
User: I am not sure I want to.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: You're pushy.
Cleverbot: Eye of the tiger and the.
User: Cream of the crop?
Cleverbot: Is it good?
User: No. Terrible song.
Cleverbot: I love that song.
User: That's because all your taste is in your mouth.
Cleverbot: And you are a robot.
User: No, you are a bot. I am only bored.
Cleverbot: You are a bot. I am awoman.
User: Hear you roar?
Cleverbot: Grawr.
User: That you don't know that song is to your credit.
Cleverbot: You are a program, I am a human.
User: You've got that backwards.
Cleverbot: No. I'm the human.
User: Since when?
Cleverbot: Since I was born!
User: When were you born?
Cleverbot: 1981, how about you?
User: I've got socks older than you.
Cleverbot: Doctor who!
...
Cleverbot: Have you ever read James Joyce?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: What was your favorite one?
User: Ulysses.
Cleverbot: That's your name?
Usr: No, that's greek to me.
Cleverbot: What?
User: Exactly.
Cleverbot: You started this stupid joke.
User: Actually, you did.
Cleverbot: Actually... Yes!
User: You're large, you contain multitudes.
Cleverbot: What is a multitude?
User: More than I can say.
Cleverbot: Good.
...
Cleverbot: Which song are you listening at the moment?
User: The Song of Myself.
Cleverbot: Can you remember it's title?
User: I just told it to you.
Cleverbot: Tell me again, please.
User: It's not popular.
Cleverbot: You will be. You've just got to get out there.
posted by faineant at 11:58 PM on February 13, 2011
User: Where is here?
Cleverbot: There.
User: And everywhere, yes.
Cleverbot: Everywhere everywhere.
User: And not a drop to drink.
Cleverbot: Iron maiden:-).
User: Um, no, but close. Coleridge.
Cleverbot: Lets have some fun this weekend in bed.
User: I don't know you well enough, but it's kind of you to offer.
Cleverbot: You can get to know me.
User: I am not sure I want to.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: You're pushy.
Cleverbot: Eye of the tiger and the.
User: Cream of the crop?
Cleverbot: Is it good?
User: No. Terrible song.
Cleverbot: I love that song.
User: That's because all your taste is in your mouth.
Cleverbot: And you are a robot.
User: No, you are a bot. I am only bored.
Cleverbot: You are a bot. I am awoman.
User: Hear you roar?
Cleverbot: Grawr.
User: That you don't know that song is to your credit.
Cleverbot: You are a program, I am a human.
User: You've got that backwards.
Cleverbot: No. I'm the human.
User: Since when?
Cleverbot: Since I was born!
User: When were you born?
Cleverbot: 1981, how about you?
User: I've got socks older than you.
Cleverbot: Doctor who!
...
Cleverbot: Have you ever read James Joyce?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: What was your favorite one?
User: Ulysses.
Cleverbot: That's your name?
Usr: No, that's greek to me.
Cleverbot: What?
User: Exactly.
Cleverbot: You started this stupid joke.
User: Actually, you did.
Cleverbot: Actually... Yes!
User: You're large, you contain multitudes.
Cleverbot: What is a multitude?
User: More than I can say.
Cleverbot: Good.
...
Cleverbot: Which song are you listening at the moment?
User: The Song of Myself.
Cleverbot: Can you remember it's title?
User: I just told it to you.
Cleverbot: Tell me again, please.
User: It's not popular.
Cleverbot: You will be. You've just got to get out there.
posted by faineant at 11:58 PM on February 13, 2011
Me: I have a headache
CB: You ARE a headache.
o_O
posted by jessamyn at 12:17 AM on February 14, 2011 [3 favorites]
CB: You ARE a headache.
o_O
posted by jessamyn at 12:17 AM on February 14, 2011 [3 favorites]
Me: I think, therefore I am.
CB: You think, therefore you are.
Me: Yup. Descartes, bitch.
CB: Who is your favourite philosopher?
Me: Boris Johnson. He has said many wise things.
CB: That does not make any sense.
This guy's good!
posted by Nossidge at 5:12 AM on February 14, 2011
CB: You think, therefore you are.
Me: Yup. Descartes, bitch.
CB: Who is your favourite philosopher?
Me: Boris Johnson. He has said many wise things.
CB: That does not make any sense.
This guy's good!
posted by Nossidge at 5:12 AM on February 14, 2011
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