Aquaman, king of the catwalk
March 1, 2011 4:41 PM Subscribe
To mark it's fifth anniversary superhero fashion blog Project Rooftop announced it's ultimate challenge: redesign Aquaman. With the winners in did they succeed in restoring some dignity to the King of the Sea after years of Superfreinds jokes?
The Alex Ross old-school version is definitive, I'd say.
posted by Joe Beese at 4:50 PM on March 1, 2011
posted by Joe Beese at 4:50 PM on March 1, 2011
Haha, awesome. I think the winner definitely deserved the distinction. B.T. Pannell's design kinda threw me for a loop tho, and this excerpt from one of the reviews:
This world-weary Aquaman says to me, “I’m too busy to even bother with fashion. I’ve been wearing this for decades, and I don’t even care that living organisms have started hitching a ride on me. Gotta problem with that?”
made me LOL.
posted by bayani at 4:51 PM on March 1, 2011
This world-weary Aquaman says to me, “I’m too busy to even bother with fashion. I’ve been wearing this for decades, and I don’t even care that living organisms have started hitching a ride on me. Gotta problem with that?”
made me LOL.
posted by bayani at 4:51 PM on March 1, 2011
Eh, just cast Johnny Depp and be done with it.
posted by cjorgensen at 4:58 PM on March 1, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by cjorgensen at 4:58 PM on March 1, 2011 [2 favorites]
All but the 1st place winner expect Aquaman to have some sort of non-flipper based source of propulsion. An all legume diet, perhaps?
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 5:01 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 5:01 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
He just dolphin kicks like crazy a al Patrick Duffy.
posted by GuyZero at 5:04 PM on March 1, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by GuyZero at 5:04 PM on March 1, 2011 [2 favorites]
i like the sea creature armor, but they're mostly pretty neat
I thought Aquaman was badass after seeing a Justice League cartoon that had the same plot as that new 127 Hours film. Ended with him having a hook for a hand. That's from the comics, right?
that 'James Cameron's Aquaman' joke from Entourage would be a fantastic film, given his underwater filming experience.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 5:10 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
I thought Aquaman was badass after seeing a Justice League cartoon that had the same plot as that new 127 Hours film. Ended with him having a hook for a hand. That's from the comics, right?
that 'James Cameron's Aquaman' joke from Entourage would be a fantastic film, given his underwater filming experience.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 5:10 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
also, this thread needs some Ookla the Mokk
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 5:14 PM on March 1, 2011
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 5:14 PM on March 1, 2011
All of these are better than what they've been making poor Art Curry wear for forever.
Thank god they finally killed him off.
Rest In Peace Old Man.
posted by artof.mulata at 5:17 PM on March 1, 2011
Thank god they finally killed him off.
Rest In Peace Old Man.
posted by artof.mulata at 5:17 PM on March 1, 2011
Wow, a whole bunch of campy misses.
Want to make Aquaman a bad ass? Make water into a mystery and realize that less is more.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:18 PM on March 1, 2011 [4 favorites]
Want to make Aquaman a bad ass? Make water into a mystery and realize that less is more.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:18 PM on March 1, 2011 [4 favorites]
succeed in restoring some dignity
The costume's not at fault. Bronze and green is a fine look, worlds better than the Submariner's spankies.
No, this is the problem: can you come up with two words to describe Aquaman's personality without using a synonym for "brave?"
(Compare w/ Wonder Woman; contrast w/ Namor ("arrogant dick").)
posted by Iridic at 5:24 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
The costume's not at fault. Bronze and green is a fine look, worlds better than the Submariner's spankies.
No, this is the problem: can you come up with two words to describe Aquaman's personality without using a synonym for "brave?"
(Compare w/ Wonder Woman; contrast w/ Namor ("arrogant dick").)
posted by Iridic at 5:24 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
They got it right with Namor, the Submariner. Dude can live in the deepest part of the ocean, survive its temperature and pressures, so he really doesn't give a shit about clothes. Through on some trunks for modesty, but otherwise, screw it.
Aquaman seems silly in comparison, with no real personality or use. What's his history? Never mind, who gives a shit.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:25 PM on March 1, 2011 [3 favorites]
Aquaman seems silly in comparison, with no real personality or use. What's his history? Never mind, who gives a shit.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:25 PM on March 1, 2011 [3 favorites]
This one made me laugh. He has an expression that one would expect on a cat just hit with the spray bottle. But instead, he's a hipster thrown into an Aquaman costume. With shorts. Awesome.
posted by kaibutsu at 5:31 PM on March 1, 2011 [7 favorites]
posted by kaibutsu at 5:31 PM on March 1, 2011 [7 favorites]
YOU TAKE THAT BACK ABOUT AQUAMAN
posted by jtron at 5:49 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by jtron at 5:49 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
Namor the Sub-Mariner gets it right and Aquaman doesn't, and here's why:
Namor isn't a hero. In fact, he'd very much like to see humanity erased from the earth. We threaten his realm, which consists of three-fifths of the planet. He's the undisputed ruler of most of the world. All we are is a constant headache prone to fucking up his kingdom. Now, if there's a planetary threat? Yeah, Namor's gonna pitch in and kick some ass, because he's preserving his people and his kingdom. But, say, Omaha is threatened by a rampaging monster? Well, good luck with that, surface-dwellers. Namor doesn't give a damn. He's got MOST OF THE PLANET to look after. Sure, he has some grudging respect for a few humans, but it in the long run, we could all keel over and he wouldn't shed a salty tear. Namor is in it for Namor, and if the best deal he can get is from Dr. Doom, well, he's fine with that.
Aquaman, though, is a hero. Who talks to fish. Who exists largely as a plot device that shows up riding a dolphin to the rescue when Timmy falls into the drink. He's the Coast Guard. And that's admirable and all, and the Coast Guard serves an important purpose, but you're never going to mistake them Navy Seals.
(Yes, I know Namor fought the Nazis with Cap and the original Human Torch, and yes, I know he's discovered that he's a mutant and whatever. My point still stands: Aquaman will always be sort of risible and Namor kicks ass.)
posted by BitterOldPunk at 5:54 PM on March 1, 2011 [11 favorites]
Namor isn't a hero. In fact, he'd very much like to see humanity erased from the earth. We threaten his realm, which consists of three-fifths of the planet. He's the undisputed ruler of most of the world. All we are is a constant headache prone to fucking up his kingdom. Now, if there's a planetary threat? Yeah, Namor's gonna pitch in and kick some ass, because he's preserving his people and his kingdom. But, say, Omaha is threatened by a rampaging monster? Well, good luck with that, surface-dwellers. Namor doesn't give a damn. He's got MOST OF THE PLANET to look after. Sure, he has some grudging respect for a few humans, but it in the long run, we could all keel over and he wouldn't shed a salty tear. Namor is in it for Namor, and if the best deal he can get is from Dr. Doom, well, he's fine with that.
Aquaman, though, is a hero. Who talks to fish. Who exists largely as a plot device that shows up riding a dolphin to the rescue when Timmy falls into the drink. He's the Coast Guard. And that's admirable and all, and the Coast Guard serves an important purpose, but you're never going to mistake them Navy Seals.
(Yes, I know Namor fought the Nazis with Cap and the original Human Torch, and yes, I know he's discovered that he's a mutant and whatever. My point still stands: Aquaman will always be sort of risible and Namor kicks ass.)
posted by BitterOldPunk at 5:54 PM on March 1, 2011 [11 favorites]
Namor isn't a hero. In fact, he'd very much like to see humanity erased from the earth. We threaten his realm, which consists of three-fifths of the planet. He's the undisputed ruler of most of the world. All we are is a constant headache prone to fucking up his kingdom.
You get to see this side of Arthur Curry in Kingdom Come. Superman comes down to Atlantis to ask for his help, and Arthur, from his throne, refuses, on the grounds that this is all surface stuff and he has more important problems to deal with. "You know I was never comfortable being your... 'Aquaman.'"
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:10 PM on March 1, 2011 [2 favorites]
You get to see this side of Arthur Curry in Kingdom Come. Superman comes down to Atlantis to ask for his help, and Arthur, from his throne, refuses, on the grounds that this is all surface stuff and he has more important problems to deal with. "You know I was never comfortable being your... 'Aquaman.'"
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:10 PM on March 1, 2011 [2 favorites]
Namor's basically an underwater, overprivileged fratboy. So there!
I love Project Rooftop but in this case the wonner doesn't seem significantly different from the 'classic' Aquaman costume.
posted by sevenyearlurk at 6:10 PM on March 1, 2011 [2 favorites]
I love Project Rooftop but in this case the wonner doesn't seem significantly different from the 'classic' Aquaman costume.
posted by sevenyearlurk at 6:10 PM on March 1, 2011 [2 favorites]
The costume's not at fault. Bronze and green is a fine look, worlds better than the Submariner's spankies.
Agreed. Classic Aquaman actually has a pretty good costume. He's a bit like Captain America, where updating his look probably shouldn't entail more than minor tweaks. In fact, I'd say his costume kind of points the way toward getting a good handle on an interesting personality for him: bronze scale armor, green sharkskin leather, a great trident, and a sinister beard makes me think he should be "Underwater Conan," which ain't such a bad angle. (It's better than "Underwater King Arthur," at least.) The animated Batman: The Brave and the Bold kind of touches on this, but doesn't take it far enough. To be fair, though, that's also been Marvel's take on Thor over the past few years -- he's essentially "Super Viking Conan" -- and it's totally revitalized the character.
Sure, he has some grudging respect for a few humans, but it in the long run, we could all keel over and he wouldn't shed a salty tear. Namor is in it for Namor, and if the best deal he can get is from Dr. Doom, well, he's fine with that.
Absolutely. Namor is one of the few anti-heroes in comics who hasn't been pushed too far in one direction or the other. He's the kind of character who'll show up out of the blue to stand by Captain America when things look dire, but who'll also throw in with Dr. Doom if he thinks it will benefit him, and neither action is out of character.
Also, he had awesome giant Kirby monsters and underwater biotech back in the '60s, long before they started sticking clamshells on Aquaman.
And? And he can kick the tar out of Wolverine.
posted by Amanojaku at 6:12 PM on March 1, 2011 [3 favorites]
Agreed. Classic Aquaman actually has a pretty good costume. He's a bit like Captain America, where updating his look probably shouldn't entail more than minor tweaks. In fact, I'd say his costume kind of points the way toward getting a good handle on an interesting personality for him: bronze scale armor, green sharkskin leather, a great trident, and a sinister beard makes me think he should be "Underwater Conan," which ain't such a bad angle. (It's better than "Underwater King Arthur," at least.) The animated Batman: The Brave and the Bold kind of touches on this, but doesn't take it far enough. To be fair, though, that's also been Marvel's take on Thor over the past few years -- he's essentially "Super Viking Conan" -- and it's totally revitalized the character.
Sure, he has some grudging respect for a few humans, but it in the long run, we could all keel over and he wouldn't shed a salty tear. Namor is in it for Namor, and if the best deal he can get is from Dr. Doom, well, he's fine with that.
Absolutely. Namor is one of the few anti-heroes in comics who hasn't been pushed too far in one direction or the other. He's the kind of character who'll show up out of the blue to stand by Captain America when things look dire, but who'll also throw in with Dr. Doom if he thinks it will benefit him, and neither action is out of character.
Also, he had awesome giant Kirby monsters and underwater biotech back in the '60s, long before they started sticking clamshells on Aquaman.
And? And he can kick the tar out of Wolverine.
posted by Amanojaku at 6:12 PM on March 1, 2011 [3 favorites]
Yeah, what BitterOldPunk said. I never read comics with Namor in them, but I knew enough about the Marvel Universe that he wasn't a to be trifled with and had a legitimate beef with humans.
Reading Aquaman's history on Wikipedia, it seems writers are chained to the whole King of the Ocean and hero concept. He'd be more interesting as a Elijah Snow (from Planetary) type personality, powerful, smart and surly, with the ability to manipulate and control water, which gives rise to all sorts of neat possibilities.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:14 PM on March 1, 2011
Reading Aquaman's history on Wikipedia, it seems writers are chained to the whole King of the Ocean and hero concept. He'd be more interesting as a Elijah Snow (from Planetary) type personality, powerful, smart and surly, with the ability to manipulate and control water, which gives rise to all sorts of neat possibilities.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:14 PM on March 1, 2011
He'd be more interesting as a Elijah Snow (from Planetary) type personality, powerful, smart and surly, with the ability to manipulate and control water, which gives rise to all sorts of neat possibilities.
Thought that would be a link to some Katara clips from Avatar: The Last Airbender
BitterOldPunk is right about Namor. Plus he had that awesome fight with the first Human Torch
wasn't there an 'underwater Conan' run recently?
i was just thinking about how terrifying Aquaman would be in Sydney. all those sharks and jellyfish could kill tourism
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 6:22 PM on March 1, 2011
Thought that would be a link to some Katara clips from Avatar: The Last Airbender
BitterOldPunk is right about Namor. Plus he had that awesome fight with the first Human Torch
wasn't there an 'underwater Conan' run recently?
i was just thinking about how terrifying Aquaman would be in Sydney. all those sharks and jellyfish could kill tourism
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 6:22 PM on March 1, 2011
Namor's basically an underwater, overprivileged fratboy. So there!
"Foolish surface dweller! Brotherhood is an attribute of the common man -- Namor is without peer! The King of Atlantis will not be hazed!
IMPERIUS REX!"
posted by Amanojaku at 6:26 PM on March 1, 2011 [5 favorites]
"Foolish surface dweller! Brotherhood is an attribute of the common man -- Namor is without peer! The King of Atlantis will not be hazed!
IMPERIUS REX!"
posted by Amanojaku at 6:26 PM on March 1, 2011 [5 favorites]
I would buy an issue with the version by Otoniel Oliveira. I would not even consider browsing through any of the others.
posted by Ardiril at 6:51 PM on March 1, 2011
posted by Ardiril at 6:51 PM on March 1, 2011
Ack - the winner looks like a Solid Gold Dancer. What's with the Vegas Style Lamé top? Has Aquaman started moonlighting with Cirque du Soliel. Dude was my favorite super hero growing up too!
posted by helmutdog at 6:55 PM on March 1, 2011
posted by helmutdog at 6:55 PM on March 1, 2011
"My ability to talk with fish is of no help, Wonder Woman" (to which, she rolls her eyes)
(And this needs more Black Manta).
posted by filthy light thief at 6:55 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
(And this needs more Black Manta).
posted by filthy light thief at 6:55 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
Aquaman?
Easy, just make him look like a real waterman.
posted by Relay at 6:56 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
Easy, just make him look like a real waterman.
posted by Relay at 6:56 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
Looking at some of these links has got me wondering if anybody's ever seen Black Adam and Namor in the same place at the same time. They look and act a hell of a lot alike. I'm just saying.
I never bought that those tiny wings on his feet let Namor fly. It's all starting to make sense now.
posted by lord_wolf at 6:57 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
I never bought that those tiny wings on his feet let Namor fly. It's all starting to make sense now.
posted by lord_wolf at 6:57 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
http://www.metafilter.com/101069/Aquaman-king-of-the-catwalk#3549666
FACEPALM.
I like the one with the moray wrapped around his arm best.
posted by luvcraft at 7:03 PM on March 1, 2011
FACEPALM.
I like the one with the moray wrapped around his arm best.
posted by luvcraft at 7:03 PM on March 1, 2011
The second place design by Jordan Gibson is the first time I've ever looked at Aquaman and felt I could take him seriously*. It's got this sort of Arthurian retro-futurist wetsuit vibe that shouldn't work at all but gives the character a sort of pared-down elegance and nobility that the "classic" design -- which is both dull, at least the way it's drawn now, and an eyesore -- is lacking.
* I guess the second time if you count Batman: The Brave and the Bold's version of the character, but "seriously" is not really the word I'd use there.
posted by bettafish at 7:04 PM on March 1, 2011
* I guess the second time if you count Batman: The Brave and the Bold's version of the character, but "seriously" is not really the word I'd use there.
posted by bettafish at 7:04 PM on March 1, 2011
But putting Aquaman in a wetsuit is like putting Superman in armor. Or giving Wolverine a sword.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:11 PM on March 1, 2011
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:11 PM on March 1, 2011
ability to talk with fish
Which makes me wonder...
Could Aquaman talk to both Sea Bear & Grizzly Shark?
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 7:14 PM on March 1, 2011
Which makes me wonder...
Could Aquaman talk to both Sea Bear & Grizzly Shark?
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 7:14 PM on March 1, 2011
Most of them were pretty good, with enough nods to previous designs to make my inner nerd girl happy and enough modern touches and/or fashionable bits to look cool.
All of them were better than the current Wonder Woman resdesign.
posted by immlass at 7:16 PM on March 1, 2011
All of them were better than the current Wonder Woman resdesign.
posted by immlass at 7:16 PM on March 1, 2011
Artw: did they succeed in restoring some dignity to the King of the Sea after years of Superfreinds jokes?
Not really. Some of them were Ok, but they were all a bit…Aquaman-y.
posted by paisley henosis at 7:54 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
Not really. Some of them were Ok, but they were all a bit…Aquaman-y.
posted by paisley henosis at 7:54 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
First step is the name. Aquaman? No resonance whatsoever. Sounds like a pool cleaning company. So I would call him WATER-FELLOW! Obviously he will need a sidekick (all the best superheroes have sidekicks), and that sidekick would be the FISH-FACED BOY. WATER-FELLOW & THE FISH-FACED BOY will fly off the shelves like you wouldn't believe. Of course, he will need a nemesis or two, and they will be DR. SPONGE and ECHIDNA LAD. What do echidnas have to do with the hydrological theme of this new book, you ask? Well, did you know that echidnas can't drown?
The first issue would need to be an origin story, of course. Mild-mannered crabber Harry Tuo (H. Tuo, right?), on shore leave, ingests a radioactive bucket of water on a dare, and it overflows from his stomach and enters his lungs, drowning him radioactively. His crewmates hide his body in the ocean, weighted down with crab pots, and the crabs come out of their pots somehow and swarm all over him, licking him back to life. He immediately resolves to become WATER-FELLOW, able to control water and all the things therein. His first self-imposed mission? Turning the Great Pacific Garbage Patch into his home base, the FORTRESS OF PULCHRITUDE. Here he finds a young (Asian? Need a minority character - Ed) boy with his face stuck in a six pack yoke. Thinking fast, WATER-FELLOW removes the child's face and transplants a fish's face onto it. "From now on you will be known as the FISH-FACED BOY!" roars WATER-FELLOW. "Together we will fight ocean- and estuary-based crime and the like!" FISH-FACED BOY screams horribly, trapped in a nightmare.
Green Lantern (whichever one) makes a number of cameos, for no reason.
posted by tumid dahlia at 7:56 PM on March 1, 2011 [4 favorites]
The first issue would need to be an origin story, of course. Mild-mannered crabber Harry Tuo (H. Tuo, right?), on shore leave, ingests a radioactive bucket of water on a dare, and it overflows from his stomach and enters his lungs, drowning him radioactively. His crewmates hide his body in the ocean, weighted down with crab pots, and the crabs come out of their pots somehow and swarm all over him, licking him back to life. He immediately resolves to become WATER-FELLOW, able to control water and all the things therein. His first self-imposed mission? Turning the Great Pacific Garbage Patch into his home base, the FORTRESS OF PULCHRITUDE. Here he finds a young (Asian? Need a minority character - Ed) boy with his face stuck in a six pack yoke. Thinking fast, WATER-FELLOW removes the child's face and transplants a fish's face onto it. "From now on you will be known as the FISH-FACED BOY!" roars WATER-FELLOW. "Together we will fight ocean- and estuary-based crime and the like!" FISH-FACED BOY screams horribly, trapped in a nightmare.
Green Lantern (whichever one) makes a number of cameos, for no reason.
posted by tumid dahlia at 7:56 PM on March 1, 2011 [4 favorites]
I know I'm shooting fish in a barrel here, but ...
Artw, you really should familiarize yourself with this:
http://www.angryflower.com/itsits.gif
Making that error causes a cognitive speedbump for your reader.
And note that everyone making comments here used it correctly.
[ducks]
posted by intermod at 8:02 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
Artw, you really should familiarize yourself with this:
http://www.angryflower.com/itsits.gif
Making that error causes a cognitive speedbump for your reader.
And note that everyone making comments here used it correctly.
[ducks]
posted by intermod at 8:02 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
(Disclaimer: I actually like Aquaman)
posted by tumid dahlia at 8:02 PM on March 1, 2011
posted by tumid dahlia at 8:02 PM on March 1, 2011
intermod, I guarantee Artw knows that, and that's it's just a typo. Things happen! The cognitive speedbump lasted me about a ten-thousandth of a second.
posted by tumid dahlia at 8:03 PM on March 1, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by tumid dahlia at 8:03 PM on March 1, 2011 [3 favorites]
Didn't they try a pissed off environmentalist version of Aquaman in one of the DC animated shows/movies of the 90's/00's? I think it was The Superman show. Whatever one it was, it definitely worked for me.
Aquaman as rapid mood swing water elemental capable of both OBLITERATING coastlines and providing for/protecting millions of people (kinda like the way ocean can be) works OK for me. Think Superman, but with a greater burden of responsibility, so he has no time for fools or games
posted by KingEdRa at 8:25 PM on March 1, 2011
Aquaman as rapid mood swing water elemental capable of both OBLITERATING coastlines and providing for/protecting millions of people (kinda like the way ocean can be) works OK for me. Think Superman, but with a greater burden of responsibility, so he has no time for fools or games
posted by KingEdRa at 8:25 PM on March 1, 2011
You people are crazy Aquaman is awesome and Namor is lame. Also the one time they fough, Aquaman beat Namor.
posted by oddman at 8:33 PM on March 1, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by oddman at 8:33 PM on March 1, 2011 [3 favorites]
Aquaman, though, is a hero. Who talks to fish.
He's the king of Atlantis and controls the creatures of the sea. He's not the coast guard. He's the motherfucking navy. And if you think good can prevail over evil without the ocean on its side, you're mad. It's three-quarters of the earth's surface, fifty percent of life on earth, and connects everything. You want trade routes. Not if aquaman doesn't want it, motherfucker. You want safe passage from one place to another? Zap, fuck you. Go ahead and try to fly over it. Zap, Aquaman will ride a fucking giant monster squid into the air and bit you in half. He is the trident of Poseidon, he controls the kraken, he can make the dry lands flood and the wet places burn, and you better show him some respect or he will fuck you up.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:52 PM on March 1, 2011 [6 favorites]
He's the king of Atlantis and controls the creatures of the sea. He's not the coast guard. He's the motherfucking navy. And if you think good can prevail over evil without the ocean on its side, you're mad. It's three-quarters of the earth's surface, fifty percent of life on earth, and connects everything. You want trade routes. Not if aquaman doesn't want it, motherfucker. You want safe passage from one place to another? Zap, fuck you. Go ahead and try to fly over it. Zap, Aquaman will ride a fucking giant monster squid into the air and bit you in half. He is the trident of Poseidon, he controls the kraken, he can make the dry lands flood and the wet places burn, and you better show him some respect or he will fuck you up.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:52 PM on March 1, 2011 [6 favorites]
Namor can fight toe to toe with the Hulk and once lifted an oil tanker (with difficulty, granted). The idea that he'd lose a fight just because someone dropped a small whale on him beggars belief.
I love that I could write that sentence.
posted by bettafish at 8:59 PM on March 1, 2011 [3 favorites]
I love that I could write that sentence.
posted by bettafish at 8:59 PM on March 1, 2011 [3 favorites]
Aquaman controls all life in the sea (not just fish, he controls dolphins, whales, sea horses, etc.) and Namor is a living sea creature.
Aquaman controls Namor.
Q.E.D.
posted by oddman at 9:13 PM on March 1, 2011
Aquaman controls Namor.
Q.E.D.
posted by oddman at 9:13 PM on March 1, 2011
But isn't Namor half-human?
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 9:31 PM on March 1, 2011
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 9:31 PM on March 1, 2011
Yeah, and? Still a creature of the sea. (Also Aquaman's telepathy has been shown to affect humans to various degrees.)
posted by oddman at 9:34 PM on March 1, 2011
posted by oddman at 9:34 PM on March 1, 2011
Aquaman controls all life in the sea (not just fish, he controls dolphins, whales, sea horses, etc.) and Namor is a living sea creature.
Aquaman controls Namor.
Q.E.D.
Actually (adjusts glasses), Aquaman just communicates with sea life. Aquaman trying to communicate with Namor results in a stony silence at best; some harsh words from Namor leading to sniffles and a Pralines n' Cuttlefish ice cream pick-me-up for Aquaman is also likely.
posted by Amanojaku at 9:36 PM on March 1, 2011 [5 favorites]
Aquaman controls Namor.
Q.E.D.
Actually (adjusts glasses), Aquaman just communicates with sea life. Aquaman trying to communicate with Namor results in a stony silence at best; some harsh words from Namor leading to sniffles and a Pralines n' Cuttlefish ice cream pick-me-up for Aquaman is also likely.
posted by Amanojaku at 9:36 PM on March 1, 2011 [5 favorites]
the guys from Smallville made an Aquaman pilot
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 9:37 PM on March 1, 2011
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 9:37 PM on March 1, 2011
And if you think good can prevail over evil without the ocean on its side, you're mad.
Agreed. And that's precisely why Aquaman is a boring character -- he's a good guy. He's not gonna slap down that freighter full of pirates with Doomsday weapons: they've kidnapped little Timmy! Once Superman spirits away the innocents, Aquaman comes in to bat clean-up. But Namor would just sink it without a second thought and get on with his afternoon. Fuck little Timmy. Capricious, unpredictable, powerful and cruel, like the sea: that's Namor. That ain't Aquaman.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 9:52 PM on March 1, 2011 [6 favorites]
Agreed. And that's precisely why Aquaman is a boring character -- he's a good guy. He's not gonna slap down that freighter full of pirates with Doomsday weapons: they've kidnapped little Timmy! Once Superman spirits away the innocents, Aquaman comes in to bat clean-up. But Namor would just sink it without a second thought and get on with his afternoon. Fuck little Timmy. Capricious, unpredictable, powerful and cruel, like the sea: that's Namor. That ain't Aquaman.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 9:52 PM on March 1, 2011 [6 favorites]
From that same wikipedia article:
"Aquaman has at times demonstrated the ability to affect any being that lives upon the sea (e.g., sea eagles), or even any being evolved from marine life (e.g., humans)."
Notice that he affects humans not just communicates with them. More importantly:
"He shows off his immense psychic control over sea life when he single-handedly shuts down the minds of Atlantean soldiers under the control of Attuma. "
Attuma is a Marvel Atlantean. So, Aquaman can shut-down the minds of Marvel Atlanteans and affect humans. I don't see Namor getting out of that.
Furthermore, if Namor runs into Aquaman, while the latter has the magic-water hand. It's totally game over, Aquaman can "dehydrate anyone he touches with it, killing them instantly" with that thing.
posted by oddman at 9:55 PM on March 1, 2011
"Aquaman has at times demonstrated the ability to affect any being that lives upon the sea (e.g., sea eagles), or even any being evolved from marine life (e.g., humans)."
Notice that he affects humans not just communicates with them. More importantly:
"He shows off his immense psychic control over sea life when he single-handedly shuts down the minds of Atlantean soldiers under the control of Attuma. "
Attuma is a Marvel Atlantean. So, Aquaman can shut-down the minds of Marvel Atlanteans and affect humans. I don't see Namor getting out of that.
Furthermore, if Namor runs into Aquaman, while the latter has the magic-water hand. It's totally game over, Aquaman can "dehydrate anyone he touches with it, killing them instantly" with that thing.
posted by oddman at 9:55 PM on March 1, 2011
I adore Project Rooftop. It's in that sweet spot of blogs that I love but which update slowly enough that I kind of forget they exist until someone reminds me and it's again flush with a bunch of amazing art! Thanks, Artw!
This one is my very favorite out of this contest.
posted by EatTheWeek at 10:58 PM on March 1, 2011
This one is my very favorite out of this contest.
posted by EatTheWeek at 10:58 PM on March 1, 2011
PLAAAATELEEEET!
I want The Brave & The Bold. Why is it not on TV right now?
posted by Pronoiac at 12:40 AM on March 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
I want The Brave & The Bold. Why is it not on TV right now?
posted by Pronoiac at 12:40 AM on March 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
Yeah, the Aquaman from the Brave and the Bold is pretty much all the revamp the character needed. The problem was never the look, the problem was the attitude.
"Dude talks to fish! Haha!" - Incorrect.
"Fish obey him, as he is the ruler of a vast empire with an army, and can punch things to death, and he's fun todrink hang out with. You will also obey him for much the same reason." - Correct.
posted by Slap*Happy at 1:40 AM on March 2, 2011 [3 favorites]
"Dude talks to fish! Haha!" - Incorrect.
"Fish obey him, as he is the ruler of a vast empire with an army, and can punch things to death, and he's fun to
posted by Slap*Happy at 1:40 AM on March 2, 2011 [3 favorites]
I like the Otoniel Oliveira and Chis King versions. The others not so much. The first one looks like Fabio's younger brother spent too much time in the pool. And the 3rd place should be titled 'Dolphin Lundgren'.
posted by batou_ at 4:55 AM on March 2, 2011
posted by batou_ at 4:55 AM on March 2, 2011
Who exists largely as a plot device that shows up riding a dolphin to the rescue
I thought it was a really big seahorse.
posted by jonmc at 5:08 AM on March 2, 2011
I thought it was a really big seahorse.
posted by jonmc at 5:08 AM on March 2, 2011
Hey now, I had 20 years in Aquaman's councubinage and didn't end up worse fir the wear.
what?
posted by The Whelk at 5:35 AM on March 2, 2011
what?
posted by The Whelk at 5:35 AM on March 2, 2011
Namor is alive.
Aquaman is not.
As if being dead ever mattered. In DC even the non-powered human heroes can come back to life, e.g. Batman.
posted by oddman at 6:22 AM on March 2, 2011
Aquaman is not.
As if being dead ever mattered. In DC even the non-powered human heroes can come back to life, e.g. Batman.
posted by oddman at 6:22 AM on March 2, 2011
I think I like the first runner-up Mike Maihack's take the best. I also think Kate Beaton nailed it a little while back, so maybe my judgment is questionable.
posted by Monster_Zero at 6:50 AM on March 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Monster_Zero at 6:50 AM on March 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
Suprised people aren't mentioning Submariner's creepy little wing things more.
posted by Artw at 7:42 AM on March 2, 2011
posted by Artw at 7:42 AM on March 2, 2011
Aquaman, written so that he does not suck. (May contain sqaumous)
posted by Myca at 9:51 AM on March 2, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Myca at 9:51 AM on March 2, 2011 [2 favorites]
Also, I'm somewhat surprised at the Submariner vs. Aquaman argument. They're actually a lot alike. The only real difference is that Namor is an whiny overentitled little bitch who passive-aggressively preens his way through every comic he's in and Aquaman is underwater Conan.
posted by Myca at 9:54 AM on March 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Myca at 9:54 AM on March 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
an whiny overentitled little bitch who passive-aggressively preens his way through every comic he's in
I beleive the correct term is "haughty".
posted by Artw at 10:43 AM on March 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
I beleive the correct term is "haughty".
posted by Artw at 10:43 AM on March 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
At least Namor has a personality.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:02 PM on March 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:02 PM on March 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
At least Namor has a personality.
Yeah, the kind of personality that makes 'can talk to cod' look like a fair trade.
posted by Myca at 1:46 PM on March 2, 2011
Yeah, the kind of personality that makes 'can talk to cod' look like a fair trade.
posted by Myca at 1:46 PM on March 2, 2011
Sorry, I haven't been able to take Namor seriously since the day I decided he looked exactly like Spock, and Namor/Nimoy became pretty much interchangeable.
posted by tumid dahlia at 3:43 PM on March 2, 2011
posted by tumid dahlia at 3:43 PM on March 2, 2011
Just remember, while the rest of the Justice League is out fighting crime, Aquaman frequently has time to be a creepy stalker.
posted by hanov3r at 7:46 PM on March 2, 2011
posted by hanov3r at 7:46 PM on March 2, 2011
A creepier stalker than Namor? It scarcely seems possible.
posted by Artw at 8:33 PM on March 2, 2011
posted by Artw at 8:33 PM on March 2, 2011
I just came across this recent Namor / Aquaman doodle by Tim Fish that seems apropos. Apologies for the FB link.
posted by sevenyearlurk at 9:07 AM on March 7, 2011
posted by sevenyearlurk at 9:07 AM on March 7, 2011
First Wonder Woman costume photo will make your eyes bleed
posted by homunculus at 2:36 PM on March 18, 2011
posted by homunculus at 2:36 PM on March 18, 2011
The new Wonder Woman costume had about the same effect as the Lynda Carter Wonder Woman costume and that effect was not bleeding eyes.
Although I do feel bad about setting feminism back about 30 years.
posted by GuyZero at 2:42 PM on March 18, 2011
Although I do feel bad about setting feminism back about 30 years.
posted by GuyZero at 2:42 PM on March 18, 2011
It's better than the new one* in the comics. It looks like Wonder Woman, for a start. Well, it does look a little like a stripper, but at least a Wonder Woman themed stripper.
* Assuming it hasn't been retconned out of existance yet.
posted by Artw at 2:56 PM on March 18, 2011
* Assuming it hasn't been retconned out of existance yet.
posted by Artw at 2:56 PM on March 18, 2011
My whole DNW reaction to the WW series is so strong that even if it were a great costume, I'd hate it. But it's not a great costume. It's not terrible, but it sucks compared to the Superman costumes we've seen on screen and it's worse than the Batman costumes, which are less flattering but on the other hand are designed to conceal.
But mostly I hate the whole idea of the new Wonder Woman series. Diana McBeal, yuck.
posted by immlass at 3:30 PM on March 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
But mostly I hate the whole idea of the new Wonder Woman series. Diana McBeal, yuck.
posted by immlass at 3:30 PM on March 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
Well, it's pissed off some asshole at Fox - because Greek Amazons absolutely have to wear stars and stripes at all times - so there's that.
posted by Artw at 7:49 PM on March 18, 2011
posted by Artw at 7:49 PM on March 18, 2011
Actually I think they got their outfit changes mixed up there and re-reported old outrage.
posted by Artw at 7:54 PM on March 18, 2011
posted by Artw at 7:54 PM on March 18, 2011
In other news: DC's Blog Closes Comments, Gives Up On Even Trying To Talk to You Jerks
posted by homunculus at 9:18 AM on March 19, 2011
posted by homunculus at 9:18 AM on March 19, 2011
The late entries and honorable mentions for the Aquaman contest, some of which are quite good.
posted by Ian A.T. at 9:55 AM on March 19, 2011
posted by Ian A.T. at 9:55 AM on March 19, 2011
Geoff Johns to write new Aquaman series
“I think Aquaman is one of DC’s A-List characters, but he’s got to be treated like that,” Johns told Comic Book Resources in December. “He’s got to be showcased like that, and he’s got to kick ass like Green Lantern or Batman or the entire Justice League.”
posted by Artw at 7:13 PM on March 27, 2011
“I think Aquaman is one of DC’s A-List characters, but he’s got to be treated like that,” Johns told Comic Book Resources in December. “He’s got to be showcased like that, and he’s got to kick ass like Green Lantern or Batman or the entire Justice League.”
posted by Artw at 7:13 PM on March 27, 2011
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posted by DU at 4:49 PM on March 1, 2011 [2 favorites]