Trees cocooned in spiders webs after flooding in Sindh, Pakistan
March 31, 2011 9:50 AM Subscribe
An unexpected side-effect of the flooding in parts of Pakistan has been that millions of spiders have climbed up into trees to escape the rising flood waters, cocooning them.
They sit above you, watching and waiting from their cocooned lair, dreaming of sweet human ears to crawl into and lay their thousands of eggs.
Ya'll sleep well now.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:53 AM on March 31, 2011 [16 favorites]
Ya'll sleep well now.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:53 AM on March 31, 2011 [16 favorites]
Jibblie jibblie jibblie jibblie
Although I suppose that is rather fascinating... when nature gets all topsy turvy weird things like that tend to happen.
posted by Askiba at 9:54 AM on March 31, 2011
Although I suppose that is rather fascinating... when nature gets all topsy turvy weird things like that tend to happen.
posted by Askiba at 9:54 AM on March 31, 2011
Never going to click on those links.
I never wanted to hear about this subject.
Even being 6'5" I am so freaked out by even the mention of spiders.
posted by Slackermagee at 9:54 AM on March 31, 2011
I never wanted to hear about this subject.
Even being 6'5" I am so freaked out by even the mention of spiders.
posted by Slackermagee at 9:54 AM on March 31, 2011
I came across this in my news feed and had to send the link to someone else, because the only way to ease the horror is to pass it along. It's like the internet version of Ringu.
posted by specialagentwebb at 9:55 AM on March 31, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by specialagentwebb at 9:55 AM on March 31, 2011 [6 favorites]
time to divorce Brandon B
posted by supermedusa at 9:57 AM on March 31, 2011 [9 favorites]
posted by supermedusa at 9:57 AM on March 31, 2011 [9 favorites]
That's actually quite pretty, though I imagine that to someone who suffered from arachnophobia, the idea that that cocoon might burst open when they were walking underneath, and a million spiders would rain down on them, completely covering them in little hairy bodies which would skitter into their clothes and hair to escape the light, might be a bit unnerving.
Fortuately, I'm not arachnophobic.
posted by quin at 9:57 AM on March 31, 2011 [37 favorites]
Fortuately, I'm not arachnophobic.
posted by quin at 9:57 AM on March 31, 2011 [37 favorites]
Well. internet points for you, livejamie. This is the craziest fucking thing I will see today.
posted by Think_Long at 9:58 AM on March 31, 2011
posted by Think_Long at 9:58 AM on March 31, 2011
Nature provides: It is thought that the mosquitos are getting caught in the webs and may be reducing the risk of malaria, which would be one blessing for the people of Sindh, facing so many other hardships after the floods.
posted by chavenet at 9:59 AM on March 31, 2011 [9 favorites]
posted by chavenet at 9:59 AM on March 31, 2011 [9 favorites]
Even being 6'5" I am so freaked out by even the mention of spiders.
I'd think as one who is tall, being freaked at spiders in trees is a pretty good modus operandi
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:59 AM on March 31, 2011 [8 favorites]
I'd think as one who is tall, being freaked at spiders in trees is a pretty good modus operandi
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:59 AM on March 31, 2011 [8 favorites]
Even being 6'5" I am so freaked out by even the mention of spiders.
If you stand still for a minute they'll probably mistake you for a tree and swarm all over you and cocoon you.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:00 AM on March 31, 2011 [56 favorites]
If you stand still for a minute they'll probably mistake you for a tree and swarm all over you and cocoon you.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:00 AM on March 31, 2011 [56 favorites]
I'm not even sure they are spiders. they could be some sort of caterpillars. But I thought the same about that texas incident, and was proven wrong, so well...
posted by dhruva at 10:01 AM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by dhruva at 10:01 AM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
So like that Star Trek movie, I bet Bill Shatner won't be in this Kingdom of the Spiders reboot, either. Oh, it's not a movie?
posted by gargoyle93 at 10:03 AM on March 31, 2011
posted by gargoyle93 at 10:03 AM on March 31, 2011
This is incredibly freaking cool. Thank you.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 10:03 AM on March 31, 2011
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 10:03 AM on March 31, 2011
I like spiders. They do a lot of good and are often beautiful. I imagine the pickings are slim, ample mosquitoes notwithstanding. This is a dramatic way of illustrating the impact of a housing shortage--and a dearth of dry land--on everyone (not just spiders).
posted by kinnakeet at 10:04 AM on March 31, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by kinnakeet at 10:04 AM on March 31, 2011 [5 favorites]
I have this incredible urge for some candy floss.
posted by Decani at 10:05 AM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Decani at 10:05 AM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
Hunh. A bit like bagworms run amok and a bit like the pod-trees at the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978).
You know what is worse than finding that thousands of spiders have invaded your dresser and that, in the morning, when your eyes and mind are still fuzzy, you reach for a clear pair of underwear, that white cottony stuff you grab isn't a fresh set of britches?
Just a few spiders invading your dresser and laying imperceptible batches of eggs just like white cotton in the crotch of your actual white cotton underwear and not finding out until far later.
Tickle ... tickle ... tickle.
posted by adipocere at 10:06 AM on March 31, 2011 [4 favorites]
You know what is worse than finding that thousands of spiders have invaded your dresser and that, in the morning, when your eyes and mind are still fuzzy, you reach for a clear pair of underwear, that white cottony stuff you grab isn't a fresh set of britches?
Just a few spiders invading your dresser and laying imperceptible batches of eggs just like white cotton in the crotch of your actual white cotton underwear and not finding out until far later.
Tickle ... tickle ... tickle.
posted by adipocere at 10:06 AM on March 31, 2011 [4 favorites]
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
posted by kimota at 10:06 AM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by kimota at 10:06 AM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
God, just imagining the sound of thousands of spiders skittering through tree leaves and branches just makes my skin not so much crawl as actively attempt to leave my body.
posted by Maaik at 10:09 AM on March 31, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by Maaik at 10:09 AM on March 31, 2011 [6 favorites]
Reminds me a bit of the freak caterpillar invasion.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 10:09 AM on March 31, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 10:09 AM on March 31, 2011 [5 favorites]
Never going to click on those links.
I never wanted to hear about this subject.
Wait. Did you just rick roll us?
posted by NoMich at 10:10 AM on March 31, 2011 [19 favorites]
I never wanted to hear about this subject.
Wait. Did you just rick roll us?
posted by NoMich at 10:10 AM on March 31, 2011 [19 favorites]
God, just imagining the sound of thousands of spiders skittering through tree leaves and branches just makes my skin not so much crawl as actively attempt to leave my body.
Really? I find it worse knowing there's usually that many spiders here on the ground with us that we don't even notice.
posted by Hoopo at 10:13 AM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
Really? I find it worse knowing there's usually that many spiders here on the ground with us that we don't even notice.
posted by Hoopo at 10:13 AM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
What's really interesting is how the cocoons are coherent sheets. If each spider were opportunistically choosing anchor points you might expect a different structure.
I wonder if this is a cooperative behavior that they revert to under stress conditions.
posted by clarknova at 10:14 AM on March 31, 2011 [4 favorites]
I wonder if this is a cooperative behavior that they revert to under stress conditions.
posted by clarknova at 10:14 AM on March 31, 2011 [4 favorites]
*clicks*
DEAR GOD KILL IT WITH FIRE WE MUST SEND FLAMETHROWERS NAPALM ANYTHING
...but they also report that there are now less mosquitos than they would expect...
Oh, they're getting rid of mosquitoes? Carry on then, good spiders.
posted by Kadin2048 at 10:14 AM on March 31, 2011 [14 favorites]
DEAR GOD KILL IT WITH FIRE WE MUST SEND FLAMETHROWERS NAPALM ANYTHING
...but they also report that there are now less mosquitos than they would expect...
Oh, they're getting rid of mosquitoes? Carry on then, good spiders.
posted by Kadin2048 at 10:14 AM on March 31, 2011 [14 favorites]
That looks like the Bubble Yum factory, circa 1977.
posted by bondcliff at 10:15 AM on March 31, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by bondcliff at 10:15 AM on March 31, 2011 [5 favorites]
Stunning. Pretty cool looking, makes for a dreamy landscape to photograph. Reminds me of that caterpillar invasion in Rotterdam a few years back. It's that surreal touch.
posted by dabitch at 10:16 AM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by dabitch at 10:16 AM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
I think the reason I'm not so skeeved out is that: a) it's right next to water, so you could just jump in to wash the bastards off, and b) the trees are isolated and not in the middle of a forest or jungle.
Now, stuff in the Aamzon when they fell trees and hordes of fist-sized spiders and tree scorpions come running out? Yeah, that's some shit I want none of, none of it, you hear?
posted by yeloson at 10:21 AM on March 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
Now, stuff in the Aamzon when they fell trees and hordes of fist-sized spiders and tree scorpions come running out? Yeah, that's some shit I want none of, none of it, you hear?
posted by yeloson at 10:21 AM on March 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
Spiders continue to be quietly awesome, and those pictures are also awesome. I'd love to get up close to those trees.
Spiders are our friends, y'all. THEY EAT BUGS. The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
posted by Gator at 10:22 AM on March 31, 2011 [8 favorites]
Spiders are our friends, y'all. THEY EAT BUGS. The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
posted by Gator at 10:22 AM on March 31, 2011 [8 favorites]
Getting rid of mosquitoes!
Hooray for spiders! Our little eight-legged pals.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 10:25 AM on March 31, 2011 [8 favorites]
Hooray for spiders! Our little eight-legged pals.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 10:25 AM on March 31, 2011 [8 favorites]
I agree...until they are in my house or anywhere near me in which case I default to KILL IT KILL IT KILLIT KILLITKILLITKILLIT!
posted by maryr at 10:26 AM on March 31, 2011
posted by maryr at 10:26 AM on March 31, 2011
Interesting. I wonder what the effect on the trees will be as far as blocking sunlight and photosynthesis goes.
posted by oneirodynia at 10:28 AM on March 31, 2011
posted by oneirodynia at 10:28 AM on March 31, 2011
If you stand still for a minute they'll probably mistake you for a tree and swarm all over you and cocoon you.
You have no idea how efficient I am at my little brush-all-over-my-head-and-back jig that I do when my head hits a branch or cobweb.
posted by Slackermagee at 10:28 AM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
You have no idea how efficient I am at my little brush-all-over-my-head-and-back jig that I do when my head hits a branch or cobweb.
posted by Slackermagee at 10:28 AM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
Also: AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHH, CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY BRAIN. MUST... AVOID... TREES...
posted by Slackermagee at 10:29 AM on March 31, 2011
posted by Slackermagee at 10:29 AM on March 31, 2011
God, just imagining the sound of thousands of spiders skittering through tree leaves and branches just makes my skin not so much crawl as actively attempt to leave my body.
You're overreacting. They're actually very quiet so as not to attract the snot snakes.
posted by hal9k at 10:31 AM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
You're overreacting. They're actually very quiet so as not to attract the snot snakes.
posted by hal9k at 10:31 AM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
Interesting. I wonder what the effect on the trees will be as far as blocking sunlight and photosynthesis goes.
In tent caterpillar country (mountains of Berkshire County, MA, where I grew up) we had tent caterpillars that would not only entomb the trees, they'd eat all the leaves as well. While it would kill a few of the trees, most would survive - unless they got munched on for too many years in a row. My guess is that a temporary web covering - much of it translucent- will probably not kill any significant number of trees. I'd be more worried about heavy metal or other pollution from the floods leaching into the water table.
posted by jenkinsEar at 10:32 AM on March 31, 2011
In tent caterpillar country (mountains of Berkshire County, MA, where I grew up) we had tent caterpillars that would not only entomb the trees, they'd eat all the leaves as well. While it would kill a few of the trees, most would survive - unless they got munched on for too many years in a row. My guess is that a temporary web covering - much of it translucent- will probably not kill any significant number of trees. I'd be more worried about heavy metal or other pollution from the floods leaching into the water table.
posted by jenkinsEar at 10:32 AM on March 31, 2011
Tent caterpillars are just nasty. They kill or weaken the trees they prey on. I hear they're always hungry.
Spiders just want us to be famous and win the blue ribbon at the county fair.
posted by bonehead at 10:44 AM on March 31, 2011 [4 favorites]
Spiders just want us to be famous and win the blue ribbon at the county fair.
posted by bonehead at 10:44 AM on March 31, 2011 [4 favorites]
it's right next to water, so you could just jump in to wash the bastards off
Then again, the water's probably full of snakes.
posted by anazgnos at 10:57 AM on March 31, 2011 [12 favorites]
Then again, the water's probably full of snakes.
posted by anazgnos at 10:57 AM on March 31, 2011 [12 favorites]
Hey, what's that on your shoulder?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:58 AM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:58 AM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
Could you brush it off for me?
posted by shakespeherian at 10:59 AM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by shakespeherian at 10:59 AM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
This is just viral marketing for the movie version of "Hey, there's a spider on your back!"
God damn marketing execs!
posted by WinnipegDragon at 11:02 AM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
God damn marketing execs!
posted by WinnipegDragon at 11:02 AM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
Interesting. I wonder what the effect on the trees will be as far as blocking sunlight and photosynthesis goes.
My guess is that a temporary web covering - much of it translucent- will probably not kill any significant number of trees.
The trees will have drastically reduced photosynthesis, but it shouldn't kill most of them. Healthy trees can usually absorb a year of catastrophe: mass defoliation, extensive root damage, etc. It would be like an extremely overcast season. In later years you'll be able to spot the flood by the narrowed tree rings.
posted by clarknova at 11:03 AM on March 31, 2011
My guess is that a temporary web covering - much of it translucent- will probably not kill any significant number of trees.
The trees will have drastically reduced photosynthesis, but it shouldn't kill most of them. Healthy trees can usually absorb a year of catastrophe: mass defoliation, extensive root damage, etc. It would be like an extremely overcast season. In later years you'll be able to spot the flood by the narrowed tree rings.
posted by clarknova at 11:03 AM on March 31, 2011
Then again, the water's probably full of snakes.
No worries.
posted by sebastienbailard at 11:07 AM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
No worries.
posted by sebastienbailard at 11:07 AM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
At least they're not clock spider.
good morning
posted by saturday_morning at 11:26 AM on March 31, 2011
good morning
posted by saturday_morning at 11:26 AM on March 31, 2011
that texas incident
[clicks link]
[weeping and rocking]
posted by Ratio at 11:29 AM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
[clicks link]
[weeping and rocking]
posted by Ratio at 11:29 AM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
anything involving "millions of spiders" is just aaaaauugghghhh
posted by tehloki at 11:45 AM on March 31, 2011
posted by tehloki at 11:45 AM on March 31, 2011
My childhood fear of spiders was quickly estinguished when I hit puberty. It seems that the change in body chemistry has made me an irrestible target for mosquitos (and here in Manitoba, there are PLENTY of those).
Related tip: When going on a twilight bike ride down at the cabin... breathe through your mouth :)
posted by utsutsu at 11:51 AM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
Related tip: When going on a twilight bike ride down at the cabin... breathe through your mouth :)
posted by utsutsu at 11:51 AM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
"millions of spiders" is just aaaaauugghghhh
posted by quin at 11:51 AM on March 31, 2011 [13 favorites]
Your request for delivery of "millions of spiders" has been confirmed. We will be shipping them to your billing address immediately. Thank you for your order Mr. aaaaauugghghhh, and have a wonderful day.posted by quin at 11:51 AM on March 31, 2011 [13 favorites]
argh..... don't breathe through your mouth
posted by utsutsu at 11:58 AM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by utsutsu at 11:58 AM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
Aw, damn. I knew I should have kept my $5 to put toward therapy since I can't seem to NOT click a link, even when I know I'll regret it. (Also: COOOOOOOOOOOOOL.)
posted by pink candy floss at 12:08 PM on March 31, 2011
posted by pink candy floss at 12:08 PM on March 31, 2011
Spiders continue to be quietly awesomeI am perfectly fine with that, as long as they are quietly awesome a long way away.
But, then, that's a futile hope, because, as everyone knows, you're never more than three feet aw...
...oh. Well, then. I'll just be in the parking lot.
In the parking, lot, inside a plane.
GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF OH GOD BRANDON I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW
posted by scrump at 12:10 PM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
Abstractly, I find spiders and their webs fascinating, and I envy everyone who is able to click on any of the links in this thread. I myself will be rocking back and forth in the corner for the next few minutes at the mere thought of a concentration of spiders to this degree.
I couldn't watch this, either. Dammit, nature, why you gotta be so cool, but so creepy?
Hopefully I will have forgotten about this by Sunday, when I'm supposed to go to the Tidal Basin for the cherry blossoms.
posted by EvaDestruction at 12:13 PM on March 31, 2011
I couldn't watch this, either. Dammit, nature, why you gotta be so cool, but so creepy?
Hopefully I will have forgotten about this by Sunday, when I'm supposed to go to the Tidal Basin for the cherry blossoms.
posted by EvaDestruction at 12:13 PM on March 31, 2011
At least they're not clock spider.
shameless self link of lolsome pertinence for everyone reading this thread at work.
posted by elizardbits at 12:13 PM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
shameless self link of lolsome pertinence for everyone reading this thread at work.
posted by elizardbits at 12:13 PM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
An upshot of the massive spider-tree webs is less malaria for the locals. Malaria really sucks, so I'm glad there is a least a little good news in an otherwise squickworthy story of spider takeovers.
Another interesting example of spiders banding together, encasing trees. Pic.
Stunning. Reminds me of that caterpillar invasion in Rotterdam a few years back. It's that surreal touch.
>*Thank you* dabitch for finding that link. I was looking everywhere for it. That encased bike pic haunted me. Ewww, the car!
More amazing spider webs.
posted by nickyskye at 12:22 PM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
Another interesting example of spiders banding together, encasing trees. Pic.
Stunning. Reminds me of that caterpillar invasion in Rotterdam a few years back. It's that surreal touch.
>*Thank you* dabitch for finding that link. I was looking everywhere for it. That encased bike pic haunted me. Ewww, the car!
More amazing spider webs.
posted by nickyskye at 12:22 PM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
amazing nature is.
Hey, what's that on your shoulder?
Your headphones, the ones from Pakistan.
I worked 3 days in pest control. I arrived on the third day to do a basement in a small foreclosed bread factory.
Turned on the basement light and the floor moved.
posted by clavdivs at 12:28 PM on March 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
Hey, what's that on your shoulder?
Your headphones, the ones from Pakistan.
I worked 3 days in pest control. I arrived on the third day to do a basement in a small foreclosed bread factory.
Turned on the basement light and the floor moved.
posted by clavdivs at 12:28 PM on March 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
You know, they've actually done studies with infants and exposed them to spiders to see their reaction, in order to determine whether or not the fear of spiders is a social construct or if there's something more finely ingrained into the deepest reaches of our human consciousness. You know what happened? The infants freaked the fuck out.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 12:58 PM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 12:58 PM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
You know what happened? The infants freaked the fuck out.
Yeah, but they also freak out if you blow your nose around them, or if you dress like a clinically depressed donkey, or whatever. Scientific conclusion - babies are stupid.
posted by FatherDagon at 1:01 PM on March 31, 2011 [15 favorites]
Yeah, but they also freak out if you blow your nose around them, or if you dress like a clinically depressed donkey, or whatever. Scientific conclusion - babies are stupid.
posted by FatherDagon at 1:01 PM on March 31, 2011 [15 favorites]
Ewww, the car!
I am going to think about that once every two hours for the next twenty or so years, lose concentration, and slap myself all over muttering detached syllables, I wouldn't doubt.
What an interesting combination of fascination and horror. My rectum refuses to unclench.
posted by herbplarfegan at 1:09 PM on March 31, 2011
I am going to think about that once every two hours for the next twenty or so years, lose concentration, and slap myself all over muttering detached syllables, I wouldn't doubt.
What an interesting combination of fascination and horror. My rectum refuses to unclench.
posted by herbplarfegan at 1:09 PM on March 31, 2011
GAHHHHH! The bike's even worse! Why can't I close the browser? CLOSE THE BROWSER!!!!!! (*peeks again; has a little seizure (again))
posted by herbplarfegan at 1:10 PM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by herbplarfegan at 1:10 PM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
The infants freaked the fuck out.
I actually did this experiment. I study (selflink) spiders for a living, and now have a 5 month old daughter. I replaced one of the cute cuddly MAMMAL animals on the mobile with a rather realistic handicraft spider. I am happy to report said infant did not freak the fuck out, but the sight of a spider dangling over the crib freaked out all the visitors etc, and I had to remove it.
posted by dhruva at 1:19 PM on March 31, 2011 [18 favorites]
I actually did this experiment. I study (selflink) spiders for a living, and now have a 5 month old daughter. I replaced one of the cute cuddly MAMMAL animals on the mobile with a rather realistic handicraft spider. I am happy to report said infant did not freak the fuck out, but the sight of a spider dangling over the crib freaked out all the visitors etc, and I had to remove it.
posted by dhruva at 1:19 PM on March 31, 2011 [18 favorites]
Once when I was about High School age I was out with some friends getting really, err, high. We were walking to an arcade or something, and I was well underway in my altered experience and still climbing.
We were taking a short cut through an apartment complex and I was walking along the top of a short cinderblock wall that was maybe two or three feet tall. So far so good.
And then I walked face first into the web of a particularly large and fat common garden spider who was hanging out in a tree. Somehow that spider ended up in my mouth. I still remember how I could feel how the hairy legs and how the big, fat abdomen felt - like an unpeeled kiwi fruit, but pulsing - against my tongue and lips, how the spider was freaking out trying to escape, and how I could actually hear and feel it's frantically scrabbling legs hitting my teeth and eventually the lenses of my glasses.
No, I did not keep my cool. I practically had a seizure and fell off the wall. I was shrieking and doing the waving my arms overhead "Augh get it off get it off!" monkey dance. Thankfully the spider still had a good grip on it's web, and I remember the part where the spider was yanked out of my mouth and face as I fell.
The upshot of this horribly traumatic and chemically enhanced moment is that it seemed to mostly cure my arachnophobia. They still give me the heebie jeebies, but I'm much less likely to utterly freak out about them. In my 3rd/4th floor urban apartment I've seen exactly once small house spider in almost a year, and I was actually happy to see it. "Hey little guy. You're welcome to hang out. You should go kick it by the window that's over the trash bins in the alley. Lotta fruit flies over there!"
posted by loquacious at 1:32 PM on March 31, 2011 [22 favorites]
We were taking a short cut through an apartment complex and I was walking along the top of a short cinderblock wall that was maybe two or three feet tall. So far so good.
And then I walked face first into the web of a particularly large and fat common garden spider who was hanging out in a tree. Somehow that spider ended up in my mouth. I still remember how I could feel how the hairy legs and how the big, fat abdomen felt - like an unpeeled kiwi fruit, but pulsing - against my tongue and lips, how the spider was freaking out trying to escape, and how I could actually hear and feel it's frantically scrabbling legs hitting my teeth and eventually the lenses of my glasses.
No, I did not keep my cool. I practically had a seizure and fell off the wall. I was shrieking and doing the waving my arms overhead "Augh get it off get it off!" monkey dance. Thankfully the spider still had a good grip on it's web, and I remember the part where the spider was yanked out of my mouth and face as I fell.
The upshot of this horribly traumatic and chemically enhanced moment is that it seemed to mostly cure my arachnophobia. They still give me the heebie jeebies, but I'm much less likely to utterly freak out about them. In my 3rd/4th floor urban apartment I've seen exactly once small house spider in almost a year, and I was actually happy to see it. "Hey little guy. You're welcome to hang out. You should go kick it by the window that's over the trash bins in the alley. Lotta fruit flies over there!"
posted by loquacious at 1:32 PM on March 31, 2011 [22 favorites]
but the sight of a spider dangling over the crib freaked out all the visitors etc, and I had to remove it.
There was some drywall replaced at my office, in a storage area so the walls weren't plastered or painted. There's one exposed philips-screw-head at eye level, right next to a doorframe. I'm usually the one walking through, turning off lights at the end of the day, and after about the fifth time of jumping because some huge bug right by the door, I decided to have fun and own the scary non-spider.
So, I drew eight hairy legs and a little head on the drywall around the screw.
After over a year, people started talking to each other. Everyone was so afraid to look foolish about being scared by the little sharpie-and-philips-screw fake spider that nobody said anything. But it was succeeding, at a phenomenal rate, at scaring people. Repeatedly. Even though they know it's not real.
I still haven't told anybody that I was the one who did it. I prefer to laugh quietly to myself every time somebody comments on it.
posted by AzraelBrown at 1:46 PM on March 31, 2011 [11 favorites]
There was some drywall replaced at my office, in a storage area so the walls weren't plastered or painted. There's one exposed philips-screw-head at eye level, right next to a doorframe. I'm usually the one walking through, turning off lights at the end of the day, and after about the fifth time of jumping because some huge bug right by the door, I decided to have fun and own the scary non-spider.
So, I drew eight hairy legs and a little head on the drywall around the screw.
After over a year, people started talking to each other. Everyone was so afraid to look foolish about being scared by the little sharpie-and-philips-screw fake spider that nobody said anything. But it was succeeding, at a phenomenal rate, at scaring people. Repeatedly. Even though they know it's not real.
I still haven't told anybody that I was the one who did it. I prefer to laugh quietly to myself every time somebody comments on it.
posted by AzraelBrown at 1:46 PM on March 31, 2011 [11 favorites]
Nope. Nope nope nope.
I love spiders, because they're awesome and fascinating, I just don't want them on me without my permission.
I would have no problem with them at all if they were slow, or if they didn't have those spindly, probing legs. But they've got that damn turbo mode thing they do. In my mind, the possibility space of a spider in the corner five seconds from now extends all the way from over there to inside my face.
posted by lucidium at 1:55 PM on March 31, 2011 [5 favorites]
I love spiders, because they're awesome and fascinating, I just don't want them on me without my permission.
I would have no problem with them at all if they were slow, or if they didn't have those spindly, probing legs. But they've got that damn turbo mode thing they do. In my mind, the possibility space of a spider in the corner five seconds from now extends all the way from over there to inside my face.
posted by lucidium at 1:55 PM on March 31, 2011 [5 favorites]
Spiders's don't bother me, but those Caterpillar Infestations? DO NOT WANT. I have a phobia about caterpillars going back to my childhood, when we got a MASSIVE infestation in our area. The tree's looked very similar to the ones in the FPP. It was so bad that we didn't have outdoor recess for a while during the spring, even on nice days.
The worst was coming home from school, though. The bus used to drop about 10 of us at the top of our road (it was a small, TREE-LINED country road too small for a full size school bus). You had about 30 yards of road where the trees were set back far enough that there was no overhead canopy, but after that, welcome to Mirkwood! We all used to nervously approach the edge of the canopy, knowing that you had to RUN like the Devil was behind you, because you could HEAR the caterpillars, falling from the canopy, eating the leaves. I was one of the lucky ones-- I only had to run about a hundred yards or so-- some of the other kids had a good quarter mile or more. You had to strip out of your clothes as soon as you got home and make sure there were no caterpillars inside your clothing that had fallen on you. There were so many of them! You would look at a tree, and it seemed like the bark was moving there were so many helicopters.
To this day, I am terrified of caterpillars, and will react violently if I come into physical contact with one. You have no idea what a terror Butterfly Tunnels at Zoos are for me., especially when they build one that looks like a caterpillar? Why? Why do you do that, Zoos? It's not like my terror of Mothra as a legitimate monster isn't bad enough, I don't need you making LIFE SIZE models of the beastie.
posted by KingEdRa at 2:09 PM on March 31, 2011 [4 favorites]
The worst was coming home from school, though. The bus used to drop about 10 of us at the top of our road (it was a small, TREE-LINED country road too small for a full size school bus). You had about 30 yards of road where the trees were set back far enough that there was no overhead canopy, but after that, welcome to Mirkwood! We all used to nervously approach the edge of the canopy, knowing that you had to RUN like the Devil was behind you, because you could HEAR the caterpillars, falling from the canopy, eating the leaves. I was one of the lucky ones-- I only had to run about a hundred yards or so-- some of the other kids had a good quarter mile or more. You had to strip out of your clothes as soon as you got home and make sure there were no caterpillars inside your clothing that had fallen on you. There were so many of them! You would look at a tree, and it seemed like the bark was moving there were so many helicopters.
To this day, I am terrified of caterpillars, and will react violently if I come into physical contact with one. You have no idea what a terror Butterfly Tunnels at Zoos are for me., especially when they build one that looks like a caterpillar? Why? Why do you do that, Zoos? It's not like my terror of Mothra as a legitimate monster isn't bad enough, I don't need you making LIFE SIZE models of the beastie.
posted by KingEdRa at 2:09 PM on March 31, 2011 [4 favorites]
I once yanked open a very old double-paned window that had clearly been shut for years and swept into my FACE and HAIR a rain of dead and living spiders, roaches, crickets, flies, and other various bugs.
And that's all I can think about now.
Thanks.
posted by prefpara at 2:15 PM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
And that's all I can think about now.
Thanks.
posted by prefpara at 2:15 PM on March 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
Yeah, but they also freak out if you blow your nose around them, or if you dress like a clinically depressed donkey, or whatever. Scientific conclusion - babies are stupid.
'We've secretly replaced this child's mother with "millions of spiders". Let's see if he can tell the difference.'
posted by sebastienbailard at 2:43 PM on March 31, 2011
'We've secretly replaced this child's mother with "millions of spiders". Let's see if he can tell the difference.'
posted by sebastienbailard at 2:43 PM on March 31, 2011
I default to KILL IT KILL IT KILLIT
On the other hand, I always end up spending ages and constructing complex implements to rescue spiders and put them outside. Stranded earthworms too.
Roaches and mosquitoes? They must die. I have no idea where my priorities came from.
posted by CunningLinguist at 2:45 PM on March 31, 2011
On the other hand, I always end up spending ages and constructing complex implements to rescue spiders and put them outside. Stranded earthworms too.
Roaches and mosquitoes? They must die. I have no idea where my priorities came from.
posted by CunningLinguist at 2:45 PM on March 31, 2011
Mods, please remove Loquacious' comment. Not safe for life.
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 3:14 PM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 3:14 PM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
Holy shitsnacks!
posted by tumid dahlia at 3:41 PM on March 31, 2011
posted by tumid dahlia at 3:41 PM on March 31, 2011
Ermmm ... how do those caterpillars taste? They look nutritious, crunchy, kind of nutty. And so many of them! That would be quite a snack while watching a movie at home. Sauteed in butter, garlic, some crushed red pepper.
... what?
posted by jabberjaw at 4:22 PM on March 31, 2011
... what?
posted by jabberjaw at 4:22 PM on March 31, 2011
jabberjaw, you're disgusting!
I hate crushed red pepper.
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:30 PM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
I hate crushed red pepper.
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:30 PM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
This is the single most horrifying comment I've ever been compelled to finish reading. So, well played loquacious.
And also?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
posted by Space Kitty at 5:33 PM on March 31, 2011 [4 favorites]
And also?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
posted by Space Kitty at 5:33 PM on March 31, 2011 [4 favorites]
Screaming with your mouth open is how the spiders get in.
posted by elizardbits at 5:55 PM on March 31, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 5:55 PM on March 31, 2011 [6 favorites]
I hate crushed red pepper.
Perhaps we'll nosh on the butter-toffee variety instead.
posted by jabberjaw at 6:09 PM on March 31, 2011
Perhaps we'll nosh on the butter-toffee variety instead.
posted by jabberjaw at 6:09 PM on March 31, 2011
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Space Kitty at 6:31 PM on March 31, 2011
posted by Space Kitty at 6:31 PM on March 31, 2011
I read somewhere that average spider density was about 50,000 per acre.
Sweet dreams.
posted by bwg at 6:40 PM on March 31, 2011
Sweet dreams.
posted by bwg at 6:40 PM on March 31, 2011
I read Charlotte's Web when I was six. I cried for two days. I have not knowingly killed a spider since.
Happily, I have not developed Wilbur's love for manure.
posted by SPrintF at 7:30 PM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
Happily, I have not developed Wilbur's love for manure.
posted by SPrintF at 7:30 PM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
I love how MetaFilter does spiders more than almost anything else.
posted by you're a kitty! at 7:40 PM on March 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by you're a kitty! at 7:40 PM on March 31, 2011 [3 favorites]
Soooo, this kills the trees, right?
posted by codacorolla at 7:43 PM on March 31, 2011
posted by codacorolla at 7:43 PM on March 31, 2011
I read somewhere that average spider density was about 50,000 per acre.
you are a bad person who does bad things and should feel bad for your badness.
posted by elizardbits at 8:04 PM on March 31, 2011 [4 favorites]
you are a bad person who does bad things and should feel bad for your badness.
posted by elizardbits at 8:04 PM on March 31, 2011 [4 favorites]
Does human population density sound right at about 118 people per acre? That's what Wolfram is giving me, but I'm not sure.
Anyway, if that's true, you're constantly surrounded by about 423 spiders.
posted by codacorolla at 8:10 PM on March 31, 2011
Anyway, if that's true, you're constantly surrounded by about 423 spiders.
posted by codacorolla at 8:10 PM on March 31, 2011
Am I right in thinking that those of you freaking out about caterpillars grew up in the northeast in the late 80s/early 90s? Because at the mere mention of gypsy moths on the news one day, my Masshole college friend and I got all up in arms upset at the prospect of their return. The Californians and Southerners looked at us as if we were crazy. But then, while they were growing up, I guess they were worrying about earthquakes and hurricanes.
posted by maryr at 8:30 PM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by maryr at 8:30 PM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
Somehow that spider ended up in my mouth. I still remember how I could feel how the hairy legs and how the big, fat abdomen felt - like an unpeeled kiwi fruit, but pulsing - against my tongue and lips, how the spider was freaking out trying to escape, and how I could actually hear and feel it's frantically scrabbling legs hitting my teeth and eventually the lenses of my glasses.
my reaction to that, pretty much
posted by Ratio at 8:59 PM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
my reaction to that, pretty much
posted by Ratio at 8:59 PM on March 31, 2011 [1 favorite]
You know, you can append "m" and "s" for minutes and seconds in the YouTube timecode. So, you don't have to do #t=312s. You could also just do #t=5m16s
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 12:30 AM on April 1, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 12:30 AM on April 1, 2011 [3 favorites]
my reaction to that, pretty much
Not only is that one of the best moments in any Bugs Bunny cartoon of all time - that was nearly exactly my reaction, too. Except it was in real life and there was a spider in my mouth.
Screaming with your mouth open is how the spiders get in.
I can confirm that this is true. If I hadn't started screaming and freaking out, the spider would have probably stayed happily outside of my face holes.
posted by loquacious at 12:38 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
Not only is that one of the best moments in any Bugs Bunny cartoon of all time - that was nearly exactly my reaction, too. Except it was in real life and there was a spider in my mouth.
Screaming with your mouth open is how the spiders get in.
I can confirm that this is true. If I hadn't started screaming and freaking out, the spider would have probably stayed happily outside of my face holes.
posted by loquacious at 12:38 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
elizardbits: "I read somewhere that average spider density was about 50,000 per acre.
you are a bad person who does bad things and should feel bad for your badness"
(With ma bad self)
(With ma bad self)
Go on with ma bad self - you know it
(With ma bad self)
(With ma bad self)
posted by bwg at 6:07 AM on April 1, 2011
you are a bad person who does bad things and should feel bad for your badness"
(With ma bad self)
(With ma bad self)
Go on with ma bad self - you know it
(With ma bad self)
(With ma bad self)
posted by bwg at 6:07 AM on April 1, 2011
Spider-Land
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:22 AM on April 1, 2011
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:22 AM on April 1, 2011
My god how can this NOT have been an early April Fool's joke?
I'm still hoping.
posted by two or three cars parked under the stars at 7:36 AM on April 1, 2011
I'm still hoping.
posted by two or three cars parked under the stars at 7:36 AM on April 1, 2011
Those cocooned trees are quite beautiful. Thanks for posting this!
But I'm very glad they're on the opposite side of the fucking planet.
posted by zarq at 3:23 PM on April 4, 2011
But I'm very glad they're on the opposite side of the fucking planet.
posted by zarq at 3:23 PM on April 4, 2011
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posted by scrump at 9:53 AM on March 31, 2011 [26 favorites]