Too crazy for Jan? Impressive.
April 19, 2011 8:59 AM Subscribe
Jan Brewer, the Governor of Arizona, has vetoed the controversial 'birther bill' that would require presidential candidates to provide AZ's secretary of state with proof of citizenship before they could appear on the ballot, up to and including a 'circumcision certificate'
It's crazy that it got far enough to reach the governor's desk in the first place. WTF, Arizona?
posted by Ratio at 9:06 AM on April 19, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by Ratio at 9:06 AM on April 19, 2011 [4 favorites]
A circumcision certificate -- a document given to the parents of a male Jewish child after his foreskin is snipped off during a circumcision ceremony -- is [...] apparently enough to prove you're a U.S. citizen
They do the snipping eight days after birth, so it still doesn't prove the kid was born in the US, just that they were here eight days later.
Arizona, if you're gonna do crazy, do crazy right. Don't make me nitpick on your behalf.
posted by saturday_morning at 9:06 AM on April 19, 2011 [16 favorites]
They do the snipping eight days after birth, so it still doesn't prove the kid was born in the US, just that they were here eight days later.
Arizona, if you're gonna do crazy, do crazy right. Don't make me nitpick on your behalf.
posted by saturday_morning at 9:06 AM on April 19, 2011 [16 favorites]
This is fine, just as long as Obama doesn't get cocky and start thinking he can go driving around without his papers now.
posted by bicyclefish at 9:06 AM on April 19, 2011 [27 favorites]
posted by bicyclefish at 9:06 AM on April 19, 2011 [27 favorites]
I can only assume that somewhere there is a potential right wing candidate for the presidency at some point in the future who may not have a birth certificate. Gov. Brewer doesn't want to preemptively keep that somebody from appearing on the AZ ballot.
posted by imjustsaying at 9:07 AM on April 19, 2011
posted by imjustsaying at 9:07 AM on April 19, 2011
Huh. So there's a crazy limit after all. I wouldn't have guessed it would fall between othering brown people and checking-penis eligibility, but it's good to know it's there I guess.
posted by quin at 9:07 AM on April 19, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by quin at 9:07 AM on April 19, 2011 [3 favorites]
A circumcision certificate -- a document given to the parents of a male Jewish child after his foreskin is snipped off during a circumcision ceremony -- is [...] apparently enough to prove you're a U.S. citizen
I thought this was some kind of "No Muslims!" backdoor by people who don't know Muslims are circumcised as well?
Now I'm thinking about that Papal ritual where they hoist the Pope To Be in a chair and then make sure he's really a man after all.
posted by The Whelk at 9:09 AM on April 19, 2011 [3 favorites]
So there's a crazy limit after all.
Governor of Louisiana, Bobby Jindall, said he'd sign similar legislation. I hope he does and it becomes a constitutional issue, that would be awesome during the 2012 elections.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:11 AM on April 19, 2011 [3 favorites]
Governor of Louisiana, Bobby Jindall, said he'd sign similar legislation. I hope he does and it becomes a constitutional issue, that would be awesome during the 2012 elections.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:11 AM on April 19, 2011 [3 favorites]
Hasn't anyone read The Red President? Come on, people!
*note, I actually did read this at some point in my misbegotten youth, along with the collected works of Tom Clancy...
posted by killdevil at 9:11 AM on April 19, 2011
*note, I actually did read this at some point in my misbegotten youth, along with the collected works of Tom Clancy...
posted by killdevil at 9:11 AM on April 19, 2011
So we're not looking at candidates penises now? What am I going to do with my CockTheVote.com domain now?
posted by gc at 9:12 AM on April 19, 2011 [31 favorites]
posted by gc at 9:12 AM on April 19, 2011 [31 favorites]
I can only assume that somewhere there is a potential right wing candidate for the presidency at some point in the future who may not have a birth certificate.
It's not a hypothetical. Willard Mitt Romney has not produced his birth certificate, with his press flacks saying only that anyone can get a copy by going to the Wayne County Clerk and asking for it. By law in Michigan, only a member of the family or a representative designated by the person in question can authorize release of said certificate. Romney has not authorized it.
posted by blucevalo at 9:13 AM on April 19, 2011 [5 favorites]
It's not a hypothetical. Willard Mitt Romney has not produced his birth certificate, with his press flacks saying only that anyone can get a copy by going to the Wayne County Clerk and asking for it. By law in Michigan, only a member of the family or a representative designated by the person in question can authorize release of said certificate. Romney has not authorized it.
posted by blucevalo at 9:13 AM on April 19, 2011 [5 favorites]
So my take away from this is that Republicans are obsessed with cock? Is that correct?
posted by The Whelk at 9:13 AM on April 19, 2011 [29 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 9:13 AM on April 19, 2011 [29 favorites]
Oh my god, CockTheVote.com actually does something!
posted by gc at 9:13 AM on April 19, 2011 [7 favorites]
posted by gc at 9:13 AM on April 19, 2011 [7 favorites]
Wisely, Gov. Brewer has decided instead to push for legislation involving proof that candidates' cats have been declawed.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:14 AM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by shakespeherian at 9:14 AM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
The circumcision certificate is to ensure that the President has a covenant with the Lord as required by the constitution, right?
posted by acb at 9:14 AM on April 19, 2011 [17 favorites]
posted by acb at 9:14 AM on April 19, 2011 [17 favorites]
My takeaway is that Republicans are increasingly conflicted between placating the fringe of their base and remaining electable to middle-of-the-road and independent voters, and that, more and more, we'll see legislators (often newly-elected Tea Party types) doing crazy stuff and leaders (often executives and career politicians) undoing it.
I like the cock one better, though.
posted by box at 9:16 AM on April 19, 2011 [3 favorites]
I like the cock one better, though.
posted by box at 9:16 AM on April 19, 2011 [3 favorites]
So my take away from this is that Republicans are obsessed with cock? Is that correct?
And don't forget, terrified of breasts.
posted by notion at 9:17 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
And don't forget, terrified of breasts.
posted by notion at 9:17 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
The circumcision certificate is to ensure that the President has a covenant with the Lord as required by the constitution, right?
I think it's to verify that the president is male.
posted by Ratio at 9:17 AM on April 19, 2011 [20 favorites]
I think it's to verify that the president is male.
posted by Ratio at 9:17 AM on April 19, 2011 [20 favorites]
I thought this was some kind of "No Muslims!" backdoor by people who don't know Muslims are circumcised as well?
Jews get the aforementioned fancy certificate. Muslims don't.
posted by saturday_morning at 9:18 AM on April 19, 2011
Jews get the aforementioned fancy certificate. Muslims don't.
posted by saturday_morning at 9:18 AM on April 19, 2011
And then there's this other law that Gov. Brewer signed on Monday which somehow got ignored in much of the media coverage of her vetos: "Jan Brewer Makes it Official: Arizona Would Prefer You Not Be Gay if You Want to Adopt a Kid".
posted by Stoatfarm at 9:19 AM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Stoatfarm at 9:19 AM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
Why does the brit mila certificate example contain a quote from the Gospel of Luke?
posted by Jehan at 9:19 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Jehan at 9:19 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
As I understand it, Brewer vetoed the bill because it put candidate certification in the hands of a single individual, the Secretary of State. I have to wonder if she won't sign it into law if that part gets changed to a committee.
As to the requirement that a candidate be circumcised...W.T.F???
posted by Thorzdad at 9:19 AM on April 19, 2011
As to the requirement that a candidate be circumcised...W.T.F???
posted by Thorzdad at 9:19 AM on April 19, 2011
has anyone checked donald trump's package?
Trump: I’m ‘much bigger’ than Romney
posted by neroli at 9:19 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Trump: I’m ‘much bigger’ than Romney
posted by neroli at 9:19 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Brewer continues to oppose beheaded bodies.
posted by brain_drain at 9:19 AM on April 19, 2011
posted by brain_drain at 9:19 AM on April 19, 2011
So my take away from this is that Republicans are obsessed with cock? Is that correct?
You sir are correct. The Republicans are just furthering the Bigger Dick Theory of Warfare.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 9:20 AM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
You sir are correct. The Republicans are just furthering the Bigger Dick Theory of Warfare.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 9:20 AM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
If the current frontrunners are any indication, to run as a Republican you have to actually BE A DICK.
posted by Daddy-O at 9:20 AM on April 19, 2011
posted by Daddy-O at 9:20 AM on April 19, 2011
has anyone checked donald trump's package?
You think the merkin on his head is bad?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:21 AM on April 19, 2011 [11 favorites]
You think the merkin on his head is bad?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:21 AM on April 19, 2011 [11 favorites]
Regarding Donald "Ya Mon!" Trump: wasn't he born at "The Jamaica Hospital"? Where is his real birth certificate?
posted by iviken at 9:28 AM on April 19, 2011
posted by iviken at 9:28 AM on April 19, 2011
So how was this supposed to work if Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann ran for President?
posted by ZeusHumms at 9:31 AM on April 19, 2011
posted by ZeusHumms at 9:31 AM on April 19, 2011
anya32: "has anyone checked donald trump's package?"
EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!
posted by Splunge at 9:31 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!
posted by Splunge at 9:31 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
I hope he does and it becomes a constitutional issue, that would be awesome during the 2012 elections.
Seems like the way this legislation was drafted would have created a civil rights violation by basis of favoring Jewish men above all other candidates.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:33 AM on April 19, 2011
Seems like the way this legislation was drafted would have created a civil rights violation by basis of favoring Jewish men above all other candidates.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:33 AM on April 19, 2011
Thorzdad, the second link says that the CC would be an acceptable alternative to a birth certificate, not a requirement: "So they made some amendments: if you can't find your birth certificate, and you have a penis, a document describing your lack of foreskin will suffice."
posted by soelo at 9:33 AM on April 19, 2011
posted by soelo at 9:33 AM on April 19, 2011
So does this mean we have reached Peak Wingnut? Or are there still new heights of crazy to climb?
posted by octothorpe at 9:33 AM on April 19, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by octothorpe at 9:33 AM on April 19, 2011 [4 favorites]
As to the requirement that a candidate be circumcised...W.T.F???
That's not at all what this is. A circumcision certificate is one of a variety of forms of immediate post-birth identification which could be used to determine where, when, and to whom a candidate was born. No one is required to have one or to be circumcized, it's just an option if you don't have a birth certificate for whatever reason. I've also heard that a baptism certificate would be acceptable. It's probably too much to hope for that non-Abrahamic religions' birth rituals would be included, but it is at least theoretically possible given the theoretical aims of the bill.
This is honestly a crazy and terrible enough idea without focusing on the circumcision part.
posted by Copronymus at 9:34 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
That's not at all what this is. A circumcision certificate is one of a variety of forms of immediate post-birth identification which could be used to determine where, when, and to whom a candidate was born. No one is required to have one or to be circumcized, it's just an option if you don't have a birth certificate for whatever reason. I've also heard that a baptism certificate would be acceptable. It's probably too much to hope for that non-Abrahamic religions' birth rituals would be included, but it is at least theoretically possible given the theoretical aims of the bill.
This is honestly a crazy and terrible enough idea without focusing on the circumcision part.
posted by Copronymus at 9:34 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
And actually, I was rather shocked to find out that the majority of male infants in this country are still circumcised. I thought most educated people gave up nonreligious circumcision 30 years ago.
posted by dunkadunc at 9:34 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by dunkadunc at 9:34 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
So does this mean we have reached Peak Wingnut? Or are there still new heights of crazy to climb?
/Cliiiiimb eeeevery mountain/
posted by The Whelk at 9:35 AM on April 19, 2011 [3 favorites]
/Cliiiiimb eeeevery mountain/
posted by The Whelk at 9:35 AM on April 19, 2011 [3 favorites]
Based on the way the law was written it seemed more likely to disqualify McCain than Obama, but foresight was never the strong suit of bigots.
posted by Challahtronix at 9:36 AM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Challahtronix at 9:36 AM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
"So they made some amendments: if you can't find your birth certificate, and you have a penis, a document describing your lack of foreskin will suffice."
This is completely sensible. It's like how if I get pulled over for speeding and don't have my license, a note from my doctor saying that I'm lactose intolerant will do.
posted by heathkit at 9:42 AM on April 19, 2011 [17 favorites]
This is completely sensible. It's like how if I get pulled over for speeding and don't have my license, a note from my doctor saying that I'm lactose intolerant will do.
posted by heathkit at 9:42 AM on April 19, 2011 [17 favorites]
Mod note: few comments removed - knock it off, you have MetaTalk to talk about your wangs.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:46 AM on April 19, 2011 [26 favorites]
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:46 AM on April 19, 2011 [26 favorites]
"So they made some amendments: if you can't find your birth certificate, and you have a penis, a document describing your lack of foreskin will suffice."
So in Arizona, when a clerk asks to see ID for a credit card purchase, do people there just drop trou?
posted by gc at 9:46 AM on April 19, 2011
So in Arizona, when a clerk asks to see ID for a credit card purchase, do people there just drop trou?
posted by gc at 9:46 AM on April 19, 2011
I can only assume that somewhere there is a potential right wing candidate for the presidency at some point in the future who may not have a birth certificate. Gov. Brewer doesn't want to preemptively keep that somebody from appearing on the AZ ballot.
Schwarzenegger
posted by Billiken at 9:48 AM on April 19, 2011 [3 favorites]
Schwarzenegger
posted by Billiken at 9:48 AM on April 19, 2011 [3 favorites]
The bill would not have required that candidates be circumcised. However, it would have accepted the validity a circumcision certificate, which is a purely religious document, but not a short-form birth certificate, which is a legal document created by US states and given to people when they request their "birth certificate". This is clearly absurd and purely targeted at Obama.
I feel that even if Obama does have a copy of a long-form birth certificate, he would be a fool to make it public. There is nothing about the long-form certificate that would prove to a greater degree that he was born in the USA. Everything you need is in the short-form. The fact that people don't accept that shows that they wouldn't accept the long-form certificate either, and the whole thing is a disingenuous crusade against a black guy.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 9:49 AM on April 19, 2011 [10 favorites]
I feel that even if Obama does have a copy of a long-form birth certificate, he would be a fool to make it public. There is nothing about the long-form certificate that would prove to a greater degree that he was born in the USA. Everything you need is in the short-form. The fact that people don't accept that shows that they wouldn't accept the long-form certificate either, and the whole thing is a disingenuous crusade against a black guy.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 9:49 AM on April 19, 2011 [10 favorites]
It was vetoed when someone pointed out that this would still allow a black man to be President if he had the requisite papers. Back to the drawing board.
posted by Legomancer at 9:50 AM on April 19, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by Legomancer at 9:50 AM on April 19, 2011 [6 favorites]
We can solve this problem for future generations by branding every baby born here with "Future U.S. President?" or an American Flag.
posted by drezdn at 9:52 AM on April 19, 2011
posted by drezdn at 9:52 AM on April 19, 2011
We can solve this problem for future generations by branding every baby born here with "Future U.S. President?" or an American Flag.
Brands can be forged.
You know, the thing that most amuses me about all this SB1070 and birth certificate nonsense is that the wingnuts seem to be asking for a national ID card.
posted by kafziel at 9:55 AM on April 19, 2011 [4 favorites]
Brands can be forged.
You know, the thing that most amuses me about all this SB1070 and birth certificate nonsense is that the wingnuts seem to be asking for a national ID card.
posted by kafziel at 9:55 AM on April 19, 2011 [4 favorites]
When will the left get their act together and end the GOP's monopoly on passing insane, unconstitutional, base-pandering stunt legislation?
posted by 0xFCAF at 9:56 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by 0xFCAF at 9:56 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
They don't call Arizona the "meth lab of Democracy" for nothing
And the competition is fierce for that title.
posted by three blind mice at 9:57 AM on April 19, 2011
And the competition is fierce for that title.
posted by three blind mice at 9:57 AM on April 19, 2011
If he was born outside of the US wouldn't immigration have a record of his Mother re-entering the USA after his birth?
posted by zeoslap at 9:57 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by zeoslap at 9:57 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Brands can be forged.
That's why you get two. One on your butt and one on your face. You need to be able to present a baby picture that clearly shows the brand and has been certified by a notary.
We can even pay for it by adding "Sponsored by Gold Nugget Casino" to each brand.
posted by drezdn at 10:00 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
That's why you get two. One on your butt and one on your face. You need to be able to present a baby picture that clearly shows the brand and has been certified by a notary.
We can even pay for it by adding "Sponsored by Gold Nugget Casino" to each brand.
posted by drezdn at 10:00 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
(in best Johnnie Cochran voice)
If it looks erect, you must elect
posted by Bighappyfunhouse at 10:00 AM on April 19, 2011 [9 favorites]
If it looks erect, you must elect
posted by Bighappyfunhouse at 10:00 AM on April 19, 2011 [9 favorites]
I would find this whole thing less mindnumbingly frustrating if Obama were even 1/10th the socialist the GOP promised me he was.
posted by DU at 10:01 AM on April 19, 2011 [41 favorites]
posted by DU at 10:01 AM on April 19, 2011 [41 favorites]
If he was born outside of the US wouldn't immigration have a record of his Mother re-entering the USA after his birth?
She was smuggled inside George Soros' oversized pickernick basket.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 10:04 AM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
She was smuggled inside George Soros' oversized pickernick basket.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 10:04 AM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
What a fucking weird country this is.
posted by Liquidwolf at 10:08 AM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Liquidwolf at 10:08 AM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
This is unexpected, but pleasantly so. I never thought I'd say this, but good job, Jan Brewer.
Jim Breuer, you still need improvement.
posted by electroboy at 10:12 AM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
Jim Breuer, you still need improvement.
posted by electroboy at 10:12 AM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
Is there some sort of "how nutty can we be!?" contest running in legislatures that I didn't know about?
posted by rtha at 10:12 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by rtha at 10:12 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
I didn't see it mentioned upthread, but it's worth pointing out: Brewer has also vetoed the bill allowing guns on university and community college campuses. For the moment, it seems, Brewer is as close as Arizona has to a voice of reason. This scares the bajeezus out of me.
posted by .kobayashi. at 10:13 AM on April 19, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by .kobayashi. at 10:13 AM on April 19, 2011 [5 favorites]
Confidential to looser.requirements@az.gov, a certain senior senator has asked me to let you know that he doesn't think that he'll be testing the presidential waters any time soon, but he's flattered enough at your discreet efforts to get a peek to send you a very particular autographed 'head' shot.
posted by BrotherCaine at 10:17 AM on April 19, 2011
posted by BrotherCaine at 10:17 AM on April 19, 2011
Agh! My period!
Every fucking month ... tell me about it.
posted by Poet_Lariat at 10:19 AM on April 19, 2011 [7 favorites]
Every fucking month ... tell me about it.
posted by Poet_Lariat at 10:19 AM on April 19, 2011 [7 favorites]
You know, the thing that most amuses me about all this SB1070 and birth certificate nonsense is that the wingnuts seem to be asking for a national ID card.
A very good point. If you'll give me a moment to don my tinfoil garments... OK. The right-wing establishment is conditioning the far right to accept national ID. It's going to happen. It is far too convenient for both our corporate overlords and their burgeoning security forces. The improvements in law enforcement efficacy will be unparalleled. Once all the jails are private facilities, we will see the emergence of privatized police departments, likely starting in wealthy Floridian or Texan suburbs. Your IP address will be tied to your national ID and you will only be able to communicate with an ISP using your government issued encryption key, conveniently stored on a chip inside your national ID (I call this IPv666). Any IP infringement will be reported to your local Justice Force Corps department and fines will be assessed directly to your bank account (again, conveniently tied to your national ID). IP enforcement is the new prohibition. Eventually we'll be able to root out all the corrupting influences on our society (IBM has been working on this for a while, I think they'll get it right). Once the government can computationally identify the subversive and the unproductive they will move on to the next step in which your purchasing history, browsing habits, and social interactions are analyzed for job placement. It's all about the economy. /paranoiac
(wall of text for maximum crazy)
posted by polyhedron at 10:21 AM on April 19, 2011 [7 favorites]
A very good point. If you'll give me a moment to don my tinfoil garments... OK. The right-wing establishment is conditioning the far right to accept national ID. It's going to happen. It is far too convenient for both our corporate overlords and their burgeoning security forces. The improvements in law enforcement efficacy will be unparalleled. Once all the jails are private facilities, we will see the emergence of privatized police departments, likely starting in wealthy Floridian or Texan suburbs. Your IP address will be tied to your national ID and you will only be able to communicate with an ISP using your government issued encryption key, conveniently stored on a chip inside your national ID (I call this IPv666). Any IP infringement will be reported to your local Justice Force Corps department and fines will be assessed directly to your bank account (again, conveniently tied to your national ID). IP enforcement is the new prohibition. Eventually we'll be able to root out all the corrupting influences on our society (IBM has been working on this for a while, I think they'll get it right). Once the government can computationally identify the subversive and the unproductive they will move on to the next step in which your purchasing history, browsing habits, and social interactions are analyzed for job placement. It's all about the economy. /paranoiac
(wall of text for maximum crazy)
posted by polyhedron at 10:21 AM on April 19, 2011 [7 favorites]
"You let one of them go, but that's nothing new. Every now and then, a little victim's spared... because she smiled, cos he's got freckles, cos they begged. And that's how you live with yourself, that's how you slaughter millions, because once in a while, on a whim, if the wind's in the right direction, you happen to be kind."
Still... I guess this is good.
posted by Godspeed.You!Black.Emperor.Penguin at 10:28 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Still... I guess this is good.
posted by Godspeed.You!Black.Emperor.Penguin at 10:28 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Obama would have to be insane to do anything more than nothing on this matter. Why should he? He's already gotten the blessing of the Supreme Court. It's sewn up. Instead of defending himself, he gets to bask in the warm glow of the batshit insanity of his most rabid opponents. Instead of debating his actual, disappointing policies and his uncomfortable resemblance to Bush's governance, his most passionate enemies will spend the rest of his time in office tilting at windmills.
posted by mullingitover at 10:30 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by mullingitover at 10:30 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Arizona, you're letting me down.
Ev Mecham would have signed that in a hearbeat.
posted by mmrtnt at 10:31 AM on April 19, 2011
Ev Mecham would have signed that in a hearbeat.
posted by mmrtnt at 10:31 AM on April 19, 2011
And don't forget, terrified of breasts.
Of all the hundreds of things to criticize Ashcroft for, laughing at him for getting tired of photographers playing juvenile, "hahaha there's boobies behind your head" games has got to be the lamest. Are you trying to make me have sympathy for the guy?
posted by straight at 10:34 AM on April 19, 2011
Of all the hundreds of things to criticize Ashcroft for, laughing at him for getting tired of photographers playing juvenile, "hahaha there's boobies behind your head" games has got to be the lamest. Are you trying to make me have sympathy for the guy?
posted by straight at 10:34 AM on April 19, 2011
Oh and how's this: Half of Iowa republicans don't believe he was born in the US. None of the serious Republican candidates will touch this issue, but we have Trump screwing around with the race. If he runs third party, Obama will hardly have to campaign. They right will fracture and consume itself.
posted by mullingitover at 10:38 AM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by mullingitover at 10:38 AM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
I'm just waiting for right-wing christians to freak out about a presidential candidate who is uncircumcised.
posted by wackyvorlon at 10:44 AM on April 19, 2011
posted by wackyvorlon at 10:44 AM on April 19, 2011
I'm just waiting for right-wing christians to freak out about a presidential candidate who is uncircumcised.
Well, they are all about government cuts....
posted by jonmc at 10:50 AM on April 19, 2011 [4 favorites]
Well, they are all about government cuts....
posted by jonmc at 10:50 AM on April 19, 2011 [4 favorites]
I like the part where you need a "long form" birth certificate as proof of citizenship but Arizona does not issue that type of birth certificate. Genius.
posted by D_I at 10:52 AM on April 19, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by D_I at 10:52 AM on April 19, 2011 [6 favorites]
*shrug* it was passed by a veto proof majority in both houses. Brewer may well have vetoed this in the secure conviction that the veto will be overridd4en and thus she has both her knuckle-headed cake and eat it too. (the bill becomes law, but she doesn't appear quite as radical as she is)
posted by edgeways at 10:57 AM on April 19, 2011
posted by edgeways at 10:57 AM on April 19, 2011
[few comments removed - knock it off, you have MetaTalk to talk about your wangs.]
This. This is why jessamyn is a mod.
posted by Mental Wimp at 10:58 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
This. This is why jessamyn is a mod.
posted by Mental Wimp at 10:58 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
but we have Trump screwing around with the race. If he runs third party, Obama will hardly have to campaign. They right will fracture and consume itself.
Right now there are no less than 3 nominally republican candidates who could easily decide to run as independent. I like to imagine this keeps certain people in the GOP circles up all night with heartburn.
posted by edgeways at 11:00 AM on April 19, 2011
Right now there are no less than 3 nominally republican candidates who could easily decide to run as independent. I like to imagine this keeps certain people in the GOP circles up all night with heartburn.
posted by edgeways at 11:00 AM on April 19, 2011
Brands can be forged.
But not birth certificates, thank god.
posted by Mental Wimp at 11:03 AM on April 19, 2011
But not birth certificates, thank god.
posted by Mental Wimp at 11:03 AM on April 19, 2011
*shrug* it was passed by a veto proof majority in both houses.
According to reports, it is extremely unlikely that the veto will be overridden.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 11:08 AM on April 19, 2011
According to reports, it is extremely unlikely that the veto will be overridden.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 11:08 AM on April 19, 2011
Of all the hundreds of things to criticize Ashcroft for, laughing at him for getting tired of photographers playing juvenile, "hahaha there's boobies behind your head" games has got to be the lamest. Are you trying to make me have sympathy for the guy?
I don't remember a lot of "hahaha there's boobies behind your head" comments from reporters (or anyone else) regarding Ashcroft or prior AGs, with the exception of Ed Meese and his pornography report; it really didn't become an issue until he decided to put clothes on lady Justice. Supposedly "The attorney general was not even aware of the situation". The solution to being a laughingstock isn't to make yourself a bigger one.
posted by Challahtronix at 11:13 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
I don't remember a lot of "hahaha there's boobies behind your head" comments from reporters (or anyone else) regarding Ashcroft or prior AGs, with the exception of Ed Meese and his pornography report; it really didn't become an issue until he decided to put clothes on lady Justice. Supposedly "The attorney general was not even aware of the situation". The solution to being a laughingstock isn't to make yourself a bigger one.
posted by Challahtronix at 11:13 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
(wall of text for maximum crazy)
Needs more ALL CAPS at RANDOM INTERVALS.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:13 AM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
Needs more ALL CAPS at RANDOM INTERVALS.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:13 AM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
(wall of text for maximum crazy)
Not enough random capitalization.
posted by KingEdRa at 11:15 AM on April 19, 2011
Not enough random capitalization.
posted by KingEdRa at 11:15 AM on April 19, 2011
So in Arizona, when a clerk asks to see ID for a credit card purchase, do people there just drop trou?
Sir! That is not what collateral means!
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:18 AM on April 19, 2011
Sir! That is not what collateral means!
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:18 AM on April 19, 2011
[few comments removed - knock it off, you have MetaTalk to talk about your wangs.]
Ok, I'll admit it, the brief urge to do a stunt post about Wang computers, and my desire to own one, flitted across the periphery of my self-control for an instant before I crushed it down.
posted by quin at 11:26 AM on April 19, 2011
Ok, I'll admit it, the brief urge to do a stunt post about Wang computers, and my desire to own one, flitted across the periphery of my self-control for an instant before I crushed it down.
posted by quin at 11:26 AM on April 19, 2011
I'm going out on a limb here and suggesting that Trump is a true patriot.
After recognizing the real and certain damage done to this republic since R.R. and continuing through Bush 2, The Donald has taken it upon himself to insure the reelection of a relatively sane president by injecting himself into the 2112 race as the proverbial rabbit.
No? Oh well. At least 2112 will be entertaining. In a masochistic sort of way.
posted by notreally at 11:46 AM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
At least 2112 will be entertaining.
Attention all Planets of the Solar Federation
Attention all Planets of the Solar Federation
Attention all Planets of the Solar Federation
We have assumed control
We have assumed control
We have assumed control
posted by the_artificer at 11:57 AM on April 19, 2011 [4 favorites]
Attention all Planets of the Solar Federation
Attention all Planets of the Solar Federation
Attention all Planets of the Solar Federation
We have assumed control
We have assumed control
We have assumed control
posted by the_artificer at 11:57 AM on April 19, 2011 [4 favorites]
At least 2112 will be entertaining.
It was but I preffered Moving Pictures.
posted by jonmc at 11:58 AM on April 19, 2011 [3 favorites]
It was but I preffered Moving Pictures.
posted by jonmc at 11:58 AM on April 19, 2011 [3 favorites]
has anyone checked donald trump's package?
Given the public dick he's been I'd think no checking is needed.
posted by rough ashlar at 12:05 PM on April 19, 2011
Given the public dick he's been I'd think no checking is needed.
posted by rough ashlar at 12:05 PM on April 19, 2011
At least 2112 will be entertaining.
It was but I preffered Moving Pictures.
Poser.
posted by NoMich at 12:09 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
It was but I preffered Moving Pictures.
Poser.
posted by NoMich at 12:09 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
talk about your wangs
Its not been 20 years from the date when Wang Laboratories filed for bankruptcy protection so talking about our Wangs seems a tad early.
But come Aug 2012 I'm guessing some Wang talk will be a change of pace over the election BS.
posted by rough ashlar at 12:11 PM on April 19, 2011
Its not been 20 years from the date when Wang Laboratories filed for bankruptcy protection so talking about our Wangs seems a tad early.
But come Aug 2012 I'm guessing some Wang talk will be a change of pace over the election BS.
posted by rough ashlar at 12:11 PM on April 19, 2011
Does this mean that republicans see female circumcision as possibly a necessity for elected female officials?
posted by blue_beetle at 12:14 PM on April 19, 2011
posted by blue_beetle at 12:14 PM on April 19, 2011
Sorry, still not Numberwang! Rotate the stage!
posted by briank at 12:25 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by briank at 12:25 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
...you will only be able to communicate with an ISP using your government issued encryption key, conveniently stored on a chip inside your national ID (I call this IPv666).
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Hold me. I'm scared...
posted by Splunge at 12:30 PM on April 19, 2011
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Hold me. I'm scared...
posted by Splunge at 12:30 PM on April 19, 2011
In further news, Calvin Cooledge was really born in Maryland.
posted by clavdivs at 12:42 PM on April 19, 2011
posted by clavdivs at 12:42 PM on April 19, 2011
I can only assume that somewhere there is a potential right wing candidate for the presidency at some point in the future who may not have a birth certificate. Gov. Brewer doesn't want to preemptively keep that somebody from appearing on the AZ ballot.
Schwarzenegger
I guess it's really too much to hope that the people of this nation would be too smart to elect him President after he ran the State of California into the ground.
posted by elsietheeel at 12:46 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Schwarzenegger
I guess it's really too much to hope that the people of this nation would be too smart to elect him President after he ran the State of California into the ground.
posted by elsietheeel at 12:46 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
California is running California into the ground. Really easy to pass laws, really hard to raise taxes to pay for those laws.
posted by electroboy at 12:50 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by electroboy at 12:50 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
This really perplexes me. Are these wackjob Arizonans truly unaware that a whole lot of Southern white Christian males of a certain age -- like probably many of the current Congresspersons born before 1970 -- are uncircumcised?
posted by FelliniBlank at 1:26 PM on April 19, 2011
posted by FelliniBlank at 1:26 PM on April 19, 2011
So how was this supposed to work if Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann ran for President?
That was the first question that popped into my head-- they have no provision for women who have lost their birth certificate. Without a penis you can't provide a circumcision certificate OR describe your penis. Jan Brewer might have been thinking about her own future.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 1:28 PM on April 19, 2011
That was the first question that popped into my head-- they have no provision for women who have lost their birth certificate. Without a penis you can't provide a circumcision certificate OR describe your penis. Jan Brewer might have been thinking about her own future.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 1:28 PM on April 19, 2011
a whole lot of Southern white Christian males of a certain age -- like probably many of the current Congresspersons born before 1970 -- are uncircumcised?
I don't know what evidence you have of this. My husband born in NC in 1968 to fervent Southern Baptists was circumcised.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 1:31 PM on April 19, 2011
I don't know what evidence you have of this. My husband born in NC in 1968 to fervent Southern Baptists was circumcised.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 1:31 PM on April 19, 2011
Please read Copronymus's post above.
THIS LAW DOES NOT DEMAND THAT EVERY CANDIDATE BE CIRCUMCISED.
It is batshit crazy -- totally, utterly batshit crazy -- but it is not about assuring that candidate are male and have their foreskins clipped. It's a different kind of batshit crazy.
posted by neroli at 2:58 PM on April 19, 2011
THIS LAW DOES NOT DEMAND THAT EVERY CANDIDATE BE CIRCUMCISED.
It is batshit crazy -- totally, utterly batshit crazy -- but it is not about assuring that candidate are male and have their foreskins clipped. It's a different kind of batshit crazy.
posted by neroli at 2:58 PM on April 19, 2011
So, why ask if a candidate is circumcised at all? The legislation lately is, like, a new breed of crazy.
posted by mccarty.tim at 3:19 PM on April 19, 2011
posted by mccarty.tim at 3:19 PM on April 19, 2011
So, why ask if a candidate is circumcised at all?
It doesn't ask.
"Senators accepted an amendment by Sen. Frank Antenori, R-Tucson, for alternatives for those who are legally qualified but do not have such a document. Instead, a candidate could produce a baptismal or circumcision certificate, a hospital birth record, a postpartum medical record or an early census record."
It just adds a "circumcision certificate" as an acceptable form of identification.
The bill neither requires circumcision nor requires any dicussion of the state of the candidate's wang (or lack thereof). People have gone wayyy off the road on this one.
As other have said, the bill is crazy enough without misreading it.
posted by wildcrdj at 3:34 PM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
It doesn't ask.
"Senators accepted an amendment by Sen. Frank Antenori, R-Tucson, for alternatives for those who are legally qualified but do not have such a document. Instead, a candidate could produce a baptismal or circumcision certificate, a hospital birth record, a postpartum medical record or an early census record."
It just adds a "circumcision certificate" as an acceptable form of identification.
The bill neither requires circumcision nor requires any dicussion of the state of the candidate's wang (or lack thereof). People have gone wayyy off the road on this one.
As other have said, the bill is crazy enough without misreading it.
posted by wildcrdj at 3:34 PM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
As other have said, the bill is crazy enough without misreading it.
It is honestly kind of amazing that someone passed the equivalent of the Bill to Make Sure Future NASA Missions Actually Go Into Space, and most people seem to be overestimating how crazy it is.
Way to go, Tea Party, everyone thinks you're the circumcision police. I can't say you haven't earned it.
posted by Copronymus at 3:54 PM on April 19, 2011 [3 favorites]
It is honestly kind of amazing that someone passed the equivalent of the Bill to Make Sure Future NASA Missions Actually Go Into Space, and most people seem to be overestimating how crazy it is.
Way to go, Tea Party, everyone thinks you're the circumcision police. I can't say you haven't earned it.
posted by Copronymus at 3:54 PM on April 19, 2011 [3 favorites]
[few comments removed - knock it off, you have MetaTalk to talk about your wangs.]
I couldn't find the wang thread.
posted by MikeMc at 4:18 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
I couldn't find the wang thread.
posted by MikeMc at 4:18 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Agh! My period!
So, a couple weeks ago, the joke on 30 Rock was that The Girlie Show just did a bunch of sketches with the same format: prominent female figure or politician is in important situation, screams out "Agh! My period!" and then, in the throws of menstruation, causes catastrophe.
So, that sure put this post in a different light!
posted by meese at 4:46 PM on April 19, 2011
So, a couple weeks ago, the joke on 30 Rock was that The Girlie Show just did a bunch of sketches with the same format: prominent female figure or politician is in important situation, screams out "Agh! My period!" and then, in the throws of menstruation, causes catastrophe.
So, that sure put this post in a different light!
posted by meese at 4:46 PM on April 19, 2011
Ok, I'll admit it, the brief urge to do a stunt post about Wang computers
years ago, late 80s I guess when Wang was on the downwards path, the business section of The Age ran an article headlined "Wang Softens".
posted by russm at 6:02 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
years ago, late 80s I guess when Wang was on the downwards path, the business section of The Age ran an article headlined "Wang Softens".
posted by russm at 6:02 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
quin writes "Ok, I'll admit it, the brief urge to do a stunt post about Wang computers, and my desire to own one, flitted across the periphery of my self-control for an instant before I crushed it down."
I owned a Wang mini for a while where mini denotes a computer, drive array and terminal weighing in around 1000lbs. It was totally awesome in a tee hee geek sort of way.
posted by Mitheral at 6:11 PM on April 19, 2011
I owned a Wang mini for a while where mini denotes a computer, drive array and terminal weighing in around 1000lbs. It was totally awesome in a tee hee geek sort of way.
posted by Mitheral at 6:11 PM on April 19, 2011
wow, look how small your wang discussion is
posted by fallacy of the beard at 8:00 PM on April 19, 2011
posted by fallacy of the beard at 8:00 PM on April 19, 2011
I used to know a couple who put her name first in the hyphenated surname because Steele-Wang was just not going to fly without serious giggling.
I still wonder why those monitors on the end of ergonomic arms didn't catch on. That was a fantastic idea. Fully adjustable, and a desk surface in front of you that you could actually work on. I mean, they have them now for flat screens, but you'd think it'd have been the default.
I'm also wondering when we'll get sub-retina display densities and giant magnifying glasses like in Brazil.
posted by BrotherCaine at 12:49 AM on April 20, 2011
I still wonder why those monitors on the end of ergonomic arms didn't catch on. That was a fantastic idea. Fully adjustable, and a desk surface in front of you that you could actually work on. I mean, they have them now for flat screens, but you'd think it'd have been the default.
I'm also wondering when we'll get sub-retina display densities and giant magnifying glasses like in Brazil.
posted by BrotherCaine at 12:49 AM on April 20, 2011
I used to know a couple who put her name first in the hyphenated surname because Steele-Wang was just not going to fly without serious giggling.
Is Wang-Steele really that much better?
posted by dialetheia at 1:54 AM on April 20, 2011
Is Wang-Steele really that much better?
posted by dialetheia at 1:54 AM on April 20, 2011
Obama would have to be insane to do anything more than nothing on this matter. Why should he? He's already gotten the blessing of the Supreme Court. It's sewn up. Instead of defending himself, he gets to bask in the warm glow of the batshit insanity of his most rabid opponents. Instead of debating his actual, disappointing policies and his uncomfortable resemblance to Bush's governance, his most passionate enemies will spend the rest of his time in office tilting at windmills.
Agreed. They have come up with one of their trademark unfalsifiable conspiracies. He could show up with a video, and they will say it is fake.
In other words, do not promise crazy a baby. Don't fuel the fire.
Even if Obama IS a secret Muslim, it doesn't matter. He passed the constitutionally mandated checks and balances and got on the ballot in all the states.
posted by gjc at 5:27 AM on April 20, 2011 [1 favorite]
Agreed. They have come up with one of their trademark unfalsifiable conspiracies. He could show up with a video, and they will say it is fake.
In other words, do not promise crazy a baby. Don't fuel the fire.
Even if Obama IS a secret Muslim, it doesn't matter. He passed the constitutionally mandated checks and balances and got on the ballot in all the states.
posted by gjc at 5:27 AM on April 20, 2011 [1 favorite]
Heard a good birther rant yesterday on the radio. Not sure if this is a new theme, or an old one:
Michelle was unimpressed with "Barry" and his ability to provide millions for her. So she got Penny Pritzger to fund a background cleansing campaign, so that "Barry" could run for offices and if not directly earn the big bucks, at least have some power that Michelle could control.
These conspiracies are like passion plays. Hit the themes, hit the marks, solidify the impression. It's got uppity negros, dopey men being propelled by their upwardly-mobile-hopeful wives, jewish bankers wielding power from behind the scenes. All that's missing is Angela Lansbury in a Queen of Diamonds costume.
posted by gjc at 5:35 AM on April 20, 2011 [1 favorite]
Michelle was unimpressed with "Barry" and his ability to provide millions for her. So she got Penny Pritzger to fund a background cleansing campaign, so that "Barry" could run for offices and if not directly earn the big bucks, at least have some power that Michelle could control.
These conspiracies are like passion plays. Hit the themes, hit the marks, solidify the impression. It's got uppity negros, dopey men being propelled by their upwardly-mobile-hopeful wives, jewish bankers wielding power from behind the scenes. All that's missing is Angela Lansbury in a Queen of Diamonds costume.
posted by gjc at 5:35 AM on April 20, 2011 [1 favorite]
GOP Gov. Brewer Slams Birtherism As 'Leading Our Country Down A Path Of Destruction'
Strange. Maybe the Tea Party isn't polling so well these days.
posted by electroboy at 9:21 AM on April 26, 2011
Strange. Maybe the Tea Party isn't polling so well these days.
posted by electroboy at 9:21 AM on April 26, 2011
There's a whole discussion going on over on the Volokh Conspiracy that started out being about political conspiracies and has become all about birtherism. I've never really read a pro/con birther thread on the internet, and I'm finding it both horrifying and hilarious.
posted by rtha at 10:38 AM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by rtha at 10:38 AM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
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it was there when i previewed, i swear
posted by FatherDagon at 9:03 AM on April 19, 2011 [4 favorites]