The Fast and the Furryous

May 4, 2011 6:01 AM

"If you've never heard of this game, it is simply the best bear-driving simulator ever made. It's also the most accurate." Let's Play Enviro-Bear 2000: Operation: Hibernation

Born in the wilds of TIGSource during a particularly harsh Cockpit Compo, Enviro-Bear is the rarest of breeds: an overpunctuated one-armed bear-based physics-based ecological driving simulator. In an urgent, drowsy stupor, Enviro-Bear's instinctive quest is to gather fish and berries by driving his Ford Escort through ponds and bushes, while guarding the car's plush interior (and his own plush exterior) from the hazards of badgers, bees, and other bears driving other cars.

Enviro-Bear is an interactive documentary by Justin Smith of Captain Games, whose other games include So Long Oregon, Let's Go Find El Dorado.

Freeware Windows download at Game Jolt. There is an mobile version, Enviro-Bear 2010, for iOS and Android.

Colorado wildlife expert Tyler Baskfield said bears often entered cars and houses in search of food. "It happens all the time," he said. "They're very smart."

posted by oulipian (25 comments total)

any fish in those portals? no? lame.
posted by victors at 6:08 AM on May 4, 2011

In the old days of the explorers "So Long Oregon" went by a different name...
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 6:12 AM on May 4, 2011

There are some odd games being made.
posted by Ritchie at 6:27 AM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

I love you and I hate you for the title of this post.
posted by OmieWise at 6:29 AM on May 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

I watched about two seconds of the gameplay video and could not scramble my phone out of my phone fast enough. BUY! BUY! BUY!
posted by dirtdirt at 6:38 AM on May 4, 2011

Amazing game. Bears also eat mushrooms, keep your eyes open for one...
posted by davemee at 6:42 AM on May 4, 2011

Bears also eat mushrooms

Not until I've finished all my work and go up to the cabin.

Wait what?
posted by The Whelk at 6:56 AM on May 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

The only thing that could make that video funnier would be if it were being demo'd by an actual bear.
posted by DU at 6:58 AM on May 4, 2011

Calling Roger Ebert... are you seeing this?
posted by victors at 7:10 AM on May 4, 2011 [11 favorites]

the Android version does all sorts of weird things to my phone. The first time I launched it my phone stopped responding and I had to pull its battery. The second time it crashed and made my phone super laggy.

sadface
posted by xbonesgt at 7:14 AM on May 4, 2011

everybody knows that driving bears don't use android
posted by fallacy of the beard at 7:17 AM on May 4, 2011 [5 favorites]

Perhaps your phone is hibernating? Try putting some salmon in the battery compartment.
posted by zippy at 7:22 AM on May 4, 2011 [7 favorites]

All I could think of was The Far Side of course.
posted by inthe80s at 7:36 AM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'm not much of a gamer so my first impression of this is "there's a bear-driving simulator genre?"
posted by tommasz at 7:52 AM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

i'm not a gamer at all, so i thought i would be able to drive a different kind of bear and that there might be leather involved.
posted by fallacy of the beard at 7:59 AM on May 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

Who's driving? Oh my god, bear is driving! How can that be?!
posted by knilstad at 7:59 AM on May 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

"simply the best bear-driving simulator ever made"

That's kind of like calling Dead Snow the best Nazi zombie film to ever come out of Norway.

I know because I've done that.
posted by Naberius at 8:03 AM on May 4, 2011

BADGER!
posted by mrgrimm at 8:09 AM on May 4, 2011

I'm now a game designer, working on my first game. Sometimes I want to throw it all away and just put out a game like this, because you know just how much fun they had doing it.
posted by Brainy at 8:57 AM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Whoa, in the iOS version, when you eat mushrooms, everything looks so real. No, seriously, try it.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 8:59 AM on May 4, 2011

While not comercially viable (yet), I bet he still won a bar bet he made with somebody.

This idea was not devised by the sober - Implemented probably (mostly) sober, but not conceptualized.
posted by Nanukthedog at 10:05 AM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

I for one regret when serious issues such as the lack of freely available access to ursine appropriate transportation becomes the subject of a "humorous" computer game.



Also, I am rubbish at it but my nieces love it :(
posted by fallingbadgers at 10:28 AM on May 4, 2011

I got this a couple of years ago. I liked how commenters on iTunes were complaining about how difficult the controls were, and others were saying, "Of course it's hard, it's a BEAR DRIVING A CAR."
posted by fungible at 10:57 AM on May 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

This is the best thing. I love how the bear's eye follows the hand around.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 1:13 PM on May 4, 2011

I usually describe Aguille: The Wrath of God as the best movie about German-speaking Spanish conquistadors ever made.
posted by kaibutsu at 12:18 AM on May 5, 2011