Welcome to the limit

August 16, 2012 3:05 PM

A horse takes it to the limit.
posted by codacorolla (131 comments total)

"Breaking Bad" starring Mister Ed.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 3:12 PM on August 16, 2012

This post was deleted for the following reasons: what
posted by jimmythefish at 3:13 PM on August 16, 2012 [21 favorites]

Some sort of Grand Theft Auto/Red Dead Redemption mashup, I'm guessing.
posted by King Bee at 3:15 PM on August 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

Delivers as labeled.
posted by gwint at 3:15 PM on August 16, 2012 [3 favorites]

Should've worn a seatbelt there, dude.
posted by elizardbits at 3:16 PM on August 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

Also the dressage tag is what really brings this all together.
posted by elizardbits at 3:16 PM on August 16, 2012 [50 favorites]

It's like Family Guy says: Horses are terrible people.
posted by thewumpusisdead at 3:17 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

what the hell did I just watch
sinphoenix 5 hours ago

Reply
a hors pushin it to the limit
Kocayine in reply to sinphoenix 4 hours ago
posted by eugenen at 3:17 PM on August 16, 2012 [8 favorites]

Ladies and gentlemen, the august best post contest has been won.
posted by winna at 3:17 PM on August 16, 2012 [39 favorites]

this is just that sorta day
posted by TwelveTwo at 3:17 PM on August 16, 2012

At least it had a happy ending!
posted by mazola at 3:22 PM on August 16, 2012

This post was deleted for the following reasons: Why?
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 3:23 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

"Grand Theft Auto: The Ballad of Gay Pony"

Youtube comments are proof of chaos theory.
posted by lattiboy at 3:24 PM on August 16, 2012 [5 favorites]

Too much horsepower.
posted by cyberscythe at 3:25 PM on August 16, 2012 [8 favorites]

Horses are dicks what more proof do you need
posted by found missing at 3:25 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

Oh, that's why they cancelled Luck
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:26 PM on August 16, 2012 [3 favorites]

No description available possible.
posted by trip and a half at 3:27 PM on August 16, 2012 [8 favorites]

no no, PONIES are dicks. Full heighted horses are occasionally jerks, but the real dicks of the equine world are their relatives who are less than 14.2 hands at the withers.
posted by winna at 3:27 PM on August 16, 2012 [4 favorites]

The rare, good YouTube comment:

There is the cat part of youtube, the gross part, the girls shaking their ass part...
... and then this...
posted by brundlefly at 3:28 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be. You need horses like me. You need horses like me so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say, "That's the bad guy!"
posted by dephlogisticated at 3:29 PM on August 16, 2012 [7 favorites]

PONIES are dicks

Louis CK agrees

posted by found missing at 3:31 PM on August 16, 2012 [4 favorites]

TELL US THE BAD PONY STORY AGAIN WINNA
posted by elizardbits at 3:35 PM on August 16, 2012

This had me crying laughing. To quote YouTube commenter sinphoenix, "what the hell did i just watch"
posted by stellaluna at 3:35 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

It would have been better if horses were driving the police cars too.
posted by KokuRyu at 3:37 PM on August 16, 2012

Nope...Chuck Testa
posted by kenaldo at 3:37 PM on August 16, 2012 [5 favorites]

What, no Trigger warnings?
posted by peeedro at 3:40 PM on August 16, 2012 [70 favorites]

It would have been better if horses were driving the police cars too.

That would be preposterous!
posted by TwelveTwo at 3:45 PM on August 16, 2012 [5 favorites]

It's got a horse motor, 440 cubic inch hooves, it's got horse tires, horse suspension, horse shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular hay.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 3:45 PM on August 16, 2012 [11 favorites]

I shall tell a more different bad pony story, featuring the same wicked pony!

So my pony hated me and she would try to scrape me off on walls and rocks and trees and things, and she would step on my feet and grind her pony hoof on my foot. This was amusing to me because she suited me perfectly.

But I had a neighbor who longed with all his heart to play cowboys. Naturally one must have a cow horse for the purposes of ropin' the steers, represented by myself and other neighborhood children by mooing vigorously and holding our hands to our heads for horns! So he was all up on my pony, drawling in John Wayne style when she decided she did not want to play this game. She took off with a heretofore unsuspected fleetness.

Unfortunately I had not yet fully comprehended the subtle evil of her mind, so I hadn't done the thing that one MUST do with horses, which is walk them around once you have strapped their saddle to them and then tighten it again, so as to prevent them from holding their breath when you saddle them and causing the saddle to slip. Alack!

In consequence as my friend was born swiftly toward the pasture he tilted a little, then more, then SWOOSH he shot off her side as the saddle slipped, right into a prickly bush like a basketball into the hoop touching nothing but net. The INSTANT he was off her back she stopped dead and started to munch on grass, swishing her tail and taunting him with her sudden docility.

We were not allowed to play cowboys any more. It was okay for me to risk my neck gallomping around the countryside on a fiend in pony shape, but potentially killing my playmates was ruled not to be on the board.
posted by winna at 3:50 PM on August 16, 2012 [18 favorites]

I had to wipe my computer screen off after I spit my drink all over it. I couldn't take it anymore when the horse was flying through the park.
posted by gagglezoomer at 3:57 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

For me I lost it when, on the third viewing, I realized that the horse was shooting at people.
posted by winna at 3:58 PM on August 16, 2012 [4 favorites]

I broke out in a full body sweat trying not to bust out laughing at my desk. All five times.
posted by El Sabor Asiatico at 3:59 PM on August 16, 2012 [8 favorites]

i seriously think i am about to get fired for having laughed uncontrollably and to the point of shedding tears for the last 12 minutes at this.

and it will be WORTH IT.
posted by hollisimo at 4:03 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

Also I am going to pretend that the horse then swam out to his yacht and hung out all night with celebrities drinking Dos Equus and flirting with attractive young people.
posted by winna at 4:08 PM on August 16, 2012 [8 favorites]

Also, I like the youtube comments:

"What the hell did I just watch?"

Reply: "A hors [sic] pushing it to the limit"
posted by gagglezoomer at 4:08 PM on August 16, 2012

This sort of thing might be weird in GTA world. But THIS guy spent his days in Saints Row territory!
posted by bigendian at 4:08 PM on August 16, 2012

My Little Pony: Hit and Run is Magic
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:10 PM on August 16, 2012 [8 favorites]

Ah, ketamine. Hell of a drug.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:12 PM on August 16, 2012 [4 favorites]

This is the best thing I've ever seen
posted by memebake at 4:14 PM on August 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

This is the perfect complement to the Brakhage post.
posted by mr_roboto at 4:14 PM on August 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

YES
posted by Sys Rq at 4:14 PM on August 16, 2012

a hors pushin it to the limit

Blue Hors Matine pushin it to the limit
posted by illenion at 4:19 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'll just leave this here
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 4:21 PM on August 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

TwelveTwo: "It would have been better if horses were driving the police cars too.

That would be preposterous"

Yes, the police cars should obviously have been driven by pigs.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 4:22 PM on August 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

wilbur, i TOLD you all that peanut butter was going to drive me crazy one day
posted by pyramid termite at 4:22 PM on August 16, 2012

Achievment Unlocked: Taking The Reins.
posted by sourwookie at 4:22 PM on August 16, 2012

Wow, I didn't realize that Red Dead Redemption was such a cool game!
posted by Nomyte at 4:25 PM on August 16, 2012

After reading the news today, this is exactly what I needed.
posted by furnace.heart at 4:26 PM on August 16, 2012

So, cute video aside, what happened to that horse?
posted by cashman at 4:26 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

And people thought I was a wimp for being a bronie.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 4:26 PM on August 16, 2012

it's not fun, and it's not funny
posted by beukeboom at 4:26 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

This is more realistic
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 4:28 PM on August 16, 2012

I was completely prepared to hate this. Instead I laughed until I had tears streaming down my cheeks.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:30 PM on August 16, 2012

it's not fun, and it's not funny

True. I know we're all giggling, but let us be serious: equines driving around running over pedestrians and shooting at them is not funny. Every year, people numbering in the square root of negative ones are killed by reckless horse drivers.

Please, people. Don't support this kind of irresponsible behavior. Condemn horse joyriders in the strongest possible terms on all occasions.

this message sponsored by people against equine motorists
posted by winna at 4:32 PM on August 16, 2012 [9 favorites]

Say what you will about equine motorists, I'll let them have their cars, and their joyrides and their reckless outings, but they aren't getting no goddamn votin rights


this is a civilized country!
posted by TwelveTwo at 4:34 PM on August 16, 2012

How can you possibly stop them without mandatory voter ID laws? Horses can just roll into our polling places and claim to be anyone and place votes just like they were people!
posted by winna at 4:36 PM on August 16, 2012

Mitt Romney was really hoping this video wouldn't leak
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 4:44 PM on August 16, 2012 [3 favorites]

He's not a horse...



...he's a jackass.



YEAAAAAAAAAH
posted by Condroidulations! at 4:45 PM on August 16, 2012 [3 favorites]

When asked to comment on the video of his reckless driving spree, horse_ebooks simply replied, "BUTT LEG." After some additional reflection, he continued: "I LL SHOW YOU ALL MY BALLOON"
posted by naju at 4:50 PM on August 16, 2012 [5 favorites]

That horse did about as well as could be expected.
posted by "But who are the Chefs?" at 5:00 PM on August 16, 2012

Well, the horse certainly is no Toonces.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:01 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

That horse.
He is on the highway.
Right into the Danger Zone.
posted by Catch at 5:04 PM on August 16, 2012 [4 favorites]

Also I am going to pretend that the horse then swam out to his yacht and hung out all night with celebrities drinking Dos Equus and flirting with attractive young people.

Well, now I can't stop thinking of this.
posted by mykescipark at 5:06 PM on August 16, 2012

I don't get it. Isn't this just a video of a common scene most of us see every single day? Wake up, swallow handful of pills from that bag you found, go outside, see horse driving poorly, get coffee, go to park, scream at pigeons, defecate. Nothin more American than that!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:07 PM on August 16, 2012 [12 favorites]

"Oh, look! There's a dog driving a bus!"
posted by "But who are the Chefs?" at 5:09 PM on August 16, 2012

What I love about this is that it's a morality tale. The horse pushed it to the limit, but then he took it one step more, and he was finished.
posted by El Sabor Asiatico at 5:10 PM on August 16, 2012 [8 favorites]

I haven't read it, but I bet this isn't on that list of things fifth-graders predicted about the internet.
posted by "But who are the Chefs?" at 5:13 PM on August 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

I don't get it. Isn't this just a video of a common scene most of us see every single day? Wake up, swallow handful of pills from that bag you found, go outside, see horse driving poorly, get coffee, go to park, scream at pigeons, defecate. Nothin more American than that!

Surely it's not pills, but liquor you found in the trash?
posted by winna at 5:14 PM on August 16, 2012

I am not in danger--I am the danger. A horse leaves this stable and gets trampled, you think that is me? No, I am the one that tramples!
posted by Cash4Lead at 5:21 PM on August 16, 2012 [5 favorites]

I would play *way* more video games if they were all like this.
posted by grapesaresour at 5:22 PM on August 16, 2012

I think we all learned something today.

You can take it to the limit.
posted by TwelveTwo at 5:22 PM on August 16, 2012

More horse hijinks.
posted by maryr at 5:25 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

pass the hors d'rivres
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:28 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

Well, now I can't stop thinking of this.

Woody Allen looks exactly the same now as he ever did. It's like the portrait of Dorian Gray.
posted by winna at 5:29 PM on August 16, 2012

I would play *way* more video games if they were all like this.

You are in luck!
posted by TwelveTwo at 5:30 PM on August 16, 2012 [6 favorites]

That was way funnier than it should have been.
posted by deborah at 5:33 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

Web 1.0 was way closer to the limit
posted by es_de_bah at 5:36 PM on August 16, 2012

I laughed lots and lots. Thank you. I especially like that some thought clearly went into editing this; the frictionless horse tumbling through the air at the end is especially pleasing. Clearly I'm thinking too much about this.
posted by Frobenius Twist at 5:38 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

Oh, that's why they cancelled Luck

As it happens, you can cancel Luck, but you can't cancel the Interwebs.
posted by Joey Michaels at 5:39 PM on August 16, 2012

Horse. Dick. Car. America.

There's a quality joke in here somewhere.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 5:39 PM on August 16, 2012

"Man, that crash was horrible!"
"It wasn't so bad."
"Dude, you flew out of your car, across the street, and slid across the ground!"
"Really, I'm OK."
"Didn't you break any bones?"
"No, I'm just a little horse."
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:53 PM on August 16, 2012 [3 favorites]

Finally, some Bad Horse backstory!
posted by A dead Quaker at 5:54 PM on August 16, 2012 [8 favorites]

Alternate dub: Wild horses

The music to this one is much better.
posted by victory_laser at 6:04 PM on August 16, 2012

Horses are absurd.
posted by deo rei at 6:04 PM on August 16, 2012

Push it to the limit /
Walk along the razor's edge /
But don't look down, just keep your head
Or you're Kucinich
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 6:15 PM on August 16, 2012

This is the video we project onto all available surfaces as our fledgling supersoldiers undergo hellweek, if I recall correctly.
posted by passerby at 6:20 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

At least it had a happy ending!

I totally do not believe that ending. The horse was propelled out of the car, across the street, across a park, over a hill, into the ocean? Do you know how much a horse weighs? That car must have been travelling at something like 600 mph! I call fake.
posted by Metro Gnome at 6:44 PM on August 16, 2012 [4 favorites]

Ah, ketamine. Hell of a drug.

I'm almost certain that this horse is not on ketamine.
posted by Brak at 6:59 PM on August 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

Bad Horse, Bad Horse, Bad Horse, Bad Horse
He drives across the nation.
The thoroughbred of sin.
posted by the_artificer at 7:02 PM on August 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

Good lord. Where's a killing frost when you need it?
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 7:05 PM on August 16, 2012 [5 favorites]

My lovely lovely lovely horse.

My lovely horse (my lovely horse),
Driving through the field (running through the field).

Where are you racing,
With your pistol blazing
In the wind?

I want to cover your insurance sums.
Drive with you over fences.
Polish your hubcaps every single day.
And drive you to the horse dentist.

My lovely lovely lovely horse.

My lovely horse (my lovely horse),
You’re a pony no more (you’re a pony no more).
Running around, breaking laws without bounds,
like a train in the night…

Like a train in the night.


We should all be ASHAMED it took this long for My Lovely Horse to occur to us.
posted by winna at 7:09 PM on August 16, 2012 [5 favorites]

Alternate soundtrack.

Hat tip to Misto Maxo for the video in the FPP.
posted by codacorolla at 7:40 PM on August 16, 2012

Bad Horse, Bad Horse, what you gonna do, what you gonna do when they come for you?

Seriously, though, I had my laughs like the rest of you, but this tale had a tragic ending.

Horse gets thrown out of a car like that, had to break at least one of its legs.
posted by misha at 7:42 PM on August 16, 2012

Having played GTA4 and seen lots of videos, I regret to say that while that horse was indeed takin' it, he did not in fact reach the limit.
posted by straight at 7:50 PM on August 16, 2012

He is a special horse with amazing powers. His skeleton is made of horsemantium.
posted by winna at 7:52 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

I hate the fuckin' Eagles, man.
posted by raysmj at 7:58 PM on August 16, 2012 [4 favorites]

To take it beyond the limit that horse would need negative friction..
posted by the_artificer at 8:12 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

Wow, it's Leisure Town animated. I'm pretty sure this horse is the crazy drug running cousin of the dude in Umbrella Patrol.
posted by oneirodynia at 8:13 PM on August 16, 2012

There now, I know what you're all thinking. "Hey, why not let the horse drive? Horses deserve to have a little fun."

Right? RIGHT? You think that's it, that's what this is all about? Just some damned-fool horse, joy-ridin' round town in an old red convertible?

Yeah, I hear you, you with all your, "Horses should have rights, too" talk. Next thing you know, you'll be saying, "Hey, let the horse get a driver's license already! Where's the harm?"

Lemme tell you what the harm is. I'll show you what the harm is.

This horse right here, this horse behind the wheel? The horse what's driving all willy-nilly through the city?

That horse right there's just the beginning. That horse is a whatdyacallit, a gateway.

That horse, sure, it might seem harmless, but you see the way that horse is pushin' that limit? You see the way that horse is firing off them bullets?

That horse right there is not just the marijuna, people. Oh, no.

That horse? it's the crack cocaine.

These things, you don't get it, these things're all connected!

Next thing you know, we'll have horses wantin' to go out and get themselves hitched. Hitched to each other, I mean. Get married, is what I'm saying.

Horses, gettin' married to each other like they's people!

Whaddya gonna do then, huh? What happens then?

This, that's what. That's what happens!

That's what we have to look forward to. That is where driving horses takes us all.

I hope you're all happy with yourselves.

Driving horses!

Not on my watch. No, sir.

Damn fool horses, thinkin' they can push the limits.

I never hearda such foolishness.
posted by misha at 8:19 PM on August 16, 2012

I would have no trouble letting horses have cars as long as they didn't flaunt their driving in front of me. But there they go, tooling around town as if it didn't make decent people driving THEIR cars get upset. I can drive, and you can drive, and it's normal and right. But horses driving? It's just wrong.

Also I fear that horse has broken a number of laws and regulations pertaining to road safety. I didn't ONCE see him turn on his blinker before making a turn.
posted by winna at 8:27 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

Y'all should know that in the little-remembered GTA-clone "True Crime: Streets of L.A. not only can you do basically these same moves on an actual map of Los Angeles, but there is a cheat code to make yourself a Donkey.

You are welcome.
posted by Navelgazer at 8:29 PM on August 16, 2012

on the internets no one knows you are a donkey
posted by elizardbits at 8:33 PM on August 16, 2012

I am holding out to be an oryx. Nothing less than that princely ungulate of the Kalahari will do for my reckless driving game shenanigans.
posted by winna at 8:35 PM on August 16, 2012

But what happens when a train takes it to the limit? (Warning: dubstep soundtrack.)
posted by shotintoeternity at 8:37 PM on August 16, 2012

This works because GTAIV and Red Dead Redemption share a game engine, and the human/animal models in Red Dead use the same joint system for animations. They lifted the horse model out of Red Dead, dropped it in GTAIV and wham!

Anyone want to take Niko back to the Wild West?
posted by dunkadunc at 8:38 PM on August 16, 2012

Or a forklift? (Same warning applies.)
posted by shotintoeternity at 8:40 PM on August 16, 2012

fhqwhgads?
posted by klangklangston at 8:41 PM on August 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

More horsey goodness.
posted by dunkadunc at 8:46 PM on August 16, 2012

No wonder the horses in Gta drive - their legs are deformed in such a way that they can't even walk normally. Poor horsies!
posted by winna at 8:51 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

But RDR didn't come out on PC so these are homebrew horse assets, yes? They may even be involved in crime.
posted by passerby at 8:57 PM on August 16, 2012

Horsecrime *CLANG* taken *CLANG* to the LIMIT *CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG* summer 2013 #horsecrime horsecrimemovie.com
posted by passerby at 9:00 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

I would imagine more of an Inception Horn kinda trailer.

(image of horse driving)
*BLAAAAAARRRNNNNNNNNN*
(close up of horse blinking)
*BLAAAAAAAAAAARRRNNNNNNNNN*
(flaring horse nostrils)
*BAAAAAAAAARRRNNNNNNNNNGGG*
(exhaust of car driving off)

HORSE: NO LIMIT
SUMMER 2013
posted by TwelveTwo at 9:55 PM on August 16, 2012

Get me an appropriate dubstep to work with and I will have a treatment banged out by Monday.
posted by passerby at 10:17 PM on August 16, 2012

Everybody to the limit. Everybody come on fhqwhgads!
posted by not_on_display at 10:57 PM on August 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

Maybe he was rushing to get home because he had the trots.
posted by hypersloth at 1:47 AM on August 17, 2012

Incredibly silly
posted by BadMiker at 4:53 AM on August 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

Meh. Let me know when they've got a video of a morbidly obese horse wearing assless pants and a top hat driving a honey pumper.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:19 AM on August 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

I was a little meh on this but that is because I have seen the best movie ever made featuring a driving horse-- A Town Called Panic. Do not watch after abdominal surgery because you will bust a gut.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:41 AM on August 17, 2012 [3 favorites]

Make this be longer.
posted by samofidelis at 7:30 AM on August 17, 2012

Rafalca really took her loss hard.
posted by aught at 7:36 AM on August 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

I think that I heard a terrible death whinny on the soundtrack.
posted by Danf at 8:52 AM on August 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

I think that I heard a terrible death whinny on the soundtrack.

Surely that is just Don Henley you are hearing.

Also I have decided on my thirtieth viewing that the thing that really makes it hysterical is that it is not entirely unlike real videos from the early days of MTV, when people obviously sat around doing sugar bag sized volumes of coke before coming up with their music video concept.
posted by winna at 9:19 AM on August 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

Alack, upon reviewing wikipedia too late it appears that "Take It to the Limit" was the vocal product of some dude I've never heard of named Randy Meisner. I am covered in shame.
posted by winna at 9:23 AM on August 17, 2012

Achievment Unlocked: Neighslayer
posted by sourwookie at 10:21 AM on August 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

> So, cute video aside, what happened to that horse?

Don't worry, horses can swim.
posted by "But who are the Chefs?" at 11:01 AM on August 17, 2012

The floating, firing gun! I wants one!!!
posted by kinnakeet at 12:17 PM on August 17, 2012

Step one. Be the horse.
Step two. Push it to the limit.
posted by TwelveTwo at 12:21 PM on August 17, 2012

Alack, upon reviewing wikipedia too late it appears that "Take It to the Limit" was the vocal product of some dude I've never heard of named Randy Meisner. I am covered in shame.

A feeling-old moment. The kids on the net no longer remember The Eagles. (Meisner was the band's original bassist with the really high voice, as opposed to their later bassist with the really high voice Timothy Schmidt who if I recall correctly they stole from Poco or something. Okay, 70s-MusicFilter lesson over.)
posted by aught at 2:18 PM on August 17, 2012

If it makes you feel better, it is not that you are old, it is that I am all untutored in the ways of seventies rock music! What I know of the seventies rock I learned from Yacht Rock.
posted by winna at 5:38 PM on August 17, 2012

Misheard lyrics: Horsie to the limit.
posted by b33j at 6:13 PM on August 17, 2012

this reminds me of Family Guy, "No Lois, horses are bad people."
posted by StaticWorld at 11:42 AM on September 7, 2012