They can direct the deer population anywhere they want to.

October 18, 2012 7:30 AM

Each of these incidents occurred shortly after I saw a Deer Crossing sign on the highway!
posted by namewithoutwords (64 comments total)

My partner's theory,

Someone said fuck Truth and picked Dare. At least thats what we hope happened.
posted by Blasdelb at 7:33 AM on October 18, 2012 [9 favorites]

I smell an undecided voter -- PANDER TO THEM!
posted by mazola at 7:34 AM on October 18, 2012 [2 favorites]

And, lo, he sayeth unto them THERE ARE SIMPLE SOLUTIONS when thou darest to ignore reality. And so were the people made calm.
posted by tommasz at 7:38 AM on October 18, 2012

Part of my job is responding to public inquiry about municipal issues. This isn't the stupidest thing I've heard this week.
posted by jimmythefish at 7:39 AM on October 18, 2012 [21 favorites]

I am going to do this woman the favor of assuming she was trolling.

If sincere, this seems like it might fall into that category of "assumptions I made as a child that I have never really questioned as an adult."
posted by Narrative Priorities at 7:40 AM on October 18, 2012 [4 favorites]

Jimmythefish, please oh please tell us some stories.
posted by Narrative Priorities at 7:41 AM on October 18, 2012 [11 favorites]

This isn't the stupidest thing I've heard this week.

Do tell.
posted by pracowity at 7:41 AM on October 18, 2012 [4 favorites]

Animals are so confusing!
posted by helicomatic at 7:46 AM on October 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'm not saying people this dumb don't exist but this one doesn't smell right.
posted by Cosine at 7:47 AM on October 18, 2012 [2 favorites]

Well I won't really get into this week (just read a CBC article about posting things online and getting fired so I'm skeeved) but the all-time favourite so far was a woman who wanted to solve the traffic and greenhouse gas emissions problem in the downtown area by diverting traffic over the centre of town with a giant wooden conveyor belt that you'd drive onto, turn your car off, and cruise the cedar planks in silence while checking the town out and waving at your friends.
posted by jimmythefish at 7:47 AM on October 18, 2012 [38 favorites]

Her voice says fake.
posted by rahnefan at 7:47 AM on October 18, 2012 [3 favorites]

Radio station stunt, nothing to see here... except Jimmythefish's tales!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 7:48 AM on October 18, 2012 [2 favorites]

The follow-up interview makes it clear she wasn't trolling, and also that she was a tremendously good sport about realizing she'd been dumb.
posted by jacquilynne at 7:55 AM on October 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

"Well I won't really get into this week (just read a CBC article about posting things online and getting fired so I'm skeeved) but the all-time favourite so far was a woman who wanted to solve the traffic and greenhouse gas emissions problem in the downtown area by diverting traffic over the centre of town with a giant wooden conveyor belt that you'd drive onto, turn your car off, and cruise the cedar planks in silence while checking the town out and waving at your friends."

Oh man, you can't just give us that nugget and stop there...
posted by Blasdelb at 7:55 AM on October 18, 2012 [2 favorites]

if only she had watched this informative video: Deer are fine.
posted by ennui.bz at 8:03 AM on October 18, 2012

I have no idea what jimmythefish makes annually, but I'd be more than happy to contribute to some sort of a post-employment-disaster-relief fund.
posted by Blue_Villain at 8:05 AM on October 18, 2012

Well I won't really get into this week (just read a CBC article about posting things online and getting fired so I'm skeeved)

You can memail them to me (or a mod, I guess) and I will post them as "from an anonymous user:"
posted by Rock Steady at 8:08 AM on October 18, 2012

a giant wooden conveyor belt that you'd drive onto, turn your car off, and cruise the cedar planks in silence while checking the town out and waving at your friends.

I'd put my tax dollars towards this. On slow traffic days, it could double as a strip for airplanes to take off from.
posted by Dr-Baa at 8:08 AM on October 18, 2012 [3 favorites]

FYI - There was a follow up call from Donna and a mea culpa
posted by lampshade at 8:09 AM on October 18, 2012 [4 favorites]

"Well I won't really get into this week (just read a CBC article about posting things online and getting fired so I'm skeeved) but the all-time favourite so far was a woman who wanted to solve the traffic and greenhouse gas emissions problem in the downtown area by diverting traffic over the centre of town with a giant wooden conveyor belt that you'd drive onto, turn your car off, and cruise the cedar planks in silence while checking the town out and waving at your friends."

Oh man I'd take this for NYC in a second, one each for Canal, 42nd, 57th and 125th. It could run at 5mph and still speed up crosstown trips during work days. Halal carts could deliver to your car window. It would be amazing.
posted by The Prawn Reproach at 8:14 AM on October 18, 2012 [6 favorites]

cedar planks in silence while checking the town out and waving at your friends.

I remember a poster in the davis_square livehournal group who was earnestly trying to get support for creating rope bridges, ala an Ewok village, constructed over the square so people would not have to wait for crossing lights.

Davis being what it is, her idea got a surprising amount of backing.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:16 AM on October 18, 2012 [6 favorites]

This is a very, very old joke. People like to write in to newspapers and make this silly complaint, too. I don't think anybody ever meant it in earnest. This woman certainly doesn't.
posted by koeselitz at 8:18 AM on October 18, 2012 [2 favorites]

Thanks for posting the followup. I'm still not sure if she's totally genuine or not, but it's a bummer that she's getting pranked that much about it.
posted by helicomatic at 8:21 AM on October 18, 2012

Is it her confident speaking voice that makes people assume that it's a prank? She was confident of her convictions, and had clearly been thinking about this for awhile, so of course she sounds a little scripted -- she'd probably been practicing it in her mind for awhile.
posted by me3dia at 8:22 AM on October 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

"There is always an easy solution to every human problem--neat, plausible, and wrong." -- H.L. Mencken
posted by wenestvedt at 8:23 AM on October 18, 2012 [2 favorites]

Without the signs, we would be encouraging the deer population to jaywalk. So it's not as simple as simply moving the signs.
posted by 2N2222 at 8:25 AM on October 18, 2012 [10 favorites]

me3dia: “Is it her confident speaking voice that makes people assume that it's a prank? She was confident of her convictions, and had clearly been thinking about this for awhile, so of course she sounds a little scripted -- she'd probably been practicing it in her mind for awhile.”

Well, for me it was the fact that this is a really common prank to play.
posted by koeselitz at 8:27 AM on October 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

Dr_Baa: On slow traffic days, it could double as a strip for airplanes to take off from.

Ah-hah! As a Doctor, you should know that those moving plankways would not be useable for planes to land on, only take off from: http://kottke.org/08/01/mythbusters-airplane-on-a-conveyor-belt
posted by wenestvedt at 8:27 AM on October 18, 2012

I suspect most callers like this -- and instances of the Morning Zoo radio hosts pranking an unsuspecting listener -- are fake.
posted by kurumi at 8:28 AM on October 18, 2012

if only she had watched this informative video: Deer are fine.

A rebuttal.
posted by dirigibleman at 8:31 AM on October 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

'But the government can control where the deer cross just by moving these signs!' is where she lost me. That's too far gone.
posted by TheRedArmy at 8:51 AM on October 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

Every four years, in late February, the Daily News "Voice of the People" section will feature complaints sent in that Leap Day should have been placed during a nicer part of the year.
posted by Navelgazer at 8:52 AM on October 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

Isn't this a scene from The Straight Story
posted by dng at 8:52 AM on October 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

From my local paper in 2011 and later featured on Leno:

"The deer crossing sign needs to be moved to a road with less traffic."

http://www.nwitimes.com/news/local/lake/article_c75bc6a0-c5dc-5642-abd4-4613161d0914.html
posted by AstroGuy at 8:56 AM on October 18, 2012

At around 1.20 she nearly laughs
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 9:00 AM on October 18, 2012 [2 favorites]

Definitely a Minnesotan trying to troll North Dakota.
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 9:12 AM on October 18, 2012 [2 favorites]

The follow-up interview really doesn't fit with the "prankster" theory. I think she was legit.
posted by yoink at 9:15 AM on October 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

I would totally go for the conveyor belt thing if it was built like a roller-coaster.
posted by xedrik at 9:21 AM on October 18, 2012

Is it her confident speaking voice that makes people assume that it's a prank?

No, it's the fact that it's from a morning radio show, a format well-known for intentionally generating 'controversial' calls to boost exposure and ratings. My baseline expectation is that 100% of call-ins are faked either by the show itself or by people who want to get on the air.

The follow-up interview really doesn't fit with the "prankster" theory.

The follow-up call would presumably also be a fake.
posted by muddgirl at 9:29 AM on October 18, 2012

I would completely for the car conveyor it if it meant the idiot bikers with straight pipes had to shut off their motors when cruising around town on the mechanized main drag.
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:29 AM on October 18, 2012

(I should be clear that I don't actually think 100% of call-ins are faked. But I presume fake until definitively proven to be not-fake.)
posted by muddgirl at 9:30 AM on October 18, 2012

Also, the Straight Story is full of these silly modern fables, my favorite of course being "What's the number to call 911!?" I think one of the points he was getting across is how these apocryphal tales define us as a culture - Aesop and urban legends, plain folks jokes and stories of kindness and virtue repaid with the same coin.

An unexpectedly warm and charming movie from David Lynch.
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:36 AM on October 18, 2012

Every time I see an "End Road Work" sign, I pump my fist. "Yeah! Fuckin' Road work! End it!!!!!"
posted by notsnot at 9:54 AM on October 18, 2012 [7 favorites]

I think it's cute that people actually believe that nobody's that stupid.
posted by darksasami at 10:03 AM on October 18, 2012 [6 favorites]

Oh, I have myself been that stupid, from time to time. But radio call-in shows can't afford to wait for people being stupid to call in.
posted by muddgirl at 10:15 AM on October 18, 2012

Oh come on. It's obviously fake. She says she's been "involved in three separate car accidents involving deer" over the past few years. Even if she at one point actually held this misconception about deer crossing signs, do you think she hasn't discussed them with anyone else? I live in the rural west as well and hitting a deer is one of the most common topics of conversation--you hit one, tell everyone, everyone in earshot chimes in with their story of hitting a deer, you talk about the worst areas for deer, what it did to your car, the personal quirks of the body shop guy, etc. There is just no way that a person who has been thinking about this enough to call in to a radio show about it hasn't mentioned it to someone else beforehand. And there's no way that the person they mentioned it to didn't set them straight. Fake.
posted by HotToddy at 10:31 AM on October 18, 2012

The follow-up call would presumably also be a fake.

A deliberate "bit" by the radio station is certainly a possibility, but that's not the same as a "prankster." I don't buy a "prankster" thinking it would be fun to call in to a radio station and talk about how stupid they were: the whole point of pranks like this is to crow about what gullible idiots the DJs were. But you're right that it's possible the whole thing was contrived by the show from the get-go.
posted by yoink at 10:54 AM on October 18, 2012

I guess it depends on the definition of a 'prankster' - it's possible she just wanted to get on the radio with her funny story. Getting on the radio TWICE seems to be an added bonus.

I actually tend to enjoy morning humor shows. My objection is to the general idea, often espoused when these things go viral, that the people who call in reveal the stupidity of the American public.
posted by muddgirl at 11:03 AM on October 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

It is surprisingly easy to pass through life carrying some very basic erroneous assumptions about small, dusty corners of the world that wouldn't have had the chance get corrected.

I.e. my adult cousin, while at a museum, had a revelation "wait.... So these bones were REAL dinosaurs?"
posted by cacofonie at 11:06 AM on October 18, 2012

Nearly 10 years later, my college friends still get a kick out of the time I claimed, "No one has every really SEEN a photon." But see, I made this claim to friends before I called in to a radio show, and "No one has seen a photon" is not a very well-known urban-legend-dumb-comment the way "They should move the Animal X-ing" sign is.
posted by muddgirl at 11:09 AM on October 18, 2012

I don't think it's possible that it's a deliberate bit by the radio station, because the DJs have absolutely no comeback to it. DJs don't do silence--dead air is unthinkable, the worst possible thing that can happen on radio. (I lived with one for 15 years, and believe me, it carries over into real life, too.) If it were prepared ahead of time, they'd have played along much more quickly and thrown in a few zingers.
posted by darksasami at 11:10 AM on October 18, 2012

I saw a photon once. It was waving at me.
posted by Babblesort at 11:11 AM on October 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

I call shenanigans. She just sounds too coherent and educated for this not to be a prank.
posted by Kokopuff at 11:15 AM on October 18, 2012

I have never once seen the bear on the left.
posted by TheCoug at 11:20 AM on October 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

She's a fake. The station let's it play out, laughing all the way to the bank.
posted by Outlawyr at 11:25 AM on October 18, 2012

Ctrl-F-jimmythefish
posted by herbplarfegan at 1:19 PM on October 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

We have street signs that read "Children at Play" and I always think in my mind: "Which play might that be? Peter Pan?"
posted by binturong at 1:19 PM on October 18, 2012

I've always had that problem with STOP AHEAD.
posted by darksasami at 4:15 PM on October 18, 2012

SLOW
CHILDREN
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:40 PM on October 18, 2012

Fakety fake fake fake.

instances of the Morning Zoo radio hosts pranking an unsuspecting listener

All of those are fake, too.
posted by clorox at 5:43 PM on October 18, 2012

I would totally go for the conveyor belt thing if it was built like a roller-coaster.

When I lived in the Bay Area many years ago, I had a friend who'd never ridden BART before.

I took her over to Berkeley for the day, and told her that the handrails on top of the seats were there because the commuters had written a petition to the Transportation Dept. complaining that the ride into SF was too boring, and that they had gotten a loop-de-loop constructed just outside of the Oakland Coliseum to make it more exciting.

She immediately grabbed the handrail and looked out the window, exclaiming, "Here comes the Coliseum - can we see it from here???"
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 3:44 AM on October 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

When I was in my late 20's I had a particularly stupid argument with a learned friend who was insisting that gravity wasn't caused by centrifugal force. I knew he was wrong based on my experiences on the Gravitron fun fair ride.

He was very polite but I felt shame, great shame after I'd done the smallest amount of research. I'd been reading hard science fiction for ages, too. What a maroon!
posted by h00py at 7:45 AM on October 20, 2012

I also used to think that gravity was caused by centrifugal force, and that if the earth stopped spinning we'd all go flying off. It seemed so obvious!
posted by muddgirl at 11:41 AM on October 20, 2012 [1 favorite]

these silly modern fables, my favorite of course being "What's the number to call 911!?"

This actually happened in my family. Grandpa panicked and was frantically flipping through the phone book. People do crazy stuff under stress.
posted by xedrik at 8:49 AM on October 22, 2012