EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! ...RHAOMI! ...VERSUS... RHYTHM! ...BEGIN!!!
December 10, 2012 12:33 PM Subscribe

Since it debuted on the blue in '11 // Epic Rap Battles of History preppin' // to score itself more than a billion views // and become TopDog of the pack YouTube
Made by NicePeter and EpicLloyd // (two improv comics by Maker employed) // The series pits icons of legend renowned // in a slick-wit freestyle rap throwdown
With snappier writing, and better FX // online celebs (and Google Ad checks) // The Epic Rap crew's halfway done with the brew // that is Epic Rap Battles of History Part Deux
The midseason's close? It comes out today. // In one corner: Santa Claus, fresh from his sleigh
And his prophet o' doom? "He ain't Mayan," ERBoH sez.
It's Snoop Dogg -- Snoop Lion -- as mothafuckin' Moses
[WHO WON?] → [WHO'S NEXT?] →

posted by Rhaomi (25 comments total) 25 users marked this as a favorite

These are truly hilarious and well done. In the category of "sounds lame as an idea, but the execution kills it."
posted by meadowlark lime at 12:44 PM on December 10, 2012 [5 favorites]

Hmm, I think you can put me in the "sounds lame as an idea and in the execution" camp. Who won? Definitely not those of us who spent our time watching any of these.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 12:48 PM on December 10, 2012 [4 favorites]

I was expecting Snoop Lion to really bring it as Moses but I think whoever did Santa actually came pretty strong.

Snoop Lion Moses by a little.
posted by vuron at 12:52 PM on December 10, 2012 [1 favorite]

10th Regiment didn't watch "Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking," obv.
posted by meadowlark lime at 12:55 PM on December 10, 2012 [4 favorites]

Someone help me out here...I assume these are written in a style meant to effect a live free-style/improvised rap battle, so the roughness of the rhyming and the general lack of beat precision is part of the intended aesthetic? Right??
posted by Doleful Creature at 1:06 PM on December 10, 2012 [1 favorite]

the roughness of the rhyming and the general lack of beat precision is part of the intended aesthetic? Right??

Dat's a plate of BEANS, MAN
You ain't hip to the SCENE, MAN!
posted by The Deej at 1:08 PM on December 10, 2012 [2 favorites]

Putting Snoop in this just serves as a stark reminder of how bad the average Epic Rap Battles rapper's flow really is.
posted by mightygodking at 1:20 PM on December 10, 2012 [9 favorites]

Moses/Santa is good (hey guys, comparing a comedian's flow to a rapper-30-years-in-the-game's flow is sort of ... stupid) but for my money, Batman vs. Sherlock and Barack vs. Mitt (at least watch until the eagle) are miles of brilliance.
posted by incessant at 1:59 PM on December 10, 2012 [3 favorites]

I think a good indicator of whether you'll enjoy these is if you can listen to the "WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!" tagline without cringing.
posted by straight at 2:58 PM on December 10, 2012 [2 favorites]

I know the one known as MC Mr. Napkins. He grew up here with me and is the son of our community Rabbi.
posted by sourwookie at 3:15 PM on December 10, 2012

I love these, but having the Monroe vs Cleopatra battle played to me by my best friends 13 year old daughter left me feeling ...

(a) kind of uncomfortable with her playing me things that are quite so sexually explicit.
and (b) also uncomfortable with the (possibly parodied) misogyny in that particular rap battle.

So yeah - lesson the first: Funny - but for the sake of my sanity, let's all pretend that children don't love this too.
posted by zoo at 3:46 PM on December 10, 2012

Epic Pony Rap Battles of Equestria:

The Great and Powerful Trixie vs. Twilight Sparkle
Prince Blue Blood vs. Big Mac
Iron Will vs. Zecora
posted by ursus_comiter at 4:04 PM on December 10, 2012 [1 favorite]

Ok, I must admit that these Epic Rap Battles are sometimes kind of a guilty pleasure for me. The best episodes are usually those that seem to catch on to an interesting relationship between the characters--either a personality relationship, or some kind of question or issue that's considered in the battle.

Less interesting episodes in the series sometimes seem like they're just made to include characters widely known among you-tubers (but I suppose that's the price of promising viewers that "you decide" who battles).

In case anyone's wondering, the best five epic rap battles are these: 3,7,12,21,22. Here's the definitive "best-of" list:

3: Lincoln/Norris on the the idea of being legendary
7: Einstein vs. Hawking (warning: disability jokes)
12: Shakespeare vs Seuss on literary value
21: Gates v Jobs: touching consideration of technology and obsolesce
22: Sinatra vs Mercury on expression vs playing it cool (warning: totally offensive)
posted by washburn at 4:25 PM on December 10, 2012 [2 favorites]

Isn't My Little Pony antithetical to Rap Battles? Are you even allowed to do that?
posted by zoo at 4:25 PM on December 10, 2012

As someone who isn't much one for rap, I can't help but find it amusing that Santa pwned Snoop.
I'm assuming that was the real Mr Lion (nee Dogg).

y familiarity with his work is limited, and he's pretty much all parody (or easily parodied... take you pick there).

I really enjoyed Gates Vs Jobs too.
I think some of these are lazy (or meh), but there are some real gems.
posted by Mezentian at 4:41 PM on December 10, 2012 [1 favorite]

Isn't this post disqualified from the Readers' Choice Award this month due to the OBVIOUS MODERATOR INTERVENTION?
posted by carsonb at 4:53 PM on December 10, 2012

Oh I guess the More Inside does show up on the front page. It would have been cool if it was just the rap battle links on the front.
posted by carsonb at 4:54 PM on December 10, 2012

Very nicely put together post! Thanks, Rhaomi!

Putting Snoop in this just serves as a stark reminder of how bad the average Epic Rap Battles rapper's flow really is.

I totally disagree. I don't even think he "won." But hey, we're all entitled to our opinions.

On the other hand...

Hmm, I think you can put me in the "sounds lame as an idea and in the execution" camp. Who won? Definitely not those of us who spent our time watching any of these.

Speak for yourself.
posted by Edgewise at 4:56 PM on December 10, 2012 [2 favorites]

Don't we need rap Christmass carols?

"I ain't dash'n thru the snow
I'm rappin thru the sno...
to Gramma's house I go
'cause Gramma got the mojo

Jinga bells
Jinga bells
Jinga bells
All the way now....

Jinga bells
Jinga bells
Jinga bells
All the way now....ect
posted by eggtooth at 5:19 PM on December 10, 2012 [1 favorite]

I have to give props, if "props" are as I suspect the appropriate thing to be given in this context, for the use of the phrase "p-brane" in Einstein vs. Hawking.
posted by Wolfdog at 5:50 PM on December 10, 2012

Speak for yourself.

I think that was the idea when I used the first person singular.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 6:20 PM on December 10, 2012 [2 favorites]

Holy shit that's funny. Thanks for posting it!
posted by ph00dz at 7:06 PM on December 10, 2012

My favorite rap Christmas carol will always be 'Christmas in Hollis,' though you can't front on 'Merry Muthaphuckkin Xmas' or the OG 'Player's Ball.'
posted by box at 7:55 PM on December 10, 2012

I think that was the idea when I used the first person singular.

You missed your own first person plural:

Definitely not those of us who spent our time watching any of these.
posted by Edgewise at 12:08 AM on December 11, 2012

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