What part of "mine" are you not understanding?
March 25, 2013 10:25 AM Subscribe
Ugly little bastard isn't he?
Just kidding, that was so cute I almost died.
posted by marxchivist at 10:29 AM on March 25, 2013 [2 favorites]
Just kidding, that was so cute I almost died.
posted by marxchivist at 10:29 AM on March 25, 2013 [2 favorites]
Squeeeeeee
posted by blucevalo at 10:31 AM on March 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by blucevalo at 10:31 AM on March 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
Uncanny. That's exactly how I look when I play basketball.
posted by R. Schlock at 10:31 AM on March 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by R. Schlock at 10:31 AM on March 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
I've always suspected that's how zookeepers spend their days. Research and conservation? Pfft! More like oogie woogie boogie.
posted by flechsig at 10:40 AM on March 25, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by flechsig at 10:40 AM on March 25, 2013 [3 favorites]
This is a day full of cute animals, because in addition to the panda, I found out that my two greatest loves can be combined to produce something even more adorable.
posted by WidgetAlley at 10:44 AM on March 25, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by WidgetAlley at 10:44 AM on March 25, 2013 [4 favorites]
Mod note: Switched the link to what is as far as I can tell the actual source video from San Diego Zoo.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:51 AM on March 25, 2013
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:51 AM on March 25, 2013
Every time I see a video of a Panda big or small I have to wonder how they made it this far. I see cute, but a predator has to see a big helpless bag of meat.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 10:53 AM on March 25, 2013
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 10:53 AM on March 25, 2013
So the main thing that makes grown-up pandas seem cute to humans is that their eyes look huge and baby-like thanks to the black markings on their faces. But in a baby panda, the whites of his eyes show so much that the illusion is broken. Instead of giant black eyes, he has normal sized eyes surrounded by black fur. I think this guy's face is actually less cute than his mom's probably is. This might be the only animal in which the baby is less cute than the adult.
But, you know, 30% less cute than infinity cuteness still equals infinity cuteness. Plus, he has a ball.
Hi I'm on MetaFiler and I could overthink a plate of panda.
posted by vytae at 11:00 AM on March 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
But, you know, 30% less cute than infinity cuteness still equals infinity cuteness. Plus, he has a ball.
Hi I'm on MetaFiler and I could overthink a plate of panda.
posted by vytae at 11:00 AM on March 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
When In Academia knows that panda's feel.
posted by BrashTech at 11:08 AM on March 25, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by BrashTech at 11:08 AM on March 25, 2013 [4 favorites]
"Every time I see a video of a Panda big or small I have to wonder how they made it this far. I see cute, but a predator has to see a big helpless bag of meat."
Panda Attacks
I've read that one of their primary attack forms is to slash a big clawed paw at about gonad height on a human male. Not so pleasant.
They can afford to be big and slow and docile because every fucking thing is scared of them; even leopards will only attack the young if they're sure mom is well away. Basically nothing but humans will attack the adults, and then only with guns.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 11:17 AM on March 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
Panda Attacks
I've read that one of their primary attack forms is to slash a big clawed paw at about gonad height on a human male. Not so pleasant.
They can afford to be big and slow and docile because every fucking thing is scared of them; even leopards will only attack the young if they're sure mom is well away. Basically nothing but humans will attack the adults, and then only with guns.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 11:17 AM on March 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
Basically nothing but humans will attack the adults, and then only with guns.
Also bamboo deforestation just sayin.
posted by sweetkid at 11:19 AM on March 25, 2013 [2 favorites]
Also bamboo deforestation just sayin.
posted by sweetkid at 11:19 AM on March 25, 2013 [2 favorites]
Panda sans eye makeup
Pandas are really very agile - look at that backflip! They are pretty sexy too, making out all the time (though their sex drive seems to decrease with age). The Panda Condition consists of food, exercise, intimacy, sleep, and ninja.
My ultimate life goal is to become a panda.
posted by fatehunter at 11:39 AM on March 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
Pandas are really very agile - look at that backflip! They are pretty sexy too, making out all the time (though their sex drive seems to decrease with age). The Panda Condition consists of food, exercise, intimacy, sleep, and ninja.
My ultimate life goal is to become a panda.
posted by fatehunter at 11:39 AM on March 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
I call FAKE!!
I could see the seams. NOTHING can be so cute.
I kid. I kid.
posted by arkham_inmate_0801 at 12:44 PM on March 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
I could see the seams. NOTHING can be so cute.
I kid. I kid.
posted by arkham_inmate_0801 at 12:44 PM on March 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
Wow, only 14.5 lbs? He's nearly twice the volume of my cat, and he's 20 lbs.
posted by desjardins at 1:00 PM on March 25, 2013
posted by desjardins at 1:00 PM on March 25, 2013
Wow, only 14.5 lbs? He's nearly twice the volume of my cat, and he's 20 lbs.
Yeah, he's maybe about the same size as my 16-month old, who weighs 25 pounds. I guess the panda is pretty skinny under all that cute fluffy fur?
posted by devinemissk at 5:01 PM on March 25, 2013
Yeah, he's maybe about the same size as my 16-month old, who weighs 25 pounds. I guess the panda is pretty skinny under all that cute fluffy fur?
posted by devinemissk at 5:01 PM on March 25, 2013
I was going to search for "hairless panda" but I don't want the nightmares. Someone else do it and report back.
posted by desjardins at 5:22 PM on March 25, 2013
posted by desjardins at 5:22 PM on March 25, 2013
They can afford to be big and slow and docile because every fucking thing is scared of them; even leopards will only attack the young if they're sure mom is well away. Basically nothing but humans will attack the adults, and then only with guns.
Hun. I did not know that.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 1:01 AM on March 26, 2013
Hun. I did not know that.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 1:01 AM on March 26, 2013
OK desjardins, I did it. It seems that pandas are only hairless when they are human-fist-sized newborns. I wouldn't recommend the search because there's a kind of terrifying picture of a hairless spectacled bear that shows up a few times (all its fur fell out at the zoo, nobody's sure why). Since that line of research failed, I also googled for wet pandas, knowing that giant fluffy cats become realistically scrawny when wet. Panda fur must be more coarse or dense or something, because it does not slick down the way cat fur does. So I still have no idea how big or small they are under all the fluff. On the bright side, wet panda is actually a pretty adorable google search.
posted by vytae at 9:55 AM on March 26, 2013
posted by vytae at 9:55 AM on March 26, 2013
hairless spectacled bear
It has glasses on?
Somehow I picture this bear as an ursine Lane Price.
posted by sweetkid at 2:29 PM on March 26, 2013
It has glasses on?
Somehow I picture this bear as an ursine Lane Price.
posted by sweetkid at 2:29 PM on March 26, 2013
Sadly, the spectacles for which the bear species is named are only white circles of fur around its eyes. With all his fur missing, he doesn't even have spectacles at all. Maybe the naked bear would feel more like himself if they got him a nice warm sweater and some glasses. But then he'd probably need a smoking pipe... maybe a nice leather-bound book to read...
posted by vytae at 2:55 PM on March 26, 2013
posted by vytae at 2:55 PM on March 26, 2013
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posted by sweetkid at 10:27 AM on March 25, 2013