When dinosaurs ruled yr ♡

April 12, 2013 2:42 PM

(^_^) Jurassic♥Heart is a Japanese-style 彡☆ dating sim ☆ミ that finally lets you date a dinosaur (^_-)

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(╯°□°）╯It's part of the Pulse-Pounding, Heart-Stopping Dating Sim Jam (＾▽＾)

♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

Here's a little more context from RPS.

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posted by 2bucksplus (57 comments total)

I do not regret naming myself Plesiowhore. Not a bit.
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 2:45 PM on April 12, 2013 [16 favorites]

I was considering making a post on this and man am I glad I did not.

Also, are dating sims a subgenre of visual novels? There's never been much game to the ones I've played (admittedly a decade ago.)
posted by griphus at 2:47 PM on April 12, 2013 [2 favorites]

Wait, you didn't pick "Dr. Alan Grant" as your name?
posted by 2bucksplus at 2:50 PM on April 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

Does Klepek know about this yet?
posted by kmz at 2:53 PM on April 12, 2013

Name? No. Focus of all sexual dreams? Maybe. Lower back tattoo? Yes.
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 2:54 PM on April 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

My name is Clitaurus, obviously.
posted by Peevish at 2:58 PM on April 12, 2013 [11 favorites]

I went for the standard "POOP." Oh, Taira-Kun ... so dreamy!
posted by mrgrimm at 3:01 PM on April 12, 2013

(possible spoilers)





I'm sorry, but the image of an awkward teenage dinosaur unable to pick up his ukulele in junior high because of his tiny arms is just about the saddest thing I can imagine right now (if that sad thing must also be ridiculous).
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:03 PM on April 12, 2013 [15 favorites]

Hahaha oh my god this is hilarious

PS. T-Sex? No?

PPS. It works in iPhone's Safari browser! How they swung that I have no idea
posted by Pfardentrott at 3:12 PM on April 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

Gal-osaurus here.
posted by maryr at 3:18 PM on April 12, 2013

Granted, this wouldn't be the first time this scenario has been contemplated.
posted by fifthrider at 3:21 PM on April 12, 2013

Are we... Does that mean... Did Taira-kun and I just form a band!? ^_^*
posted by maryr at 3:23 PM on April 12, 2013

Is anyone else reminded of Hatoful Boyfriend? ;)
posted by usagizero at 3:25 PM on April 12, 2013 [3 favorites]

paraphiliasaurolophus
posted by DaDaDaDave at 3:27 PM on April 12, 2013 [2 favorites]

It is good to know that I'm exactly the young Japanese girl that Taira-Kun needed to help him through his ordeal.
posted by davejay at 3:35 PM on April 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

Emily.

Emily Bronto.
posted by Pallas Athena at 3:44 PM on April 12, 2013 [6 favorites]

Tsundere Lizard
posted by maryr at 3:48 PM on April 12, 2013 [12 favorites]

So, Taira-kun and I just bought a ukulele together. I think I'm in love.

Scarily, all of the responses are exactly the kind of thing I would say, too. I'm clearly meant to be a Japanese schoolgirl.
posted by so much modern time at 3:52 PM on April 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

Much like but much faster than the dinosaurs, I met a Terrible End.
posted by yellowbinder at 3:58 PM on April 12, 2013

Is it hentai? Is it? Is it?
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 4:15 PM on April 12, 2013

At first, I was all "wow, finally someone is making an internet just for me!" but I had no idea my dino boyfriend would be such a little bitch. Here's an idea, Taira, stop playing the damn ukulele and eat some goddamn people or something.
posted by phunniemee at 4:17 PM on April 12, 2013 [4 favorites]

Transguanodon
posted by eriko at 4:21 PM on April 12, 2013

cool, its some white dudes doing rad ironic parodies of shit from the far east

thanks RPS youre where i go to get gaming thats classy and not lame
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 4:29 PM on April 12, 2013

I wish I'd sealed my prediction for how phunniemee would react to this game (will love in theory but not practice) in an envelope because I was spot-fucking-on.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 4:30 PM on April 12, 2013 [2 favorites]

Is that what real dating is like because that was tedious? I did like the idea of a meat on the bone hair clip.
posted by sweetkid at 4:30 PM on April 12, 2013

I really thought the hairclip with meat-on-a-bone was going to lead to Taira eating me.

Is it a failure of both a dinosaur sim and a dating sim that he did not.
posted by maryr at 4:31 PM on April 12, 2013 [5 favorites]

maryr: I played the game all the way through a second time just because I was hoping for that reaction.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 4:33 PM on April 12, 2013

Spermatazoa Rex
posted by XMLicious at 4:35 PM on April 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

cool, its some white dudes doing rad ironic parodies of shit from the far east

Actually, they're both Thai.
posted by capricorn at 4:40 PM on April 12, 2013 [3 favorites]

BTW, I recently watched Oreimo, so my expectations for this sim may have been a little... off.
posted by maryr at 4:40 PM on April 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

(And yet I still played it at work, hm, interesting choice.)
posted by maryr at 4:41 PM on April 12, 2013

Love finds a way.
posted by somespecialist at 4:41 PM on April 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

lickalotapuss
posted by quazichimp at 4:45 PM on April 12, 2013

I went for turnofankleosaurus.
posted by comealongpole at 4:53 PM on April 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

pteralthepantihosofus
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 4:59 PM on April 12, 2013

Also, are dating sims a subgenre of visual novels? There's never been much game to the ones I've played (admittedly a decade ago.)

Yeah, visual novels are a genre as broad as roleplaying games for instance. Phoenix Wright qualifies.

Hell, game mechanically speaking, Mass Effect should be included, but really "visual novel" is more a trope to do with the game's "payload" being mainly something you read, with (maybe) character sprites and (maybe) voice acting brought in to assist that. Everything looks animesque, and though most of these games have narrators, that narrator generally isn't responsible for attributing dialogue. Instead of Bob said to Alice, you see Bob's sprite with mouth open, and Alice's sprite with mouth closed looking pensive, and Bob's dialogue is on screen.

It's easy to mix other genres in with visual novels so you see a lot of that.
posted by LogicalDash at 5:06 PM on April 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

IF ONLY OTHERS COULD SEE MY REFLECTION...
THEN THEY'D UNDERSTAND
posted by Rhaomi at 5:17 PM on April 12, 2013

@capricorn

i do not understand. are these the guys that run that game site
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 5:33 PM on April 12, 2013

Dina Shaur
posted by Karmadillo at 5:34 PM on April 12, 2013 [2 favorites]

i do not understand. are these the guys that run that game site

This particular game was made neither by RPS nor the person that runs the site hosting the games. Many of the authors/developers are neither men nor white.
posted by juv3nal at 5:40 PM on April 12, 2013

Please enter your name.
Mastodong !

And then it turns out I'm a teenage human girl.

NAMED MASTODONG!
posted by xedrik at 5:45 PM on April 12, 2013 [11 favorites]

Many of the authors/developers are neither men nor white.
err, sorry, many of them are not men. At least some of them are not white.
posted by juv3nal at 5:49 PM on April 12, 2013

It's hard to tell from his face, but he looks really upset. What should I do?

[1] Attack.

[2] Ask him to pay half of the price, then attack when he struggles to get a tiny hand into his wallet.

[3] Circle him warily, waiting for him to show the slightest sign of weakness. Then pay half the price.
posted by Kevin Street at 6:07 PM on April 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

See also the pigeon dating sim Hatoful Boyfriend. Playthrough here
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 6:10 PM on April 12, 2013 [2 favorites]

i do not understand. are these the guys that run that game site

If you look below the game it says Story/Programmer and Artist and it links to them, so they probably made it.

The game itself is hosted by a Thai game company, which is probably just those two guys again.

The contest was put on by Electricopolis.net

Or do you think because Rock Paper Shotgun mentioned the game in an article about the contest that it's theirs now?
posted by RobotHero at 6:15 PM on April 12, 2013

You know, a game about forming a band could be pretty fun.

I also played through a second time to see if I could get him to eat me, and was disappointed that the bad ending was more sedate than that.
posted by RobotHero at 6:20 PM on April 12, 2013

so much modern time: "So, Taira-kun and I just bought a ukulele together. I think I'm in love.

Scarily, all of the responses are exactly the kind of thing I would say, too. I'm clearly meant to be a Japanese schoolgirl."

Kawaii!!!
posted by symbioid at 8:09 PM on April 12, 2013

Waitaminute, we're supposed to play a human girl in this game? Where's the fun in that?

I thought it was about sweet dinosaur love. And carnage.
posted by Kevin Street at 8:42 PM on April 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

Guys I happily buzzsawed through faces in Bioshock Infinite but it was so hard being mean to T-Rex to see the bad ending.

Also I have a toy T-Rex standing on my desk and this game showed me he could really use a tie.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 9:37 PM on April 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

I am so far lost in reading about the full version of the pidgeon game. It's AMAZING.

In-game: This is madness!

Recapper: No, this is pidgeon-dating.

posted by maryr at 11:20 PM on April 12, 2013 [4 favorites]

Seriously, I just spent 3 hours reading about a pidgeon dating sim. And it was worth it.
posted by maryr at 11:20 PM on April 12, 2013

an obvious consequence of gay marriage, the end is near.
posted by OHenryPacey at 11:14 AM on April 13, 2013

I also cannot stop reading about Hatoful Boyfriend. I am AMAZED.
posted by SarahElizaP at 8:30 PM on April 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

I kept waiting for Taira-kun to get a nosebleed, but it didn't happen. Maybe I was supposed to get one instead.
posted by Athanassiel at 6:47 AM on April 14, 2013

maryr: "Seriously, I just spent 3 hours reading about a pidgeon dating sim. And it was worth it."

I gather that the game is supposed to be a satire of Japanese dating sims, but it's almost like David Lynch and Alfred Hitchcock were both involved in creating it. The surreal aspect of it is mostly due to the pigeons, however, because imagining this walkthrough with typical human characters places this into more familiar territory. But that simple juxtaposition is surprisingly effective and totally hilarious. I really want to play this game.
posted by krinklyfig at 1:11 PM on April 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Also, are dating sims a subgenre of visual novels? There's never been much game to the ones I've played (admittedly a decade ago.)

Yeah, visual novels are a genre as broad as roleplaying games for instance. Phoenix Wright qualifies.

I don't know, I'd tend to define "visual novel" pretty narrowly - though the basics of gameplay with long conversations, character portraits, and player choices are folded into a lot of other genres, I'd say the other genre usually takes precedence. Thus Fire Emblem is primarily a strategy game, for example. Phoenix Wright is a visual novel because the only system it has is talking, even if the trial system is much more complex than the basic visual novel system.

On the dating sims thing, that's more a question of content than form. Tokimeki Memorial is often called the best-selling dating sim, and that has you going through a year at school and building up your character by going to gym class or the library, so there's this stat-building game backing up the story, which does unfold in visual-novel style segments. Sakura Taisen II is often called the second-best selling dating sim, but a lot of the gameplay time is Final Fantasy Tactics style battles. Riviera had dating sim elements, but it was structured like an RPG with a lot of dialog rather than a visual novel - the story was kind of linear but branches were determined by your interaction with the environment rather than with characters. Higurashi and Umineko no Naku Koro ni are definitely visual novels (they're called "sound novels" technically but it's a moot point), but they're strictly linear (no player choice) and the in-game stories aren't focused on romance.

So the standard, branching-conversation dating sim is a visual novel and doesn't have much game to it; some romance games are more technical but keep a lot of weight on simple branching choices, and some other ones have more complicated gameplay that has nothing to do with visual novels.

I don't always understand why developed romance subplots are paired up with complex game mechanics, but if we can have a Diogenes reimagined as some kind of wizard girl lead your army to world conquest I'm not really going to complain.
posted by 23 at 6:52 PM on April 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Phoenix Wright is a visual novel because the only system it has is talking

I'd put Phoenix Wright somewhere closer to the adventure game category than that -- it's got a scene investigation component, and you've got many more options about how to interact with the characters (even if you are mostly on rails) than most visual novels seem to offer.

I think the defining characteristic for me is whether I can set it to autoplay until I reach a decision point. [Totally awesome feature if you want to, say, crochet and play a game at the same time.] If yes, visual novel. If not, something else.

I have been playing the hell out of all the visual novels (and other games) from Hanako Games lately, if anyone wants some that last longer than the ones in this fabulous jam.
posted by asperity at 1:45 PM on April 15, 2013