Fapper, No Fapping!
April 18, 2013 12:57 PM Subscribe
"... then I asked him ‘What is your purpose penis?’ To which he replied ‘I dunno lol'". New York Magazine on No-Fap, or Men Quitting Masturbation
This post was deleted for the following reason: Poster's Request -- Brandon Blatcher
Fap is onomatopoeic Internet slang for masturbation.
posted by cmoj at 1:02 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by cmoj at 1:02 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
Well, uh, ducky for them.
I'll be in my bunk. Knock first.
posted by kbanas at 1:03 PM on April 18, 2013 [5 favorites]
I'll be in my bunk. Knock first.
posted by kbanas at 1:03 PM on April 18, 2013 [5 favorites]
This is your head on pop-neuroscience.
The placebo effect is powerful. Even more powerful is deciding to do something to improve your life, and sticking to it. Whether or not that has a large affect on you is besides the point.
posted by zabuni at 1:08 PM on April 18, 2013 [9 favorites]
The placebo effect is powerful. Even more powerful is deciding to do something to improve your life, and sticking to it. Whether or not that has a large affect on you is besides the point.
posted by zabuni at 1:08 PM on April 18, 2013 [9 favorites]
Link goes to page 2 instead of page 1.
Which I didn't even notice until read to the bottom of the page. Maybe I need to embark on a NoFap challenge and see if it improves my mental clarity.
Yeah, i didn't notice either. Until I went to advance to the next page. Maybe I should put my pants back on.
posted by selenized at 1:08 PM on April 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
Which I didn't even notice until read to the bottom of the page. Maybe I need to embark on a NoFap challenge and see if it improves my mental clarity.
Yeah, i didn't notice either. Until I went to advance to the next page. Maybe I should put my pants back on.
posted by selenized at 1:08 PM on April 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
“fapstronauts,” as they call themselves
That seems like the opposite of what they should be called.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:08 PM on April 18, 2013 [22 favorites]
That seems like the opposite of what they should be called.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:08 PM on April 18, 2013 [22 favorites]
More like fapstronaught amirite!!
I don't really understand this whole thing.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 1:09 PM on April 18, 2013 [16 favorites]
I don't really understand this whole thing.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 1:09 PM on April 18, 2013 [16 favorites]
Not having sex with a partner is hard mode? Well shit, then. I must be working on a high score here.
posted by cmoj at 1:11 PM on April 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by cmoj at 1:11 PM on April 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
"Reddit Purity Ball" is not a phrase I ever thought I would have reason to use. But here we are.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:12 PM on April 18, 2013 [19 favorites]
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:12 PM on April 18, 2013 [19 favorites]
Not having sex with a partner is hard mode? Well shit, then. I must be working on a high score here.
I'm pretty sure they mean declining sex when you have an available sexual partner, not just "accidental abstinence."
I don't really understand why someone would do that, though. You're going to intentionally deprive your partner of sex because you're trying to prove something to yourself? Good luck with maintaining that relationship.
posted by asnider at 1:14 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
I'm pretty sure they mean declining sex when you have an available sexual partner, not just "accidental abstinence."
I don't really understand why someone would do that, though. You're going to intentionally deprive your partner of sex because you're trying to prove something to yourself? Good luck with maintaining that relationship.
posted by asnider at 1:14 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
His eyes then narrowed. "We have ways," he said. "Believe me, we have ways."
Isn't this the plot of Ilsa: She-Wolf of the American Urological Association?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:15 PM on April 18, 2013 [31 favorites]
Isn't this the plot of Ilsa: She-Wolf of the American Urological Association?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:15 PM on April 18, 2013 [31 favorites]
then I asked him ‘What is your purpose penis?’
Boy, did I read that wrong - I was just on the verge of asking people what a "purpose penis" is.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:15 PM on April 18, 2013 [18 favorites]
Boy, did I read that wrong - I was just on the verge of asking people what a "purpose penis" is.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:15 PM on April 18, 2013 [18 favorites]
Rick Warren's Purpose-Penis Life
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 1:17 PM on April 18, 2013 [24 favorites]
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 1:17 PM on April 18, 2013 [24 favorites]
Woah. Porpoise penises? Sign me up!
posted by shothotbot at 1:19 PM on April 18, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by shothotbot at 1:19 PM on April 18, 2013 [5 favorites]
"Self-improvement is masturbation."
--Tyler Durden
posted by Sleeper at 1:19 PM on April 18, 2013 [8 favorites]
--Tyler Durden
posted by Sleeper at 1:19 PM on April 18, 2013 [8 favorites]
Not having sex with a partner is hard mode? Well shit, then. I must be working on a high score here.
I was going to make a joke if that is hard then I'm on legendary, but I guess the glory has to go to people who type with both hands.
posted by selenized at 1:21 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
I was going to make a joke if that is hard then I'm on legendary, but I guess the glory has to go to people who type with both hands.
posted by selenized at 1:21 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
We should come up with a term for the particular cycle of cult awareness, adherence, and ultimate rejection described by the schema "TED TALK:TEDX TALK:REDDIT COMMUNITY:SKEPTICISM".
posted by anewnadir at 1:22 PM on April 18, 2013 [12 favorites]
posted by anewnadir at 1:22 PM on April 18, 2013 [12 favorites]
He's right you know- I should probably take a break from whacking it.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:22 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:22 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
The Reddit nofap badges really are a thing. No, go look, little smiley faces for just a few days, coins for weeks, and gold stars for months. There's a FAQ and a badge granting robot. And of course the whole purpose is to demonstrate to everyone on /r/NoFap the last time you masturbated. It's a fascinating sort of exhibitionism.
posted by Nelson at 1:22 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Nelson at 1:22 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
At the very least, masturbating 6 or 7 times a day is time consuming.
posted by themanwho at 1:23 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by themanwho at 1:23 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
“NoFap isn’t a challenge. It’s a way of life.” In the thread, Aterazideme posted: “I desire to be a person in control of his desires. Each day of NoFap brings me close to that ideal.”
"If this is anyone but Saint Augustine, you're stealing my bit!"
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:24 PM on April 18, 2013 [19 favorites]
"If this is anyone but Saint Augustine, you're stealing my bit!"
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:24 PM on April 18, 2013 [19 favorites]
Traditionally, people undergo a bit of self-examination when faced with a potentially fatal rupture in their long-term relationship.
Post-breakup self-examination leads to voluntary abstinence from self-examination.
posted by nathancaswell at 1:25 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Post-breakup self-examination leads to voluntary abstinence from self-examination.
posted by nathancaswell at 1:25 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Look, just bang one out if you fancy it. It does you good.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 1:25 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by GallonOfAlan at 1:25 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
These guys are unfappable.
posted by Kabanos at 1:26 PM on April 18, 2013 [9 favorites]
posted by Kabanos at 1:26 PM on April 18, 2013 [9 favorites]
I'd also like to see a venn diagram of the membership of r/NoFap and r/MensRights.
posted by anewnadir at 1:26 PM on April 18, 2013 [19 favorites]
posted by anewnadir at 1:26 PM on April 18, 2013 [19 favorites]
It is sort of funny that an anti-circle jerk movement could be started by a TedX talk.
posted by srboisvert at 1:27 PM on April 18, 2013 [15 favorites]
posted by srboisvert at 1:27 PM on April 18, 2013 [15 favorites]
I stopped masturbating seventeen years ago. Relapsed once, about three years in, when i was drunk at a friend's wedding. Felt really sick, never been tempted since.
No hang on, that was smoking.
posted by reynir at 1:27 PM on April 18, 2013 [60 favorites]
No hang on, that was smoking.
posted by reynir at 1:27 PM on April 18, 2013 [60 favorites]
Yep, that should just about do it.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:28 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:28 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by GallonOfAlan
Oh man I wish you hadn't posted in this thread.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:29 PM on April 18, 2013 [59 favorites]
Oh man I wish you hadn't posted in this thread.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:29 PM on April 18, 2013 [59 favorites]
"He erased a corner of the white board in his home office and started a tally of days, always using Roman numerals. 'That way,' he says, 'it would mean more.'"
Wait, what?
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 1:29 PM on April 18, 2013 [15 favorites]
Wait, what?
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 1:29 PM on April 18, 2013 [15 favorites]
Look, just bang one out if you fancy it. It does you good.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 4:25 PM on April 18 [+] [!]
eponysti'm sleepy
posted by griphus at 1:30 PM on April 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by GallonOfAlan at 4:25 PM on April 18 [+] [!]
eponysti'm sleepy
posted by griphus at 1:30 PM on April 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
DAMMIT SHAKES
posted by griphus at 1:30 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by griphus at 1:30 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
...from my cold dead hand.
posted by Thorzdad at 1:30 PM on April 18, 2013 [22 favorites]
posted by Thorzdad at 1:30 PM on April 18, 2013 [22 favorites]
There is a 12 step group, sex and love addicts anonymous, which has various degrees of abstinence as its version of staying clean. It can be limiting oneself to sex with one's partner only and including no masturbation. So if no partner, no ejaculation. Not sure about (ahem) all the ins and outs). A quick check shows still two meetings a day in Manhattan, so I guess its still around though I havn't heard much about it in ten or fifteen years.
In the old days we used to joke about leaving the AA meeting and trying to find a girl from SLA on a relapse. Ha ha we used to laugh.
posted by shothotbot at 1:30 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
In the old days we used to joke about leaving the AA meeting and trying to find a girl from SLA on a relapse. Ha ha we used to laugh.
posted by shothotbot at 1:30 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
Oh man I wish you hadn't posted in this thread.
Seriously, I'm trying to eat here.
posted by Lorin at 1:31 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
Seriously, I'm trying to eat here.
posted by Lorin at 1:31 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
Traditionally, people undergo a bit of self-examination when faced with a potentially fatal rupture in their long-term relationship.
I feel like there's a lot of dudes (on Reddit especially) who bury themselves in things like video games and pop-philosophy like Fight Club and Reddit's quasi-"movements" like NoFap and MensRights and that sort of thing specifically so they don't have to confront the things they don't like about themselves specifically because their entire ego is built around an inflated self-perception that would collapse under the slightest pressure.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 1:32 PM on April 18, 2013 [28 favorites]
I feel like there's a lot of dudes (on Reddit especially) who bury themselves in things like video games and pop-philosophy like Fight Club and Reddit's quasi-"movements" like NoFap and MensRights and that sort of thing specifically so they don't have to confront the things they don't like about themselves specifically because their entire ego is built around an inflated self-perception that would collapse under the slightest pressure.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 1:32 PM on April 18, 2013 [28 favorites]
No-fap November or whatever they call it virtually takes over reddit. It is almost like people channel their energies into making image macros about how they are not jerking off. Don't know if it is better or worse when every confession bear is about secretly jerking off in no-fap November or secretly killing your sister's boyfriend.
posted by Ad hominem at 1:33 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Ad hominem at 1:33 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
It's been nearly an hour and no one's made a Seinfeld reference yet?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:33 PM on April 18, 2013 [10 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:33 PM on April 18, 2013 [10 favorites]
Why do we trust Zimbardo around science, again?
posted by Navelgazer at 1:33 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Navelgazer at 1:33 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
...pop-philosophy like Fight Club...
Wait, I thought Fight Club was satirizing that very thing you describe and that aspect just totally went over their heads.
posted by griphus at 1:34 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Wait, I thought Fight Club was satirizing that very thing you describe and that aspect just totally went over their heads.
posted by griphus at 1:34 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
At the very least, masturbating 6 or 7 times a day is time consuming
Yes, but if you want to get really good at anything you have to put in the practice.
The article seems to equate wanking with porn use, but they do not necessarily go together. I rarely look at porn.
posted by Segundus at 1:34 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
Yes, but if you want to get really good at anything you have to put in the practice.
The article seems to equate wanking with porn use, but they do not necessarily go together. I rarely look at porn.
posted by Segundus at 1:34 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
Wait, I thought Fight Club was satirizing that very thing you describe and that aspect just totally went over their heads.
Truffaut, war movies, blah de blah.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 1:36 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
Truffaut, war movies, blah de blah.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 1:36 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
I thought Fight Club was satirizing that very thing you describe and that aspect just totally went over their heads.
Considering how many people started their own fight clubs after the movie came out, I think a lot of people missed the point.
posted by asnider at 1:37 PM on April 18, 2013 [8 favorites]
Considering how many people started their own fight clubs after the movie came out, I think a lot of people missed the point.
posted by asnider at 1:37 PM on April 18, 2013 [8 favorites]
Oh look, abstaining from something as a way to gain a feeling of control over a vital biological function, god it reminds me something, on the tip of my tongue....
posted by The Whelk at 1:41 PM on April 18, 2013 [11 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 1:41 PM on April 18, 2013 [11 favorites]
At the very least, masturbating 6 or 7 times a day is time consuming
It's been a while, but when I was capable/interested in doing it that often, I don't really remember it taking very long at all.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:42 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
It's been a while, but when I was capable/interested in doing it that often, I don't really remember it taking very long at all.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:42 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
I too am funding the lack of instant Seinfeld references shocking. Clearly the world has moved on.
posted by Artw at 1:42 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Artw at 1:42 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
“I desire to be a person in control of his desires. Each day of NoFap brings me close to that ideal.”
While NoFap seems to have a home on Reddit and has been mentioned on TEDx, the first time I recall hearing about it was in pickup contexts or on /fit/. It struck me then, as it does now, as being bound up in a frustration about unfulfilled sexual desire, and a sour-grapes attempt to somehow rebuke the world at large by displaying self control and by inhabiting a slightly-skewed but otherwise fairly traditional conception of masculinity.
I'm sure a lot of them just realize "hey, I'm in kind of a rut," like suddenly being aware that you've been drinking every day of the week, or are spending all your time online. But in a lot of the discussions there's also an undercurrent of less-than-healthy ideas about purity, desire and control.
posted by postcommunism at 1:42 PM on April 18, 2013 [11 favorites]
While NoFap seems to have a home on Reddit and has been mentioned on TEDx, the first time I recall hearing about it was in pickup contexts or on /fit/. It struck me then, as it does now, as being bound up in a frustration about unfulfilled sexual desire, and a sour-grapes attempt to somehow rebuke the world at large by displaying self control and by inhabiting a slightly-skewed but otherwise fairly traditional conception of masculinity.
I'm sure a lot of them just realize "hey, I'm in kind of a rut," like suddenly being aware that you've been drinking every day of the week, or are spending all your time online. But in a lot of the discussions there's also an undercurrent of less-than-healthy ideas about purity, desire and control.
posted by postcommunism at 1:42 PM on April 18, 2013 [11 favorites]
"[Henry] erased a corner of the white board in his home office
and started a tally of days,
always using Roman numerals.
'That way,' he says, 'it would mean more.'"
Look! It's a lost Berryman Dream Song!
posted by octobersurprise at 1:43 PM on April 18, 2013 [11 favorites]
and started a tally of days,
always using Roman numerals.
'That way,' he says, 'it would mean more.'"
Look! It's a lost Berryman Dream Song!
posted by octobersurprise at 1:43 PM on April 18, 2013 [11 favorites]
File with never-nudes and the guy I knew in high school who tried to only take a dump once every 10 days.
posted by Beardman at 1:44 PM on April 18, 2013 [10 favorites]
posted by Beardman at 1:44 PM on April 18, 2013 [10 favorites]
Fight Club was a satire like Hellraiser was a documentary about theological conceptions of hell.
posted by koeselitz at 1:45 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by koeselitz at 1:45 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
I think it's just laughable that they claim it improves concentration. Nothing is more distracting than walking around with a "loaded gun".
Maybe if I took some Icelandic Ultra Blue, I could find the energy to control my fapping.
posted by The Power Nap at 1:45 PM on April 18, 2013
Maybe if I took some Icelandic Ultra Blue, I could find the energy to control my fapping.
posted by The Power Nap at 1:45 PM on April 18, 2013
and a sour-grapes attempt to somehow rebuke the world at large by displaying self control and by inhabiting a slightly-skewed but otherwise fairly traditional conception of masculinity.
I have (had? It's been a while since we talked) a friend who was very ...unfortunate looking and not well socialized in HS and college and then he spent like 4 years working out and blossomed into a disturbingly handsome man that refuses to date or have sex in order to "punish" the world for being so shallow.
I think it's somewhat related.
posted by The Whelk at 1:48 PM on April 18, 2013 [19 favorites]
I have (had? It's been a while since we talked) a friend who was very ...unfortunate looking and not well socialized in HS and college and then he spent like 4 years working out and blossomed into a disturbingly handsome man that refuses to date or have sex in order to "punish" the world for being so shallow.
I think it's somewhat related.
posted by The Whelk at 1:48 PM on April 18, 2013 [19 favorites]
File [No-Fap] with never-nudes and the guy I knew in high school who tried to only take a dump once every 10 days.
For the love of God, I hope these are three separate files because the person who fits all three categories terrifies me.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:49 PM on April 18, 2013 [8 favorites]
For the love of God, I hope these are three separate files because the person who fits all three categories terrifies me.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:49 PM on April 18, 2013 [8 favorites]
MASTER OF THE ZONE.
posted by Artw at 1:49 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Artw at 1:49 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Autozone?
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:50 PM on April 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:50 PM on April 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
> blossomed into a disturbingly handsome man that refuses to date or have sex in order to "punish" the world for being so shallow.
He's living the dream of everyone on /r9k/ and half of Reddit.
posted by postcommunism at 1:51 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
He's living the dream of everyone on /r9k/ and half of Reddit.
posted by postcommunism at 1:51 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
I have (had? It's been a while since we talked) a friend who was very ...unfortunate looking and not well socialized in HS and college and then he spent like 4 years working out and blossomed into a disturbingly handsome man that refuses to date or have sex in order to "punish" the world for being so shallow.
Does this guy think he lives in a Byronic novel or something?
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 1:52 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
Does this guy think he lives in a Byronic novel or something?
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 1:52 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
Wuthering Heights is his favorite book yes.
posted by The Whelk at 1:53 PM on April 18, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 1:53 PM on April 18, 2013 [5 favorites]
This is a thread full of inadvertent revelations.
posted by Diablevert at 1:54 PM on April 18, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by Diablevert at 1:54 PM on April 18, 2013 [6 favorites]
Buncha jerkoffs.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 1:54 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 1:54 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Hey, at least we are masters of our domains.
posted by Melismata at 1:56 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Melismata at 1:56 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
I was just on the verge of asking people what a "purpose penis" is.
I believe the correct term is "special purpose."
posted by burnmp3s at 1:57 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
I believe the correct term is "special purpose."
posted by burnmp3s at 1:57 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
Now then, whats the point of a domain no one wants to conquer?
posted by The Whelk at 1:57 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 1:57 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Many anti-masturbators start having wet dreams.
THIS ^^^. If I go 5-6 days without an ejaculation, I will get one at night. Wet dreams stink.
And what about prostate health?
Also, just like masturbation does not have to equal pornography use, masturbation does not have to equal ejaculation. I'd say I ejaculate about 50% of the time I masturbate. ... TMI!
"An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away"
posted by mrgrimm at 2:00 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
THIS ^^^. If I go 5-6 days without an ejaculation, I will get one at night. Wet dreams stink.
And what about prostate health?
Also, just like masturbation does not have to equal pornography use, masturbation does not have to equal ejaculation. I'd say I ejaculate about 50% of the time I masturbate. ... TMI!
"An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away"
posted by mrgrimm at 2:00 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
the first time I recall hearing about it was in pickup contexts or on /fit/.apparently the things you are mentioning are boards on 4chan
4chan is 4chan, why the fuck be there
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 2:00 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
purpose-headed warrior
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:07 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:07 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I was just on the verge of asking people what a "purpose penis" is.
I believe the correct term is "special purpose."
"Special Purpose Vehicle"
posted by grobstein at 2:08 PM on April 18, 2013
I believe the correct term is "special purpose."
"Special Purpose Vehicle"
posted by grobstein at 2:08 PM on April 18, 2013
Wet dreams stink.
Might I suggest more pineapple?
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:12 PM on April 18, 2013 [17 favorites]
Might I suggest more pineapple?
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:12 PM on April 18, 2013 [17 favorites]
I've started to have the suspicion, lately, that some of these movements where men voluntarily opt out of something historically and culturally deprived women due to sexism (keeping "thin," for example), it's net result is just to perpetuate the very gender disparity there in the first place. In this case, seems we've found a bunch of dudes who are in it for just that reason.
posted by Apropos of Something at 2:13 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Apropos of Something at 2:13 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
These men are lying or they lack functional male sex organs.
posted by humanfont at 2:19 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by humanfont at 2:19 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Shouldn't they just edge, if they're so gung ho about developing control of their desires? I mean, you'll develop just as much willpower (hello, frog and toad!) but have a much better time doing it.
posted by davejay at 2:22 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by davejay at 2:22 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
These guys are unfappable.
Indefapigable, even?
posted by Strange Interlude at 2:23 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
Indefapigable, even?
posted by Strange Interlude at 2:23 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
I feel like this thread is 50% slang terms that I don't understand.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:24 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by shakespeherian at 2:24 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
MCMikeNamara: "Reddit Purity Ball" is not a phrase I ever thought I would have reason to use. But here we are.
Ehh, I gotcher purity ball right here! except mine's blue
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:24 PM on April 18, 2013
Ehh, I gotcher purity ball right here! except mine's blue
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:24 PM on April 18, 2013
“fapstronauts,” as they call themselves
The average speed of a human ejaculation about 45 kilometers per hour.
On the surface of the Earth, the escape velocity is about 11.2 kilometers per second.
It's not for me to mock a man's dreams and aspirations, but this seems a little unrealistic. Even disregarding air friction.
posted by sebastienbailard at 2:25 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
The average speed of a human ejaculation about 45 kilometers per hour.
On the surface of the Earth, the escape velocity is about 11.2 kilometers per second.
It's not for me to mock a man's dreams and aspirations, but this seems a little unrealistic. Even disregarding air friction.
posted by sebastienbailard at 2:25 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
Apropos, on /r/nofap, there's definitely some backwards gender attitudes (like saying that they can't have sex because "Rocky can't fuck Adrian when he's training," but they mostly seem to be in it for the super powers. I think they're crazier than you think. The sexism is incidental.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 2:26 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 2:26 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
Ejaculation is healthy for your plumbing. At least, so sayeth my urologist. (I guess you could just try really hard not to enjoy it.)
posted by en forme de poire at 2:26 PM on April 18, 2013
posted by en forme de poire at 2:26 PM on April 18, 2013
"Reddit Purity Ball" is not a phrase I ever thought I would have reason to use.
I read that as RedBull Purity Ring, which is no less preposterous.
posted by mrgrimm at 2:27 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
I read that as RedBull Purity Ring, which is no less preposterous.
posted by mrgrimm at 2:27 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
I was able to notice birds chirping, which I haven’t done in years
Protip: If you jerk off to the point where you can no longer hear birds, slow the fuck down.
posted by dr_dank at 2:33 PM on April 18, 2013 [70 favorites]
Protip: If you jerk off to the point where you can no longer hear birds, slow the fuck down.
posted by dr_dank at 2:33 PM on April 18, 2013 [70 favorites]
General Jack D. Ripper: Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No.
General Jack D. Ripper: But I... I do deny them my essence.
(You guys are slipping.)
posted by entropicamericana at 2:36 PM on April 18, 2013 [35 favorites]
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No.
General Jack D. Ripper: But I... I do deny them my essence.
(You guys are slipping.)
posted by entropicamericana at 2:36 PM on April 18, 2013 [35 favorites]
People are so bizarre about such things. It's like people who suddenly decide, out of the blue and for only the sketchiest reasons, to start avoiding gluten or blue-veined cheese or some other wonderful thing that makes the tragic neutrality of human existence into a root of joy.
My ex, who went ex-gay after we split, then regained his reason, is always going "celibate" in a kind of celebration of late midlife defeatism, and I just don't get it.
Good for you if you find some mystical clarity in squelching a normal function of being, but I'm just content if I can keep it down to daily single digits, and when I fall into a hard funk in which the flattening of affect kills my desire, I end up with this horrible sort of sore and tangly congestion in the low country that makes me start to suspect I've got cancer.
What a strange lot we are.
Mind you, I'd be happy if I could give up my damn security blanket, given that I'm well into middle age, but we all have our own wellspring of crazy.
posted by sonascope at 2:36 PM on April 18, 2013 [16 favorites]
My ex, who went ex-gay after we split, then regained his reason, is always going "celibate" in a kind of celebration of late midlife defeatism, and I just don't get it.
Good for you if you find some mystical clarity in squelching a normal function of being, but I'm just content if I can keep it down to daily single digits, and when I fall into a hard funk in which the flattening of affect kills my desire, I end up with this horrible sort of sore and tangly congestion in the low country that makes me start to suspect I've got cancer.
What a strange lot we are.
Mind you, I'd be happy if I could give up my damn security blanket, given that I'm well into middle age, but we all have our own wellspring of crazy.
posted by sonascope at 2:36 PM on April 18, 2013 [16 favorites]
There should be a term for when you really want to make a joke, but can't think of anything that isn't forced.
posted by oddman at 2:37 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by oddman at 2:37 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
You do not want to be around when these guys fall off the wagon.
posted by melt away at 2:41 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by melt away at 2:41 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
Here's the thing.....
...how could anyone confirm you where, in fact, doing this without watching you 24 hours a day? It's like a perfect storm of internet bravado.
posted by The Whelk at 2:42 PM on April 18, 2013
...how could anyone confirm you where, in fact, doing this without watching you 24 hours a day? It's like a perfect storm of internet bravado.
posted by The Whelk at 2:42 PM on April 18, 2013
╔Ennui═══════╗ ║▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ╚════════════╝ ENNUI HAS REACHED CRITICAL MASS PLEASE REFER TO YOUR SERVICE MANUALposted by hellojed at 2:47 PM on April 18, 2013 [39 favorites]
blossomed into a disturbingly handsome man that refuses to date or have sex in order to "punish" the world for being so shallow.
Screw you face! Nose had it coming.
posted by flaterik at 2:48 PM on April 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
Screw you face! Nose had it coming.
posted by flaterik at 2:48 PM on April 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
My understanding of the Fapstronauts on reddit is that it is specifically about giving up porn, not about giving up masturbation. By trying to put it in a historical abstinance perspective, the New Yorker is missing the point. What the Fapstronauts are trying to deal with is not like anything that has happened before.
posted by memebake at 2:49 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by memebake at 2:49 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
I'm not sure that the effects are placebo. It seems like a lot of the NOFAP stuff is about getting away from problematic habits like porn addiction and the shame that can go along with it- which can translate into shame and/or a lack of confidence and a harder time having a normal dating/sexual relationship with a real person. Kind of like how giving up booze is a boon for an alcoholic but could be inconsequential for the average person.
posted by beau jackson at 2:50 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by beau jackson at 2:50 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
"The reason I'm a poor excuse for a human being is because I masturbate too much! Or maybe it's the porn! How dare you think it's related to my inability to engage in any kind of introspective, self-critical analysis of my faults and the way I judge and treat other people!"
posted by MetalFingerz at 2:51 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by MetalFingerz at 2:51 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
It's true - the nofap stuff is more about kicking a porn addiction. Something like Pointless Waste of Time's Great Internet Porn-Off. The rule against any masturbation at all, though, makes it more extreme, and I think it makes sense to put it next to historical abstinence movements.
"The reason I'm a poor excuse for a human being is because I masturbate too much! Or maybe it's the porn! How dare you think it's related to my inability to engage in any kind of introspective, self-critical analysis of my faults and the way I judge and treat other people!"
Sadly, there's no way to mark consecutive days of correct self-analysis on your calendar.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 2:55 PM on April 18, 2013
"The reason I'm a poor excuse for a human being is because I masturbate too much! Or maybe it's the porn! How dare you think it's related to my inability to engage in any kind of introspective, self-critical analysis of my faults and the way I judge and treat other people!"
Sadly, there's no way to mark consecutive days of correct self-analysis on your calendar.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 2:55 PM on April 18, 2013
A guy I used to work with claimed to be a virgin who had never masturbated.
His desk was full of plastic-canvas yarn crafts.
I believe he was telling the truth.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 2:56 PM on April 18, 2013 [5 favorites]
His desk was full of plastic-canvas yarn crafts.
I believe he was telling the truth.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 2:56 PM on April 18, 2013 [5 favorites]
Metafilter : A sore and tangly congestion in the low country
posted by fullerine at 2:59 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by fullerine at 2:59 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
What strikes me about these responses is that apparently not everyone is perpetually stuck between shame and desire when it comes to sex. Consider this though: some people are.
posted by Lorin at 3:00 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by Lorin at 3:00 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
The Eighty Years' War: A sore and tangly congestion in the low country
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:01 PM on April 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:01 PM on April 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
Sadly, there's no way to mark consecutive days of correct self-analysis on your calendar.
See, the rebirth of a fine monastic tradition would kill two birds with one stone.
posted by The Whelk at 3:03 PM on April 18, 2013 [5 favorites]
See, the rebirth of a fine monastic tradition would kill two birds with one stone.
posted by The Whelk at 3:03 PM on April 18, 2013 [5 favorites]
If it helps a dude get over his death-grip issues*, I'm all for it.
*Not bitter at my last ex at all.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 3:12 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
*Not bitter at my last ex at all.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 3:12 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I also drained about an hour of my life looking over the reddit nofap crap after being referred there in a metafilter thread. I still do not have the answer to the question that most intrigues me. The thing is the hours per day of masturbation to online porn. I could have conceivably done this when I was 17 or 19 years old; it was not a physical impossibility as far as my anatomy was concerned. Except. I had roommates until age 24 or so at which point it sure was a physical impossibility. I never was in an environment where masturbating and having a roommate know about it in real time or where a roommate masturbating and me knowing about it in real time was socially acceptable.
Do today's 17-19 year old males routinely masturbate in a manner that roommates are aware of it in real time? Do today's 17-19 year old males mostly have their own apartments? I don't understand how all this balances up in terms of time and resources. I suspect it may be a really tiny fraction of humanity that has the opportunity to spend hours per day masturbating to online porn.
posted by bukvich at 3:22 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Do today's 17-19 year old males routinely masturbate in a manner that roommates are aware of it in real time? Do today's 17-19 year old males mostly have their own apartments? I don't understand how all this balances up in terms of time and resources. I suspect it may be a really tiny fraction of humanity that has the opportunity to spend hours per day masturbating to online porn.
posted by bukvich at 3:22 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
You don't have to be ashamed of something to think that it might be better to do less of it. I don't have a drinking problem, but I have a particular fondness for a good gin and tonic. The thing is, after at one point purchasing really amazing tonic water for cheap on Amazon and then grabbing a bottle of Hendrick's, I went awhile drinking really amazing G&Ts on, like, a nightly basis. They were markedly less amazing after a couple weeks of that. I now ration them out because sometimes doing less of something means appreciating it more.
I totally respect anybody else who wants to do that about any of their pleasures. Things that feel good are hard to give up for feeling even better later, but it may be worth it.
Cutting back on the alcohol has not yet granted me superpowers, though.
posted by Sequence at 3:25 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I totally respect anybody else who wants to do that about any of their pleasures. Things that feel good are hard to give up for feeling even better later, but it may be worth it.
Cutting back on the alcohol has not yet granted me superpowers, though.
posted by Sequence at 3:25 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I mean, really, it's the other way around. Tequila makes me not afraid of the police.
posted by The Whelk at 3:27 PM on April 18, 2013 [7 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 3:27 PM on April 18, 2013 [7 favorites]
Ejaculation is healthy for your plumbing. At least, so sayeth my urologist.
Guy goes to the doctor. Says, "Doc, you gotta help me. I don't know what's up. I'm tired all the time, worn out, can't concentrate, no appetite, no energy, no libido . . . what's wrong with me?"
Doc says, "you have to stop masturbating."
"Really?" says the guy, "Why?"
"So I can examine you," says the doc.
posted by The Bellman at 3:32 PM on April 18, 2013 [70 favorites]
Guy goes to the doctor. Says, "Doc, you gotta help me. I don't know what's up. I'm tired all the time, worn out, can't concentrate, no appetite, no energy, no libido . . . what's wrong with me?"
Doc says, "you have to stop masturbating."
"Really?" says the guy, "Why?"
"So I can examine you," says the doc.
posted by The Bellman at 3:32 PM on April 18, 2013 [70 favorites]
These people spend more time talking and thinking about their non-masturbation club than I spend masturbating.
posted by crayz at 3:35 PM on April 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by crayz at 3:35 PM on April 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
...how could anyone confirm you where, in fact, doing this without watching you 24 hours a day? It's like a perfect storm of internet bravado.
So you're saying I could claim not only to never masturbate, but also that I go to fertility clinics, steal their semen, cram it up my urethra, and digest it in my nards... and nobody could prove otherwise?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:40 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
So you're saying I could claim not only to never masturbate, but also that I go to fertility clinics, steal their semen, cram it up my urethra, and digest it in my nards... and nobody could prove otherwise?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:40 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
"hard mode" = marriage
posted by greenhornet at 3:40 PM on April 18, 2013
posted by greenhornet at 3:40 PM on April 18, 2013
What the Fapstronauts are trying to deal with is not like anything that has happened before.
You mean the fapstronauts are trying to go where no man has gone before?
posted by octobersurprise at 3:42 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
You mean the fapstronauts are trying to go where no man has gone before?
posted by octobersurprise at 3:42 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
They're explorers in the further regions of experience, octobersurprise.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:43 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:43 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
I could have conceivably done this when I was 17 or 19 years old; it was not a physical impossibility as far as my anatomy was concerned. Except. I had roommates until age 24 or so at which point it sure was a physical impossibility.
If by masturbation you mean masturbation to ejaculation then that makes sense, sure, but removed from the equation there's no age barrier to playing with your dick for hours on end. I'm not interested, thanks, but I "get" the idealized self-denial espoused by groups like this as the polar opposite of such sustained states of heightened desire.
posted by Lorin at 3:52 PM on April 18, 2013
If by masturbation you mean masturbation to ejaculation then that makes sense, sure, but removed from the equation there's no age barrier to playing with your dick for hours on end. I'm not interested, thanks, but I "get" the idealized self-denial espoused by groups like this as the polar opposite of such sustained states of heightened desire.
posted by Lorin at 3:52 PM on April 18, 2013
"The fapstronauts" sounds like the title of a porno Hanna-Barbera cartoon, actually.
posted by octobersurprise at 3:55 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by octobersurprise at 3:55 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
I think there's a large subset of men who use "masculinity" the way I use "self esteem." They frame all goals and successes through the lens of BEING MANLY. I get that restraint and control over your body can make you feel pretty awesome, but I don't really understand why it has to be "I feel virile and full of masculine energy!" instead of "I feel good because I set a goal an accomplished it!" It seems unnecessarily gendered and limiting.
posted by almostmanda at 3:56 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by almostmanda at 3:56 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
he went from being a virgin to meeting a woman on his flight, getting a “raging boner,” and having sex with her in both the plane and an airport hotel. The confidence he got from that encounter, he said, not only helped him perform well at a job interview later, and secure a job at a hedge fund for the summer,
Hard to understand why Wall Street is in such a shambles these days...
posted by ShutterBun at 3:57 PM on April 18, 2013 [5 favorites]
Hard to understand why Wall Street is in such a shambles these days...
posted by ShutterBun at 3:57 PM on April 18, 2013 [5 favorites]
They're explorers in the further regions of experience, octobersurprise.
Angels to some, demons to others...
posted by Artw at 3:58 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
Angels to some, demons to others...
posted by Artw at 3:58 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
Just a comment here. I've got reddit with the NSFW filter on on my desktop. On my laptop next to it, I have it off. (I filter out, using RES, a whole bunch of the subreddits I don't care for already.) It's a little surprising to see just how in your face /r/gonewild is. I'd imagine that for some, having that amount of lovely flesh mixed into your news, humor and conversation stream it could prove rather distracting. I found it a little boring after a while.
posted by Catblack at 3:58 PM on April 18, 2013
posted by Catblack at 3:58 PM on April 18, 2013
re: he went from being a virgin to meeting a woman on his flight, getting a “raging boner...
Now that that specific story has been cited in the thread, let me point out that I believe the 19 year old poster who told that story online as much as I believe... actually nothing. There is nothing that I don't believe as much as that story.
New York Magazine should be embarrassed for having published it without comment.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 4:00 PM on April 18, 2013 [10 favorites]
Now that that specific story has been cited in the thread, let me point out that I believe the 19 year old poster who told that story online as much as I believe... actually nothing. There is nothing that I don't believe as much as that story.
New York Magazine should be embarrassed for having published it without comment.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 4:00 PM on April 18, 2013 [10 favorites]
oddman: There should be a term for when you really want to make a joke, but can't think of anything that isn't forced.
"The majority of post-season 8 or so of The Simpsons"?
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:00 PM on April 18, 2013 [9 favorites]
"The majority of post-season 8 or so of The Simpsons"?
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:00 PM on April 18, 2013 [9 favorites]
I think there's a large subset of men who use "masculinity" the way I use "self esteem." They frame all goals and successes through the lens of BEING MANLY.
Yeah, almostmanda, I've noticed that while reading over stuff like The Art of Manliness and The Good Men Project, both of which have endorsed some pretty terrible things.
he went from being a virgin to meeting a woman on his flight, getting a “raging boner,” and having sex with her in both the plane and an airport hotel.
This is the premise of an Aerosmith song, not a real thing, right?
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:00 PM on April 18, 2013 [12 favorites]
Yeah, almostmanda, I've noticed that while reading over stuff like The Art of Manliness and The Good Men Project, both of which have endorsed some pretty terrible things.
he went from being a virgin to meeting a woman on his flight, getting a “raging boner,” and having sex with her in both the plane and an airport hotel.
This is the premise of an Aerosmith song, not a real thing, right?
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:00 PM on April 18, 2013 [12 favorites]
Do today's 17-19 year old males routinely masturbate in a manner that roommates are aware of it in real time? Do today's 17-19 year old males mostly have their own apartments? I don't understand how all this balances up in terms of time and resources. I suspect it may be a really tiny fraction of humanity that has the opportunity to spend hours per day masturbating to online porn.
If you're alone in your room and you wear headphones, your roommate will probably not know that you're watching porn/masturbating unless you're particularly nosy/vocal while doing so.
I'm not sure if that answers your question, because your phrasing has left me a bit unsure as to what, exactly, the question is.
posted by asnider at 4:02 PM on April 18, 2013
If you're alone in your room and you wear headphones, your roommate will probably not know that you're watching porn/masturbating unless you're particularly nosy/vocal while doing so.
I'm not sure if that answers your question, because your phrasing has left me a bit unsure as to what, exactly, the question is.
posted by asnider at 4:02 PM on April 18, 2013
Came here to make a 'from my cold dead hands...' joke before I realized I was at least 5 years too late.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 4:06 PM on April 18, 2013
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 4:06 PM on April 18, 2013
"[Henry] erased a corner of the white board in his home office
and started a tally of days,
always using Roman numerals
I should think day thirty would be an awfully tempting one to break the streak.
posted by ShutterBun at 4:06 PM on April 18, 2013 [19 favorites]
and started a tally of days,
always using Roman numerals
I should think day thirty would be an awfully tempting one to break the streak.
posted by ShutterBun at 4:06 PM on April 18, 2013 [19 favorites]
I can't decide if it's totally ironic or completely non-ironic that this level of will power is put toward something so, well, masturbatory. If these people put restraints on all the terrible things they do--being obnoxious, abusing alcohol/drugs, exploiting animals, driving cars--they'd be better people and the world would be a better place. As it stands, they accomplish nothing save a smug self-satisfaction.
posted by MetalFingerz at 4:07 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by MetalFingerz at 4:07 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
It's kind of like gaining a sense of smug self congratulatory satisfaction out of not using the letter e in conversation.
posted by The Whelk at 4:10 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 4:10 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
I found it a little boring after a while.
I worked as a layout artist for Hustler magazine last year. The (ahem) saturation of porn was really quite numbing indeed.
The guys I really felt bad for were the video QA team. 8 in the morning and they're staring at hardcore footage looking for encoding errors.
posted by ShutterBun at 4:12 PM on April 18, 2013 [5 favorites]
I worked as a layout artist for Hustler magazine last year. The (ahem) saturation of porn was really quite numbing indeed.
The guys I really felt bad for were the video QA team. 8 in the morning and they're staring at hardcore footage looking for encoding errors.
posted by ShutterBun at 4:12 PM on April 18, 2013 [5 favorites]
On this, I'm living proof of Gladwell's 10,000 hour rule. One should never just give up after achieving greatness.
posted by dios at 4:13 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by dios at 4:13 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
asnider I was 23 years old before I had my own room. I cannot recall a single classmate at university who had their own room.
posted by bukvich at 4:14 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by bukvich at 4:14 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Makes sense to me. Growing up I always thought masturbation was a waste of mental energy, a sap and a drain on creativity. Maybe it was leftover Catholic guilt but it seems like giving into the flesh and sending out emotional and mental energy that can better be channeled into creative work.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 4:14 PM on April 18, 2013
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 4:14 PM on April 18, 2013
It’s variously a privilege, a right, an act of political assertion, or one of the purest and most inconsequential pleasures that exist. Doctors assert that it’s healthy. Therapists recommend it
How has our culture reached this point, where the body is exalted above all?
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 4:17 PM on April 18, 2013
How has our culture reached this point, where the body is exalted above all?
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 4:17 PM on April 18, 2013
How has our culture reached this point, where the body is exalted above all?
Well, you just failed the nofap challenge.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:20 PM on April 18, 2013 [8 favorites]
Well, you just failed the nofap challenge.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:20 PM on April 18, 2013 [8 favorites]
Metafilter: onomatopoeic Internet slang for masturbation
posted by goHermGO at 4:32 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by goHermGO at 4:32 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I missread this as flapper initially. I'm almost surprised nobody created a Flapper or Fapper game, ala Gay or Eurotrash, probably just too easy when more challenging games exist.
posted by jeffburdges at 4:32 PM on April 18, 2013
posted by jeffburdges at 4:32 PM on April 18, 2013
So they're just not fapping? Pussies. If they really wanna get serious, they'll invest in a CB-6000, or a Carrara, or a Steelwerks Extreme, lock it up good and proper, and hand the key over to someone else for safekeeping.
(links are NSFW!)
posted by dnash at 4:43 PM on April 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
(links are NSFW!)
posted by dnash at 4:43 PM on April 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
I'm not going to read reddit, but..
no mention of the Tao and the preservation of jing?
the practice of bramacharya?
they didn't somehow invent this
posted by ninjew at 4:45 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
no mention of the Tao and the preservation of jing?
the practice of bramacharya?
they didn't somehow invent this
posted by ninjew at 4:45 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
Lao Tse also said over concern for a thing is often worse than the thing itself.
Something totally banal—the before and after pictures of a Weight Watchers commercial, for example—suddenly had meaning.
Er... wha?
But I always think of Diogenes when masturbation comes up.
When he was captured his friends wanted to buy him out of slavery. He called them fools and said: "lions are not the slaves of those who feed them, but rather those who feed them are at the mercy of the lions: for fear is the mark of the slave, whereas wild beasts make men afraid of them."
posted by Smedleyman at 5:01 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
Something totally banal—the before and after pictures of a Weight Watchers commercial, for example—suddenly had meaning.
Er... wha?
But I always think of Diogenes when masturbation comes up.
When he was captured his friends wanted to buy him out of slavery. He called them fools and said: "lions are not the slaves of those who feed them, but rather those who feed them are at the mercy of the lions: for fear is the mark of the slave, whereas wild beasts make men afraid of them."
posted by Smedleyman at 5:01 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
People doing this voluntarily just robs my wank-strikes of any political power whatsoever.
posted by George_Spiggott at 5:30 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by George_Spiggott at 5:30 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Growing up I always thought masturbation was a waste of mental energy, a sap and a drain on creativity. Maybe it was leftover Catholic guilt but it seems like giving into the flesh and sending out emotional and mental energy that can better be channeled into creative work.
So as someone who did not masturbate until after I lost my virginity who didn't even do that until college... I HAVE SO MANY D&D CHARACTERS TO TELL YOU ABOUT.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:42 PM on April 18, 2013 [8 favorites]
So as someone who did not masturbate until after I lost my virginity who didn't even do that until college... I HAVE SO MANY D&D CHARACTERS TO TELL YOU ABOUT.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:42 PM on April 18, 2013 [8 favorites]
There is something hilarious and dire about a TEDx talk by Phil Zimbardo, the researcher behind the Stanford Prison Experiment inspiring young men to do anything relating to power and control.
Who wants to start taking bets on how this ends? My vote is for a $185 Nike+ Fit-branded, Philippe Starck-designed ultramodern male chastity belt you can pair with your iPhone for complex involuntary arousal statistics.
posted by tapir-whorf at 5:43 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
Who wants to start taking bets on how this ends? My vote is for a $185 Nike+ Fit-branded, Philippe Starck-designed ultramodern male chastity belt you can pair with your iPhone for complex involuntary arousal statistics.
posted by tapir-whorf at 5:43 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
"The fapstronauts" sounds like the title of a porno Hanna-Barbera cartoon, actually.
This comment made me immediately imagine a hardcore pornographic version of The Herculoids, and now I don't want to ever imagine anything again as long as I live.
posted by webmutant at 5:45 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
This comment made me immediately imagine a hardcore pornographic version of The Herculoids, and now I don't want to ever imagine anything again as long as I live.
posted by webmutant at 5:45 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
George_Spiggott: ... my wank-strikes ...
Also known as "Standup Strikes"
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:53 PM on April 18, 2013
Also known as "Standup Strikes"
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:53 PM on April 18, 2013
Men who think masturbation is wrong are sexual perverts. They disgust me.
posted by Decani at 5:56 PM on April 18, 2013
posted by Decani at 5:56 PM on April 18, 2013
I'm almost too embarassed to ask this, but is the title a Dora the Explorer reference?
posted by dios at 6:02 PM on April 18, 2013
posted by dios at 6:02 PM on April 18, 2013
It definitely is. And it's amazing.
posted by sarastro at 6:07 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by sarastro at 6:07 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
Oh maaaaan....
posted by Artw at 6:16 PM on April 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by Artw at 6:16 PM on April 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
It needs to be repeated three times to actually work though.
And the last no is more like nooooo
posted by Sebmojo at 6:19 PM on April 18, 2013
And the last no is more like nooooo
posted by Sebmojo at 6:19 PM on April 18, 2013
Am I the only guy here who doesn't masturbate much because it doesn't usually cross my mind?
posted by wotsac at 6:30 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by wotsac at 6:30 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
This comment made me immediately imagine a hardcore pornographic version of The Herculoids
No, pornographic Herculoid fantasies are perfectly normal. It's the Grape Ape fantasies that are sick.
posted by octobersurprise at 6:42 PM on April 18, 2013
No, pornographic Herculoid fantasies are perfectly normal. It's the Grape Ape fantasies that are sick.
posted by octobersurprise at 6:42 PM on April 18, 2013
Protip: If you jerk off to the point where you can no longer hear birds, slow the fuck down.
THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE READ ALL WEEK.
Thank you, dr_dank.
posted by exlotuseater at 6:44 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE READ ALL WEEK.
Thank you, dr_dank.
posted by exlotuseater at 6:44 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
Time for some Avenue Q about what "normal" people do....
KATE: "No really, you're a pervert! Normal people don’t sit at home and look at porn on the internet."
TREKKIE: "Ohhhh?"
KATE: "What?!"
TREKKIE: "You have NO IDEA. Ready, normal people?"
(Every other dude in the cast pokes up his head)
NORMAL PEOPLE: "Ready--- ready ----ready!"
TREKKIE: "Let me hear it!"
TREKKIE AND GUYS: "The internet is for porn!"
PRINCETON: "Sorry, Kate!"
TREKKIE AND GUYS: "The internet is for porn!"
PRINCETON: "I masturbate!"
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:50 PM on April 18, 2013
KATE: "No really, you're a pervert! Normal people don’t sit at home and look at porn on the internet."
TREKKIE: "Ohhhh?"
KATE: "What?!"
TREKKIE: "You have NO IDEA. Ready, normal people?"
(Every other dude in the cast pokes up his head)
NORMAL PEOPLE: "Ready--- ready ----ready!"
TREKKIE: "Let me hear it!"
TREKKIE AND GUYS: "The internet is for porn!"
PRINCETON: "Sorry, Kate!"
TREKKIE AND GUYS: "The internet is for porn!"
PRINCETON: "I masturbate!"
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:50 PM on April 18, 2013
davejay: I mean, you'll develop just as much willpower (hello, frog and toad!) but have a much better time doing it.
I want to see these guys put their genitals in a box, tie it with string, and put it on a high shelf before throwing it on the lawn for the birds to eat.
posted by dr_dank at 7:19 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I want to see these guys put their genitals in a box, tie it with string, and put it on a high shelf before throwing it on the lawn for the birds to eat.
posted by dr_dank at 7:19 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I missread this as flapper initially. I'm almost surprised nobody created a Flapper or Fapper game, ala Gay or Eurotrash, probably just too easy when more challenging games exist.
That bearcat's got a wiggle on! I don't wanna sound like a bluenose but if I see her do one more Lindy Hop with that chassis and them gams, I'm gonna be allllll spifflicated! Wait til I tell the fellas at NoFlap about this!
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 7:28 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
That bearcat's got a wiggle on! I don't wanna sound like a bluenose but if I see her do one more Lindy Hop with that chassis and them gams, I'm gonna be allllll spifflicated! Wait til I tell the fellas at NoFlap about this!
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 7:28 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
It's a good thing this thread isn't too close to the RealTouch thread, because they might mutually annihilate in a flood of bits that would destroy the interweb.
OH MY GOD WHAT AM I DOING
posted by localroger at 7:32 PM on April 18, 2013
OH MY GOD WHAT AM I DOING
posted by localroger at 7:32 PM on April 18, 2013
One, two, three, four
One, two, three, four
One, two, three, four
Switch!
One, two, three, four
One, two, three, four
Make that bad boy twitch!
(not safe for...well, it was originally broadcast on the radio)
posted by 445supermag at 7:39 PM on April 18, 2013
One, two, three, four
One, two, three, four
Switch!
One, two, three, four
One, two, three, four
Make that bad boy twitch!
(not safe for...well, it was originally broadcast on the radio)
posted by 445supermag at 7:39 PM on April 18, 2013
Well you've gone a couple days, found it's all right for kicks
but now you've found out it's not a habit that sticks
'cause you're an orgasm addict
you're an orgasm addict
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 7:46 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
but now you've found out it's not a habit that sticks
'cause you're an orgasm addict
you're an orgasm addict
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 7:46 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
Quitting masturbation can change your life. As an example, here's a guy whose life improved when he quit masturbating (and incidentally changed almost everything else about his life too).
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 7:58 PM on April 18, 2013
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 7:58 PM on April 18, 2013
And that young man's name was... Generalissimo Francisco Franco.
And now you know... the rest of the story.
posted by hap_hazard at 8:07 PM on April 18, 2013 [5 favorites]
And now you know... the rest of the story.
posted by hap_hazard at 8:07 PM on April 18, 2013 [5 favorites]
Don't many cultures talk about preserving masculine essence before battle?
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 8:10 PM on April 18, 2013
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 8:10 PM on April 18, 2013
Well, there's this:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3072021.stm
posted by mule98J at 8:11 PM on April 18, 2013
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3072021.stm
posted by mule98J at 8:11 PM on April 18, 2013
Thank you so much for bringing the light of reddit to the benighted Blue! No more wanking, ever, ever, ever. It is responsible for my woes! Also I am quitting this site! Also drinking 20 gallons of water per day! yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
posted by zscore at 8:11 PM on April 18, 2013
posted by zscore at 8:11 PM on April 18, 2013
they didn't somehow invent this
These kind of redditors think they invented EVERYTHING. Seriously, the manosphere has realizations every week or so that are basically elements of the feminist definition of patriarchy that they think they came up with for the first time totally on their own, and then they proceed to blame women, feminism, political correctness, or any other random scapegoat for it.
I think there's a large subset of men who use "masculinity" the way I use "self esteem."
Yes, this, except their version of masculinity has so much shame and misogyny tied up in it that they are cutting themselves off from self esteem or confidence gained in any way that isn't approved by the reddit.
posted by NoraReed at 8:25 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
These kind of redditors think they invented EVERYTHING. Seriously, the manosphere has realizations every week or so that are basically elements of the feminist definition of patriarchy that they think they came up with for the first time totally on their own, and then they proceed to blame women, feminism, political correctness, or any other random scapegoat for it.
I think there's a large subset of men who use "masculinity" the way I use "self esteem."
Yes, this, except their version of masculinity has so much shame and misogyny tied up in it that they are cutting themselves off from self esteem or confidence gained in any way that isn't approved by the reddit.
posted by NoraReed at 8:25 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
jerking off maybe. But nobody is ever going to convince me to stop farting.
posted by Colonel Panic at 8:29 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by Colonel Panic at 8:29 PM on April 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
I gave up masturbation, but I'll never stop watching porn. I enjoy the plot and character development too much.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:08 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:08 PM on April 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
Meanwhile, Logo's made for TV movies have approximately the plot and character development of a Chi Chi LaRue flick (without the explicit sex).
posted by en forme de poire at 10:46 PM on April 18, 2013
posted by en forme de poire at 10:46 PM on April 18, 2013
I just realized that I would watch the shit out of a MST3K-esque show that riffed over terrible gay TV/movies. I nominate Jinkx Monsoon, The Whelk, and a random completely out-of-his-element straight guy for cast members.
posted by en forme de poire at 11:09 PM on April 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by en forme de poire at 11:09 PM on April 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
a random completely out-of-his-element straight guy
I'M IN!
posted by mrgrimm at 11:25 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I'M IN!
posted by mrgrimm at 11:25 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
You know, I do understand the porn fatigue, because porn is fucking tired, tired, tired these days. Same ten dudes (well, if you're looking at dude porn), same mindless repetition of step 1, step 2, step 3 standardized queer regimentation (again, in dude porn, but in straight porn, I hear it's even worse), and, the worst of all, the fucking script these people use. I don't even mean the old-fashioned kind of script that you used hear muscley dimwits trying to croak through with the acting conviction of third graders doing a play about healthy eating—I mean the script that somehow insinuated itself into the heads of so damn many queer dudes in this post-TLA-Releasing, post Chi-Chi-La-Christ post-post-omnimedia-video-ubiquity reality.
X me. X me harder. X me!
Yeah, I'm gonna Y the hell out you, bitch. I'm going to Y your fuckin' brains out. Take that Y! Take it, boy!
Thing is, for me, I found out why I was sick of porn. First—shaved, coiffed, shined, hypermuscular people are not like us humans. Humans are strange, lumpy, irregular creatures, and while you can spend a lifetime ruining a perfectly good torso with obsessive ab cultivation (nod to my punk rock redneck faggot friend for the line) until you, too, are as empty and glossy as porn, is the end result really all that great? Second, the predigested narratives just—fuck. So tired, even when it's just not supposed to be a narrative.
Real sex sometimes ends, not in three-camera cum shots, but in laughing, TV, and prolonged cuddling. Real sex means that you are probably never going to get out of a speeding ticket that way. Real sex means that sometimes, the worship isn't over how wonderfully hypertrophied one's pectoralis majors are, but over something simpler—the crinkle at the corner of a guy's eyes, or the way the line of the rim of the glans has a gentle sway just there, or the way a treasure trail draws you down to glorious abandonment. To each their own, of course, but the porn industry hasn't been about to each their own for ages and has contented itself with a boot stepping on balls forever.
I redeemed porn for myself by rejecting cinema.
Still pictures, printed in black and white on stiff paper worked throughout my youth, and though I'm storing them on a tablet instead of in a shoebox hidden on top of a furnace duct now, they still fire the engines. Look it over, as intently as a scientist, or someone in forensics. Trace the line of the physical form, the look in the eyes, the way the textures of a natural body work. Tell yourself a story about that dude, about where you'd meet, how things would go down, what he'd say, and what you'd say. You never hear, in your head, the same old clichés and boring mantras of control. Guys cough and stammer, you mumble, they chuckle. You tell yourself that story and it is your story, that fits your interests and fixations, and as such, it will work.
It's the death of imagination that makes porn dull, but it can be redeemed.
Stop the world, drop your drawers, and tell yourself a story.
posted by sonascope at 4:11 AM on April 19, 2013 [11 favorites]
X me. X me harder. X me!
Yeah, I'm gonna Y the hell out you, bitch. I'm going to Y your fuckin' brains out. Take that Y! Take it, boy!
Thing is, for me, I found out why I was sick of porn. First—shaved, coiffed, shined, hypermuscular people are not like us humans. Humans are strange, lumpy, irregular creatures, and while you can spend a lifetime ruining a perfectly good torso with obsessive ab cultivation (nod to my punk rock redneck faggot friend for the line) until you, too, are as empty and glossy as porn, is the end result really all that great? Second, the predigested narratives just—fuck. So tired, even when it's just not supposed to be a narrative.
Real sex sometimes ends, not in three-camera cum shots, but in laughing, TV, and prolonged cuddling. Real sex means that you are probably never going to get out of a speeding ticket that way. Real sex means that sometimes, the worship isn't over how wonderfully hypertrophied one's pectoralis majors are, but over something simpler—the crinkle at the corner of a guy's eyes, or the way the line of the rim of the glans has a gentle sway just there, or the way a treasure trail draws you down to glorious abandonment. To each their own, of course, but the porn industry hasn't been about to each their own for ages and has contented itself with a boot stepping on balls forever.
I redeemed porn for myself by rejecting cinema.
Still pictures, printed in black and white on stiff paper worked throughout my youth, and though I'm storing them on a tablet instead of in a shoebox hidden on top of a furnace duct now, they still fire the engines. Look it over, as intently as a scientist, or someone in forensics. Trace the line of the physical form, the look in the eyes, the way the textures of a natural body work. Tell yourself a story about that dude, about where you'd meet, how things would go down, what he'd say, and what you'd say. You never hear, in your head, the same old clichés and boring mantras of control. Guys cough and stammer, you mumble, they chuckle. You tell yourself that story and it is your story, that fits your interests and fixations, and as such, it will work.
It's the death of imagination that makes porn dull, but it can be redeemed.
Stop the world, drop your drawers, and tell yourself a story.
posted by sonascope at 4:11 AM on April 19, 2013 [11 favorites]
Am I the only guy here who doesn't masturbate much because it doesn't usually cross my mind?
nope
posted by LogicalDash at 7:15 AM on April 19, 2013
nope
posted by LogicalDash at 7:15 AM on April 19, 2013
just realized that I would watch the shit out of a MST3K-esque show that riffed over terrible gay TV/movies.
SEE I KNEW I SHOULD'VE RECORDED ME WATCHING DANTE'S COVE WITH A BOTTLE OF GIN.
posted by The Whelk at 8:10 AM on April 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
SEE I KNEW I SHOULD'VE RECORDED ME WATCHING DANTE'S COVE WITH A BOTTLE OF GIN.
posted by The Whelk at 8:10 AM on April 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
asnider I was 23 years old before I had my own room. I cannot recall a single classmate at university who had their own room.
Good point. I wasn't thinking about dorm rooms, just shared apartments. In that case, um, you do it when your roommate is in class? (I really have no idea; I went to university in my hometown, so I didn't live on campus when I was in school.)
posted by asnider at 9:39 AM on April 19, 2013
Good point. I wasn't thinking about dorm rooms, just shared apartments. In that case, um, you do it when your roommate is in class? (I really have no idea; I went to university in my hometown, so I didn't live on campus when I was in school.)
posted by asnider at 9:39 AM on April 19, 2013
Everything you've read about internet porn is true. You can get the good stuff for free if you know where to look. Every variation and permutation of the human imagination is available. After MTO to escalating images of shocking or disturbing porn-- clicking from image to image just as fast as their internet speed-- the bro's can't get off otherwise. They can't get it up for real women.
No-fap is a worthwhile social response to the horror of monetized, mechanized sexuality on the internet.
posted by ohshenandoah at 9:52 AM on April 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
No-fap is a worthwhile social response to the horror of monetized, mechanized sexuality on the internet.
posted by ohshenandoah at 9:52 AM on April 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
mechanized sexuality on the internet.some of us read issues of Heavy Metal when we were growing up, okay
one's sexuality is not something for which one must apologise
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 10:11 AM on April 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
Everything you've read about internet porn is true. You can get the good stuff for free if you know where to look. [...]
No-fap is a worthwhile social response to the horror of monetized, mechanized sexuality on the internet.
?
posted by Sys Rq at 10:23 AM on April 19, 2013
No-fap is a worthwhile social response to the horror of monetized, mechanized sexuality on the internet.
?
posted by Sys Rq at 10:23 AM on April 19, 2013
Advertising, Sys Rq. Tube sites practically crawl with ugly ads.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 10:24 AM on April 19, 2013
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 10:24 AM on April 19, 2013
Who wants to start taking bets on how this ends? My vote is for a $185 Nike+ Fit-branded, Philippe Starck-designed ultramodern male chastity belt you can pair with your iPhone for complex involuntary arousal statistics.
You're crazy.
It's at least $300. And links to your twitter account.
posted by PMdixon at 10:43 AM on April 19, 2013
You're crazy.
It's at least $300. And links to your twitter account.
posted by PMdixon at 10:43 AM on April 19, 2013
Every variation and permutation of the human imagination is available.
You know, I would have thought so, too, but I'll be damned if I can find a single image or clip of gay bear porn with an all-dwarf cast.
And I've looked, brother, how I've looked.
posted by sonascope at 12:02 PM on April 19, 2013
You know, I would have thought so, too, but I'll be damned if I can find a single image or clip of gay bear porn with an all-dwarf cast.
And I've looked, brother, how I've looked.
posted by sonascope at 12:02 PM on April 19, 2013
the bro's can't get off otherwise. They can't get it up for real women
cite?
porn is fucking tired, tired, tired these days
I admit I'm not as well versed as I may have been a decade ago, but isn't the amount of pornography online far greater than any one person or even small group of people could audit in their lifetimes?
What I'm saying is you sound like one of those YouTube commenters who complains pop music is all the same shit now. I'm sure there's good porn out there - it's just hard to find it maybe?
posted by mrgrimm at 12:06 PM on April 19, 2013
cite?
porn is fucking tired, tired, tired these days
I admit I'm not as well versed as I may have been a decade ago, but isn't the amount of pornography online far greater than any one person or even small group of people could audit in their lifetimes?
What I'm saying is you sound like one of those YouTube commenters who complains pop music is all the same shit now. I'm sure there's good porn out there - it's just hard to find it maybe?
posted by mrgrimm at 12:06 PM on April 19, 2013
To be honest, it's a bit of a golden age, in some ways,but largely because the old stuff is all freely available and some of the amateur stuff is pretty sharp, but the barrage of it is just overwhelming. If, say, you're looking up Chad Douglas on xHamster, you get your Chad Douglas in all his gross sexiness, but the screen is rimmed with half a dozen unrelated videos running at high speed (and usually straight stuff of the fucked-up naked women in bright red high heels variety that kills the buzz), so it's really hard to enjoy what you came to see with all that Times Square Tokyo Blade Runner billboard shit buzzing around in the corners. Half the time, I feel like I'm going to have a Fruity Oaty Bar freakout and start kicking strangers.
So the good stuff is there, but it's the trickle lost in the Niagara of junk.
posted by sonascope at 12:37 PM on April 19, 2013 [3 favorites]
So the good stuff is there, but it's the trickle lost in the Niagara of junk.
posted by sonascope at 12:37 PM on April 19, 2013 [3 favorites]
Oh, totally agreed. It's a firehose of galactic proportions. I personally like old erotic art myself, and the Web is also bursting with that, as more and more sources get scanned ... Old Erotic Art tumblr. (NSFW). I'm finding it easier and easier to ignore stuff as I get older, so I can't get too concerned over gonzo/nutzoid porn.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:51 PM on April 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by mrgrimm at 12:51 PM on April 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
Metafilter: a firehose of galactic proportions.
posted by ShutterBun at 1:33 PM on April 19, 2013
posted by ShutterBun at 1:33 PM on April 19, 2013
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posted by blue t-shirt at 1:02 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]