Press Y To Eat Your Commander
June 13, 2013 11:39 PM Subscribe
Tower Of The Blood Lord is a hypertext Twine game based on the first twenty minutes of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.
Spiritual surrealist video game analysis seems to be a growing concern.
posted by solarion at 1:38 AM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by solarion at 1:38 AM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
Dammit, just got shot for hugging the general.
posted by brokkr at 1:40 AM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by brokkr at 1:40 AM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
You see a manila folder. It glows with a golden light that makes you really want to pick it up.
This is awesome!
posted by corb at 3:41 AM on June 14, 2013
This is awesome!
posted by corb at 3:41 AM on June 14, 2013
Also, the Seven Lady Batriarchs! (Keep playing, don't stop at one playthrough)
posted by corb at 3:46 AM on June 14, 2013
posted by corb at 3:46 AM on June 14, 2013
Intelligence artificial, and hamstrung here
by the fact that no great savior will ever come
upon them with the cutscene trigger that
would assure their purposes fulfilled:
posted by corb at 4:14 AM on June 14, 2013
by the fact that no great savior will ever come
upon them with the cutscene trigger that
would assure their purposes fulfilled:
posted by corb at 4:14 AM on June 14, 2013
This laptop has a plethora of information on the enemy.
A quick glance at the screen suggests that this laptop is cataloguing instances whenever you've felt insecure around another person, with detailed write-ups of every time you've been laughed at in public. Apparently the enemy is your own self-loathing and lingering existential dread! You chuckle. Good luck with that!
Headshot!
posted by Rock Steady at 5:36 AM on June 14, 2013 [5 favorites]
A quick glance at the screen suggests that this laptop is cataloguing instances whenever you've felt insecure around another person, with detailed write-ups of every time you've been laughed at in public. Apparently the enemy is your own self-loathing and lingering existential dread! You chuckle. Good luck with that!
Headshot!
posted by Rock Steady at 5:36 AM on June 14, 2013 [5 favorites]
This is amazing. Thank you.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 5:43 AM on June 14, 2013
posted by Elementary Penguin at 5:43 AM on June 14, 2013
Awesome. I miss my frog husband already.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:33 AM on June 14, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:33 AM on June 14, 2013 [2 favorites]
Does what it says on the tin:
Your jaw unhinges as you lean forward, your mouth widening to inhuman proportions.
"Private, we need to move out!" demands the General indignantly.
His shouts become both panicked and muffled as your maw envelops him, your cheeks ballooning outward over his shoulders. There is something — a crunch of bone — as your gradually constricting throat crushes his shoulders or snaps his neck, you cannot be quite sure.
You devour the General whole, swallowing his boots last, cocking your head up to the ceiling to make him go down more easily.
You are now alone in the partially destroyed assembly hall.
Hey, there's multiplayer!
You are part of an elite squad of soldiers, all trained to cook and serve hamburgers -- the classic American dish -- to the hungry masses of the world.
The few. The proud. The short order.
I don't know what's going on and I love it.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 6:39 AM on June 14, 2013 [2 favorites]
Your jaw unhinges as you lean forward, your mouth widening to inhuman proportions.
"Private, we need to move out!" demands the General indignantly.
His shouts become both panicked and muffled as your maw envelops him, your cheeks ballooning outward over his shoulders. There is something — a crunch of bone — as your gradually constricting throat crushes his shoulders or snaps his neck, you cannot be quite sure.
You devour the General whole, swallowing his boots last, cocking your head up to the ceiling to make him go down more easily.
You are now alone in the partially destroyed assembly hall.
Hey, there's multiplayer!
You are part of an elite squad of soldiers, all trained to cook and serve hamburgers -- the classic American dish -- to the hungry masses of the world.
The few. The proud. The short order.
I don't know what's going on and I love it.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 6:39 AM on June 14, 2013 [2 favorites]
robocop is bleeding: Awesome. I miss my frog husband already.
Wait, where's that?
posted by Rock Steady at 6:48 AM on June 14, 2013
Wait, where's that?
posted by Rock Steady at 6:48 AM on June 14, 2013
Oh man, you missed the best part!
posted by Elementary Penguin at 6:53 AM on June 14, 2013
posted by Elementary Penguin at 6:53 AM on June 14, 2013
I thought I exhausted all the options! What did I miss?
posted by Rock Steady at 6:53 AM on June 14, 2013
posted by Rock Steady at 6:53 AM on June 14, 2013
SPOILER: For me, anyway, after the explosion, I tried multiplayer, then restarted from a checkpoint, then went back to the shower.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 6:54 AM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Elementary Penguin at 6:54 AM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
Holy shit, I almost missed it.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:05 AM on June 14, 2013
posted by Rock Steady at 7:05 AM on June 14, 2013
If all shoot-'em-up-games (as my parents used to call them back when I wasn't allowed near a television screen for any reason, ESPECIALLY video games) were like this I would have been playing them for years! ...says the literature major
posted by Mooseli at 7:10 AM on June 14, 2013
posted by Mooseli at 7:10 AM on June 14, 2013
Also I finally played howling dogs, which was posted to the Blue in November, and I'm not exactly sure what to make of it, but I think I enjoyed it, if that makes sense. The source code is posted on the author's website, and I want to know how people make these really complicated Twine games.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 7:30 AM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Elementary Penguin at 7:30 AM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
Is there any way to get past the bit where you blow yourself up with a grenade?
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 9:22 AM on June 14, 2013
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 9:22 AM on June 14, 2013
Also the 'eat the general' bit is like Prototype in text form
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 9:23 AM on June 14, 2013
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 9:23 AM on June 14, 2013
This is a lot like the hallucinatory video game explorations in Austin Grossman's You.
posted by eyeballkid at 9:37 AM on June 14, 2013
posted by eyeballkid at 9:37 AM on June 14, 2013
Okay. That was really great.
posted by eyeballkid at 9:49 AM on June 14, 2013
posted by eyeballkid at 9:49 AM on June 14, 2013
That was really quite good! Also, I would play the hell out of a multiplayer 3D feed-em-up where the insurgents have set up their shawarma joint right across the street, for as long as I can play anything these days (so, 15 really fun minutes of patty-flinging and hummus-mixing).
posted by hackwolf at 10:25 AM on June 14, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by hackwolf at 10:25 AM on June 14, 2013 [2 favorites]
I haven't found a way to get past blowing myself up with a grenade. I feel like there might be a way to get training on it early on, but I'm not sure how. I tried just shooting, but after three reloads nothing much had changed.
posted by corb at 10:33 AM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by corb at 10:33 AM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
After you've played multiplayer, you may want to revisit some of your old haunts.
posted by Rock Steady at 11:05 AM on June 14, 2013
posted by Rock Steady at 11:05 AM on June 14, 2013
I also am not quite sure how the special ops advice ties into the sandwich.
posted by corb at 11:34 AM on June 14, 2013
posted by corb at 11:34 AM on June 14, 2013
There is no way past blowing yourself up with a grenade, I believe. Were it so then it wouldn't just be the first twenty minutes. Go play multiplayer and then look around again.
posted by solarion at 5:51 PM on June 14, 2013
posted by solarion at 5:51 PM on June 14, 2013
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posted by brokkr at 1:33 AM on June 14, 2013 [2 favorites]