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June 28, 2013 9:38 AM Subscribe
From SomethingAwful: Instruction for a Help. Starts off slow but ramps up quickly.
Instruction for a Fruit
Instruction for a Babie
Instruction for a Spring
Instruction for a The Bodie
Instruction for a Town
Instruction for a Peace
Instruction for a THing
Instruction for a Fruit
Instruction for a Babie
Instruction for a Spring
Instruction for a The Bodie
Instruction for a Town
Instruction for a Peace
Instruction for a THing
Instead you have THE MOUTHS.
posted by elizardbits at 9:42 AM on June 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 9:42 AM on June 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
And the followup: The View From Below
posted by Rory Marinich at 9:46 AM on June 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Rory Marinich at 9:46 AM on June 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
Double. I have been trying to re-find this for this for a month, though, so thanks for reminding me of the term "red worm"!
posted by bessel functions seem unnecessarily complicated at 9:47 AM on June 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by bessel functions seem unnecessarily complicated at 9:47 AM on June 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
Yes- Double. But also one of the best things on the internets of all time.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:59 AM on June 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:59 AM on June 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
Yeah, it does surprise me how similar it is to the idea of The Last of Us, looking back at it...
posted by sonic meat machine at 10:02 AM on June 28, 2013
posted by sonic meat machine at 10:02 AM on June 28, 2013
The beauty of weird twitter is all the benefits of the unsettling confusion, without the wasted 20 minutes.
posted by bonaldi at 10:05 AM on June 28, 2013
posted by bonaldi at 10:05 AM on June 28, 2013
Sleep now, until a frond touch a th
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:06 AM on June 28, 2013
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:06 AM on June 28, 2013
WWS: World War Spore
posted by Apocryphon at 10:06 AM on June 28, 2013
posted by Apocryphon at 10:06 AM on June 28, 2013
On one hand, double, on the other hand it's amazing and everyone should read it.
posted by The Whelk at 10:07 AM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 10:07 AM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
P.S Zach Pearson wrote an episode of Welcome To Night Vale, are you at all surprised?
posted by The Whelk at 10:07 AM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 10:07 AM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
I have never read it before. God its so big/good. I am going hop wild.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:07 AM on June 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:07 AM on June 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
This is a excellent THing
posted by jquinby at 10:14 AM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by jquinby at 10:14 AM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
I guess I'm officially old because I have no idea what's going on here.
posted by xbonesgt at 10:14 AM on June 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by xbonesgt at 10:14 AM on June 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
Oh, what the hell. Official double clemency. Happy Friday.
posted by cortex at 10:18 AM on June 28, 2013 [30 favorites]
posted by cortex at 10:18 AM on June 28, 2013 [30 favorites]
This is like one of those science-fiction movies where everyone is speaking a mutated hyperslang version of american english and it's only 2017, right?
posted by JoeZydeco at 10:22 AM on June 28, 2013
posted by JoeZydeco at 10:22 AM on June 28, 2013
Sigh. Okay guys - what you are reading are the thoughts and commands given to a human being who is living in a world where a mind control fungus has linked all living things telepathically into a single hive mind- which is actually working out great for them until the last remaining uninflected humans rise from the the vaults under the Earth and basically sterilize the planet, stongly suggesting that the fungus' shared mind collective was a type of utopia.
posted by The Whelk at 10:25 AM on June 28, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 10:25 AM on June 28, 2013 [6 favorites]
Finishes article.
Crosses hands over chest.
Exhales deeply.
Huh.
Goes to get more coffee.
posted by Tevin at 10:27 AM on June 28, 2013
Crosses hands over chest.
Exhales deeply.
Huh.
Goes to get more coffee.
posted by Tevin at 10:27 AM on June 28, 2013
LONDON ACTUAL
............You should probably be aware that-
...............................................SATELLITE OCCLUDED-TRANSCRIPT ENDS
posted by anotherpanacea at 10:30 AM on June 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
............You should probably be aware that-
...............................................SATELLITE OCCLUDED-TRANSCRIPT ENDS
posted by anotherpanacea at 10:30 AM on June 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
Anyone confused should read the follow up as it it's written as a personal account of the infection and not from the POV of someone with fungus branches in thier brain telling them what to do.
posted by The Whelk at 10:33 AM on June 28, 2013
posted by The Whelk at 10:33 AM on June 28, 2013
Clemency for a double? What is the world coming to? Cortex has obviously had his mind infected by some Cordyceps variant.
posted by Justinian at 10:36 AM on June 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by Justinian at 10:36 AM on June 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
Here, Justintian, have a fruit.
A fruit is your friend.
posted by The Whelk at 10:37 AM on June 28, 2013 [5 favorites]
A fruit is your friend.
posted by The Whelk at 10:37 AM on June 28, 2013 [5 favorites]
cortex: " double clemency."
oh, neat! Well, then, ummm... I don't know... maybe the murder and the arson?
posted by boo_radley at 10:40 AM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
oh, neat! Well, then, ummm... I don't know... maybe the murder and the arson?
posted by boo_radley at 10:40 AM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
Funny timing! I just re-read this last night after playing The Last of Us a little (I'm not terribly far but it's pretty great, and so is this).
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 12:09 PM on June 28, 2013
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 12:09 PM on June 28, 2013
So... Upstream Color is the prequel to this?
posted by Monkey0nCrack at 12:36 PM on June 28, 2013
posted by Monkey0nCrack at 12:36 PM on June 28, 2013
How weird, I looked up, and read, the old post at roughly the same time this was posted. IT'S THE CORDYCEPS!!
posted by polywomp at 12:37 PM on June 28, 2013
posted by polywomp at 12:37 PM on June 28, 2013
Zack Parsons really is terrific.
posted by Sticherbeast at 12:56 PM on June 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by Sticherbeast at 12:56 PM on June 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
Liminal States is an excellent read.
posted by The Whelk at 12:57 PM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 12:57 PM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
WHAT
WHAT IS IT I SHOULD BE AWARE OF
aaaaaaarg
*
I prefer Instructions to The View from Below, though the latter nicely ties some of the former's loose ends. The View from Below gives me too much; Instructions makes me take what I can figure out.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 1:03 PM on June 28, 2013
WHAT IS IT I SHOULD BE AWARE OF
aaaaaaarg
*
I prefer Instructions to The View from Below, though the latter nicely ties some of the former's loose ends. The View from Below gives me too much; Instructions makes me take what I can figure out.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 1:03 PM on June 28, 2013
Liminal States was one of those books where at first I was bemused at how grim, gruesome, and not-funny it was, but then I realized that it was a gift of Burroughsian proportions.
posted by Sticherbeast at 1:04 PM on June 28, 2013
posted by Sticherbeast at 1:04 PM on June 28, 2013
For me, the View from Below was nearly perfect but I'm one of those weirdos who preferred the appendixes to LOTR to the actual novel and wish fake histories were a more prominent sub-genre in fantasy.
One thing I really liked about it was there was still some ambiguity and not just in the ending. The fungi-topia was certainly better than the world the Generals envisioned, and probably better than the current world we live in, but still had some disturbing aspects on its own, and the reader was generally left to decide if the infections were ultimately a good thing in and of themselves. My personal view is that they weren't, even if they were an improvement.
Would love to see this expanded to book form with the instructions from the center given as pamphlets placed between the journalistic chapters. And then I'd love a sequel which could explore what the world could become under the benevolent (?) reign of the fungus-borg.
posted by honestcoyote at 1:57 PM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
One thing I really liked about it was there was still some ambiguity and not just in the ending. The fungi-topia was certainly better than the world the Generals envisioned, and probably better than the current world we live in, but still had some disturbing aspects on its own, and the reader was generally left to decide if the infections were ultimately a good thing in and of themselves. My personal view is that they weren't, even if they were an improvement.
Would love to see this expanded to book form with the instructions from the center given as pamphlets placed between the journalistic chapters. And then I'd love a sequel which could explore what the world could become under the benevolent (?) reign of the fungus-borg.
posted by honestcoyote at 1:57 PM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
"View from Below" kinda reminds me of David Gerrold's "Chtorr" books. Weird hybrids, giant red worms that eat people... I wonder if book 5 ever came out?
*google*
His site says its coming in 2011, and there's a piece on IO9 saying that if Obama got reflected Gerrold would aim for finishing it before the end of the second term. Ain't gonna hold my breath.
posted by egypturnash at 3:02 PM on June 28, 2013
*google*
His site says its coming in 2011, and there's a piece on IO9 saying that if Obama got reflected Gerrold would aim for finishing it before the end of the second term. Ain't gonna hold my breath.
posted by egypturnash at 3:02 PM on June 28, 2013
A fruit at green carries a vengeful riposte.
...
"Do not cry, fruit."
All things in this world feel pain. A lobster, a fruit, a man, a cat, a pearl, a window, a kite. They suffer.
One of my favorite pieces of writing of all time. I'm completely in love with the surreal way he plays around with language. (For another example of awesome literary pidgin, see also: Raymondo's Beautiful Special Pets 4 U)
posted by overeducated_alligator at 7:16 PM on June 28, 2013 [6 favorites]
...
"Do not cry, fruit."
All things in this world feel pain. A lobster, a fruit, a man, a cat, a pearl, a window, a kite. They suffer.
One of my favorite pieces of writing of all time. I'm completely in love with the surreal way he plays around with language. (For another example of awesome literary pidgin, see also: Raymondo's Beautiful Special Pets 4 U)
posted by overeducated_alligator at 7:16 PM on June 28, 2013 [6 favorites]
Yeah, it does surprise me how similar it is to the idea of The Last of Us, looking back at it...
I remember reading this when it came out and it terrified me, and I suspect that parasites are going to become the next thing in pop culture horror (see also: Upstream Color).
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 4:39 PM on June 30, 2013
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posted by trunk muffins at 9:41 AM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]