Look out, there are llamas!

July 3, 2013 5:25 PM

People who keep llamas as pets will readily offer you any number of reasons: llamas are quiet, they’re gentle and affectionate, they don’t take a lot of work to maintain and, for outdoor animals, they don’t smell bad. Most people start with two or three, since llamas are sociable and don’t like to live alone. But as Katrina Capasso, a llama owner in Ballston Spa, N.Y., discovered, “They’re like potato chips.” It’s hard to stop at just a few.

Bonus slide show!

posted by Horace Rumpole (46 comments total)

Reference for people who don't get the subject line.
posted by Joey Michaels at 5:31 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Truly mysterious creatures.
posted by 23 at 5:32 PM on July 3, 2013 [3 favorites]

Grew up across the street from a llama farm. Every Halloween Mr Riley took them door to door through our neighborhood for trick or treating.
posted by leotrotsky at 5:36 PM on July 3, 2013 [5 favorites]

They're also fabulous, and they know it.
posted by Kandarp Von Bontee at 5:45 PM on July 3, 2013 [9 favorites]

"...But it’s more than that. Look at a llama and it’ll gaze back sympathetically with those huge, beguiling eyes, ears perked up, looking for all the world like it understands you and really cares about your problems."
posted by Auden at 5:46 PM on July 3, 2013 [5 favorites]

I was really enjoying this article until they started talking about breeding miniatures. But I'm not going to open that can of worms.
posted by George_Spiggott at 5:47 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Llama llama duck
posted by briank at 5:47 PM on July 3, 2013 [3 favorites]

Guess I should have saved this comment for this thread.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:47 PM on July 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

Yeah, but once you get that many in one place, they can spontaneously combust, giving you a three-L lllama.....
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:48 PM on July 3, 2013 [4 favorites]

miniature? llama?
posted by not_on_display at 5:50 PM on July 3, 2013

“They’re like potato chips.” It’s hard to stop at just a few.

miniature? llama?

So they can get them in the Pringles cans.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:51 PM on July 3, 2013 [6 favorites]

oh fuck i would pay cold hard cash money for a chihuahua-sized llama
posted by elizardbits at 5:53 PM on July 3, 2013 [17 favorites]

I had to send this to my llama-lloving friend. I am mildly afraid that now that she got her husband to agree to a cat, she'll ask for a herd of miniature llamas next.
posted by immlass at 5:53 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

When I was a kid, I lived within a few blocks of people that had probably 8-10 llamas. We would ride our bikes over to the pen to visit them at least once a week during the warmer months--the llamas would always walk right up to the fence to say hello. Really cool animals.
posted by TrialByMedia at 5:56 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

I prefer capybaras
posted by ishrinkmajeans at 5:59 PM on July 3, 2013

Eat your food Tina
posted by en forme de poire at 6:01 PM on July 3, 2013 [11 favorites]

Llamas demand to be named quixotic, overly grandiose names like Lord Greystone or Aristophanes. The wife grew up with llamas, which make great companions for horses because they just pal around in the pasture together. And she shamed her mother into getting her horse-riding lessons by teaching her llama to let her ride it like a pony. Friends for life.
posted by Existential Dread at 6:05 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

But how do they taste?
posted by blue_beetle at 6:07 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

My wife and I share a silly llama fixation based. At our wedding, she surprised me with a bouquet of llama shaped cookies. Basically, this article appeals to my interest.
posted by Joey Michaels at 6:08 PM on July 3, 2013 [3 favorites]

I think apalcas are where it's at it. I mean, those adorable faces I can't even...
posted by orange swan at 6:09 PM on July 3, 2013 [10 favorites]

Llama humming
posted by en forme de poire at 6:10 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

The wife grew up with llamas

I am now imagining a child, lost in the mountains, adopted by a herd of kindly llamas who taught her their secrets. Later, she would return to civilization and wreck havoc on the criminal element using her amazing llama skills....
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:19 PM on July 3, 2013 [12 favorites]

Llama eyes, however, are something to be feared. (previously)
posted by autopilot at 6:24 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Oh boy. Llamas are kind of A Thing between my mister and me, and you can not begin to imagine how much I squee-ed (not quite Kristen-Bell-and-a-sloth-levels, but pretty close) when he surprised me with the discovery of a farm with some resident llamas within walking distance of his former apartment.

And llamas as wedding presents?! He's in so much trouble now. Maybe I'll just save him the time and put them on our registry.
posted by alynnk at 6:29 PM on July 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

Auden: "...But it’s more than that. Look at a llama and it’ll gaze back sympathetically with those huge, beguiling eyes, ears perked up, looking for all the world like it understands you and really cares about your problems."

I MeLove you. I will be your MeLoveSlave for that picture.
posted by IAmBroom at 6:34 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

You can just imagine what the yelling goats would say about this llama love
posted by angrycat at 6:35 PM on July 3, 2013 [3 favorites]

You take Los Palmas,
Take Los Palmas to Colorado,
Take Colorado down to Pico,
And that's how you
Get to Llama School!
posted by not_on_display at 6:53 PM on July 3, 2013

I'd love to be in a field of llama's and fainting goats, I'm sure the expression on the llamas faces would be priceless.
posted by sammyo at 6:53 PM on July 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

A friend of mine had one llama, a male. She bought another llama and was told it was a male. Some months later when she checked on the llamas, there were three. Someone seriously messed up the gender.
posted by plinth at 7:01 PM on July 3, 2013 [3 favorites]

Existential Dread: "Llamas demand to be named quixotic, overly grandiose names like Lord Greystone or Aristophanes."

My two llamas were named Sven and Ollie. Sven was sweet, Ollie not so much.

Also, don't stand in front of them when you try to load them into a trailer. Really messy.
posted by jgaiser at 7:09 PM on July 3, 2013

In the mid to late nineties, Big Llama spent a lot of time and energy to increase llama demand, and it worked; there was a corresponding spike in llama prices and ownership. Shortly thereafter, everyone who fell for the marketing realized how miserable and pointless llama ownership is, and the market tanked.

This article reminds me of what was happening to llamas in the mid to late nineties. The claim that they don't stink may not be the biggest lie of the article, but it is the one that bothers me the most...an un-shampooed/ un-shaved llama smells like musky cheetohs o_O.

That said, llamas are an easy animal to love from the comfort of the internet.

Note: I did not fall for the marketing scam 15 years ago, but my father did start keeping a couple llamas around when people were giving them away for free.
posted by GrumpyDan at 8:09 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Forgive me, GrumpyDan, but all I can take away from your comment is how adorable Big Llama would be.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:23 PM on July 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

Llamas are the little cousins of camels. I did talk to a guy who bough a couple llamas to eat. He said they taste like venison.

Personally, I like camels better, when they start giving camels away free, I will be the crazy camel lady.

Llamas are O.K. Camels are just way more useful.
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 8:45 PM on July 3, 2013

Here's a llama there's a llama and another little llama fuzzy llama funny llama llama llama duck.

Curse you, briank! I haven't thought about that song in months!
posted by Night_owl at 11:42 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

elizardbits - how much would you pay for a llama-sized chihuahua?
posted by davidmsc at 12:03 AM on July 4, 2013

Professional Calming Llamas!
posted by lollusc at 1:29 AM on July 4, 2013

all I can take away from your comment is how adorable Big Llama would be

Adorable? Hardly. If you can imagine a 100 foot tall llama, wreathed in acrid smoke and burning haze firing yellowish laser beams from it's hellish eyes, then you have some small idea of how not-adorable Big Llama is.

Unless you are, like 200 feet tall and fireproof. In that case, heeee!
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:24 AM on July 4, 2013 [2 favorites]

Llamas and alpacas have always looked like Dr. Seuss animals to me...which makes them highly appealing and prone to make me squeal.

(Many years ago I had a fantasy of moving to the desert and building a straw-bale house and raising llamas and alpacas. I now live in Brooklyn, but life is long, my friends! Life is long!)
posted by whimsicalnymph at 7:10 AM on July 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

"Adorable? Hardly. If you can imagine a 100 foot tall llama, wreathed in acrid smoke and burning haze firing yellowish laser beams from it's hellish eyes, then you have some small idea of how not-adorable Big Llama is."

Actually, I find that pretty adorable. And I'm definitely not 200 feet tall or fireproof.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 8:17 AM on July 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

I wanted to start a business on the Appalachian Trail called Felicity's Rent A Llama but somehow - go figure - I never actually got anywhere beyond the imagination stage. I think it's a great idea, though: pack llamas for the trail with various return sites all along from Georgia to Maine. It could still happen! You can use my name if you start it.
posted by mygothlaundry at 10:07 AM on July 4, 2013

A friend of mine had one llama, a male. She bought another llama and was told it was a male. Some months later when she checked on the llamas, there were three. Someone seriously messed up the gender.

Are you sure they didn't adopt a llama from an agency when you weren't looking?
posted by en forme de poire at 12:09 PM on July 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

Llamambo!

Also courtesy of Shirokuma Cafe: that llama rental service, kinda.
posted by emmtee at 12:42 PM on July 4, 2013

Llamas kind of look like ghosts from certain angles.
posted by limeonaire at 4:52 PM on July 4, 2013

I love my llamas, but two are enough.
posted by terrapin at 6:19 AM on July 5, 2013

44 comments and no link to this? Step up your llama game, Metafilter.
posted by mhum at 7:47 AM on July 5, 2013

Until they come up with the abovementioned chihuahua-sized llamas, this is apparently the closest I'm going to get to having a llama. ("Yes," says the husband, reading over my shoulder. "Yes, it is.")
posted by Lexica at 10:42 PM on July 8, 2013 [1 favorite]