Cookie Game
August 16, 2013 10:21 AM Subscribe
This post was deleted for the following reason: Poster's Request -- Brandon Blatcher
The page, it does nothing. Is this a mobile-only thing?
posted by Old'n'Busted at 10:30 AM on August 16, 2013
posted by Old'n'Busted at 10:30 AM on August 16, 2013
...brought to you by mouse manufacturers you mean.
posted by RolandOfEld at 10:30 AM on August 16, 2013
posted by RolandOfEld at 10:30 AM on August 16, 2013
Who needs grandmas when we have cookie factories! Capitalism works!
posted by antonymous at 10:33 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by antonymous at 10:33 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
And the window has to have focus or no cookies are produced... Evil!
posted by RolandOfEld at 10:35 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by RolandOfEld at 10:35 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
antonymous: "Who needs grandmas when we have cookie factories! Capitalism works!"
See here's the problem.
You are apparently a shill for Big Cookie, while neglecting the need for elder employment.
posted by Samizdata at 10:35 AM on August 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
See here's the problem.
You are apparently a shill for Big Cookie, while neglecting the need for elder employment.
posted by Samizdata at 10:35 AM on August 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
I bought a shitton of those auto-clicking cursors when went out to pick up a cup of coffee from downstairs and long story short I have a lot of cookies.
I also kinda want to eat some cookies now.
posted by The Whelk at 10:38 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
I also kinda want to eat some cookies now.
posted by The Whelk at 10:38 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
Should I get the sword of life or the sword of summoning?
posted by oceanjesse at 10:39 AM on August 16, 2013 [7 favorites]
posted by oceanjesse at 10:39 AM on August 16, 2013 [7 favorites]
oceanjesse: "Should I get the sword of life or the sword of summoning?"
First you need the robe and wizard hat.
posted by Samizdata at 10:41 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
First you need the robe and wizard hat.
posted by Samizdata at 10:41 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
I think the fact that I'm sitting here at work playing this sort of thing is going to be one of the citations in my writeup on my impending, but still hypothetical, midlife crisis.
posted by RolandOfEld at 10:42 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by RolandOfEld at 10:42 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
Alright, I hired some more grandmas to appease the labor union. Enjoy your time in the depths of the cookie mines, ladies!
posted by antonymous at 10:42 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by antonymous at 10:42 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
javascript:setInterval(ClickCookie,1);
Way to ruin the fun (my mouse is grateful, however).
posted by lbebber at 10:42 AM on August 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
Way to ruin the fun (my mouse is grateful, however).
posted by lbebber at 10:42 AM on August 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
Oh, and I noticed, getting up to around 10 grannies seems to boost their productivity per granny.
For dorkily sentimental reasons, I kept my grannies and factories even.
posted by Samizdata at 10:42 AM on August 16, 2013
For dorkily sentimental reasons, I kept my grannies and factories even.
posted by Samizdata at 10:42 AM on August 16, 2013
What happens if you click on the lollipop farm's sign?
posted by oceanjesse at 10:49 AM on August 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by oceanjesse at 10:49 AM on August 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
...brought to you by mouse manufacturers you mean.
If you give the mouse a clickie....
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:53 AM on August 16, 2013 [4 favorites]
If you give the mouse a clickie....
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:53 AM on August 16, 2013 [4 favorites]
The fire is dead, the room is cold.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:53 AM on August 16, 2013 [9 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 10:53 AM on August 16, 2013 [9 favorites]
Cursor: 36
Grandma: 20
Factory: 6
Mine: 1
Factory: 4
Shipment: 2
I'm getting 151.2 cookies/second. Does this mean I'll go to heaven?
posted by oceanjesse at 10:56 AM on August 16, 2013
Grandma: 20
Factory: 6
Mine: 1
Factory: 4
Shipment: 2
I'm getting 151.2 cookies/second. Does this mean I'll go to heaven?
posted by oceanjesse at 10:56 AM on August 16, 2013
I must say, for thematic reasons, I was using 13 as my cut off point to the next production jump. (Except for the cursors - I did them at 26.)
Oh, and SUCK IT SPUNKMEYER!
posted by Samizdata at 10:56 AM on August 16, 2013
Oh, and SUCK IT SPUNKMEYER!
posted by Samizdata at 10:56 AM on August 16, 2013
This game is stupid. I'm going to play it all day.
posted by Mister_A at 10:57 AM on August 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by Mister_A at 10:57 AM on August 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
I'm up to 486 cookies per second...and yet still I click, because I think it's important to remember your roots.
posted by mittens at 11:00 AM on August 16, 2013 [11 favorites]
posted by mittens at 11:00 AM on August 16, 2013 [11 favorites]
At 305 cookies per second, it starts to feel like the universe is going to unravel.
At 400...
Is this what it feels like to die?
posted by The Whelk at 11:01 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
At 400...
Is this what it feels like to die?
posted by The Whelk at 11:01 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
...I didn't realize those things on the side were buy-able, and not just abstract benchmarks of my progress until I came back here for the comments. *facepalm*
posted by nile_red at 11:03 AM on August 16, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by nile_red at 11:03 AM on August 16, 2013 [6 favorites]
Amateurs. I'm at 802 per second.
posted by ocherdraco at 11:04 AM on August 16, 2013
posted by ocherdraco at 11:04 AM on August 16, 2013
The fact that the higher-up rewards make the grandmas more productive says something about capital and labor, but I'm not sure what.
posted by madcaptenor at 11:04 AM on August 16, 2013
posted by madcaptenor at 11:04 AM on August 16, 2013
Great. Real life intrudes on gaming.
Your cookies have been placed
under government surveillance.
posted by Samizdata at 11:05 AM on August 16, 2013
Your cookies have been placed
under government surveillance.
posted by Samizdata at 11:05 AM on August 16, 2013
803.6...surely this curve of improvement is infinitely sustainable!
posted by mittens at 11:06 AM on August 16, 2013
posted by mittens at 11:06 AM on August 16, 2013
How do you convert bitcoins to cookies?
posted by oceanjesse at 11:07 AM on August 16, 2013
posted by oceanjesse at 11:07 AM on August 16, 2013
The page, it does nothing. Is this a mobile-only thing?
Do you have cookies disabled in your browser?
posted by RobotHero at 11:07 AM on August 16, 2013 [46 favorites]
Do you have cookies disabled in your browser?
posted by RobotHero at 11:07 AM on August 16, 2013 [46 favorites]
Just broke 1K cookies/sec.!
posted by ogooglebar at 11:07 AM on August 16, 2013
posted by ogooglebar at 11:07 AM on August 16, 2013
My gift to you (import it): 0.125|3043619266|87|77831|20|707|10|1302|6|3545|58|1762987|118|3831402222|113|47574625104|94|960345259314
posted by Foci for Analysis at 11:08 AM on August 16, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by Foci for Analysis at 11:08 AM on August 16, 2013 [4 favorites]
I've been saying for minutes that the cookie bubble is imminent guys
posted by DynamiteToast at 11:08 AM on August 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by DynamiteToast at 11:08 AM on August 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
Well I think it's worth exploring some parallel dimension for cookie tech, because what could go wrong?
posted by Mister_A at 11:10 AM on August 16, 2013
posted by Mister_A at 11:10 AM on August 16, 2013
Mister_A: "Need more favorites for RobotHero..."
I gave him one. All I can do.
posted by Samizdata at 11:15 AM on August 16, 2013
I gave him one. All I can do.
posted by Samizdata at 11:15 AM on August 16, 2013
Now. If someone had a trick to help with it needing to keep focus...
posted by Samizdata at 11:18 AM on August 16, 2013
posted by Samizdata at 11:18 AM on August 16, 2013
Opening a new window seems to do the trick for me. It's only tabbing that stops it.
posted by Conspire at 11:20 AM on August 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Conspire at 11:20 AM on August 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
This is what Duke Nukem Forever should have been like.
posted by Sticherbeast at 11:22 AM on August 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Sticherbeast at 11:22 AM on August 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
Well, that was deliciously weird. Closed the tab after exporting, then opened the new window and there were my stats.
posted by Samizdata at 11:22 AM on August 16, 2013
posted by Samizdata at 11:22 AM on August 16, 2013
Uh, oh. "Your cookies have achieved sentience."
posted by ogooglebar at 11:23 AM on August 16, 2013
posted by ogooglebar at 11:23 AM on August 16, 2013
Sticherbeast: "This is what Duke Nukem Forever should have been like."
Although I am going to have to vote for the addition of stripper...erm...exotic cookie dancers.
posted by Samizdata at 11:23 AM on August 16, 2013
Although I am going to have to vote for the addition of stripper...erm...exotic cookie dancers.
posted by Samizdata at 11:23 AM on August 16, 2013
Aaaaaaah, geez. Now I am feeling bad, by not only exploiting cookie workers, but also adding to the global obesity crisis.
posted by Samizdata at 11:24 AM on August 16, 2013
posted by Samizdata at 11:24 AM on August 16, 2013
Your cookies are hungry.
posted by oceanjesse at 11:35 AM on August 16, 2013
posted by oceanjesse at 11:35 AM on August 16, 2013
It's almost time for my lunch break; we're going to a fancy thai place as a coworker outing. Is it weird that I am more excited about coming back to a billion virtual cookies than I actually am about yummy thai food and socializing with my coworkers?
posted by Conspire at 11:39 AM on August 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by Conspire at 11:39 AM on August 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
It's like a slightly more active version of Progress Quest.
posted by Mister_A at 11:39 AM on August 16, 2013
posted by Mister_A at 11:39 AM on August 16, 2013
This makes wonder how many cookies/second someone like Nabisco produces (and they do it without alchemy or space travel).
posted by lucasks at 11:40 AM on August 16, 2013
posted by lucasks at 11:40 AM on August 16, 2013
"The universe has now turned into cookie dough, to the molecular level."
posted by madcaptenor at 11:41 AM on August 16, 2013
posted by madcaptenor at 11:41 AM on August 16, 2013
and they do it without alchemy or space travel
Keebler uses elves, so there's that. Boy this game should have elves in it. Elves are delicious.
posted by Mister_A at 11:41 AM on August 16, 2013
Keebler uses elves, so there's that. Boy this game should have elves in it. Elves are delicious.
posted by Mister_A at 11:41 AM on August 16, 2013
Something weird is happening to my Grandmas after reaching 1,000,000 and building the portal...
posted by yellowbinder at 11:42 AM on August 16, 2013
posted by yellowbinder at 11:42 AM on August 16, 2013
I just got 69 grandmas
posted by oceanjesse at 11:50 AM on August 16, 2013
posted by oceanjesse at 11:50 AM on August 16, 2013
The metaphysics of this game don't make any sense. What good are multiple portals to the cookieverse?
posted by madcaptenor at 11:52 AM on August 16, 2013
posted by madcaptenor at 11:52 AM on August 16, 2013
(should that be "metaphysics... doesn't"? Is metaphysics plural? Or is it singular, like mathematics, even if the Brits call it maths?)
posted by madcaptenor at 11:53 AM on August 16, 2013
posted by madcaptenor at 11:53 AM on August 16, 2013
For all the min/maxers, someone on twitter pointed out that once you get over 76 of something you don't get a benefit from buying more.
posted by DynamiteToast at 11:55 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by DynamiteToast at 11:55 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
A cool cookie game!
Your use of the word "cool" is not one I am familiar with.
Nor "game" for that matter.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:02 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
Your use of the word "cool" is not one I am familiar with.
Nor "game" for that matter.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:02 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
I sent it to a friend and he's working up an excel spreadsheet to chart upgrade efficiencies before he invests too heavily.
posted by nile_red at 12:02 PM on August 16, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by nile_red at 12:02 PM on August 16, 2013 [6 favorites]
I can't believe I numbed my fingers for the sake of running my total to 190 . . . this is an evil site.
posted by bearwife at 12:05 PM on August 16, 2013
posted by bearwife at 12:05 PM on August 16, 2013
This makes wonder how many cookies/second someone like Nabisco produces (and they do it without alchemy or space travel).
Oreos alone amount to 12 billion per year, or a "mere" 380 cookies/second. As a guess I'd say Nabisco makes somewhere between 500-1000 cookies/second across all of its product lines.
posted by jedicus at 12:05 PM on August 16, 2013
Oreos alone amount to 12 billion per year, or a "mere" 380 cookies/second. As a guess I'd say Nabisco makes somewhere between 500-1000 cookies/second across all of its product lines.
posted by jedicus at 12:05 PM on August 16, 2013
This guy is really trailblazing the genre of competitive JavaScript counting games.
posted by oceanjesse at 12:05 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by oceanjesse at 12:05 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
Tell your Excel buddy to watch out for some weird stuff with grandmas - they seem to get a bonus for each type of other upgrade you have, but not affected by how many of each.
posted by echo target at 12:05 PM on August 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by echo target at 12:05 PM on August 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
(sigh) Is this my Candy Box killer?
posted by Shepherd at 12:06 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Shepherd at 12:06 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
What's the grandmapocalypse he references in the update notes?
posted by DynamiteToast at 12:08 PM on August 16, 2013
posted by DynamiteToast at 12:08 PM on August 16, 2013
Oh wait, I guess this isn't the same person behind candy box. They're both French people that are students though.
posted by oceanjesse at 12:09 PM on August 16, 2013
posted by oceanjesse at 12:09 PM on August 16, 2013
I ain't stopping until I get to the time machine... (3000 a second at the mo)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:09 PM on August 16, 2013
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:09 PM on August 16, 2013
What's the grandmapocalypse he references in the update notes?
If you let the "game" run idle long enough weird things start happening.
posted by jedicus at 12:09 PM on August 16, 2013
If you let the "game" run idle long enough weird things start happening.
posted by jedicus at 12:09 PM on August 16, 2013
If you let the "game" run idle long enough weird things start happening.
Oh my god, it's full of Grandmas!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:11 PM on August 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
Oh my god, it's full of Grandmas!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:11 PM on August 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
Yup, just happened for me. Excellent.
posted by DynamiteToast at 12:12 PM on August 16, 2013
posted by DynamiteToast at 12:12 PM on August 16, 2013
I don't know, right now I'm imagining the end game for this is that I crash my work computer and get fired from my job, but that doesn't seem that weird, seems pretty reasonable actually.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 12:13 PM on August 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 12:13 PM on August 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
Or maybe it doesn't have to be idle. Anyway, the there's a way to avert it, but I think maybe if you don't do so then bad things happen. I'm not about to risk it when I'm at 7852 cps. The thing you do that averts the grandmapocalypse temporarily buffs grandma and autoclick cookie production, so it gives you a reason to invest in autoclicks and grandmas late in the, uh, game.
posted by jedicus at 12:14 PM on August 16, 2013
posted by jedicus at 12:14 PM on August 16, 2013
At this rate I'm going to have to wait 806 seconds to get the time machine...this is worse than waiting for real cookies to finish!!!
posted by mittens at 12:26 PM on August 16, 2013
posted by mittens at 12:26 PM on August 16, 2013
I'm at around 8k/sec, and investing in autoclicks gets much better in the late game for some reason - my rate is skyrocketing on those lil fingers!
posted by antonymous at 12:27 PM on August 16, 2013
posted by antonymous at 12:27 PM on August 16, 2013
So, y'all have figured out that the most efficient way to increase is to figure out the increase in cookies per second, divided by the cost, and then purchase the cheapest option until it's no longer the cheapest, right?
Why, yes, this is a skill I've developed over hundreds of F2P games, what made you ask?
posted by klangklangston at 12:30 PM on August 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
Why, yes, this is a skill I've developed over hundreds of F2P games, what made you ask?
posted by klangklangston at 12:30 PM on August 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
I actually edited the import string to eliminate my lower level items (clicks, factories etc.) because it seemed to be slowing things down (rate of increase didn't keep up with my nominal cps.)
posted by lucasks at 12:31 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by lucasks at 12:31 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
I had wondered what the "Flashing On/Off" toggle was for, then I covered up the windows for a while to do some work.
I found out when I got back.
posted by sparklemotion at 12:32 PM on August 16, 2013
I found out when I got back.
posted by sparklemotion at 12:32 PM on August 16, 2013
klangklangston: are you factoring in the missed cookie production opportunities while you wait to acquire enough cookies to make the more expensive purchase?
posted by lucasks at 12:32 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by lucasks at 12:32 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
Cookietunity cost.
posted by 256 at 12:34 PM on August 16, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by 256 at 12:34 PM on August 16, 2013 [4 favorites]
So earlier I was talking about the crack like addiction of some games.. but this one I could give anytime. Any time.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:38 PM on August 16, 2013
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:38 PM on August 16, 2013
Is there ever any actual game to this game? The previous idle games like Candy Box or A Dark Room both eventually turned into actual games, this is all just MOAR COOKIES.
posted by cirrostratus at 12:42 PM on August 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by cirrostratus at 12:42 PM on August 16, 2013 [2 favorites]
"klangklangston: are you factoring in the missed cookie production opportunities while you wait to acquire enough cookies to make the more expensive purchase?"
Ooh, good catch. However, since I let this run overnight while I slept, I'm in no risk of undercapitalization — I got down to zero last night, and now have a couple billion to play with.
posted by klangklangston at 12:44 PM on August 16, 2013
Ooh, good catch. However, since I let this run overnight while I slept, I'm in no risk of undercapitalization — I got down to zero last night, and now have a couple billion to play with.
posted by klangklangston at 12:44 PM on August 16, 2013
So when you slept, the grandma apocalypse didn't wipe out all your cookies or something? Have I wasted cookie money on the Elder Pledge?!
posted by mittens at 12:47 PM on August 16, 2013
posted by mittens at 12:47 PM on August 16, 2013
grandmapocalypse
FTFY.
While the elder pledge is in effect, your clicks and grandmas give you extra cookies.
posted by sparklemotion at 12:49 PM on August 16, 2013
FTFY.
While the elder pledge is in effect, your clicks and grandmas give you extra cookies.
posted by sparklemotion at 12:49 PM on August 16, 2013
Oh my word this is addictive.
So where does the elder pledge come in to it? Do I just need to wait? I'm at 2500 c/s and just saving up for my first portal.
posted by mnfn at 1:19 PM on August 16, 2013
So where does the elder pledge come in to it? Do I just need to wait? I'm at 2500 c/s and just saving up for my first portal.
posted by mnfn at 1:19 PM on August 16, 2013
Cookie Clicker wiki (say that three times fast).
posted by aught at 1:24 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by aught at 1:24 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
my granny is flipping out. i'm at 33k cookies per second. i think i see smoke coming out of the top of my computer.
posted by oog at 1:28 PM on August 16, 2013
posted by oog at 1:28 PM on August 16, 2013
I left it on when I went to the gym.
All is chaos! Grandma faces! I have 9 million cookies and rising.
posted by The Whelk at 1:31 PM on August 16, 2013
All is chaos! Grandma faces! I have 9 million cookies and rising.
posted by The Whelk at 1:31 PM on August 16, 2013
Where are the machine elves?
posted by oceanjesse at 1:34 PM on August 16, 2013
posted by oceanjesse at 1:34 PM on August 16, 2013
Metafilter: Tell your Excel buddy to watch out for some weird stuff with grandmas
posted by oceanjesse at 1:34 PM on August 16, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by oceanjesse at 1:34 PM on August 16, 2013 [6 favorites]
It's pretty clear to me that the endgame is going to involve some horrible ethical dillema where the cookies are living aliens and therefore the human race are mass murderers for consuming them. Oh wait, that was Starflight, 25 years ago. Never mind.
posted by aught at 1:50 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by aught at 1:50 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
It's pretty clear to me that the endgame is going to involve some horrible ethical dillema where the cookies are living aliens and therefore the human race are mass murderers for consuming them. Oh wait, that was Starflight, 25 years ago. Never mind.
Awesome Starflight reference! Also that Futurama episode with Popplers.
posted by heathkit at 1:52 PM on August 16, 2013
Awesome Starflight reference! Also that Futurama episode with Popplers.
posted by heathkit at 1:52 PM on August 16, 2013
Awesome Starflight reference!
This being MeFi, I am anticipating the angry responses about spoilers now.
posted by aught at 1:54 PM on August 16, 2013
This being MeFi, I am anticipating the angry responses about spoilers now.
posted by aught at 1:54 PM on August 16, 2013
So at what point do you stop buying more stuff, to get to the time machine?
posted by roll truck roll at 2:04 PM on August 16, 2013
posted by roll truck roll at 2:04 PM on August 16, 2013
aught: "Awesome Starflight reference!
This being MeFi, I am anticipating the angry responses about spoilers now."
Damn it! Why you gotta go hinting there's something I DON'T know about playing that game?
Jerk.
posted by Samizdata at 2:05 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
This being MeFi, I am anticipating the angry responses about spoilers now."
Damn it! Why you gotta go hinting there's something I DON'T know about playing that game?
Jerk.
posted by Samizdata at 2:05 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
Oh my word, the author also made this exploration game, Nested.
universe>galactic supercluster>galaxy>galactic center>star system>telluric planet>continent>green land>plain>life>raptor>body>thoughts
I could click around on this for DAYS.
posted by whitecedar at 2:41 PM on August 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
universe>galactic supercluster>galaxy>galactic center>star system>telluric planet>continent>green land>plain>life>raptor>body>thoughts
I could click around on this for DAYS.
posted by whitecedar at 2:41 PM on August 16, 2013 [3 favorites]
What is this grandmapocalypse? And how do you access the "elderpledge"?
And WHY AM I DOING THIS?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:12 PM on August 16, 2013
And WHY AM I DOING THIS?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:12 PM on August 16, 2013
i am only seconds away from buying the time machine. i have been waiting so long!
posted by mittens at 3:47 PM on August 16, 2013
posted by mittens at 3:47 PM on August 16, 2013
well, that was anticlimactic.
posted by mittens at 3:48 PM on August 16, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by mittens at 3:48 PM on August 16, 2013 [6 favorites]
The metaphysics of this game don't make any sense. What good are multiple portals to the cookieverse?
Bandwidth.
posted by sexyrobot at 5:57 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
Bandwidth.
posted by sexyrobot at 5:57 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
There is no prize for greater production, only the tempation and drive to increase production even further. There is no point to accumulation except to buy the ability to produce more.
See, this is exactly why I refuse to be rich.
posted by mittens at 6:02 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
See, this is exactly why I refuse to be rich.
posted by mittens at 6:02 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
mittens: "See, this is exactly why I refuse to be rich."
Eponysterical?
posted by TheLittlePrince at 6:05 PM on August 16, 2013
Eponysterical?
posted by TheLittlePrince at 6:05 PM on August 16, 2013
So at what point do you stop buying more stuff, to get to the time machine?
When they won't pay for themselves before you'd otherwise have the time machine.
A portal now takes me 22 minutes to pay for itself. I'm still 172 minutes from being able to afford the time machine, so I should buy the portal.
posted by aubilenon at 7:13 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
When they won't pay for themselves before you'd otherwise have the time machine.
A portal now takes me 22 minutes to pay for itself. I'm still 172 minutes from being able to afford the time machine, so I should buy the portal.
posted by aubilenon at 7:13 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]
Mr. NoraReed wants to have a "talk" after I just exclaimed "Yay, I can buy a new grandma!"
posted by NoraReed at 10:28 PM on August 16, 2013
posted by NoraReed at 10:28 PM on August 16, 2013
Okay, so each Cursor adds .2 CPS, each Grandma adds 1 CPS and each Factory adds 4 CPS. What're the values for the other things?
posted by NoraReed at 10:30 PM on August 16, 2013
posted by NoraReed at 10:30 PM on August 16, 2013
aaaaa my grandma army is turning purple what kind of cookies am I making here
posted by NoraReed at 10:40 PM on August 16, 2013
posted by NoraReed at 10:40 PM on August 16, 2013
0.125|17803242|36|599|36|3266|27|6599|27|26265|27|91844|27|655571|27|13110049|2|149382715
89666.4 cps with over 19 mil in the cookie jar. Two time machines and no less than 27 of everything else. (Was trying to have fun with multiple of 13, as per baking and misclicked.) Have fun. I am DONE.
posted by Samizdata at 10:49 PM on August 16, 2013
89666.4 cps with over 19 mil in the cookie jar. Two time machines and no less than 27 of everything else. (Was trying to have fun with multiple of 13, as per baking and misclicked.) Have fun. I am DONE.
posted by Samizdata at 10:49 PM on August 16, 2013
I imagined this was installing a small tracking/session file in my browser every time I clicked. Genius!
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 2:59 AM on August 17, 2013
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 2:59 AM on August 17, 2013
WHAT TYPE OF EVIL IS THIS?
posted by NoRelation at 3:02 AM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by NoRelation at 3:02 AM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]
God, I'm blasting away on my trackpad like my fingers are operating the bass drums for Cannibal Corpse. Never thought I would feel so metal playing a game about cookies....
posted by NoRelation at 3:08 AM on August 17, 2013
posted by NoRelation at 3:08 AM on August 17, 2013
I maybe am just not cut out for this kind of game - I got to the point where I was making 26,000 cookies per second, and trying to save up for the time machine, and figured out that it would take about 7 minutes to generate enough cookies, but then I suddenly thought "wait, what am I doing, I'm sitting here watching some pixels" and shut it down.
Mind you, if it moved a bit faster or there were some more interim rewards along the way, I'd probably react differently. (I also do tend to get this same kind of "this is boring" phase towards the end of games of Civilization as well.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:18 AM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]
Mind you, if it moved a bit faster or there were some more interim rewards along the way, I'd probably react differently. (I also do tend to get this same kind of "this is boring" phase towards the end of games of Civilization as well.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:18 AM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]
Okay, so each Cursor adds .2 CPS, each Grandma adds 1 CPS and each Factory adds 4 CPS. What're the values for the other things?
Grandmas become more effective with each new upgrade you buy. Buying cookie mines lets grandmas become miners, e.g. Having bought the portal but not the time machine, each grandma gives me 3.8 cookies per second. This is a neat complication that makes it a little more difficult to tell where to spend resources.
posted by painquale at 10:45 AM on August 17, 2013
Grandmas become more effective with each new upgrade you buy. Buying cookie mines lets grandmas become miners, e.g. Having bought the portal but not the time machine, each grandma gives me 3.8 cookies per second. This is a neat complication that makes it a little more difficult to tell where to spend resources.
posted by painquale at 10:45 AM on August 17, 2013
But the clickers themselves pretty quickly outstrip grammas.
posted by klangklangston at 1:40 PM on August 17, 2013
posted by klangklangston at 1:40 PM on August 17, 2013
I'll just drop this here
0.125|645243250|136|8306604|132|30787722|116|31898293|97|20746799|91|40945758|62|18423292|60|304483003|16|567280624
posted by CitoyenK at 2:23 PM on August 17, 2013
0.125|645243250|136|8306604|132|30787722|116|31898293|97|20746799|91|40945758|62|18423292|60|304483003|16|567280624
posted by CitoyenK at 2:23 PM on August 17, 2013
nile_red: "I sent it to a friend and he's working up an excel spreadsheet to chart upgrade efficiencies before he invests too heavily."
I set up a spreadsheet to calculate the time needed to purchase a given list upgrades in a particular order. Then, I used the Solver add-in to choose the order of upgrades with a genetic algorithm in order to maximize cps at the 4-hour mark. So far, the best 4-hour plan I can come up with gets it to 62,500 cps.
After thinking about it some more, it'd probably be better to just minimize the time needed to get to 999,999,999 cookies (assuming that's where it maxes out). Also, I still haven't accounted for the various grandma bonuses and elder pledges but what am I even doing with my life
posted by whitecedar at 9:23 PM on August 17, 2013 [5 favorites]
I set up a spreadsheet to calculate the time needed to purchase a given list upgrades in a particular order. Then, I used the Solver add-in to choose the order of upgrades with a genetic algorithm in order to maximize cps at the 4-hour mark. So far, the best 4-hour plan I can come up with gets it to 62,500 cps.
After thinking about it some more, it'd probably be better to just minimize the time needed to get to 999,999,999 cookies (assuming that's where it maxes out). Also, I still haven't accounted for the various grandma bonuses and elder pledges but what am I even doing with my life
posted by whitecedar at 9:23 PM on August 17, 2013 [5 favorites]
Wow, that's an incredible cps rate. What order of upgrades did the algorithm recommend?
posted by painquale at 8:26 AM on August 18, 2013
posted by painquale at 8:26 AM on August 18, 2013
I don't want to overwhelm the thread so here are the ~200 decisions my spreadsheet came up with.
Column 1: cps at the beginning of the saving-up period, with a base rate of 1 cps
Column 2: item to save up for
Column 3: clock time at which item can be purchased
The evolutionary algorithm parameters were mostly the Solver defaults, though I upped population size and max time -- mutation rate=0.075, population=500, random seed=10, and max time=3000 sec.
posted by whitecedar at 1:29 PM on August 18, 2013
Column 1: cps at the beginning of the saving-up period, with a base rate of 1 cps
Column 2: item to save up for
Column 3: clock time at which item can be purchased
The evolutionary algorithm parameters were mostly the Solver defaults, though I upped population size and max time -- mutation rate=0.075, population=500, random seed=10, and max time=3000 sec.
posted by whitecedar at 1:29 PM on August 18, 2013
Also, here's the final item count:
cursor 7
grandma 18
factory 38
mine 39
ship 36
alchemy 32
portal 25
time machine 5
posted by whitecedar at 1:34 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
cursor 7
grandma 18
factory 38
mine 39
ship 36
alchemy 32
portal 25
time machine 5
posted by whitecedar at 1:34 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
309,906 cps
315,647,142 cookies in the jar.
0.125|311540452|80|39937|80|216745|70|397830|60|610124|60|2133215|50|5870225|40|45259454|10|320215121
Please. Help me.
posted by misfish at 2:31 AM on August 19, 2013
315,647,142 cookies in the jar.
0.125|311540452|80|39937|80|216745|70|397830|60|610124|60|2133215|50|5870225|40|45259454|10|320215121
Please. Help me.
posted by misfish at 2:31 AM on August 19, 2013
993,975.2 cps. This is what my computer thinks about when I'm asleep now.
0.125|99221597|168|175383907|150|171177211|140|314189709|115|115350508|100|96547962|90|265682259|80|2048409417|35|3469436730
posted by nile_red at 2:08 PM on August 19, 2013
0.125|99221597|168|175383907|150|171177211|140|314189709|115|115350508|100|96547962|90|265682259|80|2048409417|35|3469436730
posted by nile_red at 2:08 PM on August 19, 2013
For anyone not yet sick of cookies the new version is up. Mmmm...cookies...
posted by pianissimo at 9:17 PM on August 24, 2013
posted by pianissimo at 9:17 PM on August 24, 2013
For anyone not yet sick of cookies the new version is up. Mmmm...cookies...
So I've got all the upgrades bars one... sigh. Anyone know how to unlock the last one?
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 9:54 AM on August 25, 2013
So I've got all the upgrades bars one... sigh. Anyone know how to unlock the last one?
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 9:54 AM on August 25, 2013
160 cursors will get you the "trillion fingers" upgrade, fearfulsymmetry.
posted by oog at 8:19 PM on August 25, 2013
posted by oog at 8:19 PM on August 25, 2013
Thanks oog
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:36 PM on August 26, 2013
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:36 PM on August 26, 2013
A smaller cookie just appeared orbiting my big cookie. What is happen.
posted by NoraReed at 5:39 PM on August 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by NoraReed at 5:39 PM on August 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
I've got a hundred time machines and I'm making like half a billion cookies a second and it still doesn't feel like enough. It's because I don't understand the milk. What does the milk do?? Why does it look red? What are the two upgrades I haven't gotten in my store yet??
Shit, I'm going to have to block the site in all my browsers. Or stop using computers altogether.
posted by aught at 6:58 AM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
Shit, I'm going to have to block the site in all my browsers. Or stop using computers altogether.
posted by aught at 6:58 AM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
Am I the only one that just pulled up a console and typed setInterval(ClickCookie, 10)?
posted by zixyer at 4:27 AM on August 29, 2013
posted by zixyer at 4:27 AM on August 29, 2013
Milk is based on how many cheeves you've got, it becomes raspberry juice (but still counts as milk) once you hit a bunch of cheeves. It makes kittens better.
posted by Pope Guilty at 3:36 AM on August 31, 2013
posted by Pope Guilty at 3:36 AM on August 31, 2013
Cheeves?? Kittens?? This game has reached the point (let's call it the Frog Fraction Cliff) where I no longer can tell if people talking about it are fucking with me or not.
posted by NoraReed at 5:36 PM on August 31, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by NoraReed at 5:36 PM on August 31, 2013 [2 favorites]
this game is an alarmingly large part of my life right now. maybe i should set my computer on fire.
posted by oog at 12:25 AM on September 6, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by oog at 12:25 AM on September 6, 2013 [4 favorites]
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